American Nightmare
by JJJJ12
Summary: From the moment Rey met Ben Solo, she knew they weren't going to get along. Now years later, their declared hatred and undeclared attraction has reached a boiling point. So, when Finn and Poe accidentally invite both on a trip to Miami and aboard their yacht for a much-needed vacation, it's not surprising when Rey and Ben don't get along. It is surprising when the boat goes down.
1. Stellar Solo

Hi all! This is my first Star Wars story. It is an AU so even if you haven't seen the movies/aren't a huge fan, consider giving it a read because knowing the backgrounds isn't as necessary. That being said, please enjoy : )

P.S. Hoping to see some of my Sherlock stories updated very soon!

-x-x-x-

Rey Johnson worked hard for everything in her life. In fact, when college recruiters asked for a term to best describe her, the word "determined" escaped her lips before she could even fathom just how cheesy of an answer it was. Still, the tacky response didn't make the answer any less true.

She was determined. Always had been and always would be.

That determination started back in the slums of London, her first home. She had spent the first seven years of her very shitty life across the pond, living below the poverty line in a dingy flat with her mum. Her mother had been sixteen when she had Rey and the birth certificate never named a father. With no family of her own or support from the father's side, her mum struggled to make ends meet, taking on odd jobs like home cleaning and some unsavory ones that Rey still struggled to come to terms with. Said unsavory side jobs led to bad habits and Rey's shitty life got much shittier.

It was a gloomy day when the little girl discovered her mother with a needle in her arm, cold to the touch.

She had been two days shy of her eighth birthday when she became an orphan.

Rey entered the system immediately and was shuffled around the London foster program until her ninth birthday, when a distant relative of hers was located. The man, Chester Bacca, who Rey now affectionately called Uncle Chewie, lived in the suburbs of Denver. Before the little girl could even fathom the change, she was on a plane, flying across the Atlantic Ocean and wondering if she was living in a dream. Little Rey was now in foreign terrain—a new country, a new city, a new home, and a new adult to call the shots.

Thankfully, she adjusted relatively well, and was soon enrolled in a swanky private school thanks to a local grant. Chewie was unmarried, and although he lived comfortably, he was by no means wealthy. The same could not be said for their community—oh how their rich neighbors were delighted to help the impoverished English orphan, excited for the positive buzz her charity case would bring the community. That's how she ended up in a private school uniform that reminded her of the entitled children back in London, instead of ripped jeans and riding on a big yellow school bus to the public school.

Rey had been a bit upset by that. She saw the big yellow school bus in American movies and always dreamed of riding on one.

But Chewie's old truck did just fine.

Suddenly, a girl who grew up eating expired tins of beans picked from the dumpster behind the local Tesco was now attending school with children who had live in nannies, were dropped off in imported, luxury cars, and spent their summer holidays in Bora Bora.

Rey, of course, did not mind being the poor girl. She had clothes on her back, a roof over her head, and a man who treated her like she was his daughter. However, her circumstances certainly put a chip on her shoulder.

She couldn't compete with the rich kids. She didn't receive a brand-new car on her 16th birthday. She didn't spend her summer holidays at fancy sleepaway camps or on a sandy beach in Cabo. She couldn't afford to go on the fancy school-sponsored eighth grade trip to Quebec.

Instead, with no money to her name, she had to find another way to prove herself.

And she did just that.

Rey Johnson became the quintessential try-hard.

Valedictorian? Check.

Most Likely to Succeed? Check.

A resume filled with more clubs than she could count on two hands? Check.

And her busy schedule aside, she still managed to take photographs for the school newspaper and work at the auto shop down the road, run by Han Solo, a local businessman. The Solo family owned and operated about twelve different car dealerships in all of Colorado and were one of the wealthiest families in the area because of it. Han's wife, Leia, was a State Senator, and the couple had two sons—Ben, who was their biological son, and Poe, who they adopted when the boy was six years old.

Oh, Ben. Yes. _That's_ where this story begins.

Rey did not like Ben Solo.

She loved Han. In addition to being one of Uncle Chewie's closest friends, he was also her first boss and went out of his way to accommodate the busy high schooler, never hesitating to give her time off for college interviews or to study for a big test.

She loved Leia. The woman was one of the only positive female role models that Rey had in her life and was always available for a cup of tea or to lend an ear.

She loved Poe. He had become one of her best mates and had been dating her closest friend in the world, Finn, on and off for ten years now.

But then there was Ben Solo, the bane of her existence since the moment she stepped foot across the pond.

If she was now living the American Dream, content with her career that she started from the ground up, then surely Ben Solo was her American Nightmare.

-x-x-x-

 _December 2007_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Tatooine High School_

 _Rey sat on the bleachers facing the football field, enjoying the crisp breeze of the late autumn air. One hand was buried in the pocket covering her stomach, while the other held a new cell phone to her ear. She was wearing a ripped sweatshirt that she had nicked from Finn sometime last year—while it was huge on her, it was incredibly cozy, and the football graphics on the front made her feel important. Finn simply had to understand that since she didn't have a boyfriend, she would have to steal his clothes._

 _And considering his family was loaded, he was too nice to complain._

 _Besides, he had four seasons of football spirit wear at his disposal. As if he needed that many sweatshirts._

 _She bit her lip and focused on the words of the speaker on the other line of her phone call. Her phone, the shittiest and cheapest model available at the store, was a birthday gift from Chewie._

 _Rey would be lying if she said she hadn't sobbed at receiving it._

 _She had been the only student at the school without one._

"— _we're just so impressed by your work in the community, especially with the fostering program in the Denver region, and cannot believe you've raised almost one-hundred thousand dollars in just two years—"_

 _Rey held in a grin and listened to the words of praise, unbelieving of her luck. She gazed back to the field and couldn't help but laugh at Finn. With the football season over, her best friend refused to sit still and had taken to running after school._

 _He claimed it had nothing to do with Poe, who was on the track team, utilizing the same space. That was simply a coincidence._

"— _so we really appreciate your interview, and unless there's a crazy news story, you're going to be our front page story for Sunday's edition. Can we call back if we have any further questions?"_

 _Rey swallowed a squeal. "Of course!" She gasped out, her lips turning in a ginormous smile, "Thank you so so so much!"_

 _When the line went dead, Rey flipped her phone closed and let out a scream of delight._

 _During her sophomore year of high school, with the help of her favorite English teacher Mr. Abrams, Rey had launched a club called Friends for Fostering, which focused on raising money for children in foster care. Given her own experiences, it was important to her to give back to the community. About six times a year, they held fundraisers, including bake sales, car washes, and toy drives, with all proceeds going to the children. They also spent time with the kids, offering tutoring sessions, sports days, and mentoring programs._

 _The club was everything to Rey. It was everything she wished she had as a girl, even with only a year in the system._

 _As Rey shoved her phone back into her pocket, beaming wildly, Finn jogged over, satisfied with his two-mile run. He raised an eyebrow._

" _What's got you all excited?" He asked, pulling his t-shirt up to wipe some sweat off his face._

 _Rey ignored the way his eyes continued to glance back to the field, paying particularly close attention to the practicing track team. Especially one of the middle-distance runners. She let out another squeal._

" _Well, Mr. Abrams was so impressed with our Christmas fundraiser that he mentioned it to his friend at the Denver Post, who just so happens to be the co-Editor in Chief. Our fundraiser and the club are going to be the front-page story on Sunday!"_

 _She had spit out the words so quickly that Finn couldn't help but laugh. He grabbed his sweatshirt and slid back into it, smiling at his best friend._

" _That's insane, Peanut! Congrats!" He pulled her into a hug and grinned, "We'll go celebrate, yeah?"_

 _She nodded excitedly. "And, now I can mention this in my college apps! He said he's going to contact the local news station. Could you imagine me on the telly? Think of all the additional donations we'll receive!"_

 _Finn rolled his eyes, albeit still smiling. "You know I can." He kissed her head and pulled away, although his focus was locked on an approaching form, "Incoming," He mumbled._

 _Rey raised an eyebrow and turned around, meeting the cool gaze of one Ben Solo. She immediately crossed her arms and scowled._

 _Force of habit._

" _Can I help you, Solo?" She spat out, her nose twitching as her face scrunched up._

 _Ben looked from her nose, to Finn, to back to Rey, his face set in an angry scowl. "No. You can't help me."_

" _Then why are you down here?" Rey countered, hauling her backpack onto her back as she spoke, "Don't you have basketball practice?"_

 _He rolled his eyes. "Not that it's any of your business, but I needed to speak to my brother." He glanced at the track, watching as Poe took off the second his coach blew the whistle, "The better question is why are you two…" He narrowed his eyes at Finn, "Hanging out alone down here?"_

 _Finn protectively threw an arm around Rey and glared. "We were just heading out, actually. We're going to grab a bite."_

 _Ben looked at Finn's arm and shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. Rey desperately tried to ignore the way they hung low on his muscular hips, showing off his basketball shorts colored in their school's royal blue. He cleared his throat. "Cool. Bye."_

 _Finn gave him an obnoxious wave and led Rey away. And as much as they both tried to hold their wandering eyes, both couldn't help but glance back towards the disappearing field. One of them had their sights set on a tanned form, excellently navigating every curve of the track. The other couldn't tear their eyes away from the dark form, scowling and kicking loose rocks away from the pavement._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _And even a decade later, some things didn't change._

 _Including her hatred of Ben Solo._

 _Because that was the only feeling running through her veins on that Sunday morning, when she rushed downstairs, ignoring Chewie's offer of breakfast, and finally held the Denver Post in her hands._

 _Her eyes had furiously scanned every inch of the front page. And then the next page. And then the next page._

 _All the way to the obituaries._

 _There was no article on Friends for Fostering. Not a single photograph. Not one mention._

 _Yet on the front page, perfectly aligned with the crease of the paper, was Ben Solo's stupid face. His plump lips, his big ears, and his toned physique captured the prime real estate. With a basketball in his hands, his face focused and his body contorted, he maneuvered around an opposing player._

" _Stellar Solo Helps Tatooine Maintain Undefeated Streak, Power Forward Named Nominee for Gatorade Player of the Year"_

 _Rey screamed and threw the paper._

 _She didn't hate Ben Solo._

 _She_ _ **despised**_ _him._

-x-x-x-

April 2018

Denver, Colorado

Learnable Offices

Rey sat in her desk chair, staring at the framed document on the wall, admiring the gold flecks and beautiful calligraphy of the words. She had graduated from Harvard, a full scholarship and all. It still made her heart flutter.

But mainly she was staring at the document to ignore Finn's begging.

"Oh, come on! You need a vacation! What's the big deal?" He cried, interrupting his words with a slurp from his Starbucks iced coffee, "What's there not to like about beautiful beaches and clubbing?"

Rey rolled her eyes and began to play with a pen sitting on her desk. "It's not the holiday itself, Finn. I just don't want to be your third wheel," She explained, focusing her attention on her perfectly manicured nails, "Why can't you two just enjoy a romantic getaway?"

Finn groaned. "Oh, Peanut, you know you wouldn't be a third wheel with us. We're practically in a polyamorous relationship with you, minus the sex!"

She let out a soft cry. "Christ, must you remind me of how long it's been since I've gotten laid?"

He made a face. "Rey. I volunteered to set you up with my co-worker. You said no."

"I'm too busy!" She immediately shot back.

And she was, really. Rey had graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard and started her own company, Learnable, which specialized in learning programs for at-risk and under-served youth. She had received a staggering amount of investments in the angel phase and was already brokering deals with more companies and foundations than she ever thought possible.

As CEO, she was in control. The small firm only had about ten employees. In fact, she hadn't taken more than a week off since she began the company, now almost seven years ago.

Suffice to say, she had a lot on her plate. Shagging and taking a holiday were not at the top of her list.

Especially after her last relationship.

But she wasn't ready to delve back into _that_ disaster quite yet.

"Rey…"

She sighed and began to rub her temples. "What's this really about?"

He bit his lip. "Truth?"

"Truth."

Finn let out a breath and couldn't help but grin. "I think Poe is going to propose." He fidgeted in his seat and coughed, "And given your incredible photography skills—"

Rey groaned and dropped her head to her hands. "You want me to join you on vacation, so I can be your personal photographer when he proposes?!"

He made a face. "It sounds bad when you put it like that!"

"It's—you're—Finn, are you serious?"

He sighed. "Look, Rey, yes, I want you to take photos, but I also want you there because you're my best friend and when the love of my life proposes, I want to celebrate with you." He rose to his feet and stretched, "Besides, you are in desperate need of a vacation. I can feel your stress radiating from over here and it's bumming me out. I got a massage yesterday and it's bringing the knots back."

Rey mumbled to herself and studied her best friend. "Details?"

Finn smirked. "We're aiming for July. We'll fly to Miami, hit up the city for maybe like three days, and then we're renting a yacht and sailing to the Bahamas and Turks & Caicos."

Rey blinked and rubbed at her eyes. "Poe is comfortable sailing that much? Isn't that… a lot?"

"He's been sailing since he was like, nine. You know that's all they did over the summer. He claims he's up for the challenge. Besides, he's taught me a lot, so I can always take over if it gets too intense," Finn explained, his eyes sparkling with pride as he spoke about his boyfriend, "We want a nice yacht too."

And the couple could certainly afford it. Finn had gone to law school and was now working at one of the biggest practices in Denver. Poe, on the other hand, was working closely with Han to expand dealerships out of Colorado and into New Mexico, Arizona, and California. With business booming, he was certainly enjoying the benefits.

Suffice to say the couple had no shortage of cash.

The same couldn't be said for her. Rey was running a start-up.

Which she loved. Dearly.

Her bank account felt differently.

But, she was doing well. Just not in Finn and Poe's league.

She hummed in agreement. "Cost?"

He smiled softly. "We'll cover it."

That had Rey jumping out of her chair. "Absolutely not! You are not paying for me to fly to Miami and gallivant across the Atlantic with you!"

He waved his hand. "Rey, you have spent your life trying to create things to help other people. Let us treat you, just this once. You wouldn't let us cover your graduation trip to Hawaii or our spring break to Cabo and they sucked without you there. Let us do this for you."

She frowned. "Finn, please, I have money now! Let me pay."

"We can make a deal. You pay for your flights and be our personal photographer, but we'll cover the hotel and the yacht."

She bit her lip. "Finn, you can't be serious…"

"Consider it an early birthday _and_ Christmas present."

Rey whimpered. "Alright, fine! But you need to agree that when you and Poe finally get married, I need Ben kept as far away from me at the wedding as possible."

Finn laughed and smiled. "Deal, Peanut. Easy."

-x-x-x-

May 2018

Denver, Colorado

Yavin Gated Residences

A beautiful plate, part of a collection gifted from Finn's mother, dropped to the ground. The ceramic pieces flew around the kitchen, thankfully not scratching the wooden floors. The remains of chicken piccata coated Finn's fuzzy socks.

He looked at his boyfriend, his eyes wide.

"Poe, what did you just say?"

Poe raised an eyebrow and glanced at the mess. He shrugged and ate another forkful before responding. "I said I bought Ben plane tickets. His return date is a few days before we leave, so I thought it would be a nice welcome home gift. You know, give him a chance to relax and for the three of us to bond."

Finn glanced between the ceramic shards, the spilled food, and his oblivious boyfriend.

"Poe," He practically hissed out, "You invited Ben?"

The brunette shrugged. "Why are you acting like that? You two have gotten along fine for years."

Finn groaned and threw his head back, feigning agony. "Poe, I invited Rey! Don't you remember that conversation?"

Poe blinked. "No…"

"In the hot tub in Napa Valley?"

That had Poe smirking. "I don't remember talking."

Finn groaned and grabbed his wine glass, taking an anxious sip. "We decided to invite Rey, remember? We agreed she needed a vacation and that we'd foot the bill?"

Poe chewed his food thoughtfully. After a few moments, his face froze, the man seeming to remember the interaction. "Oh…"

"Please tell me you haven't told Ben yet."

"Uh…" Poe scratched at his neck and looked away, "I may or may not have Skyped him a few days ago…"

Finn took a shaky breath. "Poe, baby, did you or did you not tell Ben about the trip?"

Poe met his boyfriend's gaze and attempted a boyish smile. "Well, on a positive note, it's going to be a fun trip, right?"

The couple sighed simultaneously and downed their glasses.

"Right, so, no telling Rey or Ben ahead of time. Shouldn't be too hard, right?" Finn practically begged, before refilling their glasses.

Poe nodded. "He's on a different flight than us. He wanted to spend an extra day or so with Mom and Dad."

Finn swallowed. "Perfect. So… They don't need to spend time with each other in Miami. It's just when we sail out. And at that point, they'll have to jump ship to escape."

They both laughed and considered the prospect. After a moment, their laughter faded, and they met each other's gazes, eyes wide.

"You don't think—"

"I mean she couldn't—"

"But he could! He's a Navy SEAL for Christ sakes!"

They abandoned the conversation and instead focused on decimating their bottle of wine, brought back from that trip to Napa Valley.

It was Finn's fault for trying to have a reasonable conversation with his boyfriend while naked.

That _never_ worked out well.

-x-x-x-


	2. A Midnight in Paris

_October 2004_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Tatooine High School_

 _Rey slumped further into the plastic chair and sighed. The dimmed lights, cheesy streamers, and banners advertising for 'A Midnight in Paris' did nothing to distract from the fact that they were still sitting in their high school gym. She had spent hours with the student council building an Eiffel Tower out of tin foil. In fact, the entire theme had been her idea—a huge step up from the Vice President's insistence on a horror, Halloween themed event._

 _As if Rey's first Homecoming was going to be spent with plastic vampire fangs in her mouth or fake blood around her lips._

 _Yet, even knowing the amount of work she contributed, even sporting a pretty new dress that Chewie had graciously chipped in for, even wearing her hair in the pretty, soft curls that made her feel attractive, she still wasn't having a good time._

 _The adjustment to high school hadn't been exactly easy. Her closest friend in middle school had been Finn, and as much as she loved him to death, she wanted more friends. Specifically, female friends. Ones that she could braid hair and gossip about boys with._

 _But, after two months in the bigger school, Rey learned three things._

 _Firstly, she didn't get along with girls. Maybe it was the fact that she liked playing in dirt and getting her hands dirty. Maybe it was her attitude. She had no idea. But, for some reason, the closest she had come to a female friend was the neighbor's poodle._

 _Secondly, Finn probably was just as willing to gossip about boys as she was. She wasn't completely sure about that tidbit yet, but she had her suspicions._

 _Thirdly, high school wasn't all that different from middle school. The lunches still sucked. The students still misbehaved. The uniforms barely changed. She still hated Ben Solo._

 _At the thought of the boy of her nightmares, she cringed and slumped deeper into the seat. Her first Homecoming had been ruined by the asshole. A few weeks ago, he had approached her asking if she had a date._

 _The thought still made Rey fume. Of course, she had to lie. Had she told him the truth, being that no, she didn't have a date, he would have laughed at her and called her a loser._

 _The nerve of the asshole to even ask to begin with._

 _Then, to make matters worse, she somehow got dragged to the Solo household for the standard pre-dance photos. Finn and Poe, who had been acquainted in middle school, had developed a bond once high school began. And where Finn went, Rey went. Joining them were Dineé and Dormé Ellberger, who had agreed to come as Finn and Poe's dates._

 _So, given Rey's shitty luck in the universe, every photo they took made it seem like she and Ben were a couple. It didn't help that he wore all black, sans a baby blue tie—coincidentally the same shade as Rey's dress. He never even inquired about her rumored date, making her unreasonably angry._

 _And that's how the awful, not-so-good day had gone. Now, Rey sat alone, watching Finn and Dineé dance, laughing and twirling. Poe and Dormé were somewhere in the courtyard, likely making out. And Ben Solo? Well, he was being his typical douche self and chatting in a corner with Kaydel Connix, a pretty blonde girl that made Rey want to check her minimal makeup in the mirror._

 _She had managed another ten minutes and two Usher songs before finally deciding that she'd use the wall phone in the hallway to call Chewie to pick her up. But as she rose to her feet, she found herself facing Ben Solo._

 _His dark hair had been gelled back, making his ears look too large for his face. But, even then, Rey was incensed to admit that he did look rather handsome._

 _Not that she_ _ **actually**_ _admitted it though._

 _The boy in question shifted side to side, looking rather nervous. Rey crossed her arms and made a face._

" _What?" She asked, clutching her sparkly black clutch to her stomach. She glanced around the room, suddenly extremely jealous of the fun Finn was having. He was a natural at making friends._

 _Ben swallowed. "Well, I thought that maybe you'd want to dance."_

 _Rey narrowed her eyes and stepped back. "Oh, how thoughtful of you," She spat out with an eyeroll, "As if little old me needed the pity dance._ _ **I**_ _decided not to dance. I don't like to."_

 _He swallowed and nodded slowly. "Oh. Well, I just thought—"_

 _She stepped away. "You thought wrong. Bye Ben."_

 _The nerve of him._

 _And while not the first time, and unfortunately not the last time, Rey walked away from Ben Solo._

 _-x-x-x-_

June 2018

Mukalla, Yemen

NSWC Forward Operating Base, SEAL Team 5

Even with military grade fans posted every few feet along the walls of their outpost, it was still so fucking hot. The type of hot that sucked the soul of your body minute by minute. In fact, days like this had Ben wondering if he'd rather relive Hell Week, simply to enjoy the cool breeze of the California winds.

Well. Maybe not.

He ate another forkful of potato and stared at the other chicken thigh on his plate, ignoring the conversations of his team members around him. That was until Hux dropped beside him, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"I just finished skyping Phasma. Olivia just looks so…" He swallowed his words and shook his head, still grinning, "She's so perfect. She's got these chubby cheeks. Dimples too." He sighed and began to dig into his potatoes, "Two weeks and four days. Then freedom."

Ben glanced at his friend and couldn't help but envy the guy. Hux had married his high school sweetheart before even finishing his training, and the pair had just welcomed their first child, a little girl named Olivia, only weeks before their team was deployed. Hux had spent just days with his wife and child after the birth before being whisked away.

Hux shoved a forkful of chicken into his mouth and looked at Ben. "She asked about you. She and I agree. You need to settle down. You know they're keeping you working just because you're the only guy on our team unattached."

And it was true. As the only single guy on their team, Ben was expected to want less time off. With no wife and no kids, he was easy to depend on.

Ben shrugged and finished the last of his meal. "Maybe I like working this much."

Hux rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and I fucking like eating omelet MREs. Cut the shit, Kylo."

That had Ben groaning. He hated the nickname. Not even two weeks into his first training, now almost ten years ago, one of the commanding officers thought he resembled their former commander, a guy named Phillip Kylo. As soon as he started calling Ben Kylo, the recruits followed suit.

Now everyone on his fucking team called him it.

Ben sighed. "Nobody just says, 'I should settle down' and then immediately finds a wife."

"Uh, when they're a fucking SEAL they do! Phas could introduce you to at least ten women who would do anything to marry someone like you." Hux retorted, punctuating his words with obnoxious hand gestures, "You're just being picky."

"I'm not interested in locking down some Frog Hog your wife knows through her book club," Ben groaned out and shook his head, "If I meet someone, then yeah, I'll settle down. Until then…" He shrugged and looked down, "There's no point."

Hux watched his friend and quirked an eyebrow. "This isn't about that girl back home, is it?"

Ben tensed. "You don't know what you're talking about, Hux."

The red-headed dipshit had the nerve to smirk. "Yeah, sure I don't." He ate another forkful of chicken and stretched, "You want to see some photos of Olivia that Phas sent?"

Ben really wanted to say something snarky, or be an asshole, or just say no. But at the thought of a smiling baby, not even seven months old, he couldn't find it in him.

"Sure. Let's see if your kid is just as much of a shit as you are."

-x-x-x-

Maybe Hux mentioning his family inspired him. Maybe he was feeling anxious for his rest period. Or maybe he was just feeling lonely.

Either way, that evening, sitting on his cot, he stared at the screen of his laptop, a version much nicer than one he would have purchased for himself. But, his mother was always a generous gifter, and he knew her spending habit was a way to make up for the little amount of time he spent with his family.

So, maybe it made him a bit of an ass that he wasn't skyping his parents, but instead his brother. He loved his mother and father but talking to them was about as painful as having to take a shit while on a mission.

Poe was always easier to communicate with and generally made for a more pleasant hour. Hence the dark-haired man on his screen.

His brother was reclining in a large leather chair, one that Ben recognized from Poe and Finn's home in Denver. Whenever he went back to his hometown, he split time between his childhood home with his parents and Poe's place.

Ben's preference was always his brother's house, for obvious reasons.

"Anyways, dad and I just got back from Scottsdale, and we're up and running there. Although, dad seems less and less invested. I think he's ready to pretty much transfer everything along to me." Poe shifted in the chair and smiled, "He certainly wants to retire, especially with mom retiring when her term ends."

Ben swallowed and nodded. His parents retiring had come up the last time he skyped them. As well as the possibility of them moving.

"They want to move to San Diego," He found himself blurting out, unsure of how to broach the subject, "Dad likes the beach and mom wants to be near the base to see me more often."

Poe coughed and nodded. "Yeah… Dad mentioned that."

"I told them it wasn't my decision." Ben sighed and rubbed at his eyes, "But I doubt you want them to leave."

His brother considered the words and bit his lip. "It's funny you bring that up. I mentioned it to Finn and well…" He ran a hand through his hair and paused, considering his words, "Finn and I are discussing what's keeping us in Denver. I mean, his parents are almost always in their home in Portland. I travel enough as it is for our dealerships outside of Colorado. And if mom and dad were to go to you…"

Poe continued to watch Ben, moving the laptop as he finished his thoughts, "Well, if they were to leave, the only thing keeping us here is Rey."

The minute the name left Poe's lips, Ben tensed, every muscle in his body tightening in painful awareness. He let out a terse breath.

"I imagine Rey would not like you and Finn leaving Denver, especially if it were to be closer to me."

Poe couldn't help but laugh. "No, I don't think she would."

Ben glanced at his brown bed sheets, biting his lip, desperate to swallow his next question.

He wasn't successful.

"How is she?"

Poe smiled softly, a knowing glint in his eyes. "She's doing well. She was all excited a few weeks ago. One of her classmates from Harvard works for the Broncos and got her in touch with their foundation. They're doing some big promotion with Learnable when the season starts."

Ben swallowed and nodded. "Cool."

Poe continued. "But, Snap showed up at her door a few days ago while Finn was over helping her put together a desk. If she had let him, he would have cracked Snap's neck."

Suddenly, his tightened muscles began to burn, the blood in his veins turning ice cold. He couldn't help the way his heart began to hammer in his chest. Poe made a face.

"Ben, we took care of him. He's not going to come back around."

He took a shuttering breath, trying to remind himself to calm down. But at the mention of Rey, he was never relaxed.

Especially when her ex-fiancé, Snap Wexley, was involved.

Oh, how Ben wished he could snap the man's neck in two and feed his remains to a pack of wolves.

His life was devoted to landing in foreign countries and eliminating unsavory characters, normally leaders of terrorist organizations and rogue government officials. He had killed many, many people in his ten years of service.

But Snap was still at the top of his kill list for the things he did to Rey.

"He's harmless. Besides, you're not one to act concerned after the things you've said to her," Poe continued, now appearing to be eating from a bag of M&Ms, "Not only can she take care of herself, but Finn and I always have her back."

Ben practically growled. "Do not compare me to him."

Poe stared at his brother through the computer screen. He shook his head. "Honestly, Ben? If I had to guess, I'd say she's shed more tears over you than she ever did over him."

Ben had no response to his brother's words.

And later that evening, when he finally dropped to his cot, he wouldn't be able to forget them.

-x-x-x-

 _October 2009_

 _Cambridge, Massachusetts_

 _Harvard University, Quincy House_

 _Her twin bed was completely covered—every inch not hidden beneath her small frame was competing for space with text books, seven weeks of lecture notes, her shitty laptop, and a half-empty bag of Doritos. But, earlier in evening, after a rather strenuous day, all her class materials had been shoved to the end of the mattress. Her body claimed the upper half of the pad, her frame now curled into the fetal position, her cell phone tucked between her head and her shoulder._

 _She tugged the blanket closer, her heart pounding in her chest as Finn's soothing voice filtered in from the other line._

" _So, yeah. I guess I can say I've survived my first major relationship fight," Finn joked, his familiar chuckle tickling her ear, "It certainly helped when Poe showed up with a bottle of Rosé and pizza."_

 _Rey tried to smile at the reunion of her two best friends. She really did. But her head was elsewhere._

 _At her silence, Finn continued speaking. "Peanut? You there?"_

" _I'm here," Her voice was small, not something that could be normally said about Rey Johnson._

" _Are you okay? You're awfully quiet. How did your history midterm go? That's the big one you were studying for, right?"_

 _Rey glanced over at the abandoned books, her stomach flipping violently. The smiling servicemen on the front of her textbook made her stomach clench._

" _Finn," She started, her voice shaky, "How is he?"_

 _She sucked in her breath at the silence on the other line._

" _Who, Rey?"_

 _She didn't respond._

 _After a few moments more, she could hear him shuffling on the other line. A soft sigh filled his ears._

" _I don't know much, Peanut. It's his first deployment. Han and Leia know little and Poe knows even less. The last I heard he had spent a few weeks in Germany but was ultimately heading towards somewhere in northern Africa."_

 _Rey swallowed and forced herself to look away from the book. "He's going to be okay, right?"_

 _More silence met her beating heart._

" _He's trained for this, Peanut," Finn began, his voice soft, filled with a level of understanding that even Rey didn't possess, "We just have to hope for the best."_

 _She swallowed. "My class—I was reading—and the casualty rate—"_

 _Finn cursed. "Don't, Peanut. Please. You'll make yourself sick."_

 _More silence met both ends. Rey shut her eyes._

" _You know," He began again, his voice cautious, "If you're really concerned, you could call him. Write to him."_

 _She swallowed. "I don't think he'd like that. We'd just…" She shifted in her bed, bringing her knees to her chest, "argue or something."_

 _She couldn't see Finn smile on the other line. "I don't know about that, Peanut," He let out a loud yawned and continued, "Get some sleep, Rey. You need it. I have a group meeting, so I have to go."_

 _When the call ended, she was returned to the silence of her room, her roommate thankfully gone for the evening. She pulled her sweatshirt closer and shut her eyes, trying to ignore the worries filling her stomach and the scenes of destruction, and death, and him that filled her head._

 _She forced herself to take a few calming breaths, eventually drifting off into a much-needed sleep, trying to think about anything but a certain brown-eyed boy and the old Tatooine basketball hoodie keeping her warm._

-x-x-x-

June 2018

Denver, Colorado

Denver Pavilions Shopping Center

Rey sipped her tea and followed Finn idly around the shopping area, her heavy tote bag weighing down her right shoulder. Her best mate hadn't stopped complaining since he picked her up.

She appreciated his concern. She really did. But she was twenty-eight years old and didn't need a babysitter.

"God! I could fucking kill him. I can't believe he had the audacity to show up on your doorstep after everything he did to you," Finn spat out, typing away on his phone as angrily as he spoke, "I don't know how you're being so calm about this!"

Rey sighed and shrugged. Truthfully, she was surprised herself. Her ex-fiancé showing up at her flat had certainly been an unwelcome surprise. She had been trying extremely hard to forget about her almost year with Snap, especially after their relationship went from rocky to exceptionally shitty.

She had liked him. She really had. He was a Princeton graduate, incredibly smart, and they shared a lot of common interests, like reading and hiking. Things were pleasant enough and when he proposed, Rey figured she might as well say yes.

There was no guarantee someone was ever going to ask her to get married again. She felt like she'd be an idiot if she rejected him.

Of course, with a ring on her finger, she realized just how much of an asshole Snap really was. From his angry outbursts, to his obnoxious spending habits, to his affair with an elementary school teacher, Rey quickly learned he was not the man she thought he was.

And when she broke off the engagement, he didn't take rejection too kindly, and proceeded to try to destroy Rey's reputation, making unreputable claims about where the profits of her business were going. He even had the nerve to suggest to a newspaper that she was not an orphan and had never lived in foster care but simply crafted the story in a bid to get into an ivy league school.

Yeah. It had been a messy six months since the breakup.

So, yeah, she was surprised she was taking his arrival so calmly.

Maybe it was all the yoga.

"It's fine, Finn. He's gone. I gave him back his stupid fucking football and now I'll never have to see his stupid face again," She sighed and tossed her cup into the closest bin, "It's in the past."

Finn shook his head angrily. "I would have fucking bought him a ball and gotten it signed by Peyton Manning if it meant he never tried to see you again."

She rubbed at his arm and smiled softly. "Finn, it's okay. Let's just shop, alright?"

And so, the pair filtered in and out of shops, glancing at the summer arrivals and discussing everything from work, to Poe, to Chewie's emergence on the dating scene. Finally, they settled in a department store, where Rey was admiring a pair of pajama pants.

Finn groaned. "Rey. We came here to update your wardrobe. You're going to Miami. Do you know what clubbing there is like?"

She blinked. "No? Do I look like I frequent clubs?"

He sighed and dragged her towards the dress section. "I made a list of things you need. We need at least three outfits for nights out, three new bathing suits, and a fun hat. All beach vacations need a hat."

Rey made a face. "Well, if you made a list, then you can go ahead and pick the clothes."

She expected him to roll his eyes and argue. Instead, he smirked and wandered off, whistling as if he had no cares in the world.

She had a feeling she'd regret that offer.

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Denver, Colorado

Denver International Airport

He missed the mountain air. He missed the beer. He missed his mother's cooking. He missed his old running path. Hell, he even missed his father, as much as it pained him to admit it.

So, when he finally touched down in Denver, he was relieved. He had three weeks of vacation before he'd head back to Coronado for another month of training, then to Missouri, Hawaii, and Arizona for additional training before sitting on a flight back to the Middle East.

His time off was always limited, as was his time in Denver, normally equating to about four weeks a year. It was Ben's preference to spend most of his vacation time back in Colorado—with no wife or kids in San Diego, his vacation time there was typically spent sleeping and reading alone.

At least in Denver, he had his family to see.

And they were here now, of course, picking him up with their same theatrics. Leia was sobbing and holding him close, going on and on about how worried she was with him abroad. Han gave his usual spiel, patting his back and congratulating him on not getting blown up. Poe held in tears but gave him a hug. He exchanged pleasantries with Finn.

It was nice. Pleasant.

Even if he felt like he was missing something.

"Are you really leaving on Tuesday?" Leia cried out, holding onto Ben's arm like he'd disappear if she let go, "We've missed you so much!"

Ben adjusted his pack on his shoulder and smiled softly at his mother. "I'm going with Poe and Finn to Miami. But I'll be back in a week and a half. I'll spend my last week just with you and dad, okay?"

That seemed to appease Leia. She squeezed his cheek and sniffled. "Oh, gosh, you're so handsome. I'm so lucky to have two beautiful sons," She glanced from Ben to Poe and sighed, "Except neither of them is interested in giving me any grandchildren."

Han snorted and glanced at Poe and Finn. "How'd that work, anyways?"

Leia smacked his arm. "I just think we'd all be a lot happier with a baby running around."

Poe rolled his eyes. "Mom, another time, yeah? Let's get Ben home. I'm sure he's exhausted and starving."

The group headed towards their cars, Poe and Finn leading the pack, discussing with Leia what to cook for dinner. Han dropped back and kept pace with Ben, looking between his son and the stares of passing airport customers.

"You know," Han began, his voice gruff, "There's never been a lady not head-over-heels for a man in uniform. So, why the hell haven't you gotten married yet?"

Ben sighed and shifted his bag. Apparently, this conversation wasn't going to leave him any time soon. "Dad, it's not that I've actively decided not to get married—"

Han rolled his eyes. "We don't care if you're gay. Just look at your brother."

"I'm not gay."

A scowl bloomed onto Han's lips. "Well, that was the only alternative I could think of. Now I'm just fucking angry at you."

Ben stopped walking and stared at his father. How like the pair of them to start arguing within minutes of a reunion. He sighed.

"Sorry? You're angry at me?"

Han made a noise of agreement. "Yeah. This is about Rey, isn't it?" He muttered to himself and kept walking, "I knew that girl was a diamond in the rough the minute Chewie picked her up from the airport. I always hoped one of my boys would win her heart. And since Poe is busy playing for the other team, that leaves you."

Ben swallowed and raced after his father. "Excuse me? What are you—"

"Look," Han groaned and rubbed his face, his eyes clearly tired, "She's over all the time. If we have Poe and Finn over for dinner, Rey's there too. She's already a part of the family."

Ben mumbled to himself and continued his stride. "What does that—"

"My point is, get your head out of your fucking ass and stop acting like a damn boy!" Han's voice was surprisingly callous, "You've got the balls to fight for our fucking country and you can't man up and tell this girl how you feel?"

"I don't know what you think you're talking about, but—"

Han rolled his eyes. "Oh, cut me the shit G.I. Joe."

By the time his father had caught up to the rest of his family, Ben was forced to fall behind, considering Han's words. But it wasn't as if he needed Han's badgering to remind him of what, or rather who, was waiting just around the corner in his hometown.

Of course he'd see her.

It always came back to Rey.


	3. Mary Poppins

_April 1999_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Solo Residences_

 _Rey stood on the front porch, staring at the monstrous house, amazed by the deep red brick, large white pillars, and round driveway of the home. The little girl was reminded of the pictures of Kensington Palace that she used to glance longingly at, back when she frequented the public libraries in London. She had never visited the palace, always afraid of sticking out around the very wealthy, very excited tourists. She now regretted never going._

 _Yet, now in America, she was staring at this monstrosity, a house that she imagined any member of the royal family back in England could have resided it. In fact, she had noticed immediately just how much bigger houses were in America. She knew the country was much bigger, but it wasn't until she had landed stateside that she realized just how different everything was._

 _Uncle Chewie, however, only lived in a small, two-bedroom home, but it was perfect and everything Rey could have ever asked her. She had her own room, the bathroom had a tub, and she was already in love with the big, wood-burning fireplace that she knew when the weather got cold, Chewie would be tossing logs into._

 _Now, however, she was hiding behind Chewie's leg, still only nine-years-old, scared to death of the house in front of her. Chewie had given her an affectionate pat on the head, promising her that the people inside were the nicest she'd ever meet._

 _And Chewie was right. Kind of. She had first met Mrs. Solo, a beautiful woman with long, brown hair, and big, caring eyes. With her pretty pearl necklace and gorgeous dress, Rey could have sworn she was staring at a model on a magazine page. And then she had met Mr. Solo, a kind-man with a big laugh and a trickster humor. She already liked him._

 _Then she met the sons. She immediately knew which one was Poe—Chewie had told her that like herself, he had been adopted by the Solos. She hoped they would bond over their shared upbringing. He was a handsome little boy, with tanned skin, and curious brown eyes, his tuft of brown hair cut short. The minute he had met Rey, he was shooting off question after question._

" _Have you met the Queen? Do you really call cookies biscuits? Was your school like Hogwarts? Have you read Harry Potter? Which house are you in? Why do the buses in London have two levels? Isn't that dangerous? Why do—"_

" _Poe!" Leia laughed, ruffing his hair, "Calm down. Don't overwhelm Rey. There will be plenty of time for her to tell you all about London."_

 _Poe seemed satisfied with that answer. He grinned and stepped back into the house, still watching Rey._

 _Then there was Ben, standing at the edge of the porch, his arms crossed, his face in a scowl. He was wearing a Denver Nuggets t-shirt, one that was probably a size too small for his frame. And understandably so—Chewie had said Ben was her age, nine, yet the boy looked to be about twelve based on his height and weight._

 _And unlike Poe, she wouldn't exactly use the word handsome to describe him. He was cute, that was evident, but he had big floppy ears that made her want to giggle and limbs that went on forever. She looked to him, suddenly shy for reasons she couldn't grasp, and took a step forward._

" _Hi," she stuttered out, her cheeks tinted pink, "I'm Rey."_

 _Ben looked away from the brick he had been studying intently and made a face. "What kind of name is Rey?"_

 _Leia immediately smacked the back of his head. "Benjamin! You are to be polite to our guest!"_

 _He rolled his eyes and stood up tall. He glanced back to Rey. "You sound like Mary Poppins."_

 _And then he disappeared back into the house, yelling to Poe that he wanted to play Donkey Kong. Rey sighed and looked down._

 _Han rubbed at her back, forcing her to look up. He gave her a charming grin. "Don't mind my boys. All guys your age are going to be morons, Rey."_

 _She couldn't help but giggle. "Uncle Chewie said the same thing."_

 _Han met Chewie's gaze and grinned. "Well, Chewie is a smart dude. Needs a shave though."_

 _Eventually they moved inside, and Rey was as taken with the interior as she had been with the exterior. From the beautiful spiral staircase in the middle of the entry way, to the dark wooden floors, to the high ceilings and glamourous chandelier, Rey was just in awe._

 _And as she ate Leia's delicious food, and listened to Han's corny jokes, and answered every single one of Poe's questions, she decided that the best of her life was to come. That she would enjoy her new home in America._

 _Even if it meant dealing with Ben Solo's dark scowl and mood swings._

 _-x-x-x-_

July 2018

Denver, Colorado

Mos Eisley Cantina

Rey sat huddled in a corner booth, enjoying another tortilla chip smothered in guacamole. She was joined by her co-worker and probably only true friend outside of Poe and Finn, Rose Tico. She had met Rose in her second year at Harvard, and the pair had hit it off. After graduation, Rose had taken her big brain to New York City and tried her hand on Wall Street. However, when Rey got Learnable off the ground, she called in Rose, knowing her friend was the woman for the job. And, since Rose loved to help others and wanted to be closer to her parents, who lived in Albuquerque, it was a perfect match.

So, whenever Rey needed to rant about the perils of starting a business, or when Poe and Finn got on her nerves, Rose was the girl for her. The pair had taken to Mos' to discuss work, given Rey's pending holiday, but after a margarita and two rounds of chips, they were chatting about far more enjoyable things.

"Ugh! I wish I was going to Miami," Rose cried, before taking another sip of the margarita the size of her face, "My last vacation was with my parents to Montana!"

Rey giggled. "That sounds like it was… fun?"

"We went to a dude ranch. You be the judge of that."

Rey considered it. "Well, cowboys and rugged blokes, yeah?" She ate another chip and hummed happily, "I imagine that was a pleasant sight. If only I was that lucky."

The shorter girl practically snorted. "Oh, please Rey, you are the _last_ person to sit here dreaming about rugged men."

"Sorry?" Rey looked genuinely confused.

That response didn't change after Rose rolled her eyes and ordered another round of drinks.

"You're kidding, right? Is this that British sarcasm Ricky Gervais is always talking about?" At Rey's look of confusion, Rose rolled her eyes and continued speaking, "Rey, you have like a gorgeous Navy SEAL at your beck and call if you would just like, I don't know, put your sex life first for once."

At the mention of Ben, Rey tensed.

She had been thinking a lot about him recently. She knew he would be returning to Denver soon, but she wasn't sure how long his most recent deployment was. She certainly wasn't going to ask Poe. He'd never let her live it down.

Rey couldn't stand him but that didn't mean she wasn't… worried about him.

She may hate Ben Solo, but she respected his career. She loved helping people, but she could never have joined the military.

"Ben is _not_ at my beck and call. We can't stand each other. Haven't been able to since I was nine years old," She sighed and took a gulp of her margarita, wishing there was more tequila in the slush to burn her throat on the way down, "So, no. No rugged men available."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Please. Whenever he's back, he's around you 24/7. I'd say he spends like ninety percent of his vacation with you."

"That's because I'm so close to his family! Not because either of us want to spend time together," Rey retorted, punctuating her words with another gulp of fruity slush, "I haven't seen him since Christmas." She ate a chip and mumbled, "And I guess when Poe skyped him with me in the kitchen in February. And then that time in March. And then that time on his birthday in April—"

Rose's mouth fell open. "Rey!"

She blinked. "What? I don't ask to talk to him! Poe purposely called with me around! I only said a few words! I was being polite."

Rose just laughed and shook her head. "God, you have a Harvard degree and a brain too big for that beautiful head of yours, and you just can't see it, can you?"

Rey frowned and took another gulp of her margarita. "Rose… Cut it out."

The Asian girl shrugged. "Look, seems to me you two have some raging sexual tension. Do me and yourself a favor hun—get laid in Miami. There will be plenty of college guys on summer vacation looking for a hot piece of ass."

Rey's nose crinkled in disgust. "A college boy? No thank you. I like men."

Rose smirked. "Well, then. I'm sure if you hang around Poe for long enough, he'll call one for you."

"Rose!"

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

The Lah'mu Miami Beach

A few days later, Rey found herself comfortably settled in the window seat of a flight, her nose buried in her latest, trashy romance novel. They were one of her guilty pleasures, something that she shared with not a soul—not Finn, not Rose, not even the stray cat that frequented the front of her building.

Besides, as she glanced at the front cover of that particular book, she felt a bubbling in her stomach. Only a broad, toned chest covered the front, naked sans a silver dog tag wrapped around his neck…

She sighed and shoved the book back into her purse. Enough of that. She was going to enjoy the four-hour flight, even though Finn and Poe had ditched her to go first class. As much as she loved her friends, she would not allow them to pay for everything, and she certainly wasn't spending triple the amount of money to sit with the rich people.

As much as she recognized that Poe and Finn were allowed to do whatever they pleased with their money, she would never understand their spending habits.

The same thought rang true hours later, when she stood in front of the Lah'mu Miami Beach, a gorgeous resort known for its stark white building and hundreds of ginormous windows. Rey was absolutely speechless when her two best friends led her to their floor and into a giant suite, decorated with a beautiful contemporary style that reminded her of reading a home furnishing magazine.

And the suite was simply astounding. Its large sitting room led into a gorgeous balcony that over looked the ocean, the blue water sparkling in the intense heat of the sun. The suite had its own small bar, as well as three identical bedrooms, all with large bathrooms featuring both a huge bathtub and showers big enough to fit ten people, along with an incredible view of the ocean.

Rey simply stood in the middle of the room, mouth agape. Finn and Poe were already over the splendor, the former pouring them wine, the latter on a business call. When Poe finally ended his call and led Rey to the couch, Finn joined the two and handed out the wine glasses.

She could only squeak.

"How—why—come on—this is insane!" She sputtered out, before taking a gulp of the wine, "You should not be spending this money on me!"

Finn rolled his eyes. "First of all, it's not just on you, it's also on us. Second of all, it's our money, and believe me Rey, if you saw the amount my grandfather left to me two years ago, you'd probably shit yourself." Finn sipped his wine and grinned, "Besides, I did say this was a birthday _and_ Christmas gift."

Rey just nodded weakly. "Why are we even sailing when there's this?!" She waved her hands frantically, "Did you see the bloody tub? I could learn to surf in there!"

Poe chuckled and kissed her cheek. "Hey, you surf in here or out there. We don't care. Just have some fun. That's all we want from you."

She took another gulp of wine. "Oh, I most certainly will! I can finally get a tan." She jumped to her feet and polished off the glass, earning a laugh from the pair, "In fact, I'm going to the pool now!"

After leaving the glass at the bar, she hurried into her assigned bedroom, humming a tune from a Beach Boys song. As soon as the men heard the door shut, they looked at each other.

"Well, she didn't ask about the third room. That's a good sign, right?" Poe asked, affectionately playing with his boyfriend's fingers, "Maybe we can just keep her drunk enough that she won't notice."

Finn chuckled and finished his own glass. "Oh, she'll notice. Things will be explosive but, hey, we can ditch them. I booked us a couples' spa tomorrow."

Poe grinned. "You, Finn Storm, are too perfect."

"I know."

-x-x-x-

Rey had spent her first day by the pool, alternating between listening to music, reading, and sleeping. Within hours her body was pleasantly buzzing from overpriced fruity drinks and the extremely hot Florida sun. And, she had been in damn good spirits too. Finn had helped her select a cute black bikini that accentuated her athletic figure, and she was rather pleased to admit that she had turned a few heads.

It did loads for her self-esteem, especially after the last guy she had been with tried to ruin her entire career.

But, back to the positives, the remainder of the day had been amazing. She had joined Finn and Poe for a delicious dinner of seafood at a local restaurant, and then the pair had walked along the beach, joking about their childhood and their futures.

The following day had been just as relaxing. Finn and Poe had spent the day together, leaving Rey to her volition. And boy did she enjoy the alone time. She started her morning with breakfast in bed, before a quick jog along the beach, followed by a few hours by the pool. Then, in the afternoon, she had treated herself to a facial, before visiting some of the glamorous shops in the city. And to wrap up the amazing day, she treated herself to one of the fancy restaurants in the hotel, feasting on incredible Cuban cuisine with a breath-taking view of the ocean.

After only thirty-six hours, she knew she was in paradise. She couldn't imagine how another almost week of this would affect her.

She might melt into nothingness.

But, as the night settled, and she found herself curled into the couch of the suite and sipping champagne, Finn and Poe returned from their day together. As Rey expected, both men looked incredibly relaxed, and held shopping bags for stores that Rey was sure she couldn't even afford to use the bathroom in.

And as they caught her up on their day, discussing their couples' spa session, and their subsequent shopping, and the excellent lobster they feasted on, Rey could tell something was… off.

Like they were hiding something from her.

It was the same level of discomfort she felt before both finally came clean about their relationship.

She studied them intensely, watching as they prepared themselves drinks at the bar. "Finn? Poe?"

Both turned to face her. "What's up, Peanut?" Finn asked first, his usual smile slightly strained.

"You two okay?" She asked hesitantly, selfishly hoping she wouldn't be spending the remainder of her holiday with a bickering couple, "You two seem a bit… off."

The couple glanced at each other, wordlessly speaking a romantic language that Rey had never had the pleasure of sharing with another person. As if taking the lead, Poe looked to Rey and smiled.

"We're great, Rey! Just way too relaxed after our day. We're going to hit the hay now so… We'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Rey raised an eyebrow but nodded.

She watched them disappear into their bedroom.

-x-x-x-

Ben wasn't at all surprised by the grandeur of the hotel Finn and Poe had selected. Just like the taste of his mother, and his very wealthy, curmudgeon grandfather Anakin, Poe had luxurious tastes. Ben suspected it was a side effect of his first years living in poverty—as soon as he was adopted by the Solos and experienced comfort and wealth, there was no going back.

Besides, the Solo family had never been ones to hold back on spending money. Every year while growing up, they went on two vacations, one during winter break and one during the summer, normally to faraway places that most people couldn't fathom. It was why twelve-year-old Ben could discuss the Moai statues on Easter Island while most of his friends had simply gone to Hawaii.

But, while Poe had taken after Leia, Ben had very much taken after Han. It was one thing that Ben could agree with his father on—he much preferred his down time to be spent watching a basketball game or driving on an open road, not gallivanting across castle ruins in Scotland or trekking along the Great Wall in China.

Both of which he had done during his youth.

And now, he found himself on vacation, ironically preparing to go sailing with his brother and his brother's boyfriend. Upon learning about the plans, Han had immediately been his asshole self and wanted to know why a Navy man was spending his vacation on a boat when he spent a significant amount of the year on one.

It was true. If any of the guys on his team found out about his vacation, they'd torment the living daylights out of him. But, aside from the fact that Ben simply couldn't say no to Poe and Finn's kind offer, he truly didn't mind being back on a ship.

They calmed him. And, it would be rather nice to enjoy the ocean water and get piss drunk instead of working on the ship.

He had landed in Miami in the late morning, and per Poe's instructions, had taken a cab to the hotel and picked up a key at the front desk. Apparently, Finn had signed the pair up for surfing lessons, and as much as Ben wanted to roll his eyes, he couldn't help but envy his brother's happiness.

So, only moments to noon, Ben had strolled into the suite, taking in every beautifully decorated spacious inch. And even though he had gotten quite used to an ocean view and a sea of palm trees from living in Coronado, the view from the suite still made him smile.

He dropped his leather duffel back to the ground, not used to such a light bag. He was planning on taking his usual, military-grade bag, but Leia had insisted on him bringing one of Han's suitcases. Just to appease his mother, he listened, able to stuff his few belongings, along with his emergency pack, a small bag of necessities Ben never left the house without.

He supposed that was a consequence of being in the military.

The paranoia.

Which also explained why Ben could feel another presence in the suite, even though Finn and Poe were gone.

"Hello?" He called out, wondering if he had missed the maid's cart upon entering.

And then, in slow motion, in a scene that had filled many of Ben's dreams _and_ nightmares, Rey Johnson strolled in from the hidden hallway within the suite, clad in just a white, terrycloth robe. Her soft, brown tresses framed her cherubic face, and he could already tell that every inch of her body had been well loved by the Florida sun.

Their reactions were virtually identical. They stared at one another, mouth agape, before quickly launching into the verbal sparring that had plagued their relationship since their meeting, so many years ago.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed out, her cheeks immediately tinting red, "No one even told me you were back in America!"

Ben scoffed and crossed his arms. "More like what are you doing here? My _brother_ invited me on vacation, you know, since I only have a few weeks a year of it."

Rey scowled. "Finn invited me! You're perfectly capable of spending your holiday doing whatever it is that you do!"

He narrowed his eyes. "Don't you have a job? One that your big, fancy degree from Harvard helped you land?"

"I'm taking a holiday! Which I am perfectly entitled to as my own boss!" She seethed back, before taking a step forward, "You, however, should be spending time with your mother, not invading my sanctuary!"

He crossed his arms and glanced down at the brunette, as always, stunned by how tiny she was compared to him. "Well, this is fucking great. I finally get a real vacation and it's going to be wasted listening to you whine about yoga and your cushy job."

She growled and stomped her foot, looking adorably like a child. "And now I have to deal with your moody, shite attitude! All you do is grump around!"

He muttered to himself and strolled over to the bar. "Fuck, I need a drink."

He was quick to pour himself a generous glass of whiskey, a habit that his grandfather had gotten him into. He took a quick gulp and grumbled, not daring himself to look over his shoulder, to meet the likely angry gaze of the spitfire in front of him.

Ben hadn't seen Rey in seven months. He had gotten glances of her while Skyping Poe. He had heard bits of her laughing, or the tail end of something she'd say to his brother. But he hadn't truly seen or spoken to her since January, the last time he had been in Denver.

But he didn't talk about last Christmas. He just… Couldn't.

He would make himself sick if he did.

Rey's voice knocked him out of his glum thoughts.

"Look," She began, her voice already tired, "Finn and Poe went out of their way to bring me along and I don't want to ruin their romantic getaway. So, let's just…" She let out a terse breath and began to pull at her loose strands, "Try to get along, okay?"

He stopped studying the dark liquid in his glass and glanced back to the woman, momentarily distracted by just how ridiculous she looked in that big, white robe.

He took a gulp of drink.

"Yeah. You're the one who verbally attacked me when I walked in."

Rey blinked. "Oh, please! And you weren't surprised to see me? What did you expect me to say?"

Ben shrugged and dropped to the plush sofa. "Sure, I was surprised to see you, but my job involves a lot of surprises, mainly finding people in places that they aren't meant to be," He yawned and stretched, "But that's what guns and training are for."

He glanced back at the woman, noticing the way her form locked up. Clearly that hadn't been the right thing to say.

She swallowed and glanced away. "Right. I—" She stopped and looked down, "I didn't mean—"

"Don't." Ben was quick to interject, knowing where she was going, "I'm really sick of people treating me like they need sensitivity training to talk about my job. The same way you go to work from nine to five every day? I do the same thing. Sure, I need a lot more training, and a gun, and normally work out of outposts in parts of the Middle East, but we're doing the same thing."

She flushed and just nodded, staring at the man. "We are _not_ doing the same thing, Ben."

He smirked. "Mhm. I guess so. I didn't need to get into Harvard to do my job."

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you making fun of me?"

"Never, Scavenger, never."

That pissed her off. Her nostrils flared as she stepped forward. "Don't call me that!" She hissed out, her fists waving angrily.

Oh, Ben _loved_ calling her Scavenger. He had coined the nickname when they were 13 years old, after Rey had been dared by Poe to dumpster dive. While he and his brother were scandalized by the thought of swimming with trash, Rey was eager to jump in, even excitedly pulling out a rocket ship shaped lamp and a Charizard card.

Since then, he had called her Scavenger whenever he could, loving to see her face turn red and ready to hear whatever hatred would spew from her lips.

Maybe he was a masochist.

"You scavenge that robe from the closet?"

Rey was charging towards him when the door flew open, and two sets of footsteps strolled inside. Poe and Finn took one look at the arguing pair and just smiled.

"Well, some things never change," Poe quipped, grinning from ear to ear.

Finn laughed and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend, "You think we can take the kids to lunch?"

Poe glanced at Ben, who was nonchalantly refilling his whiskey glass, to Rey, who had red cheeks and angry eyes. Before he could open his mouth, Rey grabbed the bottle from Ben, took a gulp, and stormed back down the hallway. He looked at Finn.

"Maybe not."

Finn sighed. "This is why we can't have nice things."

-x-x-x-

 _January 2006_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Tatooine High School_

" _Oh my god. You're joking, right?"_

 _The room had been quiet, but now an eerie silence claimed the artificially warm room, enough so that when Kaydel Connix knocked her pencil off her desk, everyone literally tensed._

 _Rey audibly cleared her throat and turned in her desk, of course located in the front row, and glared at Ben Solo. He was lounging in a back desk, wearing his basketball jersey and a pair of sweats, as if he had no cares in the world._

 _She had just given a passionate but concise response to their English teacher, Mr. Abrams, who had asked a rather interesting question: What do you think is the most influential text ever written?_

 _Well, Rey was obviously the first to raise her hand, and after considering "The Iliad", "Animal Farm", and "War and Peace", settled on her personal favorite, "1984". Easily one of the best and most relevant novels of the twentieth century, Rey had made some delightful arguments about censorship and truth that had most of her classmates and Mr. Abrams smiling and nodding their head._

 _That was, of course, until Ben Solo's stupid voice had reverberated through the classroom._

" _Am I joking?" Rey retorted, her features turning into a scowl, "Of course not. Did you even read '1984' or did you pester your brother for summaries?"_

 _Ben rolled his eyes. "Yes. I read '1984'."_

" _Then how could you disagree?" She spat back, her eyes swimming in anger._

 _Sure, like most people, Rey hated to be contradicted._

 _But when she was contradicted by Ben Solo?_

 _Well, as most of the student body and school staff knew, it was never a pretty sight._

" _First of all," Ben began, bored by his own voice, "Our buddy Jeff was clearly looking for a variety of opinions." He yawned and raised an eyebrow at Rey, "Leave it to you to be offended by my disagreement."_

 _She growled. "I am not offended!" She hissed out, before realizing her own tone. She swallowed and took a deep breath, "Alright, Benjamin, what would your answer be?"_

 _Ben smirked and shrugged. "I dunno. But certainly not a text that was only written like, fifty years ago, that has influenced only the most recent generations. I'm thinking The Bible, or The Republic, works that have created nations, started and ended wars…" He leaned back in his desk, a smug smirk across his plump lips, "But that's just my humble opinion."_

 _Rey seethed, beyond irritated by his arrogance, even if his points weren't wrong. "Modern man has made some of the most incredibly accomplishments in the last fifty years, including racial equality, equality for the sexes, and commercial aviation. Our history is centered on life post-World War II—"_

 _He yawned and ran a hand through his hair. "Boring! So, we can fly airplanes now. Who cares? What about the Crusades? We're still living through a religious war as it is!"_

" _Right now, the concepts discussed in "1984" are more relevant than what thou shall and shall not do to thy neighbor! Half of the things said in the bible are not relevant—you know there are verses decrying eating pork and shaving your beard, not to mention the blatant homophobia and sexism!"_

" _This argument isn't about if what the bible says is right or wrong, Rey. It's about what's influential and what's not—"_

" _All of Orwell's works should not be approached just at face value—"_

" _This is just your own esoteric way of trying to seem smart by not giving the obvious answer—"_

" _As if you, someone who cares more about shooting a basketball than literature, knows a damn thing about—"_

" _Oh, so now you insult me? Rey, do you even know how to argue—"_

" _I'm the captain of the debate team you arse—"_

" _ENOUGH!"_

 _The loud bellow of their English teacher knocked them out of their argument and immediately had them facing forward. Ben had rolled his eyes and slinked deeper into his desk, his eyes set on the snowy outside of the classroom. Rey was biting her lip furiously, desperate not to say another word, her cheeks red from their verbal sparring._

 _Mr. Abrams took a terse breath. He never raised his voice, so the class was more than a little surprised by his outburst. He cleared his throat._

" _Rey, Ben, I wouldn't have cared if your answer was 'Goodnight Moon' or 'Green Eggs and Ham' as long as you made a reasonable argument. What I won't tolerate is close-mindedness and disrespect during what's supposed to be an intellectual discussion." He glanced at Ben, "And if I hear you call me Jeff again, don't think I won't march my way down to talk to Coach Maul." He looked at Rey, "And if I ever hear you call someone an ass, I will have to give you detention."_

 _And then Mr. Abrams was back at the blackboard, giving his own opinions on the questions. With his back to the class, Rey turned around and glared at Ben. The boy simply smirked and blew her a kiss, before beginning to doodle on his journal._

 _Rey hated Ben Solo. She really, truly did._


	4. Team Lucas

_May 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Tatooine High School_

 _Rey dashed along the familiar hallways, her backpack bouncing up and down along backside of her body. Even though her sweatshirt had a motor oil stain along the left arm, and her nails were chipped and dry, and her hair could have used a good wash instead of the messy bun she had tied it in, and her uniform's skirt was definitely one semester past its prime, Rey felt like a million bucks._

 _Like she was on top of the world._

 _That weekend, she had officially accepted her scholarship to Harvard, and had spent the past few days in bed, dreaming of the upcoming four years. Of the gorgeous halls, the wonderful professors, the new city to explore, and her entire life in front of her._

 _But, those dreams were a few months away. Currently, the only thing on her mind was the five pages of neatly typed words clutched in her hands. She had stayed up until two in the morning the previous night, determined to present Mr. Abrams with only the best work of hers._

 _Because within her hand she held the final message she'd send to her classmates. Not only was Rey named Valedictorian, but along with her position as class president, Principal Kenobi selected her to give the class speech at graduation._

 _Her. Rey Johnson. The orphan from London._

 _She and Mr. Abrams, her beloved English teacher and their class sponsor, had selected that afternoon to go over the speech. Rey was practically giddy, dreaming of the ceremony and the freedom of post-grad that was only mere weeks away._

 _Yet, as she stepped into the familiar classroom, she immediately knew something was wrong. Her usually cheery Mr. Abrams, the same man who would read Shakespeare while throwing candy at students stood solemnly by the chalkboard, watching the door, seemingly waiting for Rey's arrival._

 _She frowned. "Mr. Abrams? Is this a bad time? Should I come back tomorrow?"_

 _Her teacher lifted his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. He sighed. "No, no, take a seat. I…" He frowned and adjusted his tie, "There's been a change in plans."_

 _Rey frowned and tentatively approached the man, desperately trying to get her heart to calm down. "A change in plans?"_

 _Mr. Abrams nodded. "Well, if you recall, Mr. Kenobi was having a difficult time getting someone to give the commencement address." He studied Rey, a frown dancing on his lips, "Until Leia Solo stepped in. She was able to get Ahsoka Tano to address you guys."_

 _Rey gasped, immediately recognizing the name. "The Governor is speaking?"_

" _Yes. It's great. A fascinating speaker."_

 _She frowned. "Well, what's the big deal about Governor Tano speaking?"_

 _Mr. Abrams sighed. "Well, Mr. Kenobi thinks given Senator Solo's contributions that…" He frowned and dropped his gaze to the ground, unable to face the eager girl, "Look, Rey, you know how he is. He wants our ceremony to make state headlines. He already has the Governor speaking. What better way to attract press than to put Senator Solo's son up there?"_

 _Rey felt the blood in her veins turn to ice. "What?" She managed to croak out, her voice wavering._

" _Well… You know, with Ben getting that Gatorade award with ESPN, and his post-graduation plans, and the team winning the State Championship, Mr. Kenobi just thinks—"_

 _Rey held up her hand, aware of the tears streaming down her cheeks. "What are you telling me? That I don't get to give my graduation speech because Ben Solo fucking plays basketball?"_

 _Mr. Abrams frowned. "You know how politics are, Rey. It wasn't up to me. I know you deserve this—"_

" _But it doesn't matter what I deserve!" She choked out, wiping at her cheeks with the ends of her sweatshirt, "It doesn't matter what I do! It always comes back to Ben fucking Solo!"_

" _Rey, I—"_

 _She shook her head and rushed out, thanking the heavens that with the school day over, the hallways were virtually empty. At the first trash can, she crumbled up the speech and slammed it inside, before continuing her sprint towards the exits. Furious sobs begged for release as the tears continued, the waterworks blurring her vision._

 _So much so that she didn't notice the human brick wall before she slammed into it._

 _She staggered back, before two strong hands gripped her sides. At the sight of the worried brown eyes, she let out another cry. Ben frowned, noticing her tears. He swallowed._

" _Rey, look. Mr. Kenobi just called me into his office and I had nothing to do with—"_

 _She let out a cry and shoved him, shaking her head frantically. "Shut up! Just shut up! You never do anything! You're just so bloody perfect all the fucking time!"_

 _Ben frowned. "Rey, you never give me a chance—"_

 _Rey let out another sob and backed away, her hands back to shoving the droplets away from her raw cheeks. "Just stop it. Please." She hiccupped and met his concerned gaze, "I can't wait to go off to college. If I'm lucky, I'll never have to see your stupid face again."_

 _And then she was gone, working on pure muscle memory to find the beat-up truck Chewie had gifted her on her 16_ _th_ _birthday._

 _She hated Ben Solo._

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

The Lah'mu Miami Beach

"What were you thinking?" Rey hissed out, the minute Poe and Finn strolled into the kitchen, sleep still etched across their features.

She had barely gotten a wink of sleep the night before, tossing and turning with the thoughts of a vacation ruined. Of a Benjamin Solo only mere feet away, sleeping peacefully, for once not in danger—

Rey tensed and distracted herself with the breakfast cart that a hotel employment had brought down only a few minutes previously. Finn rolled his eyes and began to prepare himself a cup of coffee.

"Can we get some caffeine in our systems before you start attacking us?" Poe asked, before chomping into a piece of toast, "He is my brother."

She scowled. "Look, I don't want to be a brat, since I know this trip is a gift—"

"You're already being a brat," Finn was quick to point out, adding a spoonful of sugar to his coffee, "Be careful with your words, Peanut."

"I appreciate this, okay? I just…" She frowned and clasped her mug tightly between her fingers, her teeth digging into her bottom lip, "You know we don't get along."

Poe licked his fingers and dropped onto one of the plushy chairs. "Look, Rey, we didn't intend to invite both of you. Finn and I were…" He glanced at his boyfriend and smirked, "Distracted, and mistakenly invited you both."

He squeezed his boyfriend's thigh and gave Rey a look, "But, frankly, you two are just going to have to get along. This is Ben's only vacation time. Please don't make him miserable. His job is straining enough as it is."

She sighed and sipped her coffee. She just nodded. "I'll try."

Her voice felt small. Rey hated feeling small.

"Where is Ben?" Finn asked, glancing around the common area, "Is he still asleep?"

Poe snorted. "With his body clock? Unlikely."

As if on cue, the door to the suite popped open, and Ben strolled in, clad in a pair of Navy shorts and a Colorado Rockies t-shirt. He held his sneakers in his hands, and sand coated his feet and very muscular calves. A thin layer of sweat covered every inch of exposed skin, even locking down his somehow unruly short hair.

Rey cleared her throat, her face suddenly hot. She couldn't help but notice just how… big he was.

"Jesus, Ben, it's eight!" Poe remarked, before opening one of the dishes and retrieving a plate with eggs benedict on it, "How long have you been up?"

Ben shrugged and set his shoes down. "I woke up at 6."

"You're on vacation," Finn reminded him, a worried look on his features, "You should relax."

Ben snorted. "Relax? Yeah, okay." He brought his shirt up to his face, wiping away the sweat, an action that Rey couldn't help but watch, "I normally wake up at 5:15, so, I did sleep in. Besides, I like running on the beach."

Poe ate a forkful of eggs. "You know, Rey likes running on the beach too."

That had the woman coughing. "Poe." She gave him a dirty look.

Ben smirked. "Yeah? Scavenger does? I took you for the yoga type."

She narrowed her eyes. "You keep saying that. Why is that?"

He shrugged. "Always thought you were a bit fragile, that's all."

"I am not fragile."

The two glared at each other, only broken when Rey took a ravenous bite of toast. She looked away and crossed her arms. Finn laughed, hoping to break the tension.

She did do yoga. But she was _not_ fragile.

She took Krav Maga classes every other Sunday.

She was tough. She didn't even carry around pepper spray anymore.

"Well, we have breakfast. I think Poe ordered enough to feed a small village." Finn began, smiling at his boyfriend, "And then we had some fun stuff planned for today."

Ben nodded. "Thanks. I'll take a quick shower and be back out."

He moved down the hallway, Rey's eyes locked on his disappearing form. She growled. "Really, Poe? 'Rey runs too'?"

He shrugged. "I just thought it could be a bonding experience."

"First of all, I have no interest in running with your brother. Second of all, I'll do max, three miles. I'm sure your brother just ran a mini marathon for fun."

Finn smirked. "You didn't seem to mind based on the looks you were giving him."

Rey coughed on the mouthful of coffee she had just generously sipped. "Excuse me?" She squeaked out, as soon as the warm liquid slid down her throat, "What in the bloody hell are you going on about?"

Poe and Finn exchanged looks, grinning. Finn simply shrugged and went back to his omelet. "A Harvard degree and still as clueless as ever."

"Look, lover boys," She leaned closer to her friends, narrowing her eyes, "I don't know what you're getting at, but I hate Ben and will—"

And again, as if on cue, Ben strolled back in, freshly washed, his dark hair damp on his head. He had slipped into a pair of low-rise sweat pants, although his shirt was nowhere to be seen.

The words died in Rey's throat. She coughed and took a sip of her coffee. "How in god's name can you bathe that quickly?"

Ben blinked and sat beside Poe, quickly moving to examine the food on the cart. "You have two minutes to shower in basic training. It's all you need."

Rey coughed and looked away, her cheeks reddening. "You mind putting some clothes on, maybe?"

He looked down at his chest and shrugged. "It's a free country." And then he was filling his plate with exactly the type of food Rey would expect. She watched as he alternated between shoveling eggs, hash browns, and sausage into his mouth.

"Fine. Maybe I'll start wandering around shirtless too." She retorted, sipping her coffee, her eyes locked on the man, "Would you still say it's a free country then?"

Ben set his fork down and looked to Rey. "Look, Scavenger, if you want to walk around topless, no one is going to stop you." He sipped his coffee and went back to eating, "But if this is where you lead me into an argument about freeing women's nipples, I'm not in the mood."

She crossed her arms. "Since when have you not been in the mood to fight, Ben Solo?"

He studied the brunette in front of him. With a shrug, he ate another forkful. "Maybe I'm just getting old."

She frowned and went back to eating, studying her plate. The rest of breakfast was finished in silence.

-x-x-x- _  
_

July 2018

Miami, Florida

Marlins Park

After breakfast, Rey and Finn joined a yoga class on the beach (and yes, Ben had made a snide remark about her appreciation for the exercise) while Poe and Ben did some brotherly bonding activity that Rey didn't bother to inquire about. In all the time she had known Ben Solo, the man only had four ways he spent his time: eating, exercising, arguing, and sulking.

She wondered which of the four Ben-isms Poe had joined for.

At any rate, the morning had been lovely, and Rey enjoyed spending time with just Finn. She loved Poe to death, but when the three of them were together, Rey always felt like the third wheel. Her best friends tried desperately to always make her feel welcome, but when they cuddled during movies, shared intimate touches on long walks, and eye-fucked over the dinner table, there wasn't much room for Rey.

But, their afternoon activity was surely going to be more inclusive. Poe had bought tickets for the group to see a Marlins game. She suspected this was specifically for the two brothers to bond, as both had grown up with Han having season tickets to see the Rockies play. And given that the Marlins were playing the Rockies in Miami, it seemed like a no-brainer.

That's how Rey, the British orphan, ended up strolling into Marlins Park, sandwiched between two overly-stylish gay man and a sulking Navy SEAL. Poe and Finn looked the epitome of 'rich men on vacation', clad in light-colored, perfectly pressed shorts, paired with dark button-down tops. Finn was sporting the Rockies' purple, where Poe was suited in a pleasant navy.

And where Poe's styling habits had taken after the glamorous Leia Solo, Ben's certainly did not. Just like Han, he was sporting a pair of ratty jeans and the same Rockies' t-shirt from earlier, probably at least a decade old if Rey had to guess based on the fading purple shade. He was sporting a Navy ballcap, and to Rey's chagrin, actually looked… normal.

She had fallen behind the trio of men, comfortable in a pair of jean shorts and a white tank top, her long hair tied into a loose braid. She was hoping to buy herself a hat at the game, as well as a little something for Chewie. Like Han, he was devoted to the Colorado sports teams. Rey rarely remembered a moment in their home that didn't have a Rockies, Broncos, Nuggets, or Avalanche game on television.

It was a far cry from the glimpses of football on the telly she used to see through windows of pubs back in London.

Excuse her. _Soccer_.

As she ran through possible souvenirs to bring back to Chewie, Poe's voice brought her back to reality. She looked over to the man, noticing that Finn and Ben were at least ten feet ahead, engaged in what sounded like a conversation about Poe and Ben's eccentric Uncle Luke. She looked at Poe.

"What's up?"

Poe smirked and grabbed her wrist, slowing her down ever farther, lengthening the gap between them and Finn and Ben. "So. I wanted to tell you this because I figured you'd appreciate this more than Ben."

Rey blinked. "Appreciate what?"

"I called ahead and arranged for Finn and me to be on the Kiss Cam!" He grinned and started moving back at a normal pace, "It's incredible what you can do for a bit of money! If you throw money at their foundation, they'll put whatever you want on the big screen."

Rey sighed, her heart twitching uncomfortably. Everyone was so bloody happy and in love.

Except for her.

She smiled at Poe. "That's so sweet, Poe. When's the cam coming on?"

He grinned. "As long as there isn't any huge delay in the game, the middle of the fourth."

"You are too romantic for your own good." Rey sighed again, wondering if she'd ever meet a romantic man.

Poe chuckled. "Well, I had to get my man somehow, didn't I?"

-x-x-x-

Well, in retrospect, Rey should have known allowing the men to go to their seats while she surfed the gift shop for an item for Chewie would eventually come back to bite her in the ass. The problem was, Poe and Finn knew damn well that Rey would take thirty minutes to complete a task that likely only required five. So, the couple and Ben had run along, leaving Rey to her own devices, a solid half-hour until the game was meant to start.

Clearly, they had made the right decision, as Rey strolled to their seats at the middle of the first inning. She had spent twenty minutes deciding between two hats, eventually deciding on a pretty white one with the Miami 'M', and was already sporting the cap. But, for Chewie, she was torn between a little bat, a shirt, a hat, a pint glass, a ball—

Yeah, she had a bit of a problem, really. After finally settling on the little bat, she made it to their seats, and was less than pleased to find herself at the end, forced to sit next to a one Ben Solo. The oaf of a man was sitting beside Poe, already complaining about the performance of the Marlins' starting pitcher. Rey glanced to the side of Poe, watching Finn already busy on his cell phone.

Who the hell was Rey supposed to talk to when sandwiched between Ben Solo and a nine-year-old girl whining about wanting a hot dog?

As expected, Rey and Ben didn't talk.

Sure, they argued, but they certainly didn't talk. They argued when Ben brought up Rey getting hit in the face with a softball during their sophomore year gym class. They argued when Rey took a gulp of Ben's beer without asking. They argued when Ben pulled her braid. They argued when Rey said baseball was boring.

To put it nicely, Rey and Ben behaved exactly how everyone expected them to.

And then the top of the fourth inning ended, Ben cursing when the shortstop for the Rockies' struck out to end the inning, leaving two men on base. As soon as the players had cleared the field, the public announcer was quick to introduce the Kiss Cam (courtesy of some lipstick company that Rey was embarrassed to admit she now wanted to try), the big screen now flipping through footage of happy couples.

Rey glanced over at Poe, grinning. He was waiting expectantly, casually fixing his hair. Finn was reading the schedule plastered to the back of the souvenir soda he was drinking.

Suddenly, Poe's face appeared on the big screen. She let out a squeal.

Which promptly died in her throat.

The camera, which clearly held Poe in the frame, included not Finn, but Ben. Ben, who had been finishing off his second beer, was forced to glance up at the big screen after Rey so graciously shoved her elbow into his side. He cursed and looked at the screen before looking at Poe.

"Oh, come on!" Poe hissed, moving his hands as to instruct the camera to shift over, "I was explicitly clear with my directions! This is my brother!"

Ben rubbed at his face and mumbled to himself, refusing to look at the screen as Poe continued his frantic hand movements, trying to explain to the faraway camera operator to shift his view. Of course, the screaming and disappointed crowd wasn't helping.

Ironically, the camera did finally shift, but of course now cut Poe out of the frame, and instead focused on Rey and Ben. She looked from the big screen to Ben, her mouth agape.

Poe let out a frustrated growl. "OH, COME ON!"

Ben glanced at the screen and then to Rey, his face unreadable. She was rarely ever able to interpret a look from Ben Solo. Now, in the Miami sunlight, his eyes buried beneath a ballcap, she was just as blind.

Desperate chants of "KISS HER! KISS HER!" continued to filter through the stadium. Rey swallowed and shifted in her seat, for once not enjoying being the center of attention. She let her eyes drop to Ben's lips.

His plump, pink lips…

She swallowed and considered the possibility. Could she kiss Ben Solo? Sure, she hated him, and sure, he was her best friend's brother, but hey, she was on a Kiss Cam! Not to mention, the dude just got back from serving overseas. He couldn't have been getting that much action.

Obviously, she'd be doing him a favor.

Rey cleared her throat and leaned in. "You going to kiss me, Ben Solo? We wouldn't want to let these people down, would we?"

She watched his erratic intake of breath. She watched the way his eyes dropped to her lips. She watched the way his fingers dug into the denim covering his knees.

And she watched him jump to his feet, moving out of their section and back to the concourse, the chants of the crowd dying with his departure.

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

Chez Artoo

Rey was so bloody furious, so bloody mortified, that she was barely comprehending any of Poe's words over dinner. The game had finished in an uncomfortable silence, Ben returning by the top of the fifth, arms full of pretzels for the group as if the Kiss Cam had never happened.

But she remembered.

She would _not_ forget.

"You know, my directions were explicit! I would be wearing navy and the cam was to land on the African-American man next to me!" Poe groaned and took a gulp of his wine, "$300 dollars to their foundation and they don't seem to notice than Ben is probably the whitest thing since Wonder Bread?"

Finn chuckled and kissed his hand. "I appreciate the thought, Poe. And the money went to a good cause." He glanced over to Rey, "How's your food, Penaut?"

But Rey wasn't paying close enough attention to listen. She was too busy staring daggers into Ben Solo's face. As expected, the man was too entranced by his food, choosing to watch the noodles in his bowl rather than the people around him.

Finn glanced at Poe and using their silent communication than normally drove Rey nuts, they rose to their feet. Poe grabbed Finn's hand and kissed it.

"Finn and I are going to take a stroll along the water. If the waiter comes back, tell him to bring out dessert!"

Rey finally glanced at the men, watching as the couple disappeared. She scoffed and threw her back against her chair.

It figured. Here she was, sitting at one of the nicest, most romantic restaurants she had ever had the privilege to eat at, basically alone. The tables were placed in the sand, overlooking the glittering Atlantic, torches giving the area a pleasant glow as the customers wined and dined.

And instead of eating with her best friends, or with a boyfriend, she was eating with Ben Solo.

She growled.

"You know," She finally began, pausing her words to take a gulp of wine, "Finn and Poe were begging me to get along with you. I know this is like your only break during the year. I know your job is insanely difficult. And even though I don't respect you, I do respect your career."

Ben glanced up from his food and settled in his chair. He crossed his arms. "Thanks."

She narrowed her eyes. "That! That is exactly what I was getting out. I find it so difficult to treat you like a normal human being when you're just such a…. such a…"

Ben sighed and rubbed at his eyes, clearly tired. "Asshole. Dickhead. Raging lunatic. Big-boned jockstrap. Or, more personal favorite out of your mouth, 'Nathan Scott before he became a nice guy'".

Rey scoffed and crossed her arms. She had gone through a _One Tree Hill_ phase in high school too. "Because before he fell in love and was redeemed, he was a raging pile of asshole."

"Personally, I think I identified a bit more with Lucas, but whatever you say, Scavenger."

She gawked. "Okay, this wasn't meant to be a conversation about _One Tree Hill_. I can't believe you watched it."

He took a sip of his beer. "Rey, I have a gay brother. What the hell do you think we were watching?"

She shook her head and sat up. "This is beside the point. You embarrassed the hell out of me earlier today!" She leaned forward and pushed her finger into his chest, "Do you have any of idea what that felt like?"

Ben studied her, his features partially hidden by the shadows of the moonlight. His fingertips danced in the condensation on his glass as his tongue mimicked the movement across his bottom lip. He glanced away and cleared his throat.

"Yeah. Maybe I do."

She scoffed and crossed her eyes. "At least thirty-thousand people watched me lean into you all for you to jump up and run out liked a scared little boy?"

That got him to growl. He leaned forward, his eyes dancing dangerously in the candlelight. "We don't get along Rey, remember? You hate me. You've told me many times. So, forgive me for having no interest in kissing you."

He brought his beer to his lips and finished the liquid in another pull. As he slammed the glass back down, he sat up, his gaze still locked on her.

"It's not like you actually wanted to kiss me. It was just typical Rey Johnson, getting caught up in the spotlight."

She growled. "Excuse me?! Getting caught up in the spotlight? Are you bloody mad?"

He rolled his eyes and waved down a waiter, pointing at his glass in the universal gesture. "No. Perfectly sane. I get tested pretty frequently or else I wouldn't be able to work."

The beer was quick to land on the table. He took another gulp and kept talking. "You've always lived for attention being on you. That's why you were always first to raise your hand in class and first to volunteer for everything. It's why you picked activities that required attention and personal gratification, like being class president. It's why you decided to go to best school in the country, simply so everyone could say, 'oh, wow, Rey went to Harvard!'"

He shook his head and somehow finished the new beer in another two gulps. "It's the same reason you threw a hissy fit when I gave the graduation speech. It's the same reason you had to start your own company instead of just working like a normal person. And it's certainly the same reason you needed to be kissed on the fucking big screen."

Rey jumped to her feet, her fists shaking. She glared at the man. "You know nothing, Ben Solo!" She hissed out, her voice rough, "I have no interest in being in the spotlight! And if there's anyone who constantly requires attention and personal gratification, it's you!"

She grabbed her purse and began to frantically shove her arms into the light shawl she brought. "All the awards, and the attention, and now the downright devotion because you're serving. Ben Solo is a fucking _saint_." She shook her head and glared at him, "This was a mistake. Maybe I'll just fly home early."

Ben rose to his feet and stared down at her, his large figure now looming over hers. And while Rey was terrible at reading Ben, she couldn't help but feel there was something unspoken twinkling behind those brown eyes.

"Don't bother," His voice was much quieter than she expected, "I'm far better at leaving than you are."

And then he was gone, leaving her to stand by the table, ignoring the approaching inquiries from Poe and Finn.

-x-x-x-

 _June 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Storm Residences_

 _At least a hundred teenagers, some Rey recognized, some she did not, filled Finn's gorgeous home and back yard. The Tatooine High School seniors had graduated the previous week, meaning inhibitions were low and the volume was high._

 _And the place was a mess already. Finn's older cousin had purchased liquor for the party, and with his parents off on some business trip to Europe, the large home was at the beck and call of the seventeen- and eighteen-year-old population in their small community. With Poe's help, the two had set up a large bond fire in the back, helping to distill the scent of liquor and sweat with smoke._

 _Rey was on cloud nine. All the stresses of high school were over, including the graduation ceremony that still hurt her chest to think about. She knew that thirty years from now, who spoke at graduation would mean nothing. But at the present, for 17-year-old Rey, that privilege was the defining moment for all her hard work._

 _It was her way to stand in front of her peers and say "look at me! I succeeded when I came from nothing!"_

 _But graduation was over. In just eight weeks she'd be packing her bags and flying to Boston, ready to start a new journey. In fact, in just three weeks she'd be flying out for her orientation._

 _She was already giddy thinking about the trip._

 _But this evening was a pleasant way for her to say goodbye. Her closest friends—Finn and Poe—she knew she'd see over the summer. But for the handful of other students she was friendly with, she had no interest in hanging out with them before leaving. During this party, she could finally say her goodbyes._

 _Rey stumbled over to Finn and leaned into his warm form, giggling. She was two beers in and delighted to finally, for the first time in her short life, let loose. He chuckled._

" _Well, is my Rey finally having a bit of fun?" He teased, before taking a sip from his own beer._

 _She snorted and shoved him gently. "Please! I'm always having fun!"_

 _He rolled his eyes. "Rey, sweetie, you did three things in high school. Work, study, and hate Ben Solo."_

 _At the name, Rey tensed._

 _Ben…_

 _The older Solo son had been the talk of the town since May. Sure, his stellar performance on the basketball court, his Senator mother, and his speech at graduation increased conversation. But it was his post-graduation choices that had everyone whispering._

 _Because to everyone's shock, especially Han and Leia, Ben was not going off to school to play basketball, despite numerous offers ranging from the local Denver University, where Poe and Finn would be attending, all the way to the likes of Duke and Florida State._

 _In fact, Ben wasn't even going to college. He had surprised everyone when he announced his desire to enlist in the Navy and become a SEAL. His parents were initially open to the suggestion—_ _ **if**_ _he had considered the Naval Academy in Annapolis._

 _But Ben was adamant. He wanted to enter as soon as he graduated. To put it politely, the community could not imagine that one of their greatest and most decorated athletes, the child of a Senator and an incredible businessman would do something so… physically rigorous._

 _And dangerous._

 _Rey swallowed and swayed sideways._

 _She was trying not to think about Ben's career plans. It always made her feel…_

 _Well she couldn't put a word on it and she wouldn't consider why that was._

 _At any rate, Ben would be heading to Illinois for SEAL Prep School at the start of July. And with Finn and Poe attending school locally, and her own move to Boston, she couldn't swallow just how much her life was changing. The small community she had gotten to know wasn't so small anymore._

 _Rey rested her head on Finn's shoulder and sighed. "I was all excited to graduate and to leave and to never look back but…" she sniffled and looked at her best friend, her eyes watering, "Suddenly, I'm not so excited. I'm scared."_

 _Finn smiled softly and kissed her head. "It's okay to be. We all are. And I'm going to miss you so much."_

" _Thanksgiving?" She choked out._

 _He laughed and nodded. "Thanksgiving."_

 _Finn gave her another small hug before hurrying off to yell at a few of his guests, leaving Rey to glance around the backyard. She grabbed another beer and dropped to one of the wooden lawn chairs, admiring the stars and the clear blue skies._

 _And then she sensed him. She dropped her gaze from the sky and met the standing form of Ben Solo. He hadn't changed much over the almost ten years she knew him. He had gotten taller. But he was still lanky, albeit with some muscle underneath his pale skin. Currently, he was wearing a pair of jeans and an open flannel shirt that had Rey's throat tightening up._

 _She swallowed. "Ben."_

 _He shoved his hands in his pockets and studied the girl, shifting his balance every few moments. After a few seconds, he took a deep breath. "Could we talk later?"_

 _She sipped her beer and raised an eyebrow. "Talk about what?"_

 _Ben licked his lips and continued his anxious movements. He coughed softly and brought a hand to his neck, rubbing at the skin below his hair line. "I just uh… I wanted to chat about some stuff before we went our separate ways."_

 _Rey blinked a few times. "Um. Right. Is this about Finn and Poe?"_

 _She had her suspicions about his brother and her best friend. She wondered if he did as well._

 _Ben made a face. "Oh… Um…" He looked down and sighed, "Sure, yeah, it's about Poe and Finn. Can we just…" He ran a shaky hand through his hair and glanced at his watch, "Midnight. Can you meet me in the gazebo at midnight?"_

 _Rey finished her beer and hiccupped. "Um, okay Solo. Way to be weird. But if you insist."_

 _Ben swallowed and nodded. He watched her for a few moments more before realizing his actions. He coughed and quickly rushed back towards the crowd of teens._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _Rey and Ben never had that conversation. Within the hour, Poe had gotten her involved in a shot contest with her Student Council Vice President and Senior Prom date Lando Calrissian. With all the tequila running through her veins, and the stress of high school flushing away, it was no surprise that she did end up in that gazebo, closing in on midnight._

 _Except she wasn't alone. She was entangled in Lando's arms, straddling his lap, enjoying his skilled kisses and gentle caresses of her stomach and back. Lando had been her first kiss during her sophomore year of high school—they weren't ever really a thing, but occasionally they did make out._

 _And those ministrations were enough to distract her from the shadowed figure approaching the beautiful wooden structure at exactly midnight. She didn't notice his presence._

 _So, it wasn't a surprise that she didn't notice his harsh intake of breath or the look of pain that took over his handsome features._

 _She didn't notice when he disappeared._


	5. The Trouble with Tequila

_July 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Denver International Airport_

 _He noticed her absence. Especially when everyone he cared about surrounded him outside of the TSA checkpoint, a ticket to O'Hare stuffed in his back pocket. His mother was crying. His father was composed. Poe was begging for updates. Even Finn had tagged along. And Chewie would certainly never miss his departure._

" _Tell me again!" Leia cried out, taking Ben's face between her hands, "What's the schedule?"_

 _Ben sighed and looked away, ignoring the bile rising in his stomach. "Eight weeks at the base in Great Lakes. Then—"_

" _24 weeks in Coronado," Han groaned out, eying his son before looking to his wife, "He's only gone over it about a thousand times, Leia."_

 _She sniffled and looked over every inch of her son, struggling to come to terms with him becoming a man. "Coronado is nice," She croaked out, tears streaming down her face, "Your father and I went on vacation there once."_

 _Han rolled his eyes and looked to Ben. "Then?"_

" _Qualification Training for 26 weeks." Ben was quick to explain._

 _Chewie whistled. "That's almost fifteen months of training, Benjamin. That's incredible!"_

 _Ben flinched and looked away. "That's assuming I make it through. There'll be a thousand of us. About a quarter finish training."_

 _Poe was quick to respond. "You'll make it through."_

 _The rest of the farewell went by quickly. Leia sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, begging him not to continue if he was unhappy, and promised that he could always return home and go to college instead. Han reminded him not to be stupid and get himself killed. Poe suggested that he would be a hit with the ladies when training was finished. Chewie offered him a pat on the back and a wrapped cigar for a later celebration._

 _And then he found himself facing Finn, the bile in his throat rising to the surface, ready to escape. He opened his mouth, but no words came out._

" _Good luck, Ben. I know you got it in you," Finn said, before his smiling face turned more serious, "I thought Rey would come with—"_

 _Ben shook his head. "Thanks for coming, Finn."_

 _And then he crossed the security clearance line, refusing to allow himself to consider the remainder of Finn's words. He was lucky the bile never rose to the surface._

-x-x-x-

 _July 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Bacca Residences_

 _She hadn't gotten out of bed that morning, even when she heard Chewie leave. Her limbs felt weak. Her chest was heavy. Her head was sore. Sunlight hadn't peaked in until Finn showed up, hours after she had woken up. When the light finally lit up the room, he could see her clearly._

 _The red face. The splotchy cheeks. The quivering lips._

 _He frowned._

" _Rey…"_

" _I don't know why I'm crying," She croaked out, her hands shaking as she clasped onto her sheets, "I just—I can't stop—"_

 _Finn dropped beside her on the bed and pulled her into his arms. He pressed a kiss to her head._

" _It's okay, Peanut. You'll figure it out eventually."_

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

The Lah'mu Miami Beach

Rey was furiously shoving clothes back into her suitcase, her cheeks a permanent shade of scarlet from both her argument with Ben and the ridiculous amount of wine she had consumed over dinner. After Ben's departure, Poe and Finn packed up their key lime pie and returned with Rey to their suite, speaking of nothing but the calm evening weather.

Once they had retreated to their suite, Rey returned to her bedroom, taking no time to put her stuff away. She needed to go home. Poe and Finn deserved to enjoy a romantic getaway, and as much as she hated Ben, he probably needed a vacation more than she did.

So, the answer was simple. She'd call up the airline, get her flight moved, and hopefully be back in Denver by tomorrow afternoon. She could still use the days she took off to catch up on sleep at home and do some of the things she had been putting off. A deep cleaning of her carpets, finish knitting that sweater for Chewie, get her oil changed…

She sighed. What a way to spend a vacation.

As she tucked the last of her clothes into her suitcase, she heard her door open. She sighed and turned to face Finn. Her best friend did not look entertained in the slightest. He had changed into a pair of silk pajamas, making his menacing face even more ridiculous.

He crossed his arms. "What are you doing, Peanut?"

She zipped up her suitcase and dropped it beside the bed. "What does it look like? I'm packing. I'll fly back in the morning."

He frowned. "Absolutely not. You're not leaving."

Rey sat on the edge of her bed and sighed. "Look, Finn, I appreciate so much what you and Poe have done. This trip, just the very idea of it, is one of the nicest things someone has ever done for me. I can never thank you—"

"Yes, you can!" Finn was quick to interject, now pacing her room, "You could just try to get along with Ben! That would be a sufficient 'thank you' for the trip!"

She made a face. "You know how Ben—"

"Stop!" He hissed out, his normally peacefully face contorted in frustration, "Enough about how evil you think Ben is! We both grew up with Ben. I have never, _ever_ , met someone who hates him. Except you." He stopped his pacing and faced Rey. "Rey…."

He looked down and shook his head. "Grow up."

Her face fell. "Excuse me? It's not just me—"

"I know!" He interjected, before rubbing at his face, clearly tired. "I know he antagonizes you. I know he likes to rile you up. I know he isn't entirely innocent. But by god Rey, you can be the bigger person, okay? You can get over this stupid little rivalry and act your age!"

She frowned, not used to Finn's tone. She had only ever heard him speak like this to opposing attorneys. Certainly not to her. Never from the man who called her Peanut with a smile.

"Finn—" confusingly, a few tears began to fall down her red cheeks, "I—"

He held his hand up. "Rey, sweetie, Poe is my forever. Do you understand that?" He sighed and took a step towards her, his features softening, "One day, if my dreams come true, he and I are going to get married, adopt a bunch of children, and live happily ever after. You are a part of that plan, Peanut! And Ben is too!"

He cursed softly and reached out, taking her hands in his, "You two are going to be connected forever because of us. Just like how he's always going to be Poe's brother, you're always going to be my best friend."

Her tears intensified as identical ones drenched Finn's own face. "Please. Just get along with him. You don't have to be friends. You don't need to go running together or hold hands, singing _Kumbaya_. I just need you two to breathe the same air and exchange pleasantries every time we're in a room together, okay?"

Rey sniffled and wiped at her cheeks. She nodded. "I'll try. So hard. I promise."

Finn pressed a kiss to her forehead and squeezed her hands. "Thank you. Get some sleep, Peanut."

She reached forward and hugged him, burying her face in his chest. "I love you," She croaked out, a fresh batch of tears soaking his shirt, "I'm so sorry I've made everything so difficult for you and Poe."

Finn frowned. "It's okay, Peanut. It's not just you. It takes two to tango."

-x-x-x-

"I'm surprised. I assumed you'd be packing."

Poe's voice drew Ben from his focus on his book. He was reading some biography on Eisenhower, a Christmas present from his reclusive Uncle Luke last Christmas. While his Uncle rarely showed up, he did always send him a gift, every birthday and Christmas since he was born. It was sweet, even if the man was a bit of a loon.

"No." Ben replied, shutting the book to look at his brother, "My time off is short enough as it is. I'm going to enjoy it, no matter what."

Poe dropped to the armchair, studying his older brother. He sighed. "Look…"

Ben shook his head. "Don't. Really. I'm not in the mood for another lecture about trying to get along with Rey."

"Well, I have to keep giving them since they go right over your head!" Poe cursed and ran a hand through his hair, "Ben, she's Finn's best friend. She's my best friend. She's not going anywhere."

"I try." Ben mumbled, his eyes moving to the ground, "I've tried in the past. I can't help that she hates me so fucking much."

Poe sighed and sat up. "I'm proposing to Finn." He smiled a bit and continued, "That's part of the reason we took this trip. I wanted to do something romantic. But I also wanted to spend time with you."

The corners of Ben's lips twitched slightly. "I'm happy you found love, Poe." He glanced at his brother and sighed, "I don't want my fighting with Rey to ruin your good time."

"Neither do I. So. Please, for the love of all that is good, just try to get along with her, okay? I know she doesn't always make it easy. But neither do you."

Ben just nodded. "I'll be on my best behavior."

Poe smiled and rose to his feet. "Good. Now, go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."

He moved to the door but stopped, his hand wrapped around the door knob. He turned to looked at Ben.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Ben shrugged. "You'll ask anyway."

"Why didn't you kiss her?" Poe leaned against the wall, studying his brother, "hell, if the camera had landed on her and me, or her and Finn, I know both of us would have kissed her. She's a beautiful woman. She was willing to kiss you."

Ben looked down, his hands moving to his thighs. He grasped onto his pajama pants, his knuckles whitening.

"I couldn't." His response was terse. Tired. Defeated. "Not… After last time. Last Christmas."

Poe opened his mouth, as if to respond, but stopped. He stared at Ben. "You remember?"

Ben gave a curt nod.

"She doesn't." Poe added quickly, his face softening as he watched his brother, "So…"

"So never again." Ben set the novel on his bedside table and rubbed at his eyes. He looked to his brother. "Goodnight, Poe."

Poe sighed and took the hint.

"Goodnight, Ben."

-x-x-x-

Well, after Rey's discussion with Finn the previous evening, she had a new goal in mind for her vacation. She was going to enjoy herself the best that she could. If Finn and Poe did things as a couple, she'd enjoy the time alone. She'd get her nails done, get a massage, get another facial, lay by the pool or the beach, and the list could go on. She was at one of the nicest resorts in one of the most gorgeous beach cities in the country.

She would not let this opportunity go to waste.

Admittedly, she had another goal in mind. That morning, she had woken up, her body slick with sweat and a dull ache between her legs that reminded her she was going on seven months without a good lay. And given Snap's inconsistent performances, she was looking at probably a solid ten months since her last (literal) man-made orgasm.

So, she was thinking about some of those college boys Rose had suggested, especially as she had slipped into her nicest bikini. It was a tiny white ensemble, with straps around her upper arm, making her feel like a Grecian goddess. The high cut bottoms exposed her toned thighs and nice butt, and with her hair piled into a ballcap, she felt sexy and comfortable as she strolled to the pool.

She was by herself, as Finn and Poe had decided on another couple's day, keen to enjoy the beach with just each other. Rey couldn't blame them for wanting to get away. If she had the man she loved beside her, she'd never want someone intruding.

And Ben… Well, she hadn't seen Ben since nine that morning. He had shared breakfast with the trio, only chatting casually with Poe and Finn. Once the couple had left, she had journeyed to the pool, not paying any attention to Ben's plans for the day.

She would do whatever she could to please Finn and Poe. Deep down, she knew the best way to get along with Ben Solo was to ignore him.

So that's exactly what she did.

Equipped with just her room key, Rey arrived at the gorgeous pool deck. The water glittered in the sun, the blue lagoon calling to her with every sparkling minute. The pool was ginormous, weaving out through the gorgeous patio, overlooking the equally as gorgeous ocean. Tucked into the patio was also a lovely looking hot tub as well as a few bars.

Rey was in heaven.

As soon as she grabbed a towel and found a chair, she was at the bar, ordering herself a colorful cocktail, excited to taste the fruity drink while basking in the water. And she did just that, settling into a nice corner of the pool, lowering herself into the cool water. She let out a soft gasp, enjoying the delicious chill on her previously heated skin.

She only had to enjoy the cool water and sugary drink alone for a few moments. She was quickly joined by a gorgeous man, his chest toned and glistening in the sunlight from the droplets coating his skin. His blonde hair was pushed back from the water, and like Rey, he was nursing a drink, albeit his was blue instead of her pink. A blue that was the same color of his twinkling eyes.

"Marlins fan?" He asked, settling beside her, his dimples exposed as he smiled, "It's always hot when a girl is in a ballcap."

Rey smirked and sipped her drink. "Not exactly. I just picked it up."

He chuckled and shrugged. "Well, no matter. You look good in it." He sipped his drink and eyed her, his eyes dropping down her chest before rising back to her face, "I'm James."

She bit her lip. "Rey. Nice to meet you."

The two jumped into a comfortable conversation, James mentioning that he was in Miami for the weekend, hosting his best friend's bachelor party. He lived in Raleigh and was a dentist. And, to Rey's delight, he was extremely handsome.

She was already thinking about the possibility of a torrid love affair, of nixing her drought with the help of a strong torso, big hands, a warm voice, and big, brown eyes—

She froze.

Well, that was bizarre.

She cleared her throat and took a hefty sip of her drink, focusing on James' story about his trip the previous May to New York, and about how his soon-to-be-married best friend had gotten his jacket stuck in the door of a departing subway train.

Then, something bizarre happened. Well, maybe not bizarre. Unexpected, but not bizarre. Not when the universe frequently worked against Rey's favor.

Because as James began to talk about dinner plans, as he began to drop hints about which clubs his friends and he would be visiting, another warm body dropped beside her. A thick arm wrapped around her shoulders, and before she knew it, she was flush against a hard chest.

She gazed up, meeting the angry gaze of Ben Solo.

"Babe, am I going to have to kick this guy's ass for you?" Ben asked, his voice laced with contempt as he glanced over at James, "I have some raging fucking PTSD, man. It'd be nice if I could take a phone call without someone all over my woman."

Rey's mouth dropped open, too surprised to even speak. James rose an eyebrow and looked at Rey before back at Ben. "Well, Rey here didn't mention a boy—"

"You know," Ben began again, pulling Rey closer to his body, "It'd be really fucking nice if I could enjoy my vacation before my next deployment without some douchebag hitting on my girl."

James coughed and moved away. "Right. Sorry. Thanks for your service."

"Thanks. Now fuck off."

Rey gawked and watched as James pulled himself out of the pool, hurrying off without so much as looking at her. She turned and looked at Ben, conscious of his thick arm wrapped around her shoulders. She growled.

Ben dropped his arm and sipped his beer. "That's not very nice."

"What the _fuck_!" Rey seethed, her eyes shooting daggers into the man, "What the hell is your problem? I finally start chatting to a normal guy and you just do _that_?"

Ben shrugged and finished his beer. "You should know by now, Scavenger, that I can't have a good time unless I'm ruining your fun."

She growled and shoved at his ridiculously hard chest. "You're ridiculous and I fucking hate you."

He shrugged. "Ridiculous is my middle name." He waved a server over and glanced at Rey's empty glass. "We'll take two tequila shots, a Corona, and a Sex on the Beach."

Rey scowled and turned away, bringing her arms over her chest in a furious pout. "Well, I can't say no to a drink. Even if you're a—"

"Big-boned jockstrap?" Ben provided, his lips twitching in a soft smile.

She growled and splashed him. "That. But you said it, not me."

He chuckled and leaned back, enjoying the sun on his skin. "Finn give you ' _the talk'_ last night?"

Rey hummed in agreement. "You could say that. We're supposed to be getting along. I was doing _fine_ until you decided to chase my dinner away."

Ben sat up and glanced at her, his muscles tensing. "Your dinner?"

She couldn't help but smirk. "A girl has needs."

He shifted in his spot, shaking his head. Ben _had_ wanted to enjoy a calm afternoon by the pool, but the sight of Rey and that dickhead chatting had set his nerves on fire. So, he figured he'd spare her the pain of another heartbreak, given her terrible taste in men, by just scaring the asshole off.

He succeeded. The last thing she needed was another Snap Wexley.

At the thought of her ex-fiancé, he shook his head. They needed to talk about something else, namely anything but her 'needs' or her ex-douchebag. "So, how's work?"

The pair accepted their new drinks, the shots of tequila sitting idly on the concrete beside them. Rey took a sip of her drink, surprised by Ben's question. He was being civil.

How bizarre.

"It's…" She sighed and rubbed her eyes, exhausted just thinking about what was waiting for her in Denver, "Well, it's hell. Don't get me wrong. I love it. Every minute. But it's exhausting. Starting any business is."

He grabbed his beer, still studying the woman beside him. "Let me guess. You're working like sixty hours a week."

She laughed, although the giggles transferred into a yawn. She flushed. "Try seventy before program launches."

"That's not healthy, Scavenger. No wonder you keep yawning in my enchanting presence."

She snorted. "Enchanting? Try again Ben Solo." She glanced at the shot and grabbed one, as well as the lime wedge sitting on the edge of the glass, "Now, let's drink. God knows I need it."

Ben followed, grabbing his glass. He met Rey's gaze, momentarily captivated as she brought salt to wrist, licked the pellets off, finished the drink, and began to suck on the wedge. He coughed and followed her performance, immediately scowling as the liquor burned his throat.

"Fuck," he groaned out, setting the empty glass down, "I forgot how much I fucking hated tequila."

Rey laughed and sunk deeper into the pool. She smirked. "I love it."

Evidently so, as she waved the waitress back, ordering another six shots for the pair of them. Ben made a face.

"It figures. You normally love whatever I hate." He stood up and stretched. "I'm going to the hot tub."

Rey looked up at the man, swallowing at the sight of water dripping down his hard muscles. His short hair was sticking up in every direction, as if he had run his hand through it a dozen times. He was wearing a pair of black board shorts, the color a stark contrast to his creamy skin and flushed cheeks. And without a shirt, she couldn't help but admire his thick arms and his gorgeous chest.

Oh, his chest. She sighed and let her eyes wander, enjoying his defined pecks and down to his stomach, amazed but not surprised by the shape he was kept in from his career. The water only intensified his build.

Unable to let him leave, she stood up and cleared her throat. "Alright. The hot tub sounds nice."

-x-x-x-

The pair had thankfully arrived at an empty tub, dropping into the warm water with identical grunts. Under the misting machines surrounding the tub, they were exposed to a delicious blend of hot and cold sensations. The waitress was close behind, setting the tray down between the pair. Ben, who had let his head fall backwards, simply enjoying the water, opened his eyes to see the six shot glasses.

He let out a groan. "You know, messing with you isn't as fun if you're exhausted."

Rey, who had been relaxing the same way, opened her eyes and met his chocolate gaze. She blushed and grabbed a glass. "Is that so?"

"It is, Scavenger." And then Ben grabbed a glass, forgoing the salt as he downed the shot. However, he wasn't ballsy enough to ignore the lime. He had the wedge between his lips, watching as Rey downed two shots, not a moment in-between.

He chuckled. "It's good you took a vacation. Even if we don't get along, I can tell you need one." He cleared his throat and did another shot, evening himself out with Rey, "Poe is always mentioning how overworked you are."

Rey studied the man beside her, trying her best not to drop her eyes to his glistening chest. "Likewise." She shifted in the water, enjoying the feel of the jets against the small of her back, before continuing, "I can't imagine your schedule."

Ben shrugged. "You get used to it. Yeah, the lack of vacation sucks, but that's the name of the game." He eyed the last two shots sitting beside him before looking to Rey, "I got a phone call this morning too. They're cutting training short."

"What does that mean?" She found herself gravitating towards him, always entranced by their normal conversations. She could count how many they'd had in her lifetime on one hand.

He grabbed his last shot and downed it. This time he did forego the lime. "Well, I was supposed to have training back in California, as well as a handful of other places for a total of about six months. Going back to the base is always the preference, with other training here in the US also ideal," He settled into the water, tossing his head back, letting the sun hit his skin, "But there's a terrorist group moving back north where I was deployed, and an expected coup within two months."

Rey frowned. "Which means…"

He opened one eye, looking at the woman. "Which means when my three weeks are over, I'm heading right back overseas. Straight to deployment."

She swallowed, unable to fight the frown forming on her lips. "How long this time?"

He shrugged. "This past one was six months. The one before that eight."

"That's… unfair. I'm sorry."

Ben couldn't help but chuckle. "Don't be. That's what I signed up for. I guess we both like to help people," he glanced over at Rey, a smile playing on his lips, "But I got to do my job with a lot less schooling."

Rey blushed and looked down, studying the way the jet bubbles pooled around her knees. "I'd say lucky but…"

He shut his eyes and leaned back. "Nah. I'm only lucky to be alive."

"Aren't we all?"

Ben simply hummed and lowered himself deeper into the tub.

Rey couldn't help but study him. After finishing her last shot, she waved the waitress over, requesting another half dozen. They were on vacation. And if they were going to be discussing death, and deployment, and exhaustion, then they were damn well going to get drunk while doing it.

When the next batch arrived, Ben had shaken out of his stupor and managed to do his three consecutively, watching Rey with what she could only describe as his signature grin. She made a face.

"Slow down! I can't move that fast." She whined, before downing one with a grimace.

He roared with laughter, clearly loosened up after seven shots. "You catch up then, Scavenger."

She did another and coughed. "That might take a year, jockstrap."

"As if. Drink up." He waved up the waitress (and boy was she going to get a good tip) requesting another Corona and a margarita for Rey.

With the last of her shots finished, she looked to Ben. "You trying to get me drunk, Solo?" She was thanking the lord she was a heavy weight, even for her small frame. She could usually do ten shots of _anything_ before she was most certainly drunk.

He smirked. "So what if I am? You always claim you can drink me under the table. Let's see it."

Rey narrowed her eyes but couldn't find it in her to be annoyed with him. Maybe the tequila _was_ getting to her. "Fine. You're on."

The waitress was quick to drop off their new batch of drinks, allowing Rey to sit back, slurping on the blue slush with no cares in the world. Ben was nursing his beer, watching her carefully.

"Besides. I know Finn and Poe, and if they got you to come, they expect you to be having fun." He took another sip, his eyes dropping lazily to her chest before moving back to her face, "So drink up."

Rey practically snorted. "Fun? Who says hanging out with you is fun?"

He laughed, a beautifully rich sound that Rey rarely heard. And unless the alcohol was messing with her field of vision, he appeared to be much closer to her.

"Oh, I'm very fun, Rey. That's why Poe and I threw all the parties. That's why I won all the championships."

She rolled her eyes. "If that helps you sleep at night, Solo."

"Oh, come on." Ben began, his eyes glued to her tan skin, "You never have fun. You were a stuck in the mud in high school. I'm sure you were the same all throughout Harvard." He glanced away and finished his beer, his mouth continuing to spit out words, "Thank god you didn't marry that tool. He was even fucking worse."

She was too busy studying the blue slush in her glass to notice the way his fists clenched. She hiccupped. "Snap? Yeah. He was a tool."

Ben set his empty bottle down. "You never would have had fun with his ring on your finger."

Rey glanced at her bare ring finger before looking to Ben. At meeting his dark gaze, she swallowed, her head feeling just a bit woozy. "You really didn't like him."

It wasn't a question.

Ben shrugged and looked around the tub, the pool deck, the bar, really anywhere that wasn't Rey. "Bad vibes. That's all."

Rey finished her drink and hiccupped again. "Yeah. Missed those for fourteen months."

He shook his head and finally looked back to Rey, his pupils blown wide. "That guy was a golf fan. That should have been your first warning. And…"

Rey frowned. "And what?"

He cursed and shook his head. "Poe didn't like him. Poe likes everyone."

Rey looked down, conscious of her lip quivering, thinking back to discovering Snap's betrayal. "Yeah. You should have seen Poe's face when I told him what Snap tried to do."

Shifting in the tub, Ben dropped lower, letting the water hit his shoulders. He cursed. "He called me. He was livid."

"He did?" Rey didn't realize her friends were so deeply affected. She was lucky Poe and Finn cared so much about her.

Ben looked back to her, letting his gaze settle on her mouth. "Well, yeah. You were upset so Finn was upset so Poe was upset. And he tells me everything."

She looked down. "And I still gave Snap the benefit of the doubt. Another three weeks before I officially ended it."

"Yeah. For someone who's so smart, you really were a fucking idiot with that tool."

Rey couldn't help but smile wistfully, the alcohol clouding her brain. Under most circumstances, she'd be beating herself up internally for how she treated the fiasco with Snap. But around Ben, for some reason, she had no desire to.

"I always am with boys," She began, her lips twitching into a smile, "Remember Lando?" She laughed. Lando had been her off and on…. Well, not boyfriend, but she did have many firsts with him in high school, even shedding a few tears over the asshole. Now, he was married with two kids, living in Dallas. It was crazy how quickly things changed, only a decade out of high school.

Ben looked away and waved over the waitress, pointing to the empty bottle. He couldn't help but scowl. "Don't remind me."

They settled into a comfortable silence, until the new beer was placed in Ben's hands. But before he could even enjoy the cold drink, one that likely was putting him back ten bucks, Rey had grabbed the bottle, taking a greedy sip.

She smirked, her cheeks flushed red. Ben grunted.

"You want another?" He wasn't even trying to hide the way his gaze had dropped to her chest.

Rey nodded and bit her lip, moving closer to the man beside her. He was just so… Big. Ben continued to stare at her, too spell bound to respond.

"You gonna let loose tomorrow night?" He found himself asking, alternating between sipping his drink and handing it to Rey for one, "Poe mentioned something about ABC themed. Is that like kiddie shit?"

She took a gulp of the beer, her tongue wiggling over the glass opening. Ben swallowed, his eyes locked on the movements of her pink lips and tongue. She giggled at his lack of knowledge.

"Nope," She explained, popping her 'p' with vigor, "ABC means 'anything but clothes'. So, you show up wearing stuff that wouldn't normally be considered clothes. Or just… really exposed."

Ben blinked. "I see. They want to go. Seems… young for them." He grabbed the beer and studied Rey as his lips wrapped around the opening, the same place her tongue had just graciously explored, "Are you going to join?"

She shrugged and bit her lip. "Probably. You know, I was the queen of costumes in university."

He handed her back the bottle. "Well, I only saw you twice a year when you were in college. So I wouldn't really know."

"Well. I guess you'll find out."

Ben swallowed, his eyes drooping in a mixture of desire and alcohol. "Yeah. I guess I will."

Another comfortable silence filled their space, until a guy joined them in the tub. Wearing a backwards cap and a pair of long board shorts, Rey could only guess he was a college student enjoying his summer holiday. While she was indifferent by his arrival, Ben was anything but. Especially when the new guest had the audacity to wink at her.

She barely managed to blink before she found herself hauled into Ben's lap, his arms wrapping around her exposed stomach and hips. Rey squeaked and turned to look at him, her mouth open in surprise. Ben watched the guy, his eyes angry.

He grunted. "You mind? This tub is taken."

The college student rolled his eyes and settled into the tub, spreading his legs in the process. He smirked. "There's plenty of room, dude. You can't claim a tub."

Ben growled and shifted forward, bringing Rey along with him. He narrowed his eyes. "I'm trying to spend some time with my fucking girlfriend before I'm deployed. So, again, you fucking mind?"

The guy glanced at Ben and then Rey, before back to Ben. He gulped and climbed out. "Uh. Sorry dude."

Rey watched the guy hurry off. She giggled. "That was awesome."

Underneath her, Ben only hummed, settling his cheek against the exposed skin of her back. He pulled her body closer, unable to prevent his hips from pushing upwards, grinding against her bottom, his cock already painfully hard in his board shorts. He let out a soft grunt.

Rey gasped and stilled against him, very much able to feel his excitement. She swallowed and turned to look at him, her cheeks beet red.

Ben grunted and met her gaze, no longer concerned by her response. "What? I'm a fucking man if you haven't noticed." He was really wishing he had another drink.

"Oh. I noticed." And then like the little brat she was, Rey wiggled her hips, moaning softly at the feeling of his hard length digging into her center, before hopping to her feet. She climbed out of the tub, practically purring at the feeling of the much cooler air compared to the heat of the water.

Ben growled and followed her movements, leaving the water. He grabbed her arm. "You don't get to do that and just walk away, Scavenger."

Rey stuck up her nose and couldn't help biting her lip. Yeah. The alcohol had _definitely_ gone to her head. "What are you going to do about it, Solo?"

He took a step forward, his eyes gazing into hers. "Be careful what you're walking into, Rey. Be smart and use that big brain of yours."

She narrowed her eyes and took another step forward. "I am."

Ben's hand slid down the smooth expanse of her arm, dropping from her bicep to her hand. He tightened his hold on it and hurried off, Rey following closely behind.

The journey back to the hotel suite involved navigating a crowded pool deck, maneuvering through the lobby, an elevator ride, and eventually walking to the corner of the eighteenth floor. The entire time, Rey could do nothing but enjoy the feeling of Ben's ginormous hand wrapped in hers. Not only was his skin warm, but his hand was freakishly big, swallowing hers between his fingers.

He had pulled a key card out and shoved open the door, kicking it closed as soon as they crossed the threshold. Before she could even contemplate the effects of seven shots of tequila, two cocktails, and half a beer, she was hoisted into his arms and tossed over his shoulder, Ben carrying her like a caveman with a rag doll.

She was in shock by the time he moved to his room, quickly settling her down on the freshly made beds. Rey leaned up on her elbows, staring at him, her mouth agape. He moved between her legs, his dark chocolate gaze meeting her own.

Literal shivers ran down her spine.

She knew what was coming next.

"Hi." She managed to squeak out.

Continuing the caveman trend, he grunted. "Hey." He climbed onto the bed, sitting on his knees, between her open legs.

She stared at him, doe-like eyes examining every exposed inch of his body. At that moment, Rey very much felt like prey. Like some tiny, innocent little animal that was being appraised by the big bad wolf.

And like a predator, he was quick to pounce, his mouth pressing hot kisses from her forehead to her collarbone. His hands moved purely on adrenaline, untying her top and tossing the offending garment to the side. Within mere seconds, his warm hands had replaced the material, his hands now palming and playing with the soft, exposed skin of her chest.

Rey let out a soft sigh, her head falling back. She moaned. "Getting right to it, are we?"

Ben's mouth had already dropped to her chest, his full lips wrapped around one of her nipples. He let go of the skin with a 'pop', his hooded gaze meeting her eyes. "Why should I wait?"

She squeaked. "Good point. But—"

Those words were swallowed at the feeling of her bikini bottoms being ripped off and replaced with a warm tongue. A tongue that seemed to be intimately familiar with her aching core, despite never having seen it before. Because Ben knew _exactly_ what he was doing. Every swipe of his tongue at her throbbing clit, every press of his fingers into her weeping entrance, every caress of her pink lips had her crying out for release.

Her hands had moved to his hair, pulling at the short, dark strands with a type of fury she rarely saw outside of interactions with Ben. She desperately wanted to glance at his body, to see exactly how hungry for her he was, but at her current angle, as he ate her alive, that simply wasn't a possibility.

When he eventually added a third finger to his generous fucking of her throbbing center, she let out a pathetic cry, her ruby red toes curling into the plush white duvet of the hotel bed. He let out an equally as delightful noise, continuing to plunge his fingers into her depths, his tongue following in rhythmic perfection.

Once she had stopped quivering, Ben slid backwards, untangling his fingers and tongue from her soaking core. With no trouble at all, he flipped her over, settling her on her stomach. With a light smack on her ass, she let out a soft cry and moved to her knees, displaying her round ass to his view.

He grunted and ran his hand down her soft globes, before moving his fingers back between her dewy folds. He cursed. "Fuck, Rey."

She simply moaned and wiggled her hips. As she grabbed a pillow from the top of the bed, she heard Ben's board shorts drop to the floor. She desperately tried to turn her head, eager for a glimpse of a cock that she knew would put any guy she had slept with to shame. But at her angle, she was again left in the dark, only able to stare at the pristine white sheets.

So, when she felt his thick head rub against her entrance, she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut. She had never been so excited yet appalled for something in her life. Only given a few seconds to contemplate how monumentally stupid (or so, so, so fucking good) this would be, she felt his thick length push forward.

It was as if all air left her lungs. Ben continued to push forward, his ridiculously perfect fucking cock filling her to a point she didn't know she could be filled. By the time he bottomed out, all she could do was let out a paltry cry, her fingers gripping the sheets in a desperate bid for some control.

Then he started moving. And fuck did he know how to move. Every fucking smack of his hips against her ass had her eyes rolling backwards, his fingers digging into the side of her hips. His loud gasps and grunts filled her ears, making the moment even more surreal. She could barely remember the few times of ever seeing Ben happy, let alone moaning in her fucking ear.

Maybe he just had a magical cock. That could be the explanation. Because he was hitting something inside of her, inspiring feelings in her body that Snap and certainly none of her previous partners had ever discovered.

She let out a scream at a certain potent smack of his hips, his hands venturing from her hips to her chest, his knees balancing their bodies as he continued to fuck her. His fingers began to squeeze her heated flesh, pulling at her soft, pink nipples with every thrust of his hips. He dropped his face to her neck, leaving wet kisses down to her shoulders.

"Ben!" She screamed out, pulling at the sheets with vigor, "Oh my god… Yes… You—I—Don't stop!"

He dropped one hand to the joining of their bodies and began to rub at her sensitive nub. That was all it took. She knew the seagulls on the beach probably heard her scream.

And as she shook, and screamed, and quivered around his cock, Ben let out a delicious cry himself, his body collapsing against hers, his hot spend leaving a trail from her aching center to the back of her knees.

They both collapsed onto their backs, the room quiet sans their labored gasps for air. After a few minutes, Rey simply moaned.

"That took too long." She managed out, her head woozy from the liquor and the activity, "had I known it'd be that good…" She moaned.

Ben growled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her form against his. "I knew it'd be that good. It was always fucking amazing in my dreams."

She stretched her back, sprawling against his body like a cat. "You dreamed about me?" She asked, her hand moving to grab his.

He moaned again and began to kiss her neck. "Mhm. Since I was twelve."

She practically purred. "Tell me some of them."

"You in the library. Your little skirt flipped up. I'm taking you from behind. Or you wear nothing but my uniform jacket. Naked underneath," He growled and squeezed her hand, conscious of his cock somehow waking up at the thought.

She brought his hand to her lips and pressed a soft kiss to his fingers. "Raincheck, Solo."

He shut his eyes. "I doubt you'll say that when you're not drunk."

Rey simply nodded and shut her eyes, enjoying the soft cotton sheets of the bed and the dream mattress she could only wish for back home. With Ben's warm form against her, a day in the sun behind her, and a much-needed fuck under her belt, she was quick to fall asleep.

She did, however, realize one thing before sleep had claimed her.

Ben never kissed her.

-x-x-x-

Six hours later, their identical screams of passion had morphed into screams of surprise.

Ben was reminded of why he didn't drink tequila.

-x-x-x-

 _April 2006_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Solo Residences_

 _Rey was a good girl. Considering her constant focus on school and her extracurriculars, she rarely found herself doing anything that her peers would consider "fun". Sure, she went to the cinema, cheered at the football games Friday night, and every once in a while, even went ice skating with Finn and Poe._

 _But she avoided high school parties like the plague. She had never understood the desire to get extremely drunk on crap alcohol acquired from older friends or taken from someone's parents', or hang around while listening to loud music, constantly worried about the arrival of the cops._

 _Yet, somehow on that fateful Saturday evening, she had been conned into going to her first party. Han and Leia were on a trip to celebrate their anniversary in Cancun, leaving the Solo home in the care of Poe and Ben._

 _Clearly, their trust was mishandled. Poe had immediately jumped at the opportunity to throw a party, and Ben certainly didn't complain. His basketball hooligan teammates were always looking for a new place to rage at._

 _So, Finn and Poe had put their foots down, insistent that Rey come. That's how she had shown up that evening, dressed in a pair of black jeans, and a mint green tank top that showed just a hint of skin. She had tied her hair up, knowing she'd likely sweat in the crowd of gross teens, and even forced herself to put a bit of makeup on._

 _Even then, she had refused to drink. Perhaps she was on a pedestal or being too much of a goody-two-shoes. Or maybe her birth mother's fatal battle with substance abuse left a nasty scar._

 _But Rey was insistent on enjoying herself. She clung to Finn, following her best friend wherever he went, jumping in on his conversations like she was desperately drowning. Occasionally she moved to Poe, enjoying his easy personality and his host duties. And, a few times during the night, she hung out with Lando Calrissian and Pamich Goode, two members of the student council along with her._

 _Perhaps the constant for the evening was her monitoring of Ben's behavior. She couldn't understand how he was friendly with any of the guys on the basketball team. Not only were the morons incredibly shallow, but they were some of the most obnoxious blokes she had the misfortune to come across. Between shot-gunning beers, making lewd gestures against some of Leia's artwork, and their general volume, the group was absolutely awful._

 _And Rey could never tell if Ben was enjoying himself. He was wearing a crisp white t-shirt and a pair of loose, blue jeans, looking ever casual. For most of the evening, he had hung out with his team, occasionally exchanging words with Poe._

 _But, by midnight, Rey noticed that his attention had shifted to one of the soccer players. Kaydel Connix was relatively popular, known for her charming smile and kindness. She was incredibly beautiful, especially that night, her blonde hair pinned neatly to her head._

 _Rey had only ever had positive encounters with Kaydel. The blonde had volunteered at an event with the student council Rey's freshmen year. She donated two dozen cookies to a fundraiser for Rey's club, Friends for Fostering, held in February. She had even been Rey's partner for a physics project the previous semester._

 _She liked Kaydel._

 _But, for some reason, watching as the blonde laughed at something Ben said, her hand gently splayed across his bicep, she found herself questioning their acquaintanceship._

 _Why did everyone like Kaydel so bloody much?_

 _Sure, Rey presumed she was pretty. She guessed she was smart. Maybe she was kind. But so was Poe and even he got into arguments with people occasionally!_

 _She had forced herself to stop watching the pair, eventually distracting herself with a game of 'Never Have I Ever' with Finn, trying to enjoy the evening. That was until the ginger ales she had sipped the entire evening got to her._

 _With the downstairs powder room occupied, she scampered upstairs, expecting to use the bathroom in Poe's bedroom. As she moved down the hallway, she froze as Ben's door gently opened._

 _Her feet were locked in place, just as frozen as her gaze. Slowly exiting Ben's room, with pink cheeks and red lips was Kaydel, her once perfectly groomed hair falling out of its bobby pins. Kaydel noticed Rey and giggled._

" _Hi Rey. Great party, isn't it?" the blonde laughed, before scampering down the stairs._

 _Rey had to disagree. She wasn't exactly having fun._

 _So, focused on rectifying her misery, Rey rushed to use the bathroom and eventually returned down the stairs, immediately storming to the bar. She grabbed a beer and took a gulp, her face contorting in disgust as the liquid slid down her throat._

 _She had no idea how Chewie drank a few cans a night._

 _That shit was fucking awful._

 _Eventually, Finn strolled over, his eyes wide. "Rey? Peanut, are you drinking? Even after your lengthy speech about the perils of alcohol?"_

 _She hiccupped and forced herself to take another gulp of the drink. "Yup. I'm drinking. Now, let's have some fun."_

 _As it turned out, Rey had many firsts that night. She had her first sip of alcohol. She played her first round of beer pong._

 _Perhaps, most importantly, she shared her first kiss with Lando. After finishing her drink and laughing beside him on the couch, she suddenly found herself hauled into his arms, their lips meeting in an awkward albeit passionate fury._

 _Even though the public location would not have been her first choice, Rey found she didn't care. Her hands had found his hair, his hands had moved to her hips, and her lips were finally getting the type of activity they craved._

 _She certainly didn't care that she could feel Ben Solo watching from the corner. It definitely didn't make her kiss Lando harder, or pull at his shirt with more force, or make little noises every time his tongue met hers in a messy frenzy._

 _She definitely didn't care._

 _But, her attention on her current activity also prevented her from seeing Ben throw back more than a few drinks as he watched, his knuckles whitening as they wrapped tightly around the bottles._

 _She also missed Kaydel Connix pull Nodin Chavdri to the backyard, their tongues tangled, and their bodies locked in an intimate embrace._


	6. Animal House

_August 2003_

 _Coos Bay, Oregon_

' _The Falcon'_

 _Normally, Rey loved joining the Solos on trips during her summer holiday. But, usually, those trips didn't require almost 24 hours in a car. This year, Leia was insistent on not doing one of their "usual" trips, and since Han always appeased his wife, the family set off for Oregon. Chewie was typically a homebody unless Han was involved, so per usual, he followed the family, giving Rey a chance at a real vacation._

 _And sure, the trip was long, but Chewie had gifted her with a pretty blue CD player the previous Christmas, so she was entertained for the entirety of the ride by watching the passing scenery and alternating between John Mayer, Blink-182, and Kelly Clarkson._

 _But, now that she was settled on the Solos' boat, enjoying the August sun, she was thrilled they had taken the trip. She wished it had corresponded with her 13_ _th_ _birthday weeks ago but hey, beggars can't be choosers. Besides, Rey had a nice view from the chair was tanning in._

 _Poe and Ben were squirting each other with water guns, ever acting like children. And over the past few months, Poe had really grown. She immediately recognized the deepening of his voice, along with the few inches he'd grown. Poe was handsome. She even thought she might have a crush on him._

 _But those thoughts always disappeared whenever she saw Ben. Because Ben… Well, he was giant. Even at thirteen, he was now towering over Han and Leia, even meeting Chewie's shoulder. His hair was starting to grow out, along with the muscles all over his body._

 _Sometimes, looking at Ben made Rey feel weird. She couldn't help but blush when her eyes landed on him._

 _Even now._

 _Because her eyes were locked to his form as he pulled off his t-shirt, exposing his pale skin to the sunlight. Pale skin that was nicely toned for a boy his age. Pale skin that made Poe look like a boy._

 _Pale skin that made Ben look like a man._

 _Her cheeks felt hot again._

 _Well, thankfully Poe was there to spray her with a water gun, causing her to jump up with a scream._

" _Poe! I was reading, you arsehole!" She groaned out, before carefully setting her book down, "That's not fair!"_

 _He snorted and tucked the gun under his arm. "Well, sorry Rey. You just look boring reading." He nudged Ben and grinned, "Say, Rey, do you like Ben's necklace?"_

 _Rey raised an eyebrow and glanced at Ben, noticing the necklace Poe was referring to. It was a simple silver chain with a tiny infinity symbol hanging off the edge. Now that Poe pointed it out, she had noticed Ben wearing it in the past. Which was a bit weird, when she thought about it, because Ben was the last type of boy she expected to be wearing jewelry._

" _Um, I guess so." Rey responded, her face still crinkled in confusion._

 _Poe smirked. "I told Ben you would. Maybe that's why he keeps wearing it."_

 _Ben elbowed his brother and growled. "Shut up. I'm wearing it because it was Grandpa's."_

 _She bit her lip. "Oh. Your grandpa gave that to you?"_

 _He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yes. My Grandma Padme gave it to my Grandpa Anakin when they fell in love. When he died, he left it to me." He looked at Poe and glared, "That's why I wear it. I don't care if girls like it, especially not Rey."_

 _Poe rolled his eyes and grabbed his water gun. "Whatever you say, Benjamin." He turned to Rey and grinned, "Come inside. My mom is making lunch and I think Chewie is already drunk!"_

 _Rey groaned and stood up. She loved her guardian to death but when the man was with Han, he was known for having a few too many. The same went for his loyal best friend._

 _Thankfully, the pair were drunken fools, preferring to crack jokes and resort to physical comedy. Not drunks like Rey's mum._

 _Not her mum, she was quick to remind herself. Just the woman who gave birth to her._

 _She glanced around the boat and the beautiful scenery, listening to the squeal of Leia as Ben and Poe attacked her with water guns and couldn't help but smile._

 _How had she gotten so lucky?_

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

The Lah'mu Miami Beach

Something smelled good. Like coconut, and sunshine, and a bit of lime. Something felt warm, too. Like a soft, heated blanket, wrapped around every inch of Ben's body.

His eyes shot open.

Ben screamed and bolted up. He was naked. Rey was naked. And even though his head was killing him and his stomach was already fighting back, his body felt good. Like sweet relief.

Rey stirred immediately, her tired eyes meeting his. Her scream followed. Grabbing the loose sheet, she tried to cover her chest, although even Ben couldn't help his eyes dropping to catch a glimpse of a pink nipple and golden skin.

"What are you doing here?" Ben forced out, his voice hoarse after their evening.

She blinked. "Excuse me? What am I doing here? What about what are you doing here?" She kicked her leg out and pushed at his bare leg.

"This is my room." He moaned out, grabbing her ankle and stopping her kicks, "And this is exactly why I don't drink tequila."

"Yeah? Is that so?" She mumbled, pulling her leg away, although unable to peel her gaze away from his half-naked body.

Ben pulled at his hair, waiting for Rey to freak out. Surely she was going to freak out, right? A scream was never going to be sufficient. "Yeah. Shit like this happens."

She rose to her feet, albeit her legs wobbly. The sheet dropped ever so slightly, immediately drawing Ben's gaze in. "That makes me feel good. Thanks, Solo."

He grunted. "Oh? And you would have fucked me while you were sober?"

Rey narrowed her eyes. "Who's to say? Maybe in the heat of the moment." She shrugged and stumbled to the door. "Now, if you'd excuse me, I'm going to go vomit."

She stumbled out of the bedroom, trying to ignore the breeze on her ass. Ben certainly noticed the sheet opening. He groaned and shut his eyes, dropping down to the bed.

His memories of the previous evening were hazy. He remembered tequila. A lot of tequila. He remembered a hot tub, and the strawberry smell of Rey's hair, and soft skin.

But nothing was concrete. Just glimpses of bare breasts, and sweet skin, and desperate moans.

And you know what? That pissed Ben off. Because after years of knowing Rey, years of fighting with her, years of arguing about which Shakespeare play was best and whether she had a higher alcohol tolerance because she was English, years of dreaming of her soft skin and pretty lips…

He finally had the chance to see it. And leave it to him not to remember.

He cursed. He needed ibuprofen. Or maybe another drink.

-x-x-x-

A few hours later, Rey felt a presence looming over her. She slowly opened her eyes, meeting the curious gaze of a sleepy Finn.

"Rey?" He asked, a yawn escaping his lips, "Why are you asleep on the couch? And only wearing a robe?"

That was a good question. As she struggled to sit up, it all came back to her. Waking up in Ben's bed. Stumbling to her bathroom, where she proceeded to vomit and sit in a cold shower for five minutes. Then, the struggle into a hotel-issued robe. She vaguely remembered forcing herself towards the mini bar in the shared living area, desperate for a bottle of water. And if the water bottle in her hand was any indication, she must have fallen asleep after her drink.

She groaned and brushed some hair out of her face. With the state her damp hair was in, she was going to need another shower.

"I… I needed some water." She explained, before uncapping the bottle and taking a gulp, "I must have fallen asleep."

Finn raised an eyebrow. "Ahuh. I'm going to order breakfast. What do you want?"

Her stomach growled. What did she want? Grease. Literal grease. "Bacon. Potatoes. Whatever you wouldn't dare to eat on one of your weird diets."

He hummed in agreement and shuffled to the phone. As he placed their breakfast order, Rey tightened the slash on her robe, thankful that her headache had dissipated slightly. She couldn't believe she had gotten so drunk. She normally was a heavy weight, rarely getting too drunk, except one occasion during her freshmen year of college, and the previous year's Christmas.

But yesterday… Well, with Ben and an endless supply of tequila, she somehow had ended up almost black-out drunk. She had a few dazed recollections. A jackass in a ball cap. Ben carrying her over his shoulder. His hard body pounding into hers.

A shiver ran down her spine. She almost wished she remembered the rest.

Finn turned to her, studying her carefully. She immediately blushed, somehow convinced he could read her mind, and knew she was thinking about Ben Solo's bare chest.

"So. Are we going to talk about the hickeys all over your neck?" Finn inquired casually, dropping into one of the plush chairs, watching Rey expectantly, "You disappeared yesterday. Who was the lucky guy?"

Rey took another sip of her water, flushing red under Finn's watchful gaze. "I don't know if you'll believe me."

He didn't flinch. "Try me."

"Well. It was—"

"Ben."

Rey choked on her water. "How—"

Finn rolled his eyes and rubbed his face. "It was only a matter of time, Peanut. So many years of sexual tension." He yawned and stared at Rey, "I mean, one of two things were going to happen. You two were either going to murder each other or end up fucking."

She blinked. "You're not surprised?"

He cocked his head, his eyes looking into her soul, or something cheesy like that. "Are you?"

Rey felt the air leave her lungs. Was she surprised? She had spent years and years fighting with Ben Solo, screaming expletives and hating the way he did anything. But she had also spent years of her life, admiring his tall build, and deep voice, and powerful frame, and—

She was being ridiculous. Of course, she was surprised. She had never thought of sleeping with Ben Solo, let alone expected it to happen. The man was her mortal enemy, as it was.

"Finn! I hate—"

He groaned and jumped to his feet. "God, it's too early to hear this again. I know, you hate him, he sucks, he's annoying, blah blah blah." He threw his head back, like a petulant child, and moaned as if in pain, "Rey, can I ask you something?"

She frowned and simply nodded.

"Why did you get into Harvard?"

Rey sat up and crossed her arms, surprised by the question. "Because I had excellent grades, worked my arse off in high school, got a great score on the SATs—"

"And at the root at that? What would you say about people that go to Harvard?"

She blinked. "That we're… Hard-working? Smart? I don't know where you're going with this, Finn."

His gaze had her shivering. "I would agree. You're smart, Rey. One of the smartest people I know." He leaned forward, reaching to grab her hand, "And I know there's no way you can ignore that sizzling heat between you and Ben."

Finn squeezed her hand and smiled softly. "There's a very thin line between love and hate. Because I guarantee, you've spent more time in your life thinking about Ben than anyone else. And for someone you hate, that's pretty remarkable."

Her mouth fell open. "That's—Finn—"

He shook his head. "How was the sex?"

Rey squeaked. She and Finn rarely discussed their sex lives. Mainly, she had no interest in hearing about Poe's performance. Had Finn been with someone else, maybe their conversations would have been different. Normally, to discuss sex, she leaned on Rose.

"Finn!"

"What? I'm interested. How was he?"

She flushed deeper and looked down. "I don't remember a lot but…" She groaned and kicked out her legs, "But what I do, he was incredible. There was just so much raw…" She whimpered and moaned softly, "Passion. It just… Yeah."

Finn smirked. "Sounds like Poe."

Rey gagged. "I don't want to hear about that!"

"I guess we both got lucky last night. I always say once you go Solo, you never go back."

She screamed and shoved him. "Finn! Gross! Stop!"

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her, pressing a wet kiss to her cheek. He smiled down at her. Until his smile faded.

She frowned. "Finn?"

"I need to be honest with you, Rey. I know you're going to scream at me and what not but I…" He sighed and shook his head, "As your best friend, I feel like I owe this to you. Even if it makes you angry."

She gulped. "Finn…"

"I think you have feelings for him."

Her mouth fell open. She wasn't certain she had heard him properly. Feelings? For Ben? Was he crazy?

"Finn, there's no way—"

He sighed and shook his head. "Just think about it. Okay? I don't need to hear your usual argument. I just want you to sit back and consider what I just said to you. Consider what you two have gone through over the past so many years. Can you do that for me?"

All she could do was nod.

Finn knew her better than anybody in the world.

But he couldn't be right about this.

Could he?

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

Corellia Bar & Grill

After her conversation with Finn, Rey filled her stomach with enough greasy food to satisfy her for the winter, before departing for the beach. She was in the mood to be alone. Not to listen to anyone tell her about her life or her feelings or her behavior.

Because frankly, she was sick of hearing it. She didn't have an answer for Finn. Why did she hate Ben Solo? Sure, he could be an ass, but he had never truly hurt Rey. It wasn't as if he bullied her, or sabotaged her, or spent his life devoted to tormenting her.

That wasn't the case at all. She supposed it was just years of going head to head. Where Ben was a loner, she was outgoing. Perhaps years in youth of trying to be his friend and him pushing her away built a hatred. Or maybe it was that no matter what Rey did, no matter how amazing her grades, or how large her accomplishments, Ben somehow outshined her. Whether his stupid basketball career, or that time he saved an old lady from a burning building, or the fact that his parents were Leia and Han Solo, Denver royalty, he always came out on top.

So, yeah, maybe that put a chip on Rey's shoulder. Maybe her hatred of Ben stemmed back to resentment that he had a perfect life with a perfect family. Maybe it stemmed from him being the only person to have the guts to challenge her on anything and everything. Or maybe it stemmed from her hating that she cared about someone else, especially when caring in her past life only brought hurt.

Rey groaned and sat at the table, her stomach rumbling, shivering slightly in just the white mini-dress she was wearing. Great. She was back to psychoanalyzing herself. Maybe her moronic neighbors back in high school were right. Perhaps she should have gone to medical school. Maybe then she'd understand what the hell was going through her head and her heart.

Finn and Poe joined her at the table, Ben following close behind. While she had spent the day alone, she knew it was only right to share dinner with the group, especially when they were checking out the following day. She was going to miss Miami, but she did love being on the ocean, so she was looking forward to their sailing excursion. Maybe in her past life she was a pirate.

She could see that.

Rey grabbed the drink menu and hid her face behind the pamphlet. She wasn't really in the mood to face Ben. She hadn't seen him since their interaction that morning. One that had her limping out of his bedroom, his dried spend between her thighs and leaking down her leg.

She flushed at the thought. Thankfully, Poe's voice knocked her out of her X-rated memories.

"—But he bought it anyway. Why even ask for my opinion if you're going to do what you want?" Poe asked, glancing between the three others at the table, "And it was coral. He knows how I feel about coral."

Finn groaned. "Poe, please! We've talked about this. I won't wear it around you if you hate it that much."

"I'm holding you to that!" Poe announced, before grabbing a menu, "Otherwise, I'll pull my Hawaiian shirts back out."

Rey sighed and set the menu down, ignoring Poe and Finn's ridiculous, if not flirtatious, argument about fashion. Even when they were annoying she loved them. But, thinking back to Finn's words, she decided to be the bigger person. She glanced at Ben.

His skin had a warmth to it, suggesting his few days in the sun had done the trick. It reminded her of the Ben of her youth, the one with the sickly pale skin that frequently had Han quipping about possible vampire ancestry. Of course, enlisting had changed the amount of time Ben was outside, and now his once marble white skin had a rather smooth, buttery sheen to it.

Rey groaned. Was she comparing Ben's skin to butter? Could she still be drunk from the night before? She shook her head and grabbed the food menu, wondering what other types of grease she could feed her body. But, with a deep breath, she decided to speak.

"How was your day?" She asked Ben, her voice cautious, like a child approaching a parent they knew they had irritated, "It was nice and sunny today."

Ben blinked and looked to her, taken aback by her question. Understandably so, since Rey rarely spoke to him like a normal human being.

"It was nice." He replied, his voice short, per usual, "I went on a run and then to the pool."

She cleared her throat. "That sounds fun. Are you looking forward to sailing?"

Some of Rey's favorite memories over the summer were sitting shot gun in Chewie's old truck, following the Solo family's old station wagon to Blue Mesa. It was a four-hour drive, one that Rey and Chewie spent blasting his old playlists from the seventies. Leia and Han had a cabin near the reservoir, and considering its size, frequently invited Rey and Chewie along. It gave Han an escape—he could sit around, drinking beer and laughing with Chewie—and Rey a chance at a vacation, albeit a small one.

Their first trip was when Rey was eleven. She had never forgotten the thrill of being on a boat. Han had even let her hold the wheel, laughing as she squealed at every twist and turn. And the Solo family was quite happy on the water. Their vacations over the summer, frequently to anywhere with water, had Han teaching both Ben and Poe how to navigate the blue expanse including much more extensive bodies of water than the measly 20 miles of lake in Blue Mesa.

Maybe that's what inspired Ben's desire to join the Navy.

He shrugged at Rey's question. "I guess. The water calms me. It might be nice to just lay on a boat and get piss drunk, as opposed to working on one like I have."

Rey swallowed and nodded. "Right. Do you remember the first summer trip Chewie and I joined?"

A smile twitched on his face. Rey almost gasped it was so surprising to see. He nodded. "I do. When you vomited on the deck and Poe couldn't take the smell, so he vomited too?"

She blushed and nodded. "Now I'm a pro on ships."

"I hope so. Otherwise we'll toss you overboard." His smile was playful.

She bit her lip. Was he flirting with her? Ben Solo was acting normal. Rey was speechless.

If she had known he would be more agreeable after a good fuck, maybe she would have been inclined to do so earlier.

"Toss me? Please. As if you could keep up with me, Solo." She tilted her head, watching him carefully, "Besides, I'd just swim back on."

He leaned closer to her, his gaze hard to study in the dim lights of the restaurant. "That I believe. Rey Johnson was never a quitter."

"She never will be." Rey was quick to shoot back, "I'm a fighter."

"Believe me," His voice was strangled, "I know."

She bit her lip and opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted by the appearance of their waiter. The apathetic teen was holding a tray filled with drinks and quickly began to distribute the water glasses. However, in addition to the four cups he set down, was also a beautiful summer drink, the liquid a delicious pink with bits of tropical fruit peaking from the rim. He placed in front of Rey.

Rey looked down at the chilled drink and back to the waiter. "Um, sorry, I didn't order this!" She couldn't help but laugh. She was jealous of whoever had.

The teenager rolled his eyes and shoved the tray under his arm. He motioned towards the bar. Well, more specifically, the rather attractive bartender wiping down the surface. Wearing a tight blue t-shirt with the name of the restaurant across his chest, as well as a sleeve of tattoos running up his right arm, this guy was not what Rey would normally concede as her type. But there was something about his short, sandy blonde hair and charming smile that had her thinking otherwise.

"It's on the house. From Tobias."

The waiter strolled away, looking as irritated as ever. Poe, Finn, and Ben all turned in identical movements, looking to the bar. Tobias caught Rey's eye and smirked, proceeding to wave and wink, before moving to help a customer.

Poe groaned. "Oh, yes, Rey. Well spotted."

She flushed. "Poe! I didn't—"

Ben crossed his arms and leaned backwards, his once playful smile from moments ago gone. "Hey, Rey, could you maybe keep it in your pants, so we can have a nice meal?"

Rey's mouth dropped open. She turned to Ben and narrowed her eyes. "Excuse me? I didn't do anything. He bought me the drink."

"Right." Ben looked around for the waiter, his legs bouncing anxiously, "You were probably sending him eyes."

She practically growled and leaned over the table. "Are you serious? I didn't even notice him until the drink arrived!" She shook her head and looked to Poe and Finn for help, but the two conveniently had taken to their phones, intent on ignoring the fight brewing, "Why are you being such an arsehole?"

He narrowed his eyes and slammed his hands on the table, rattling the glasses of water. He laughed, although his tone was anything but playful. "And why are you being such a bitch?"

Normally, she took anything Ben said in stride. His words were rarely hurtful.

Tonight, they were. She frowned. "I'm over this. You three enjoy dinner." She grabbed her purse and stormed out, leaving Ben to stew over their words, his body sliding deeper into the chair, as if trying to disappear.

The minute she was gone, he scoffed and shook his head, glancing over at Finn and Poe. The couple had put their phones away and were glaring at Ben.

"Can you believe her?" He asked, his gruff voice tinged with irritation.

Poe sat up, trying to appear intimidating. "I don't know, Ben. What did she do?"

Ben waved his hands in the air, staring at his brother. "What did she do? Well, first, she showed up in that dress, which frankly, with that little fabric, isn't even a dress. Then, she accepts a drink from some random guy? Who does she think she is?"

Leaning over, Finn smacked Ben upside the head. "Shut up. There's nothing wrong with her dress. And a free drink is a free drink. She did nothing wrong."

"It's just… highly inappropriate for something like this," Ben shot back, rubbing at the side of his head, "And she doesn't know that guy. Accepting that drink is accepting his advances."

Finn just rolled his eyes and flung his body against his chair. He groaned and pinched his nose. "You're fucking impossible, you know that?"

Ben shook his head and stood up. "I'll grab a burger at the hotel. I can see everyone is always going to take her side."

"She doesn't need you calling her a bitch, so yeah, I'm going to take her side." Finn shot back, his eyes furious.

"Well, you know what? I don't need her wearing that dress in public or flirting with random fucking bartenders that probably have untreatable strands of Chlamydia!"

Finn stood up and poked at Ben's chest. "She doesn't need you monitoring her love life. You have no say into what she wears or who she fucks." He shook his head and glanced at Poe, desperate for backup, before looking back to Ben, "And if that's something you think you have a right to comment on, then you need to act like someone who fucking cares about her."

Ben clenched his fists and took a step backwards. He glanced at Poe. His brother just shook his head and looked down.

That was enough for Ben. He turned on his heels and stormed out.

Finn collapsed back into his chair and pinched his nose. Poe squeezed his shoulder and smiled sadly.

"Well. I always suspected he was whipped." Poe explained, his fingers playing in the condensation on his glass, "But Ben has never been good with any sort of feelings."

Finn cursed and rubbed at his face. "They slept together, you know? Last night."

Poe's mouth dropped open rather comically. "What? You're lying."

His boyfriend shook his head. "Nope. Not in the slightest. They got really drunk and ended up in bed together."

"Well. That's a concept."

Finn nodded. "Do you think we're going to survive the rest of this trip? I mean, we have a huge suite at the hotel and an entire city to separate us. But tomorrow, we're going to shift to a boat. A tiny, enclosed space for just the four of us."

Poe just laughed. "Yeah. It's going to be miserable."

The pair shared a soft kiss. Poe continued speaking. "Well, at least they probably won't join us for clubbing."

Finn laughed. "Yeah. I guess we can count our blessings for that."

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

The Lah'mu Miami Beach

After storming out of the restaurant, Rey stopped by a street vendor and bought herself a giant Styrofoam box of empanadas before heading back to the hotel. She slipped into her pajamas, grabbed a bottle of wine, and moved to the balcony of their suite. Settling into one of the plush chairs, she admired the gorgeous glimmering ocean, alternating between enjoying the view and shoving her mouth full of golden, fried, meaty goodness.

By the time she had moved onto her third empanada, she heard the balcony door slide open. She turned and met Ben's cautious gaze. He looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. She scowled and took a gulp from the bottle of wine.

"I… Sorry. I didn't know you were out here," He explained, his cheeks heated pink.

She glanced back to the view and kept eating, simply ignoring his presence. She expected him to return inside, especially once she heard the door slide shut. Unexpectantly, however, he joined her on one of the chairs.

"Look, uh," He cleared his throat and scratched his head, sounding awfully nervous, "We can forget today ever happened. Ignore each other for the rest of the trip. Then…" He shook his head and sighed, "Then it'll be quiet."

Rey took another sip from her bottle. "Works for me." She coughed, wishing the wine was white, not red.

Ben's eyes stayed locked on her form. "Good. It's decided then."

She simply nodded. They sat in silence for a few moments, Rey focused on devouring her fourth empanada, Ben simply studying her.

Finally, she turned to look at him. "Am I really a bitch?"

He sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He shook his head. "No. Am I really an asshole?"

She frowned. "Only when you call me a bitch. I got enough of that when I was in the system and towards the end with Snap. I don't need that from you too."

Ben flinched, clearly taken aback by her words. He cursed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you that. I didn't mean it." He looked back to her, his chocolate eyes swallowing the oxygen from Rey's lungs, "And you shouldn't have listened to a fucking word Snap said to you."

She sighed. "Yeah, well, I know that now."

"He was a fucking piece of shit. You deserve so much better." For once, Ben Solo's words seemed from the heart. It shook Rey to her core.

"I know." She glanced back at Ben, moving to snuggle into the wine bottle, "I took care of him."

Ben shook his head. "Not well enough. I should have…" He cursed and looked away, "Someone should have knocked his teeth out."

Rey couldn't help but giggle. She looked at Ben and smirked. "I keyed his car."

When Ben laughed, Rey felt her stomach flip. Maybe she had too much wine. "Yeah? Angel Rey keyed a car? Good."

She nodded and looked down. After another a few moments of silence, filled with only the sounds of the ocean and the occasional car horn, Rey glanced back over to Ben. He was studying the ocean, an expression that she couldn't read painted across his features.

"Ben?" She asked, forcing herself to keep his gaze when he turned to face her, "When are you done having the chance of being deployed?"

He cleared his throat, clearly surprised by the question. He glanced down before back to her. "Well, uh, not until I decide I guess. But I have to do twenty years to get my benefits." He ran a hand through his hair, "So at least another ten."

She gulped and looked at her lap, focusing her gaze on her freshly painted nails. The thought of her manicure compared to Ben's career made her sick. "I… I worry about you."

Ben swallowed and stared at her. "Yeah? Why?"

"I…" Her voice faltered, "It's scary."

He studied her, surprised by her words. "It's my job."

She gulped and looked back to him. "Yes. I know." She desperately wanted to move closer to him, memories of their previous evening running through her head. She was going crazy. "It's just… You could…" She whimpered and shook her head, "You could die."

Ben smiled sadly, holding her gaze. "Again. It's my job. I wake up and go to sleep every day knowing that. And I've lost friends. But…" He cleared his throat and continued, "Well, I wouldn't change what I do in a heartbeat."

"You're good at it." She flushed and looked down, embarrassed to meet his gaze, "I'm proud to talk about the things you've accomplished to my other friends."

His eyes widened, clearly taken aback by her words. "You talk about me to your other friends, Scavenger?"

She flushed a deep red. "Uhm. Well, sometimes they ask about you. You know, Rose and Jessika and Paige…"

Ben nodded. "Next time you can tell them I'm an asshole."

Rey smiled sadly. "You're not. Not always, anyways."

He gulped. "Right. I'm going to…" He stood up and ran a hand through his hair, "Head inside and change for going out with Finn and Poe. Poe really wants me to go. He says it reminds him of being in a frat and since I didn't get the college experience, this is my chance."

"I'm just going to go to bed," Rey explained before rising to her feet, "I'm tired."

He cleared his throat. "Finn will be disappointed. Poe too."

She frowned. "Oh. Maybe I'll change my mind."

"You still have some time. It's early." He opened the door back to the hotel room, his eyes still locked on Rey. "So hopefully you change your mind."

She nodded. "Right… I'll consider."

"Right," Ben whispered, his eyes still locked on hers, "See you later then."

"Remember!" She squeaked out, as he crossed the threshold, moving back into the room, "ABC themed!"

Ben couldn't help but chuckle. "You remember too, Scavenger."

As he disappeared deeper into the suite, Rey set her bottle of wine down.

What the hell had just happened?

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

39 Lounge

If this was what college was like for Poe and Finn, Ben was kind of glad he skipped the whole process. Because the club was disgustingly hot, absurdly cramped, and filled with enough loose inhibitions to make Ben slightly sick.

He still wasn't entirely sure how he had been talked into clubbing—he wasn't one for going out but could be convinced to grab a drink every once in a while. However, he skipped clubs. He didn't do crowds if he could avoid it and he certainly didn't dance.

But Poe had gone on and on about how fun themed parties were in college and how his fraternity was known for doing some "wild" stuff. And, based on their banter, it sounded like Finn was worried about the couple losing their "youth" as they approached the big three-zero, only approximately sixteen months away for each of them.

So, Ben had been convinced to tag along, as well as participate in the ridiculous theme. As Rey had described, an ABC-themed party had nothing to do with the alphabet or children. It simply meant "anything but clothes", meaning party goers were expected to dress in outfits not consisting of their regular attire.

When Ben had walked into the shared space of their suite and saw Poe and Finn, he almost turned right back around and went back to his bedroom. His brother was wearing an American flag as a skirt, his top half covered in just white and grey feathers glued to his chest. Ben wasn't entirely thrilled with seeing his brother using his flag (the one he lived to protect) as a skirt, but he wasn't going to ruin their good time.

Especially when Poe announced that he was dressed as "Freedom", hinting that the feathers made him an eagle. At least Finn had rolled his eyes along with Ben.

Finn, however, was on the more conservative side, wearing a hula skirt made of some synthetic green material. He even complemented the look with two coconuts over his chest.

And even though it wasn't the most creative outfit, Ben still had to give him props, especially when he considered his own. He had argued with his brother and Finn about the theme for hours, eventually conceding that he'd play along.

And he had.

But Poe wasn't thrilled when he left his bedroom, Ben appearing in one of the hotel's fresh white bedsheets, tied to his body like a toga.

Poe said it was cheating.

Ben didn't care.

Then, just as they moved to leave, Rey appeared, voicing her desire to go. Even though she had probably spent only mere minutes putting a costume together, her creativity was still lightyears ahead of Ben's.

She had cut one of the shopping bags from her trips and wrapped it around her hips as a skirt, leaving the plastic to hug her pert bottom. For her top half, she had perfectly wrapped dollar bills around a bralette, giving her the appearance of only shielding her modesty with the bills.

Her exposed stomach and legs had made his mouth water.

But that had been almost an hour ago. The four of them had taken an Uber to the club and since Finn had some college friends in the area, they were put on the guest list and welcomed inside relatively easily. Of course, once inside, Ben was desperate to leave.

There were so many half naked humans wandering around, screaming over music that he couldn't fathom someone paying to listen to, all while slurping on vodka Red Bulls that probably cost them upwards of twenty dollars.

But, Poe had told him to have fun. So, he would try.

And he had. For the first hour. Now, he just wanted to go back to the hotel and get some sleep, especially before checking out in the afternoon and beginning their sailing trip.

He had fell back to hang out at the bar, surveying the excess of human bodies, sipping on an overpriced beer. Finn, Poe, and Rey had taken to the dance floor, moving wildly with amused laughter and pent up energy.

He wasn't sure what had changed Rey's mind about going out for the evening, but he was glad she had showed up. Ben rarely felt bad about things, but he did feel bad about dinner. He didn't mean to call her a bitch. It had sort of just… come out. And as much as he prided himself with being composed and controlled, characteristics of a good SEAL, something had just… slipped.

He thought back to a major fight he had with his parents when he announced his desire to enlist right out of high school. His parents were immediately furious, especially considering his excess of acceptances, including six offers to play basketball.

But he knew college wasn't for him. It was never something he ever had a desire for. Another four years of school? No thanks. Sure, he was okay at school. He was smart. He did well. But another four years seemed like a nightmare.

At first, Leia and Han had come around, for some reason convincing themselves that Ben would go to the Naval Academy in Annapolis. His mother was already name dropping the important people she could get to write him letters of recommendation and his father was going on about the importance of a good education—something he never got.

Maybe Ben was a bit frustrated by his father's double standards. Han had been in the Air Force before settling down. Why was he so against Ben joining the military? And Leia, well, his dear mother had always claimed to be supportive of her children, no matter what.

But, after a relatively horrid argument after telling his parents for the last time that he would enlist right out of school, Ben had suffered enough, lashing out at his parents like never before. He had called his mother a bitch, making her cry. Han even tried to hit him, but Ben's lanky frame was too quick.

He had spent the evening in his car, not in the mood to talk to any of his superficial high school friends, or to bother his brother with his problems.

He had been alone. Until Rey showed up, serendipitously walking back the park that Ben normally shot hoops at, the same place he had parked his car for the night. Their conversation that evening had been short. But Rey's smile had made everything better, even if she had stormed off, calling him an 'arsehole'.

That memory had Ben taking another pull of his beer. He felt ashamed of the memory, of losing his temper with his parents, especially when they had only wanted what was best for him. So, he knew calling Rey a bitch was horrible and not like him. But, sometimes the darkness within him rose to the surface.

Thankfully his work had trained him to keep it hidden.

Most of the time.

He took another gulp of beer, watching as Poe and Finn embraced on the dance floor. Their movements became a bit too personal for Ben to watch, so he turned back to the bar, surprised to meet Rey's gaze. Her cheeks were tinted a delicious rosy pink, hair sticking out of her ponytail and stuck to her shiny face. Without words, she grabbed Ben's beer and took a gulp.

"Bloody hell, it's fucking hot on the dance floor!" She gasped out, holding onto the bar as she laughed, "How are you surviving in that sheet?"

Ben looked down at his attire and back to Rey. His eyes dropped to her dollar bill top. He shrugged. "How did you get those bills to stick to you?"

She smirked. "Magic. I told you, I was the queen of costumes at university."

He nodded. "Right. Of course. But you're wearing money and a shopping bag."

Rey scoffed and leaned over the bar, quickly ordering a drink from the bartender. She turned back to Ben. "It represents capitalism. Consumerism. Greed. Whatever you want it to." She accepted the deep red drink from the man and took a sip, humming with satisfaction, "Besides, I rather be creative than look like I walked out of _Animal House_."

Ben made a face. "That's a good movie. Excuse me for not having shopping bags or a hula skirt laying around. And I wasn't going to go out and buy stuff. I mean, have you seen these people? Some dude was walking around with condoms covering his junk."

"Hey, that's creative!" She shot back, before taking another slurp of her drink, "But my personal favorite was the girl in the box of wine."

He rolled his eyes. "If you say so." He looked back to Finn and Poe and practically gagged at the sight of their entangled lips. His eyes traveled back to Rey. "At least they're having fun. I came for them."

Rey giggled. "Yeah, Finn really wanted to come. All of a sudden, he's freaking out about turning 30. Which is ridiculous, because he only just turned 28!" She began to fan herself, her skin burning pink, "I think he's just going crazy because he had some magic plan. You know, married by 25, kids by 30, partner by 35. That sort of thing."

Ben quirked an eyebrow. "How can someone plan out their life like that? Doesn't that take the fun out of it?"

"Well, it's a personal preference. And they're more of guidelines than anything else. Obviously, he can't ensure he gets married within the next year or is named partner by a certain age. They're just benchmarks."

Ben cleared his throat. "Do you have any benchmarks?" He couldn't avoid the question.

Rey dropped her gaze to the plastic cup in her hand, considering his question. She sighed. "No, not exactly. I guess I just thought I'd be starting a family by now."

He blinked. "A family? Is that something you want?"

Her frown made his chest feel uncomfortable. "Oh, more than anything. I barely had a family. Sure, Chewie went out of his way to make me feel like I belong, but it's not the same as growing up with a mum and dad who love you, or siblings to play with." She shuffled her feet, her shoulders slumping, "So, yeah, I want to find someone to love me and have lots of kids. It's always been a dream of mine."

Ben swallowed, taken aback by her honesty and the sudden shift in mood. Suddenly panicking by the seriousness of their conversation and her deflating excitement, he stepped forward.

"Rey, you uh, wanna dance?"

She met his gaze, her eyes curious. She took a few moments to consider the offer.

"Sure. But if you suck, I'll leave you for the guy in the trash bag."

Ben rolled his eyes. But he was definitely smiling.

-x-x-x-

Ben didn't like to dance. He didn't like it when they had a line dancing unit during PE in elementary school. He didn't like it when Leia made him and Poe take Cotillion classes, filling his weekends with ballroom dancing instead of video games or basketball. He especially didn't like it during his senior prom, when although he had been named Prom King, (against his will, really) he was more focused on a certain girl in a stunning white dress than dancing with his Prom Queen.

But something within the last thirty minutes had changed his spirits. Maybe it was the suffocating air of the club, the strong odor of alcohol and sweat making it impossible to think. Maybe it was the two beers he enjoyed. Or, maybe it was Rey's soft skin pressed against his body, her arms wrapped around his neck, her lithe fingers mixed in his hair.

Yeah, that was probably it. Ben tightened his grip around her hips, pulling her ass flush against his body. She leaned against him, her soft hair tickling below his chin as she grinded against his body.

He had given up on pretending he didn't have a raging hard on about ten minutes ago, deciding that if Rey didn't want to feel his cock digging into her ass, then she could simply pull away and dance with someone else. Instead, she now had her hands buried in his hair, and was actively moving against him as she sang along to the music.

God, he really wished he had remembered more of the previous evening.

Or, better yet, had a repeat showing.

"Having fun?" He couldn't help but ask, taunting her over her declaration to leave if he as she so eloquently declared 'sucked'.

Rey smirked and titled her head back, managing to make eye contact with the oaf of the man behind her. "You certainly are." Her words were punctuated with a rather cruel movement of her ass.

Ben grunted and dug his fingers into her sides. "Christ, you've always been a little handful, you know that?"

She laughed softly and continued to dance, her skin shining in the colorful lights. "Would you want it any other way?"

He didn't have to think long about his answer.

"Of course not."

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

The Lah'mu Miami Beach

He endured sweet, blissful torture for another twenty minutes, completely lost in the feel of her delicious body pressed against his, nothing but music and movements flowing between them.

For once, he didn't have to be told about how much she hated him or give a nasty retort to one of her mean jabs. He could simply just enjoy being with her.

Unfortunately, their time together was cut short when Finn and Poe reappeared, looking worse for wear. Even though the pair were the ones actively campaigning for a trip to a club, especially on a themed night, they were also the same two now declaring they just wanted carbs and to share a bottle of wine.

Ben almost wanted to ask to stay. Until Rey opened her mouth and agreed.

Then he wanted to leave just as bad.

And so their last night in Miami was spent in living room of their hotel suite, sharing an oversized pizza and two bottles of prosecco, the four of them sprawled across the couch.

Ben even smiled when Rey started playing _Animal House_.

He was sad they were leaving.

-x-x-x-

The following morning, the group was surprisingly not hung over, so breakfast was genuinely enjoyed instead of being shoveled down their throats. But, as soon as the food had disappeared, everyone split off to pack their bags, their impending check out time within two hours.

Ben was in the process of folding the last of his t-shirts when Poe strolled in, smiling and drinking from a to-go cup of coffee. But, with one look at his brother, Ben froze.

"What are you wearing?" Ben asked, studying his younger brother's shirt.

Poe gawked and looked down at the white shirt, which with a set of navy lapels, looked quite like a sailors' uniform. He made a face. "A shirt?"

"You look like you're wearing a sailor's costume."

Poe gasped. "A costume? Rude. This is Givenchy."

Ben ran a hand through his hair and rolled his eyes. "Right. Whatever. Can I help you?"

Shrugging, Poe sat on the corner of the bed, studying his brother. "I just wanted to see if you were almost done. Finn and Rey went to walk on the beach but as soon as they're back, we'll check out."

Ben just nodded and zipped up at his bag. "I'm done now."

Poe looked around the room until his gaze landed on the smaller black bag sitting on a chair. Although the bag was dirty and ripped in spots, it clearly was well made and distributed to service men. Poe picked it up.

"What's this?" He asked, before flipping it over, "It needs to be washed."

Ben rolled his eyes. "It's my emergency pack. I bring it everywhere."

"Emergency? What's in it? Like, a first air kit?"

He nodded. "That, a few MREs, an emergency blanket, matches… Things you might need if your car broke down or you get lost on a hike."

Poe laughed. "Seems like a bit overkill, doesn't it? I don't think you'd need an emergency blanket in Florida."

Ben rolled his eyes and stood up. "I'll have you know that it came in handy when I drove Dad and Chewie to Albuquerque. Chewie got a splinter and my fingers were too big to pull it out." He puffed out his chest and grinned, "However, my first aid kit in my pack had tweezers. So, it came in handy."

His brother wasn't impressed. "Yeah, well, you also could have just found a Wal-Mart."

"And if our car had broken down?"

"Well did it?"

Ben narrowed his eyes. "Just look through it yourself if you're going to be annoying."

Taking up his offer, Poe unzipped the bag and began to dig through it, nosy as ever. Ben sat down and began to tie his shoes. As much as he'd miss Miami, he was looking forward to sailing. Taking a boat out with his family was some of the few pleasant memories they had, and although he spent a considerable amount of time on water, he was excited to just sit back and enjoy.

He just hoped Poe was up to the challenge. His brother was excellent at sailing and Ben knew that Finn had learned within the past few years. So, of course if anything went wrong with the other two, Ben could step up. But he fully expected to just sit on deck and drink beer.

Yeah, he could look forward to that.

"Um. Ben?"

Poe's voice knocked him out of his thoughts for the rest of their trip. He looked to his brother and felt his blood run cold.

"Ben? Are you going to explain?"

Ben swallowed and looked at the small book in Poe's hands. It was a bible, one that his grandfather had given him before he passed. He wasn't super religious, but the book meant a lot.

But Ben also knew Poe wasn't referring to the book. He was referring to the photo tucked inside.

"I… Uh…" Ben cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair.

"This is a picture of Rey." Poe was quick to interject, "And I know it is because I took it. This photo…" He glanced at it before back to his brother, "Has been missing for ten years. Why do you have it?"

Ben flushed and looked away, causing Poe to gasp. Ben ignored him.

His voice was soft, showing his embarrassment. "Sometimes you just… You need things to help you along."

Poe glanced at the photo before back to his brother. "How often do you look at this?"

Ben swallowed and focused on his shoes. "More than a should."

His brother cursed and tucked the photo away. He stood up and began to pace. "I knew it. It all makes sense now." He turned to look at Ben and crossed his arms, studying the man, "You know, I always thought but I never… I was never certain."

"Poe…"

"This is why you were so fucked up last year, wasn't it? I just thought…" He cursed and shook his head, "Well I thought something might have happened while you were deployed. I figured that, per usual, you wouldn't want to talk about it."

Ben frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Poe snorted. "Oh, that's rich Ben. Last spring, you went from being happy and relaxed and enjoying your time home, until Rey showed up with Snap. And then Christmas…" He shook his head and pinched his nose, "Man, it was so obvious!"

"I was fine last year."

His brother actually laughed. "No, you weren't. You were moody and depressed. A little insane too."

Ben pulled at his hair. "What are you getting at, Poe?"

Poe cleared his throat and stood in front of his brother. He smiled softly. "You love her."

With a shaky breath, Ben felt his shoulders collapse. He simply shook his head. "Yeah? And so, what if I do?"

"You tell her."

Ben laughed and shook his head. "She fucking hates me. So, no, I'm okay. Whatever I may or may not feel is irrelevant."

Poe sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "Ben, I love you, okay? So, listen to me when I say this. You're a fucking idiot."

"Thanks. That means a lot."

Poe rolled his eyes. "No. You need to understand that Rey is hot. She's fucking beautiful and funny and smart and guys are going to continue beating at her door. So, if you can get your caged heart to admit that you love her, you need to tell her."

He cursed and looked at Ben, his eyes concerned, "You need to tell her soon. Otherwise you're going to get back one day and she's going to have a ring on her finger and maybe a baby in her belly."

Those words left a bad taste in Ben's mouth and had his stomach equally as uneasy. He looked away and grabbed his bag.

"I know, Poe, I know."

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

Miami Yacht Club

It only took them an hour after checking out to get the keys to their rental yacht. Of course, the minute Rey stepped on board, she was seriously questioning the spending habits of her two best friends. Because the boat they were on looked like it belonged to a millionaire, certainly not a place for Rey Johnson to be.

The boat had a stunning modern interior with a gorgeous bar along the windows. Poe had even found a boat with three bedrooms which was just borderline ridiculous. And of course, the deck of the boat was stunning, and now Rey couldn't wait to lay back and watch the ocean pass her by.

So, with a grin she settled onto the deck, a glass of champagne in her hand and watched as the port disappeared into the distance.

From the top deck, Poe, who was in control, grinned. "Next step, Turks and Caicos!"

She leaned back into the deck chair, enjoying the heat of the sun on her skin.

Oh, yeah. Sailing was going to be fun.

-x-x-x-

 _December 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Solo Residence_

 _Poe was in an amazing mood. He still had two weeks left of his winter break, meaning plenty of time to lounge about the house, doing absolutely nothing but playing video games, fucking Finn, and having midnight breakfasts with Rey at their favorite diner._

 _To top off his amazing first semester (he'd made Dean's List and managed to snag Finn's heart), Christmas had been equally as amazing. He was thrilled Ben had made it home, if only for a few days, allowing the family to be together again._

 _And the presents had been incredible. Sure, he had received some thoughtful stuff from his family, Finn, and Rey, but he was referring to the gifts he had handed out. Poe considered himself a gift connoisseur and was especially thrilled with his gift for his mother this year._

 _On the side, he considered himself an amateur photographer (much to Finn's chagrin), so he spent majority of the year taking photos of everything and anything. And it had been a big year—high school graduation, starting college, Ben leaving for SEAL School, and of course his new relationship with Finn._

 _And once those photos (incredible, if he'd say so himself) were developed, he created a stunning collage of his year and gifted the masterpiece to his mother. It included photos from everything, starting from their New Year's party the previous year, to his father's big Valentine's Day surprise for his mother, to Rey's birthday, to graduation, to Ben leaving, and everything in between._

 _He was so proud. And his mother had loved it, immediately hanging it in their walkway, sobbing about how grown up her sons were. Now, whenever Poe passed it, he simply smirked._

 _Maybe he should pursue photography full time._

 _At any rate, he stopped yet again in front of the collage, admiring his work, when a gap in the canvas caught his eye._

 _A photo was missing._

 _His eyes narrowed. Someone had defaced his work. He began to examine every inch of the collage, trying to figure out which photograph was missing. And after a solid ten minutes, he was able to remember which one._

 _It was a stunning shot of Rey, sitting in the Boston Common, her eyes sparkling in the sunlight. Along with the pearly whites of her smile, her brown locks had an incredible sheen to it. It looked like it belonged in Vanity Fair._

 _Poe and Finn had gone up to Boston to visit Rey in November for the Harvard versus Yale football game, and on the afternoon before the game, they had braved the Boston chill to have a picnic in the park. And even though she had moaned and groaned when he pulled the camera out, he had captured a truly incredible photo of the girl._

 _And now someone had stolen it!_

 _He studied the canvas and sighed, knowing Rey or Chewie probably grabbed it. Not that he could blame them. His photography skills were too good to pass up._

 _He mumbled to himself and continued into the kitchen, deciding he'd fill the gap with a photo of himself at Senior Prom._

 _Those had been excellent photos too._

 _Poe grinned._

 _He really was talented. Both in front of and behind the camera._


	7. The Triangle

**NOTE:** Hello! So sorry for the delay but here's the next chapter. As I mentioned previously, this is where shit hits the fan. In this chapter, there's a sailing problem and an injury that involves blood, so if that bothers you, you may want to skip this.

Also, fair warning, THIS IS FICTION! I do as much research as I can but I am not a sailing expert, a meterologist, a survivorlist, a doctor, a Navy SEAL, or anything in between, so please, I beg you, take this with a grain of salt! I ask that you suspend your reality. I tried to make it as realistic as possible, but I can only do so much. So, please, if you are a doctor or are a sailing expert, don't grill me. I tried!

July 2018

Somewhere in the Atlantic

As Rey ate another cracker covered in a chunk of gouda too large for its thin frame, she wondered if she deserved the vacation she was on. They were due to be at sea for about two days before reaching Turks and Caicos, a gorgeous tropical wonderland promising pristine sand and more sun than she'd seen in years. It was the type of island she saw on the likes of Victoria Secret models' Instagram accounts and on episodes of shows on HGTV for rich people that wanted to buy beach homes.

It was not a place she ever expected to be going to. Not unless she somehow married a rich man.

But given her propensity to eat instant ramen while watching said HGTV shows during the weekend, that never seemed like something on her radar.

With another mewling-like moan, she stretched out her legs, basking in the sunlight. Finn was beside her, eagerly sipping on a glass of iced tea (which was a travesty without any liquor in it), enjoying the beat of the sun.

But, even as she desperately tried to focus on the sound of the water, and the casual music Poe was playing from the top deck, she couldn't ignore the heated discussion coming from the same location.

Was it really a surprise? Just a single day at sea and Ben and Poe were already arguing. Granted, Rey assumed that if Ben was going to argue with anyone, it'd be her, yet here he was, going at it with his brother.

That made her pause. She rarely recalled Ben and Poe arguing. Poe seemed to be the only person Ben consistently got along with.

"It's fine! We've done it before!" She heard Poe yell, before feeling the shadow of his body appear on her deck, "Please, just relax!"

Rey opened her eyes, unsurprised to find Poe and Ben in front of her, both clad in just swim trunks. She couldn't help her eyes from landing on Ben's chiseled chest. His arms… His stomach…

She groaned and ate another cracker. From beside her, Finn sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Aren't we supposed to be relaxing? What's up now?" He asked, before giving his boyfriend a knowing look, "If Ben doesn't like Carly Ray Jepsen, just turn the stereo off."

Ben rolled his eyes. "It's not the music. It's the forecast."

"The forecast?" Rey couldn't help but ask, "Is there like a storm coming?"

Ben's resounding "yes" was met with an adamant "no" from Poe.

Poe groaned. "Ben is overreacting. He's just like mom. There's a chance of rain and some wind, but nothing extreme. I've sailed in a bit of drizzle before. Nothing to get all worked up over."

"I looked at the radar! I think you're downplaying what's coming." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Look, I'm trained to be prepared. I just think we need to get to land. Wait out the rain."

His brother scoffed. "Well, I'm trained too! I know how to sail. We're going to be fine. We'll take preparations in case it hits us."

"Come on, Poe. We're east of the Bahamas. Let's just change route, port, and wait it out."

Finn grabbed his boyfriend's hand. "You really think it's no big deal, Poe?"

"I'm sure it's no big deal. Ben's just paranoid about everything."

Ben crossed his arms. "It's my job to be paranoid."

Rey cleared her throat. "I say we push forward. You lot know how to sail. It doesn't sound too severe. We'll be fine."

Poe grinned. "Rey is always the voice of reason. Now, Benjamin, please relax."

With an irritated shake of his head, Ben wandered back to the top deck. Just as the sound of Carly Rae Jepsen disappeared from the speakers surrounding them, Rey couldn't help but let out a snort.

At any rate, she had sunshine, gouda, wine, and her best friends. She was going to live it up.

-x-x-x-

The next morning, when Rey woke up, the sky looked anything but chipper. The sun was hidden beneath dark clouds, and an eerie chill blew through any time she stepped onto the deck. She immediately felt like something was wrong.

And as soon as Ben entered the dining area, looking as angry as ever, she knew she was right.

Poe and Finn were huddled by the counters, cutting up fruit, looking perfectly calm.

"Have you looked at the radar?" Ben hissed out, glaring at his brother, "It's gotten worse. It'll be over us in maybe four hours."

Poe chewed on a piece of mango and rolled his eyes. "Ben. Relax. It's not a big deal. It was barely a category two."

"Poe. Category four. Potential for upgrade to five."

Rey didn't know anything about sailing, but she knew hurricane categories. She swallowed and glanced at Poe. Her stomach sunk at the look of concern across his features.

"Are you sure?"

Ben scoffed. "I can read a fucking radar, Poe. Category four."

"Can we divert to the Bahamas?"

"We're as close to Turks as we are to the Bahamas."

"But we still have another 200 miles until we hit port," Poe mumbled, glancing over at a concerned Finn, before looking back to Ben, "What the hell do we do?"

Ben sighed and rubbed at his eyes, looking uncharacteristically exhausted for so early in the morning. "We buckle down and prepare. Let's start checking the engines. Hoses. Belts. Come on."

Poe swallowed and accepted a kiss from Finn before following Ben out of the dining area, looking worse for wear. Left in their wake was a concerned Finn, who took to nervously shoving the cut-up mango into his mouth, and Rey, who suddenly wondered if wine at 9am was all so bad.

"So… We're sailing into a massive bloody storm?" She found herself asking, before dropping onto one of the stools and grabbing a piece of mango, "This is why I reckon I prefer to fly."

Finn frowned. "It's going to be fine. Those boys have been sailing since… Forever." He glanced down and sighed, "Yeah. It's going to be fine."

Rey ate another piece, not sure if she quite believed Finn. Deciding if she was bound for a painful, watery death, at least she'd enjoy some wine. Grabbing one of the bottles from the bar and two glasses, she quickly poured far too much into each cup.

With a grin, she handed Finn a glass.

"Let's toast to not dying, yeah?"

Finn rolled his eyes but smiled. They each grabbed their drink and clunked the glasses together, before settling into anxious gulps of the red liquid.

-x-x-x-

There was some relief midday as the pending storm was downgraded to a category three, but even when hunkered inside with Finn, Rey couldn't help the pending dread rolling through her stomach. Ben and Poe had come inside periodically, both times soaking wet from rain, giving bits of information.

Rey understood little of what they were communicating, but at the very least, understood that they had been sailing southeast to the islands, but from the powerful winds and rain, had been pushed off course.

Towards Bermuda, Ben had mentioned in passing, as if the most casual thing in the world.

And Rey was smart. Sensible. Didn't freak out too easily.

But at the thought of sailing towards Bermuda, in a boat, during a fucking storm, she was certain she was preparing for death.

"We're going to die," she announced, huddled under a blanket on the couch with Finn, the movie they had turned on quickly ignored, "We're going to die, and my body is going to rot at the bottom of the ocean for the rest of eternity."

Finn looked at his best friend and couldn't help but laugh. "Peanut, it's going to be okay. Besides, all the ocean scavengers and sharks would eat your decaying flesh before it could float to the bottom."

"You know what happens in Bermuda. The triangle? All the missing ships? We're going to die."

"We're not in Bermuda. We were pushed off course and in that direction. But they're working to get us back on track. We'll be fine." Finn sighed and rubbed at his eyes, "Let's just get some sleep, okay?"

Rey glanced out the window, the rain beating against the glass. She swallowed.

"Are they okay out there?"

"Ben is a Navy SEAL. Poe is… He's with Ben. They're fine."

Rey frowned and nodded. "Right. Of course. Bed time."

Finn kissed her cheek before disappearing into his shared bedroom with Poe. Rey followed, before turning into her own. She wasted no time climbing into bed, praying that by the time she awoke, everything would be back to normal. No storm. Normal sailing. No fear of death.

She shut her eyes and surprisingly, fell quickly into sleep.

The next time she woke up, she managed a scream before everything went black.

-x-x-x-

Ben did not like being angry at Poe. In fact, it happened so rarely, that he wasn't entirely sure how to even deal with the conflict. But as he stood on the deck of the ship, desperately trying to revert to their desired path, battling intense rain and wind, he was _livid_.

Poe had always been more spontaneous than him. Reckless even. He was the one that insisted on throwing the parties in their youth. Buying the weed. Smoking said weed. Hot boxing their father's beloved car.

At times like this, Ben wished his brother was just a bit more like him. He just wanted to have fucking made the right call. Turned around, ported at the Bahamas, and relaxed in a fucking hotel room there, instead of shivering in the dark, rainy air.

"BEN!" Poe's shriek had him on high alert. He turned around, meeting the anxious gaze of his younger brother, who looked as equally wet and disheveled as himself, standing on the deck below him.

He opened his mouth to respond, to ask Poe what was wrong, to try to remedy whatever the problem was—

But then he saw it.

The water reaching Poe's calves. The slight tilt of the boat.

"I think we're capsizing!" Poe shrieked, waddling through the water, his dark hair stuck to his face, "the water must have gotten into the hull!"

Ben jumped to the below deck, the ocean water doing nothing to his already soaked attire. He looked at his brother and around the flooding deck.

"Lift bags! We need lift bags!" He practically yelled, looking around frantically for a possible storage area. Ben had been taught early on by Han that when a ship was capsizing, lift bags could increase the boat's buoyancy and fill any space where water was collecting. If all worked to plan, the ship would be able to right itself.

In Ben's almost two decades of sailing, he'd never been on a capsizing ship.

Poe began to waddle through the deck, Ben following close behind, before stopping at a small interior closet. Despite numerous pulls, the door refused to open. And of all the times a shitty lock could jam, Ben was having none of it.

He kicked his leg through the cheap wood and practically ripped the door off. Inside of the small compartment were six life vests and what appeared to be two lift bags.

"Is this a fucking joke?" Ben practically screamed, before grabbing the two bags. He turned to Poe and forced himself to take a breath, "You rented a fucking ship with only two lift bags? Why didn't you fucking check for this sort of shit?"

And Ben wanted him to yell back. He wanted Poe to scream and to put up a fight and to just make this feel normal.

But it didn't. And the terror in Poe's eyes, the pure fucking terror, made Ben realize that he was alone on this mission.

It wouldn't be the first time.

He took a deep breath and dropped the bags, putting his hands on his brother's shoulders.

"Poe," He began, trying to be as soft as he could in the roaring rain, "Wake up Finn and Rey. Get them in life vests. I'm going to try to right the ship. If I can't, we're going to deploy a life boat, okay?"

His younger brother only managed a dazed nod. Ben cursed and grabbed three of the vests, shoving them into Poe's arms. Thankfully, Poe managed to turn around, racing through the increasing standing water to get to the interior cabins.

And so, Ben got to work. The measly two lift bags were of virtually no use, and it became apparent to Ben rather quickly that there was no way to right to ship.

So instead, he moved to the control board, prepared to deploy one of the life boats, which according to a previously coherent Poe, were operational based on said control board.

Said control was now fizzing from water and rain damage. Said control board showed no signs of life sans smoke and fumes.

Said control board was never going to deploy a life boat.

-x-x-x-

 _July 2000_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Solo Residence_

" _Why are you just sitting there?" Ben asked, staring at the silly little British girl who kept showing up at his home. Sure, he knew her name was Rey, and yes, his mother had explained many times that she was now living with Chewie, but frankly, he didn't quite understand the arrangement, nor why the girl had to impede on his summer vacation._

 _Poe seemed to like her, but Poe liked everyone. But it didn't explain why while Ben swam around in their ginormous pool, Rey wanted to lounge on a chair for the entire afternoon._

 _Rey sat up and crossed her arms. "I'm just… relaxing."_

" _We're in the middle of a heat wave. It's like 100 degrees."_

" _So?" She asked stubbornly, even if Ben could see the thin sheen of sweat on her skin._

 _He rolled his eyes and jumped out of the pool, his feet scrapping against the warm concrete. He hovered over Rey._

" _So, it's really hot, and it's weird that you won't come swim with us."_

" _Poe left."_

" _To get lemonade. He'll be back in like twenty minutes."_

 _Rey chewed nervously on her lip. It took Ben a few moments, but he finally put two and two together._

" _Holy crap. You don't know how to swim, do you?"_

 _She immediately sat up, waved her bony arms, a dark blush covering her cheeks. "That's not—I don't—Why would I—"_

 _Ben just laughed. "Relax, Rey. You need a teacher. I can help you."_

 _That forced her to pause. Quietly, so very quietly, he heard her respond._

" _Oh. That would be nice."_

 _And so, Ben taught her to swim. He even wore those stupid Disney Princess floaties with her in the pool._

 _They were ten years old. Ben was already five foot eight._

 _But it was nice._

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Somewhere in the Atlantic

Eighteen years later, things were not nice. Ben was desperately trying to figure out a last-ditch attempt to stop the boat from capsizing any further, or to force eject the life boats, or how to get a distress call out in the weather when Poe reappeared, still in a daze.

"They're awake," He explained, his eyes wide, "What's happening?"

Ben rubbed at his soaking wet face. "The control panel is fried. I can't get the life boats to eject. Without more lift bags, there's no way to right this."

Poe swallowed and stared at his brother. "What are you saying?"

He cursed. "I'm saying we—"

Ben's words were cut off by a feminine scream. His entire body tensed, and if he thought he was running on adrenaline before, he was sorely mistaken.

He took off for the living quarters, Poe following closely behind, when Ben heard Finn cry out.

"BEN! POE!"

He moved as fast as he could. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. And when he saw Rey's open bedroom door, his heart fell to his throat.

Finn was sitting in about six inches of water, cradling Rey in his arms. A deep crimson covered his white t-shirt and hands.

"I heard her scream and I ran in!" Finn practically sobbed out, staring down at the girl, "I think the water moved her bag and she—she—she tripped and hit her head and—" He let out another sob and looked at Ben, "You gotta fix it!"

Ten years of training in the desert, in water, in the freezing fucking cold, while starving, tired, whatever— _nothing_ would have trained Ben for this moment. Nothing could have prepared him for watching Rey bleed out.

He wouldn't let it get worse.

Ben rushed forward and carefully picked Rey up from Finn's arms. He set her on the bed and looked at Poe.

"Get my emergency bag!" He barked, before turning to Finn, "And grab a bottle of vodka from the mini bar."

The two men practically sprinted out of the room. Ben stared down at the woman in his arms, the same woman who had driven him crazy since he was nine years old, invading his home, and his family, and his mind, and his heart, and—

He had never been so close to tears.

He forced himself to take a calming breath and looked at her head. Finn's assessment had been right. She gashed her head, likely on the far too sharp corner of her end table and was knocked out in the process. She was not only losing a lot of blood, but she was losing it fucking quickly.

He was going to have to stitch it up himself.

Simple training meant he knew how.

But never to someone he knew so deeply.

Never to Rey.

Finn appeared seconds later with the bag and the bottle, Poe still in the midst of the vessel. Ben swallowed and began to dig through his pack, his bloody hands tainting every clean corner of the bag. He managed to pull out his suture kit and glanced at Finn.

"Open the bottle. Pour it onto my hands. Then carefully on her wound." He was surprised by how calmly he spoke to Finn given the circumstances.

Finn followed his orders perfectly, and Ben took a deep breath, beginning to work on the wound. Rey began to shift in his arms, no doubt in immense pain.

"Shhh, you're okay, Rey, we got you," He muttered, his body focused.

She settled, drowsing back into unconsciousness as Ben began his second stitch. It was then that Poe ran back in.

"We've got to go!" He cried out, waving his hands frantically, "We're going to completely capsizing!"

Ben quickly looked up and was momentarily surprised by how accurate Poe's assessment was. He was so busy tending to Rey that he didn't realize that the boat was almost entirely on its side.

"She's not leaving until this wound is closed. Otherwise, she could bleed out." Ben was again surprised by his calmness. He continued to stitch, his hands working furiously, his work not as precise as he'd prefer, but nonetheless, getting the job done.

Poe let out a noise of distress, to which Finn jumped up and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

"It's okay, baby. She's going to be okay. We're going to be okay," Finn mumbled, pressing a comforting kiss to Poe's lips, before turning back to Ben, "What can we do?"

Ben was almost there. Two stitches and the bleeding would subside.

"Get her into the life jacket." He barked, his body now operating on pure instinct.

Finn followed his directions, crouching to his knees to carefully tuck Rey's arms into the inflated orange vest, before buckling her steadily into the jacket. He did the same to himself, and then to Poe, who had again seemingly gone into a state of shock.

Ben quickly tied off the last of his stitches and cursed, quickly shoving the kit back into his emergency pack. He slid his arms through the bag and stood up, Rey in his arms. He looked at Finn.

"You need to carry her." He explained, "The life boats are shot. I've got to go with Plan B."

Finn only managed to nod before Rey was gently transferred to his arms. Ben waved for the two men to follow him and made his way towards the deck that wasn't entirely under water. He glanced around, until his eyes settled on yet another useless wooden door, this one attached to the kitchen pantry.

With enough anger to rival the fucking hurricane they were enduring, he kicked through the door hinge and ripped the oak clean off. With careful precision, he tossed the door into the water. He looked at Poe and Finn.

"Jump."

Finn swallowed and looked at Poe. Both seemed entirely too nervous to argue with Ben and moved to the edge. Poe jumped first, before reaching up to help Finn move Rey off the ship. Finn followed.

And then Ben joined them in the water, thankfully warm from the summer, and swam over to the group. Finn and Poe had maneuvered Rey onto the floating door but remained in the water. Ben let out a terse breath.

"Get on."

Poe swallowed. "Ben—"

"I said get on. Try to keep her awake. Calm her down." He ordered, his tone indicating no room for argument.

Poe met his boyfriend's gaze. Finn gave him a curt nod before both men climbed onto the wood. Finn carefully moved Rey to rest her head on her lap. With her content in his arms, he glanced down at Ben, who still floated in the water.

"What now?" Finn managed to croak out, the severity of the circumstances finally getting to him.

Ben cleared his throat and swam to the edge of the door. He pulled a strap from his pack, a carabiner clip at the end, and attached it to the wood. In his other hand, he handed Poe a compass, its small attached LED light the only glimmer in the rainy evening.

"I swim. Direct me east."

And so Ben did, his body pulling the wood along, into the darkness of the night.

-x-x-x-

Rey was having weird dreams. Dreams of a younger version of the woman who gave birth to her, handing her a rainbow ice lolly while uttering promises that would eventually be broken. Dreams of night terrors in her adolescence, of Chewie's warm hugs to calm her down. Dreams of Ben Solo, warm lips, an ugly Christmas jumper—

A bright light was making her antsy, disturbing her sleep.

Was this death? Had she too died caught up in the Bermuda triangle? That pissed her off. Rey Johnson was another statistic in a ridiculous conspiracy theory. If she had to died, she'd prefer for it to be noble. Or at least more interesting than drowning or whatever the fuck had happened to her.

But… She didn't think she was dying. She could distinctly feel a warm hand brushing against her face. She heard voices.

Finn, specifically.

Finally, she opened her eyes, meeting Finn's concerned chocolate gaze. His head was doing a rather decent job of blocking a large portion of the sun, preventing its hard rays from beating into her sensitive eyes.

How bizarre. When she went to bed, it was cloudy. Horrible.

It was then she realized she wasn't laying on the ship's deck. She wanted to move, but her head hurt too bloody much, so instead she just fisted her hands. Said hands filled with soft sand.

"Oh my god, Rey, you're okay!" He breathed out, his voice shaking with concern, "Fuck, I was so worried. I couldn't sleep. I was so scared you weren't going to wake up."

Rey swallowed and forced herself to lean on her elbows, albeit unable to ignore the single-handed worst pain she had ever experienced in her life. Whatever it was started in her head and just never seemed to disappear.

She managed to meet Finn's gaze, although her eyesight was a bit muddled, before glancing around.

All she saw was sand, and trees, and water.

"Where are we?" She managed to croak out, her throat dry.

Finn swallowed and shrugged. "Somewhere in the Atlantic."

"How did we get here?" She tried again, the pain in her head forcing her to let out a small cry.

"The boat capsized…" He explained, his eyes tired. He leaned over and touched Rey's cheek, "You hit your head and—and—the life boats were stuck, and Ben had to give you stitches and it just…" He swallowed and rubbed his eyes, "Ben swam us here."

Rey stared at her best friend, unsure of if she was hearing him properly. She sniffled and reached for his hand, thrilled when the boy immediately entangled their fingers.

"Ben?" She managed to croak out, her body shaking in pain and fear, "Ben swam us?"

Finn nodded. "I don't know how long we were at it. At least…" He shook his head and looked down, "Fuck, I don't know, eight hours? He just swam and swam and…" he kissed Rey's hand and sniffled, "You were bleeding. We were so fucking scared."

Rey shut her eyes and dropped back to the sand, too exhausted to hold herself up any longer. "You should have left me." She croaked out, tears streaming down her face, "You should have left—"

"Don't you dare!" Finn bit in, squeezing her hand, "We'd never fucking leave you. Ever. If you went down, we'd all go down. You understand me?"

Rey sniffled, her lip quivering. "Yes. I understand."

They sat in silence for a few moments, tears streaming down Rey's face from both the pain of her head wound and the knowledge of what had occurred, all while she was an injured, useless fucking mess. Finally, she came to.

"Where is Ben?" She croaked out, forcing herself to sit up again, now looking around frantically, "Where is he?"

Finn kissed her hand. "He's collecting fire wood. He wants to make a signal. Poe joined to find fresh water. I was assigned to stay with you."

Rey whimpered. "Has he slept at all?"

He actually laughed. "Of course not. Ben won't relax until—"

His words were interrupted as Ben appeared, his massive arms filled with sticks and twigs. He glanced around the shoreline before settling on what he determined to be a good spot and dropped the pile. Then, his eyes met Rey's.

She swallowed.

Ben walked over and dropped to his knees, looking down at her. She sniffled.

"Ben…" She croaked out, her voice shaking.

"Yeah, Rey?" He whispered, his hands back to fiddling with his emergency pack.

"You're amazing."

Her words cut through his shuffling. He looked back at her and swallowed. "You can tell me that when you're not in pain on some random fucking island."

Rey sniffled and shut her eyes again. She could hear Ben fiddling around, and then the tell-tale noise of a bottle opening.

"How's your head?" He asked again, causing Rey to open her eyes. Her gaze shifted to his hands, particularly the bottle of vodka and cotton pad he was holding.

"Hurts like a bitch."

He sighed and leaned forward. "It's going to get worse. I'm sorry."

Ben was right. She let out a sob as he cleaned the wound, her shaking only subsidizing as Finn squeezed her hand. Ben moved back through his bag and pulled out a water bottle and three pills.

"Take these. I'm going to go find some food. I wish I had something stronger, but ibuprofen is better than nothing."

Rey managed a weak nod and took what he handed her. As he stood up, she couldn't stop staring at his bare chest. It made her feel especially naked in the bralette she was wearing, covered only by the ugly orange life jacket.

Ben noticed her reaction and swallowed. "Right. Hold on."

He appeared moments later with a cotton t-shirt, the same one that if Rey remembered, he had been wearing earlier in the evening. Besides a smattering of dried blood on the stomach, it looked clean, clearly having been dried in the sun.

Ben leaned forward and carefully removed the life vest, before sliding the t-shirt over her head. He stepped away, leaving her to stare at the baby blue fabric that left her practically swimming in fabric.

And despite the blood stain, and the sea and rain water that certainly had assaulted it, the top still smelled like Ben.

She immediately felt as ease.

Ben glanced at Finn.

"Can you start a fire? I want to find food and help Poe collect water."

Finn nodded and stumbled to his feet. "I was an Eagle Scout. I got it."

Ben nodded and glanced at Rey, before back to Finn. "Make sure she stays off her feet. She needs to relax. Within the next hour, make sure she eats. If we're not back by then, there's a few granola bars in the bag."

He looked back to Rey. "You're going to be okay. I promise."

Rey swallowed, unable to stop the small shakes moving through her body.

"Thank you."

-x-x-x-

 _December 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Solo Residences_

 _Ben was eleven weeks into his Basic Underwater Demolition training in Coronado. Halfway finished. He had survived Hell Week, even if four of the guys he had befriended the most had filed Drops on Request and jumped ship by week seven._

 _So, he was in relatively good spirits by the time Christmas rolled around, even if he was mentally and physically exhausted. He hadn't expected much time off for Christmas, especially smack dab in the middle of his training—perhaps just an off day and some movies in the canteen._

 _He was pleasantly surprised that he was given off three whole days for the holiday. And unlike most of the remaining guys, who were from all over the country, Ben was only a two-hour flight back home._

 _Naturally, he didn't tell Leia or Han he was coming._

 _It was quite the celebration on Christmas Eve that he strolled into. As usual, Leia had every inch of the home covered in some form of garland or glitter, and the family was preparing for their annual Christmas Eve party._

 _The last thing his mother was expecting was the front door opening and Ben to stroll in, clad in his training gear, holding nothing but a military-grade duffel bag._

 _Her scream of delight was heard around the city._

 _But Leia wasn't alone. Chewie had been diligently helping Han hang up string lights in their dining room. Poe and Finn appeared to be decorating cookies in the kitchen._

 _And then there was Rey, looking as natural as ever in his family home, placing the last of the ornaments on the seven-foot tree in their front walkway._

 _The sight of her hazel eyes syphoned whatever oxygen he had left in his lungs. And after almost five months of rigorous exercise, no sleep, and mental torture, he was convinced she was the sweetest, softest thing he had ever laid eyes on._

 _He immediately noticed some of the changes from her time in college, aside from how comfortable she looked in that Harvard sweatshirt. She had an adorable piercing at the tip of her right ear, along with a fresh haircut, her soft, brown locks only meeting her shoulders in a wavy bob, her long tresses a thing of the past._

 _But he knew he too had changed. Aside from his much shorter haircut, his body had adapted to his rigorous training. He had always been in excellent shape from his years playing basketball, but his training thus far had hardened his body. His muscles were now toned, defined, and abundantly clear even through his winter coat._

 _Yet, even with a hardened body and mind, he still felt like a fifteen-year-old, staring at Rey._

 _The moment didn't last long. His mother was in hysterics and Han was already suggesting he wasn't home for Christmas because he got a break—perhaps he simply_ _ **quit**_ _._

 _Han was ever supportive._

 _It was nice to be home._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _Rey was a week into her first true college break. She had passed her finals and all her classes (even if that GE physics class had drove her to tears multiple times during the semester), so she was ready to simply sit in front of the fire, drinking hot chocolate and catching up with Finn and Poe as if no time had passed at all._

 _She certainly hadn't expected to see Ben Solo._

 _Especially not looking like…_

 _She swallowed and focused on the tray of undecorated gingerbread cookies in front of her. She wasn't going to finish that thought._

 _Once she had finished with the tree in the entryway, she had joined Finn and Poe, helping the pair decorate a fresh batch of cookies. Guests of the famous Solo Christmas party would be arriving within three hours, which in Leia time was five minutes._

 _She was carefully icing the cookie when Finn's voice grabbed her attention. She looked to her friend, giggling at his Christmas sweater, a deep red that made his dark skin pop. She set the piping bag down._

" _What's up?" She asked, before popping a gumdrop in her mouth. She instantly noticed the nervous looks the two boys exchanged._

" _Peanut…" Finn began, looking back to Poe, unsure of his words, "Well, Poe and I have something to tell you."_

 _She raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"_

 _He swallowed. "Well—"_

 _Poe groaned. "We're dating. Since October." He looked at Finn, who appeared scandalized by his quick announcement, "What? Why draw it out?"_

 _Rey giggled and grinned. "That's it? I'm surprised. I thought you two were dating in July."_

 _Finn's mouth dropped open. Poe smirked._

" _So did I, Rey. Finn was a bit harder to come to terms with it." Poe explained, before eating a gumdrop button himself, "Yet here we are."_

 _Finn groaned. "We just wanted you to know, Rey. Once you knew, we were going to tell Ben."_

 _Rey immediately tensed at the name._

 _Her best friend noticed. "Hey, Peanut, maybe you should—"_

" _I'm going to help Leia with the table set-up."_

 _And then she was gone._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _The party had been a grand affair. Leia was busy schmoozing politicians and city residents alike, while Han enjoyed the open bar and Chewie's dry humor. Poe and Finn caught up with a few high school friends who had shown up with their parents._

 _Rey, however, found herself stifled in the ginormous home. No matter what room she hid within, she felt trapped._

 _She thought going home would be a pleasant reunion with loved ones. A chance to relive her fondest memories. A reminder of her humble beginnings._

 _Instead, it was filled with the same judgmental group of people she had grown up around. The same people who inquired about the potential of her finding a rich husband and settling down. The same people who asked why at a school like Harvard, she wasn't striving to be a doctor or a lawyer, but instead getting a degree in social studies and English. The same people who_ _ **kindly**_ _suggested she wasn't utilizing her network or that perhaps they knew someone who could get her a job at Goldman Sachs post-graduation._

 _She had escaped to the Solo's patio, allowing her to look over their expansive backyard. A few snowflakes were fluttering in the cold, Denver air, reminding her that Christmas was a period meant to be happy._

 _That forced a small smile onto her lips, regardless of the circumstances of the evening._

" _You know," A deep voice rumbled, causing Rey to jump up in surprise, "When I got here, I was excited to eat enough to feed a small village. Poe should have told me about my mother's weird diet kick."_

 _Rey swallowed and turned to Ben, surprised by his appearance. He had changed into a navy-blue button-down shirt, one that after his training, appeared to be one size too small for his larger muscles. She flushed and looked away._

" _Leia is always mindful of her health," Rey began, her voice soft, "It's a good habit. Chewie is pre-diabetic so… She's a great influence."_

 _Ben nodded and stood beside her, his gaze moving between the falling snowflakes and Rey's face. He shoved his hands into his pockets._

" _How's Harvard?" He found himself asking, his eyes locked on her form, "You already running campus?"_

 _Rey couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips. She smiled softly and shrugged. "Running campus? No. But, I did start a club. I expanded Friends for Fostering to greater Cambridge and into Boston."_

" _That's incredible," His voice was husky, "I'm not surprised. You've always been so devoted to helping others."_

 _She swallowed and shrugged again. "I was given a second chance. I think everyone deserves that."_

 _Ben just nodded and looked back to the falling snow. After a few moments, Rey spoke up._

" _Why did you enlist, Ben? You had so many offers." She found herself asking. It was a question she had since the minute she heard of Ben's intentions, so many months ago._

 _He shrugged. "I wasn't going to play professional ball."_

 _Rey turned to the man beside her. "Even so. It was a ticket to school. You could have been anything you wanted to be."_

" _And I'm doing just that. I want to be a SEAL."_

 _She sighed softly and looked back to the snow. "I just mean—"_

" _I was given a gift," Ben began, cutting off her soft voice, "I was born with incredible athletic ability. And for the first eighteen years of my life, I got to enjoy those skills to play sports. That was great. But I'm not going to go off and play basketball for the rest of my life."_

 _He sighed and looked at Rey, swallowing at the sight of her entranced hazel gaze, "If I was given a gift, I should use it to help people. So, I thought, why not use my athletic ability and join the military?" He shrugged and continued, "I want to help people. And if my chance to help them is to protect them, then so be it. That's my calling."_

 _Rey swallowed and stared at Ben, conscious of her gaze dropping to his lips. Those full, luscious, pink lips. She met his gaze again, her mouth falling open._

" _Ben, what did you want to talk about at Finn's party—"_

" _Jesus! There he is!" Han's gruff voice cut off her words. The older man appeared outside, his face in a scowl, "Your mother is going on and on about you to the Attorney General and you're nowhere to be found! Go inside and say hello!"_

 _Without a single word, Ben offered Rey a soft smile before following his father inside._

 _She let out a shaky breath the minute the pair disappeared._

 _That might have been the first and only nice moment she had shared with Ben Solo in a decade of acquaintanceship._

 **END NOTE:** So, as I mentioned before, I don't know shit about sailing or storms or capsizing or suture kits or head stitches or anything. I tried to do some research, but this is always a guessing game. So please, I ask that you be nice if you are an expert because I did geuninely try, but this is just fiction so just bare with me :)

Also, I started another Reylo story called 'The Heir'. the prologue is up now and the first chapter should be up soon, so check that out if you're interested :)

PS. You got a glimpse into A Christmas. But it wasn't THE Christmas. Coming soon ; )


	8. Tarzan, Jungle Man

_March 2016_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Yavin Gated Residences_

 _Finn was thrilled to be back home after a long day of work. He was busy preparing to go to trial for a rather nasty lawsuit against a car manufacturer, and with his dream of moving up to partner, he was working ungodly amounts of overtime in the hopes of impressing his superiors._

 _But, now back at home, he could enjoy a quiet evening with Poe. Their plans for that particular Thursday evening were easy—order pizza, Skype Ben to wish him a happy birthday, and fall asleep watching the newest season of "House of Cards". In fact, if the sound of the shower coming from the bedroom was any indication, Poe had finally beaten Finn home and was winding down for the evening._

 _And a wicked thought crossed Finn's head. Maybe he'd join his boyfriend. A hot shower after a long day was much needed. And so, he began to unbutton his favorite sky-blue shirt, thinking of the ways he could worship Poe's body, when a knock came at the door._

 _Before he could even contemplate checking who was at the door, the doorknob turned._

 _Only one person outside of Poe and Finn had a key to their home._

 _And said person strolled inside, still dressed in her work attire, carrying a bag of Chinese take away. Finn halted his unbuttoning and looked at Rey._

" _Uh… Rey? What are you doing here?" He asked, before casually redressing himself as if he hadn't just been planning on fucking his boyfriend senseless._

 _Rey, to her credit, smiled and set the bag down. "Am I not allowed to just stop by and visit my two best friends?"_

 _Finn blinked. "Well, yes, you're always welcome, but we have plans tomorrow. It's Thursday. Don't you and Rose normally do tacos or something today?"_

 _She cleared her throat and began to unpack the bag. "Actually, it's tamales. And yes, normally, but just uh. We decided to skip today."_

 _Well, that didn't sound right. Rey skipping food? Finn studied his best friend, wondering if the nagging voice in the back of his head was right on the money or completely ludicrous._

 _He didn't have the chance to decide as Poe strolled in, freshly dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants, hair messy and dripping wet. Poe was quick to whisper a hello to his boyfriend and offer him a kiss before turning to Rey. He grinned at their guest._

" _Rey! What a surprise? What are you doing here?" He eyed the food and rubbed at his stomach, "And food from Jade Palace? God, what a wonderful woman."_

 _She bit her lip and shrugged. "I just wanted to hang with my best friends. Have dinner. Whatever."_

 _Poe grinned and pulled plates out for the trio. "Well, awesome! Let's eat quickly. I need to call Ben before he's pulled into dinner. I'm sure they're doing something for his birthday."_

 _Finn glanced at Rey, pondering the flush crossing her features. But, whatever she was feeling was quickly pushed to the side, the girl much preferring to act clueless._

" _Oh! It's Ben's birthday? I had no idea." Grabbing a spoon, she began to empty a generous portion of pork fried rice on her plate, her cheeks a bright pink, "I'm so sorry I intruded. I can head out…"_

 _Poe laughed and waved his hand. "No, no! You should say hi. He might get a kick out of seeing a familiar face."_

 _Rey cleared her throat and nodded. "Right. I'll be polite and civil. Just wish him a happy birthday."_

" _We sent a few books, some girl scout cookies, some clothes… Just some stuff to prepare him for deployment next month as a gift," He glanced at Finn and pouted, "Crap, I hope the package got to him by today."_

 _Finn kissed his cheek and smiled. "I'm sure it did. If it didn't, he'll understand."_

 _And so, the trio finished filling their plates and moved to the kitchen table, quick to sit down and dig in. Poe went into a long speech about the new dealership opening in Phoenix, alternating complaints about the heat with mouthfuls of sweet and sour chicken._

 _But Finn, for once in his life, was far more interested in watching Rey over his boyfriend. He found the entire evening to be on the peculiar side. For starters, Rey was wearing lipstick. And not her usual Steve Jobs start-up attire of a Learnable t-shirt and zip up hoodie. She was wearing a nice blouse that gave a peak at her chest._

 _Not to mention, Finn knew damn well that Rey knew when Ben's birthday was. The girl had been dragged to every one of Ben Solo's birthday celebrations facilitated by an ever-excited Leia since she arrived in Colorado._

 _This all made Finn sigh. Would it really be so difficult for the girl to just admit she wanted to talk to Ben?_

 _-x-x-x-_

 _Rey stood to the side as the sound of the Skype ring filled the room. Poe sat comfortably in his desk chair, eyeing the screen of his computer, his massive desktop taking up only a small portion of the wooden desk. Finn had pulled up an ottoman beside his boyfriend and lounged against him._

 _The trio were huddled into the library, a space that was used as a home office for Poe to assist Han with the dealerships, and for Finn to catch up occasionally on work while at home. And while Poe normally chatted with Ben on his laptop, relaxing in the living room, he knew getting two other people in the frame would be difficult._

 _After a few moments, the ringing finally stopped, and a pixelated image popped onto the screen. At first, all Rey could recognize was darkness, and maybe a lamp, until the screen was pushed forward._

 _Then, she saw him._

 _Dark hair that looked impossibly soft, trimmed shorter than she knew he preferred. Big brown eyes that looked tired yet invigorated by the sight before him. A toned chest and arms outfitted in only a white t-shirt, making his buttery skin shine in the dim light of his bedroom._

 _And sure, Rey liked his hair longer, and his skin paler, because that's how she remembered the Ben of her youth, but she couldn't ignore just how…_

 _Good he looked._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _Ben rarely got excited to talk to people, but he was always in a good mood when it was time to Skype Poe. And at the sight of his brother and Finn, he couldn't help but smile and wave. But, before he could even open his mouth to say hello, Poe belted into a louder than necessary rendition of "Happy Birthday"._

 _Poe kept elbowing Finn, managing to get his boyfriend to join for at least the final verse, and only managed to shut his mouth when the last "to you!" escaped his lips. Ben, albeit a bit annoyed, only could laugh._

" _Uh, thanks Poe. It's a good thing you stopped doing choir back in high school," Ben explained, a grin across his lips._

 _Poe scoffed. "Rude. Anyways, I'm glad you have a chance to talk! We're not cutting into dinner or anything, right? And did you get our package?"_

 _Ben shook his head. "No, not yet. And dinner was an hour ago. They made me apple pie which was nice. Vanilla ice cream too."_

" _Crap. It was supposed to arrive today!" Poe paused to fume, before continuing to blabber on, "and was the pie as good as Grandma Padme's?"_

" _What kind of question is that? There's no such thing." Ben was quick to remind his brother, before glancing at Finn. The other man smiled._

" _Happy Birthday, Ben. Sorry we're not there to celebrate with you and that your present is late."_

 _Ben was quick to wave his hand. "Don't worry about it. I'm just happy we're in California for it instead of overseas."_

 _Poe frowned. "Right. You leave in a month?"_

" _Yes. On April—"_

 _But Ben stopped speaking at the sound of a squeak. He narrowed his eyes and looked over the image appearing on his screen, of his brother and Finn, looking for something out of the ordinary. And then he saw it._

 _A dainty tan ankle, barely on the edge of the screen, leading into a pair of black ballet flats._

 _Rey._

" _Rey?" He couldn't stop himself from asking._

 _And then, to his credit and his surprise, Rey poked her head into the frame._

" _Um. Hi Ben. Happy Birthday."_

 _He swallowed, momentarily speechless to see her. He didn't get to see her or speak to her a lot._

 _But he certainly thought about it a lot._

 _Far more than he should._

" _Uh. Hey. Thanks."_

 _Rey and Ben stared at each other for a few moments, no words spoken between them._

 _Poe cleared his throat and jumped up. "Finn and I will be right back! We're going to…." He bit his lip to consider his options, "Pour some champagne to toast to your birthday."_

 _Before Finn could argue, Poe grabbed his arm and pulled him out, leaving Rey in front of the screen. She cleared her throat and tentatively dropped onto the abandoned desk chair, her eyes locked on Ben._

 _They both had so much to say yet nothing at all. Another few moments of silence passed until Rey finally spoke._

" _Vanilla ice cream is so dull. Chocolate is the way to go."_

 _Ben rolled his eyes. "Please. Vanilla is a classic. If vanilla is dull, then you're dull."_

" _Oh, not uh! If I were an ice cream, I'd be like… Strawberry with bits of fruit in it. Or rainbow sorbet."_

" _Rainbow sorbet isn't ice cream. And if you were an ice cream, you'd be one of the pretentious flavors."_

 _Rey scoffed. "Pretentious ice cream flavors? Like what?"_

" _Pistachio," Ben explained, as if it was obvious._

" _Then you, Ben Solo, are pistachio flavored ice cream. Green and sad. Like the Grinch. Or maybe, the Hulk."_

" _Better than being pale and boring like vanilla."_

 _She poked at the screen. "Maybe I'd be a Choco Taco."_

 _Ben actually laughed. "That's not a flavor. If we're considering ice cream bars, then I'd be a Klondike bar."_

" _A Klondike bar? Ben that's so… pathetic."_

 _He smirked. "No, it's not. Those bars are known for what people would do for them."_

 _Rey groaned. "Nope. You'd be one of those sticky push pops we ate in the cafeteria in elementary school."_

" _The Flintstones ones were pretty good so, no complaints there, Scavenger. You used to eat the ones people didn't want."_

 _At that, Rey flushed. "Look, forgive me for embracing the concept of a sharing table! Never in my life had I seen an entire table devoted to food that people just… didn't want. And that I could just… take from."_

 _Ben's face softened. "Rey…"_

 _She cleared her throat and shook her head. "You're one of those store brand ice cream sandwiches."_

 _He rolled his eyes. "Please. I'm a caramel Magnum bar. Crunchy and rich on the outside, sweet and salty on the inside."_

 _Rey snorted and leaned back, watching him with smiling eyes. "Actually, you're not even ice cream. You're like a pudding cup."_

" _I rather be pudding then jell-o. You're the jell-o cup. And not the good flavors. You have the weird bits of fruit in you."_

 _Rey gasped and poked again at the screen, her face far too close to the camera monitor. "Not uh! If I'm the weird jell-o with fruit, then you're the weird 70s recipes with like hot dog pieces and celery!"_

" _At least I make headlines then."_

" _Ugh, Ben Solo, you are so infuriating!"_

 _-x-x-x-_

 _From outside their home office, Finn and Poe stood, holding three glasses of champagne between them. Poe glanced back into the open door and pouted._

" _I'm so mad his package didn't arrive. Now I feel like we let him down. Like we didn't get him a gift!" Poe explained, before taking a gulp from one of the glasses._

 _Finn glanced through the door opening, listening to the other two people talk._

"… _ **You, a T-bone steak? Please! I'm a filet mignon!"**_

" _ **Rey, you aren't even beef. You're like… a filet of salmon."**_

" _ **Salmon! If I'm going to be any sort of seafood, I'm caviar!"**_

" _ **How does that even make sense, Rey?!"**_

 _Finn just laughed and bit his lip. "I don't know. I think he's pretty satisfied with his gift."_

 _Poe looked back into the room and smiled a bit. "I guess so. Should we let them go?"_

" _Yeah. Let them get their fill. I'm sure he needs it."_

 _And so the couple strolled back to the living room, listening to the yelling match from the comfort of their couch._

" _ **Oh my god Ben, you are not wine!"**_

" _ **And why not? I get better with age."**_

" _ **You are so full of yourself, it's incredible!"**_

" _ **This coming from the girl who defended considering herself caviar because it was, and I quote, 'classy and worth the money'!"**_

" _ **Fine! Then I'm wine!"**_

" _ **Yes. You do whine."**_

" _ **BEN!"**_

 _-x-x-x-_

July 2018

Somewhere in the Atlantic

The intense sunlight of the afternoon was slowly disappearing, coloring the blue sky with orange and violet hues that Rey had only ever seen in photos. And perhaps it was good that the sky was so beautiful, considering she had spent far more time looking up than anywhere else.

After hearing about the tumultuous escape and Ben's heroic actions, Rey found herself dozing in and out of sleep. Finn had built an excellent fire around them and just sat with her, being so kind as to feed her bits and pieces of a granola bar that Ben had hidden deep within his bag.

That's how her day had progressed. Sitting in the sand with Finn, desperately trying to ignore the throbbing of her head, refusing to accept their circumstances. And considering Poe and Ben had continued to disappear, it had been just her and Finn.

She almost convinced herself that if she squinted her eyes, focusing only on the shoreline, that she could imagine the trip was simply an extension of the vacation. Maybe their 5-star hotel in Turks and Caicos was just behind her. That a waiter was due any moment, holding a tray of delicious salmon and a fresh margarita. That a warm bath was waiting within her room, ready to welcome her.

But that wasn't the case.

After her most recent cat nap, Finn had tossed a few more twigs onto the fire before settling on the sand beside her. He helped her relax between his legs and began to slowly gather her hair in his hands. Rey could only sniffle as he slowly touched her long locks, careful to move around her wound.

"Do you think the scar will be bad?" Rey whispered, continuing to stare at the sky, her elbows resting on Finn's knees.

From behind her, he shifted and gently combed his fingers through her hair. Using Ben's canteen, he poured a small amount of the fresh water onto her hair, washing away the dried blood. With a sigh, he set out to comb the hair again.

"No. I don't think it will be bad. Ben says he had to rush but…" Finn chuckled and began to slowly braid her hair, taking his time as to not hurt her, "I'm no doctor, but it looks like a damn close stitch."

As he reached the end of the braid, Rey pulled off the single hair tie she kept on her wrist for her emergencies and handed it to him. He quickly tied it and kissed her head, letting the braid fall to her shoulder.

"Even if it does scar, it'll be a reminder of how strong you are."

She sniffled. "More like a reminder of what Ben did for me."

A few moments of silence passed between the friends, only the sound of the ocean filtering through the air.

"Do you think we'll be okay?" Rey stuttered out, finally forcing herself to ask the question that had been haunting her all morning.

Finn sighed and dropped his chin to her shoulder, nuzzling his face into her neck. "Fuck, I don't know Rey. But at least we have a professional with us."

"Yes," Rey began again, surprised by her own voice, "And he was amazing."

As if on cue, Ben appeared from between the palm trees, his massive arms filled with pieces of fruit. Rey's knowledge of tropical fruit was limited to whatever was sold in smoothies at Jamba Juice, but she could recognize a few coconuts, mangos, and papayas flush against his chest.

Ben always looked like a man on a mission, an attribute that had proven to be as frustrating to Rey as it was sexy. That same determination was evident as he expertly dropped the fruit to a set position on the sand, before immediately moving to the fire. He grabbed an armful of twigs and began to poke at it before turning to Finn.

"Can you help Poe? He's collecting leaves, so we can build a shelter." Ben's question wasn't really a question, but he posed it as one anyway.

Finn uttered a quick "yes" and helped adjust Rey out of his hold. With another kiss to her head, he moved to the trees, eager to help his boyfriend.

Rey, now left with Ben, forced herself to sit up, ignoring the scorching pain beating in her head. She watched with pure fascination as Ben enlarged the width of the fire. But, as hypnotizing as the flames were, she couldn't stop staring at his bare chest, now covered in specks of dirt and blood.

"You're going to get sun burned." She whispered, staring at his skin.

Ben finally looked to her. "I had one shirt." He explained, his gaze dropping down to the same garment she currently wore, "And you're already hurt. Let's keep your injuries at one."

She whimpered. "Right. Um. Can I help at all?"

Ben actually had the nerve to laugh. He quickly jumped to his feet and grabbed his pack, moving his arm around inside until pulling out a small army knife and an emergency blanket. Rey watched as he retrieved from his fruit pile what appeared to a coconut before dropping on the sand beside her.

"No." Was Ben's simple response.

Rey watched as he jammed the knife into the coconut and expertly sliced the fruit open. Considering Ben's startling expertise at what seemed like everything, Rey was starting to wonder if SEAL training involved time on a deserted island. But, her thoughts were quickly interrupted as Ben handed her the coconut.

"Drink it."

Again, Rey was in no position to question Ben's authority, especially with that deep voice of his, and quickly accepted the fruit. As she took small sips of the delicious water inside, she watched Ben open the emergency blanket. By the second sip, he had the plastic sheeting wrapped around her shoulders.

With the sun disappearing and the pair sitting on the water's edge, it was chilly. Chilly enough that Rey couldn't stop staring at Ben's bare skin.

She sipped from the coconut again, watching as Ben retrieved a mango from the fruit pile and cut into it.

"Aren't you cold?"

Ben shrugged and brought a chunk of mango to his lips, flicking the juicy orange flesh straight from the blade of his knife into his waiting mouth. She couldn't look away.

"I've survived the blistering heat and the ungodly cold. I can do a slight breeze."

After another chunk, he offered a piece to Rey. She glanced at the fruit and whimpered.

"I'm not very hungry." She whispered. And it was true. The entire situation made her sick to her stomach.

Ben's piercing gaze practically drilled a hole into her skull. "Rey." He grumbled, moving the mango piece closer to her lips, "You're hurt. You need energy to heal. And you've never turned down food in your life."

With a whine, she accepted the fruit, her eyes on Ben as the sweet flesh slid down her throat. And maybe it was ridiculous that her first thought was the mango was certainly sweeter than anything she bought at Whole Foods.

God, she really needed to get her priorities straight.

"Are we going to be okay?" She asked, her mind immediately thinking about her friends and family back home.

Just the thought of poor Chewie hearing about their disappearance….

Ben took a gulp of water from his canteen and met her gaze. He nodded.

"We can't be more than 100 miles west of Bermuda. The British navy runs training in this area all the time. And trade ships pass." He leaned back and rubbed at his eyes, "Maybe it's wishful thinking but I think we'll be picked up within the week."

His words of assurance calmed her nerves momentarily. But she knew he was going to make her feel better, even if it meant lying to do so.

She studied Ben as he finished the last of the fruit, his exhaustion evident. From the bags under his eyes, to the small cuts littering his usually flawless skin, to the way his shoulders slumped…

She knew he was running on empty.

Once he finished his fruit, Rey expected him to finally collapse to the sand. But, considering Ben was always willing to surprise her, he instead slid over to her. He leaned over her body and focused on her stitches, his thick fingers gently separating her hair to eye the cut.

He cursed. "I could have made smaller incisions. Fuck."

Rey couldn't help but glance up at his looming presence, immediately noticing those gorgeous pink lips. She swallowed. "They're fine. Thank you."

He let out a grumble to appease her and scooted back to his original position. Then, to perhaps equal celebration from Rey, he finally dropped to the sand, letting his eyes finally droop closed.

"I'll have to clean it again later. It's still going to hurt like a bitch."

Rey smiled softly. "It smelled like vodka. Reminds me of college."

Ben opened an eye and glanced at her. "Only cleaning agent I have."

"I like it."

They descended into silence, Ben letting his eyes shut, his body sprawled across the sand. Rey pulled the plastic blanket closer, her eyes locked on the man in front of her.

How could this Ben Solo be the same man who only days earlier had called her a bitch?

But maybe that was always her relationship with him. Hot and cold.

It made sense, really. The two of them were polar opposites.

Or she thought. Lately, she wondered how true that really was.

And before Ben's breath turned shallow, before she could truly celebrate that he was taking a break, his eyes were back open. He quickly rose to his feet and dusted the sand off his back. She looked at him, mouth agape.

"Ben, please. Relax for a bit. You must be exhausted."

He merely shook his head and grabbed his canteen. "There's no time to be tired, Rey. As soon as Poe and Finn are back, I'm refilling the water. Poe found a river. Then, we're getting started on the shelter." He forced her to take another sip of water before continuing, "Then, if I have enough time to carve a spear, I'm going to fish."

Her mouth, if possible, opened even further. "It's going to be dark soon!"

"Exactly."

Before she could respond, Poe and Finn appeared from between the trees, arms filled with leaves as large as her torso and other foliage. Ben pointed to a spot beside a few trees about twenty feet from where she sat, and her friends quickly dropped their collections.

"I found some good, strong sticks. We can use those," Finn explained, his now free hands moving to grab Poe, "and Poe has volunteered to watch Rey while you help."

Ben nodded and glanced at Rey. "Stay here. Just… Relax. There's fruit and water if you decide you want more."

She sighed and pulled the blanket closer. "I feel so useless just sitting here. There must be something I can do."

He considered her words for a moment and groaned. "Fine." He reached into his bag and pulled out a collection of brown colored plastic sacks. He dropped them by her side. "See what MREs I have. Pull out any salt or spices. We can use it on the fish."

Rey didn't have the opportunity to respond before he ran off with Finn. She sighed and teared into the first one, labeled "CHILI WITH BEANS".

Poe dropped beside her, holding what appeared to be a banana. He took a bite of the fruit and glanced at the sand, his face forlorn. She couldn't help but frown.

"Poe…"

"This is all my fault." He muttered, before angrily biting into the fruit, "My fucking fault! I should have just agreed with Ben and turned around!"

Rey frowned and grabbed his hand. "Hey. Don't do that. I agreed with you. I encouraged us to continue. This is just as much my fault as it is yours. And it's just as much the boat manufacturer's fault as it is ours. And it's just as much mother nature's fault as it is the boat's."

Poe rubbed at his eyes. "I wanted to take this trip to propose to Finn and catch up with my best friend and my brother. Now, you have a head injury, my brother is spending his vacation on a stranded island, and the insane amount of money I spent on a ring is wasted because said ring is sitting at the bottom of the Atlantic along with the fucking Titanic!"

"Finn doesn't care about a ring. He only cares that you're okay." She squeezed his hand and forced a smile, "In fact, you should propose here. I promise, it'll be something he'll never forget. Ring or no ring."

He shrugged and looked down. "Seems like a silly thing to be thinking about right now, right? Marriage. A ring." He cursed and tossed the banana peel, "God, my poor parents…"

Rey shook her head. "Please. I don't want to think about it."

Poe nodded and squeezed her hand, the two staring at the fire until the reappearance of Finn and Ben, the two carrying thick branches to the site where they had dropped the leaves. Finn and Ben took about three trips, before settling at the spot, surrounded by branches, foliage and leaves.

With a frown, Poe shifted closer to Rey. "Ben must be exhausted. I don't know how much Finn told you, but he practically swam us here. He's like a fucking Olympian."

Rey whimpered. She didn't need to be reminded of his heroics. She'd never forget.

"Ben taught me how to swim." She managed, out of the blue.

Poe laughed softly. "Yeah. I remember. You had him in the Barbie floaties."

She giggled at the memory. "Yeah…"

"He only did it because he liked you."

Rey coughed and glanced at Poe. "Oh, please. As if he was worried about girls at ten years old."

Poe shrugged. "Maybe not girls. But definitely you."

She didn't have a chance to respond when Finn jogged over. He looked at Poe.

"Can you help me finish covering the shelter with the leaves? Ben and I got the structure up. But he wants to see if he can grab some fish before the sun completely goes down." Finn asked, taking a moment to kiss Rey's head.

Poe nodded and moved to his feet. He smiled softly at Rey. "Well. Duty calls."

The couple hurried off, leaving Rey alone. She sighed and devoted her attention back to the plastic packages at her side. She managed to pull out the salt and pepper packets from the original package, as well as ones labeled "LEMON PEPPER TUNA" and "SHREDDED BBQ BEEF" before Ben appeared, holding a long tree branch.

It took her a moment to realize that said tree branch had been carved into a spear, the end now shades lighter than the body, not to mention far sharper.

He looked like Tarzan, his hair wild and sticking to his face from sweat, his bare skin covered in dirt and blood, his hands gripping the weapon like his life depended on it.

It was fucking hot.

She must already be going crazy.

Rey gulped. "How did you make a spear so fast?"

Ben shrugged. "Determination. A good knife."

She glanced at his black bag and back to him. "Why do you bring your emergency pack everywhere?" She cleared her throat and looked away, "I mean, obviously I'm thankful considering the circumstances but…"

"Poe mocks me enough." He shifted and glanced at the shoreline, "You see a lot of stuff when your job is to fight battles, Rey. Whether your own or someone else's. I just like being prepared. If being prepared means having tweezers to pull out a splinter, or a knife so I can chop open a coconut on a deserted island, fine."

She nodded. "Well, I found some salt and pepper."

He glanced at the packages by her hip. His nose crinkled. "Lemon pepper tuna? Huh. I wonder what I was thinking when I packed that."

She shrugged. "Like you said, I'll eat anything."

Ben managed a small smile. "Yeah, well, hopefully I'll grab us some fish, so we can wait on eating those."

Rey looked at the spear and back to Ben. "I just realized that—that—you're using the spear to kill fish? How?!"

He rolled his eyes. "I stab them, Rey."

She squeaked. "Stab them? But aren't they fast? Isn't that a bit inhumane?"

Ben snorted. "You know what else is inhumane? You when you're hungry. You might be fine now, but you'll grow tired of mango real fast."

She grumbled. "I prefer my salmon grilled."

Ben smirked and started walking towards the water. "and I prefer my fish on a plate, but hey, we can't all win."

With wide eyes, Rey watched as he slowly entered the ocean, the water pooling around his calves. Then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, he studied the water, before stabbing his spear into it.

She desperately wanted to trust Ben and believe that if anyone could stab a fish, it would be him, but the logical part of her knew the easiest way to catch a fish was to wonder into a Red Lobster or the seafood section of Whole Foods. Catching any fish, let alone a few, would take Ben hours, if not days—

"I got one!" Ben cheered, before holding the spear to the air, as if to prove his point.

Rey squinted her eyes. Sure enough, with a spear through its body sat a poor fish of medium size, its body slowly stopping its squirming. To her horror, Ben grabbed a carbineer clip from his belt loop and jammed it through the fish, before clipping its carcass to his hip.

Yeah, Rey couldn't watch anymore. She shut her eyes.

She found the salt. Surely that was help enough.

-x-x-x-

About an hour later, the four sat around the fire, feasting on the fish Ben had caught. Almost as surprising as the ease at which he caught said fish was also his ability to prepare them. Preparing them for cooking took him only moments, and he was quick to remind Rey that Han had dragged both him and Poe on countless fishing expeditions during their youth.

And she couldn't complain. While she hadn't been terribly hungry earlier, she was by the time the sun went down. Ben had caught four nice sized fish (he seemed to think it was tuna, but the tuna Rey usually ate was prepared by sushi chef, so what did she know?) and everyone seemed to be happy by the meal.

Finn and Poe had finished setting up the structures. In fact, Rey had been paying so little attention to their activities, that it wasn't until they were finished that she realized two makeshift structures had been built, not one large one as she originally had assumed.

She didn't let herself dwell on that fact for long as the men around her rose up, quick to cleanup the waste from their meal. In fact, Rey usually hated being useless, but she couldn't deny the joy she got from watching three men take care of her.

After a quick sip from the canteen, she noticed Finn drop beside her, a composed look on his face. Poe and Ben wandered to their wood stock pile, grabbing armfuls of twigs to add to the fire.

From beside her, Finn cleared his throat. She knew what he was going to say before the words even left his lips.

"About tonight…"

She shifted on the sand and sighed. "You want me to share with Ben so you can sleep with Poe."

Finn frowned. "I know it isn't ideal…"

She shrugged. "Not like I haven't slept with him before." She dropped her hands to the sand, her fingertips playing in the white covering, "Besides, he's bigger than you and Poe. He'd keep me warmer."

Her friend laughed. "I just needed to ask. In case it made you uncomfortable."

"Well, I wouldn't say I was necessarily _comfortable_ but… I almost died. I can spend a night with Ben Solo."

Finn kissed her head. "Get some sleep, okay?"

She merely nodded and watched him meet Poe only feet away. After a chaste kiss, the couple climbed underneath the structure, their disappearance leaving Rey alone.

Well, not alone. She could feel Ben watching her from the shoreline. He moved back to her, stopping at her feet. Before dinner, he had taken a short dunk in the river, cleaning his skin of the dirt that armfuls of sticks and fruit had covered him in. Now, by the fire, his skin shinned in the moonlight.

"Hey." He grumbled, his deep voice causing a fluttering in her stomach, "You need anything before bed?"

She swallowed. "No. I took more ibuprofen before we ate."

"Good. But we need to start rationing it. Just to be safe."

His words were ominous, even if he didn't intend them to be.

Rey nodded and took a deep breath, silently preparing herself for the energy required to stand up, a feat she had only done once today, when earlier Finn helped her move to the tree line to pee. But, before she could even lift herself to her feet, she was hauled into Ben's arms.

She squeaked and met his gaze. Ever determined, he strolled towards the shelter.

"I can walk," She stammered out, her arms quickly wrapping around his neck, "I have a cut on my head. Not a broken leg."

Ben rolled his eyes and dropped to his knees, placing Rey beneath the covering. The men had used the branches and leaves to create small, albeit protective shelters, a covering that hovered over them at about a 45-degree angle. From below, they could still view the shoreline and their fire, despite at least being somewhat protected from potential rain.

He helped her settle down, before covering her with the space blanket. Even in the darkness, she couldn't keep her eyes off of him, despite only recognizing the outline of his thick frame. She heard him settle beside her, their sides pressed up against each other in the small space.

They laid like that for a few moments, completely in silence.

Finally, Ben spoke. "It's called a lean-to shelter," He explained, his voice clearly tired, "I wish I could say I learned this in training, but actually it was from those ridiculous survival shows Han always watched."

Rey laughed softly. "Not so stupid now, is it?"

"Yeah, I guess not."

The sound of the waves was pleasant, albeit a constant reminder of their situation. She hoped it would lull her to sleep. Yet, despite her exhaustion, she found herself desperate to talk to Ben.

"Thank you."

She could feel Ben's gaze on her.

"For what?"

She sighed and turned to look at him, no matter how little she could make out. "For saving my life."

"Oh. That. Don't worry about it."

Rey groaned. "That? Ben, you saved me. I could have died."

He merely chuckled, something Rey found incredibly infuriating but also incredibly sexy. "That's what I do for a living. So, don't worry about it. I never would have left without you. No matter how annoying you are."

Rey couldn't help herself as she slid her hand through the sand, finding his. She squeezed it softly.

"Thank you."

He cleared his throat and squeezed it back. "Yeah. Don't mention it."

Rey finally willed herself to close her eyes. With the sound of the ocean, and Ben's breathing in the background, she was ready to fall asleep.

And so she did, her tiny hand enveloped in the massive one beside her, all throughout the night.


	9. Hansel and Gretel

_March 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Denver Coliseum_

 _The piercing sound of the halftime buzzer was a welcome relief to Ben's ears as his back hit the smooth wooden floor of the court. Dryden was quick to run over and offer him a hand up, looking just as exhausted as Ben felt._

" _Fuck, Maul looks furious," Dryden hissed as Ben jumped to his feet. The pair glanced at the scoreboard, looking for picture proof of the score they already knew._

 _ **44-30**_

 _Ben grumbled and ran a hand through his sweaty tresses, stumbling behind Dryden towards their bench. Once at the sideline, he accepted a water bottle from their team manager and squirted a very necessary stream into his mouth. He had only managed to wipe a drop of sweat from his eyes when his coach appeared before him._

 _Considering his black trousers and button down, Maul clearly thought he was an NBA coach. But even with the excessive gel he had smoothed into his black hair, his rosy red cheeks made it impossible to take him seriously._

" _What the fuck was that stunt out there?" Maul hissed, pointing to the score board, "I am this close to a fucking state championship and my captain is trying to ruin my legacy!"_

 _Ben handed the bottle back to the team manager and shook his head. "Their center is massive. I thought if I—"_

" _That was your first mistake!" Maul hissed, "You thought anything. You listen to me and only to me. It's the only fucking chance we have at taking this game back."_

 _Maul turned to the rest of his players and pointed towards the door. "Everyone get to the locker room. I have ten minutes to whip you idiots into shape. I will not have these asshats from Endor win another championship!"_

 _The rest of the team let out cheers of agreement and followed Maul out. Ben, however, stayed behind, and looked around the massive arena. It was probably fitting that his final basketball game would be played in the biggest arena of his life. For once, he wasn't sweltering in a high school gym, but instead on a professional stage._

 _In fact, now, he wished it was smaller, if just to see where his family sat. Because speaking to Han that morning was the most excited he had ever seen his father for something that he was involved with. When Ben played basketball, he felt close to his father._

 _And somewhere in that arena, he and Leia were wearing Tatooine Basketball shirts, watching him fuck up._

 _He could, however, see his brother. There was a giant crowd of students in blue and gold, screaming next to a rival group of students in green and silver. Poe took school spirit seriously, so he immediately spotted his brother in the front row, wearing a blue body suit, his face painted gold._

 _This was typical Ben too. He felt like he was always letting his family down. No matter his decisions, they always seemed contrary to what everyone else wanted. And here was something everyone agreed on—winning this game and bringing glory to his school and legacy—and he was playing the worst he had in years._

 _He sighed and finally forced himself out of the buzzing gym, knowing his coach was ripping into his teammates in the locker room, especially in the absence of their captain. But when he stumbled into the gloomy hallway, he found himself alone with the last person he expected to see._

" _Rey?"_

 _Standing only feet away, hugging a container of popcorn larger than her head, Rey met his gaze. Clearly under Poe's influence, she was clad in their school colors, including splatters of blue and gold paint across her cheeks. But, most surprising to him was the Tatooine basketball t-shirt she wore. One, that based on the enormous size on her and the name 'Solo' on the back, belonged to him._

" _Ben!" She squeaked out, before hugging the popcorn tighter to her chest, "Uh… I was looking for the bathroom."_

" _With your popcorn?" He couldn't help but ask. He glanced at the entrance to the locker room, knowing he was needed, but decided to stay._

 _Rey cleared her throat and shrugged. "Um. Good game out there."_

 _He nearly snorted and ran a hand through his sweaty hair. "That's a joke. I look like shit."_

 _She frowned. "No, you don't. You're the best player out there and you know it."_

" _I'm definitely not, Rey."_

" _Ben!" She exclaimed, before moving closer to him, "You had like a billion offers. You're the Gatorade Player of the Year. You guys are undefeated this season." She munched on a handful of popcorn, a move that seemed just so very Rey, and smiled, "You're not going to let your self-doubt stop you from kicking ass."_

 _He cleared his throat and looked away, suddenly having trouble meeting her hazel eyes. "I didn't think you cared much for basketball."_

 _She laughed. "Please! To miss out on Poe acting like an idiot and the biggest thing to happen to our school since the pet iguana escaped? I don't think so."_

 _Ben swallowed and finally met her gaze. "I don't think I can do this. Maybe I should just have Maul pull me out."_

 _Rey frowned and poked at the embroidered 'C' on his chest. "No. This means you're the captain. You run the show. You guys can't win a championship without you out there."_

" _Rey—"_

" _No! Stop! Hold this—" She interrupted, before handing him her popcorn bucket. He watched her reach into her pockets, finding a gold sharpie. She grinned and tugged his free hand into hers._

" _Chewie used to do this for me before big tests. Always made me smile," She explained, before she began to scribble on his hands._

 _If someone had told Ben that during the state championship basketball game, he'd be standing in the hallway to the locker room during halftime, holding a bucket of popcorn as Rey wrote on his sweaty hands, he would have laughed._

 _Yet, in seconds, she was finished, and retrieving her bucket. "Hey. You're a lot of things. Moody, grumpy, a bit annoying. But you're also an amazing basketball player," Rey explained, her lips lifting into a smile, "So go out there and kick some butt!"_

 _Ben didn't have a chance to respond before she was flying off, bits of popcorn dropping in her getaway, like breadcrumbs from Hansel and Gretel. He was so tempted to follow, but thankfully was knocked out of his reverie by Dryden peeking out of the locker room._

" _Oh, thank fuck. Get inside!" Dryden hissed, "We have four minutes until we need to get back to the court!"_

 _Ben nodded dumbly and followed his shooting guard inside. Maul's yelling was immediately audible once inside the facility, but he took a moment to glance down at the words Rey had scribbled down._

 _ **I believe in you**_

 _-x-x-x-_

 _Thirty-five minutes later, when the last buzzer finally went off, the arena went into a frenzy. But as Ben embraced his teammates, and his family, and was interviewed by the local paper about their come-from-behind victory, the only thing he cared about was the continued presence of thirteen golden letters on the top of his hand._

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Somewhere in the Atlantic

Rey was used to rising early for work, but she never had woken up to the sunrise. But, given their situation, it made sense for the warm glow to force her eyes open. It also allowed her a moment to adjust to her current position.

Unlike the previous night, when she fell asleep inches from Ben, she was now fully entwined in his arms. His big, thick, arms, that kept her entire body warm. She could feel his face buried in the base of her neck and based on the soft tufts of air blowing against her skin, she knew he was asleep.

It made sense. She had a perfect view of the ocean. His view was of her back.

For a moment, Rey thought back to the last time she woke up in a man's arms. Well, sober, at least, since only a few nights ago she woke up wrapped around Ben.

At any rate, even when she woke up in Snap's arms, it was never this warm, or comfortable, or intoxicating. Despite his weekly Pilates classes, Snap was not what she would have called fit. Not by the American _or_ the British definition of the word.

And then there was the poignant reminder of her night with Ben pushing against her clothed ass. It was a large reminder too, if her memory served her properly.

Rey sighed and pressed her hips back against his sleeping form, moaning as his erection greedily pressed against her own special place. She momentarily considered rutting against him like a helpless animal in heat, but decided with Poe and Finn only feet away, that probably wasn't the smartest idea.

"Are they still asleep?" She heard Finn whisper, followed by the sound of wood being tossed into their makeshift fire pit.

After a few moments of what sounded like kicked sand and cracking wood, Poe's head peaked in and met Rey's sleep gaze. "Rey is," He told Finn behind him, before looking back to Rey, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," She mumbled, before feeling Ben tighten his grip around her and pull her even closer to his sleeping form, "But Ben is using me as a teddy bear."

Poe grinned. "That's a bit more innocent than I'm sure he had in mind."

From behind Rey, she heard Ben grumble. "Fuck off, Poe," His sleepy voice replied.

She nearly whimpered as Ben pulled his arms away and sat up. He rubbed at his eyes and groaned, before looking at his brother, who still awkwardly stood hunched below their shelter. "We need more wood for the fire. And fish. Rey needs to eat."

Poe nodded and looked at Rey. "Yeah, you've got another day of her eating only fruit before she tries to bite one of us."

Rey grumbled and rubbed her eyes. "Why am I being singled out? You're all the big men who need protein."

"Because you like to eat, Peanut," Finn piped in, appearing behind Poe outside of the shelter, "And you're injured."

Ben grunted and waved his hands. "Alright, enough of you two. Give me a few minutes to clean her wounds and get settled."

Poe nodded and pulled Finn away, their disappearance inviting the sunlight back into the shelter. Rey glanced over at Ben, watching as he flipped onto his knees and looked down at her. She couldn't help but glance down to his crotch, secretly thrilled to still see his morning excitement.

He followed her gaze and grunted. "Don't be a tease, scavenger. There's enough going on as it is." He gently gripped her chin and forced her to meet his gaze, "I need to clean your wound," he explained, his voice still heavy from sleep.

Rey gulped and nodded, suddenly unable to speak at his close proximity. And fuck, was he close, those chocolate eyes gazing down into hers. She couldn't stop herself from dropping her hooded gaze to his lips. They looked so soft and pink and plump even when he was probably nearly dehydrated from the sun and his constant movement.

In fact, she considered that in other circumstances, he'd be close enough to kiss her. And then she could finally know what it felt like to lock lips with Ben Solo, because despite the hot drunken sex they had shared, she still had no idea what kissing him felt like.

A kiss, perhaps the most intimate embrace of all, was still a mystery.

And fuck, now she wanted one more than anything. She swallowed and leaned forward, letting her eyes flutter closed.

But at the burning feeling of a liquid meeting her cut, her eyes shot open and a cry left her lips. "Fuck!"

Ben sighed and used a pad of gauze to clean the wound. "Sorry, Rey. I told you it would hurt."

She sniffled and looked at the sand, letting Ben continue his movements. Now she felt like a moron, too distracted by the asshole's lips to even realize what was going on.

Sometimes, around him, she still felt like she was sixteen years old. It was unfair. Because if she had to wager, she'd bet she didn't elicit a similar reaction from Ben. Maybe if she were naked, but certainly not on a normal basis.

Ben Solo had forever been an anomaly. No matter how many classes she took or degrees she earned or years of wisdom she acquired, he was a mystery she was unable to solve.

Like a puzzle she was missing a piece for, no matter how many years she spent looking for it.

Rey sniffled and wiped away a few tears, irritated that the burn of the alcohol was still enough to make her cry. She watched as Ben climbed out from the shelter, before turning around and lifting her up. She figured she'd be used to that too, but boy was she wrong.

Ben moved towards the shoreline, holding her flush against his body. All she could do was wrap her arms around his neck, willing herself to pretend this was a tropical getaway and not her worst nightmare.

He stopped walking suddenly, his eyes locked on two embracing figures sitting by the water. Rey followed his gaze and couldn't help but smile. Finn sat between Poe's legs, the pair just on the edge of the water, letting the waves crash against their feet. They passed pieces of fruit between one another, whispering and chewing contently.

"Look at them," Ben began, before starting to walk once more, "Only they could turn this into a romantic vacation."

Rey whimpered and rested her head against his chest. "I think it's cute."

Stopping once again, Ben lowered her to the sand surrounding the fire pit. "As long as Poe is smiling. He was beating himself up yesterday."

She watched as he grabbed two large mangoes from the pile he created yesterday and dropped to the space beside her. He pulled his knife out from his pocket and began to expertly cut into the fruit.

"I should enjoy this mango now," Rey began, with a soft laugh, "Because I don't think I'll ever eat it again when we get home."

Ben simply nodded and handed her half a mango, perfectly diced along the peel. He tossed the pit into the fire and bit into his half.

They munched in silence, staring off into the water, until Ben let out a soft laugh. Given the previous silence, and the rare occurrence of Ben's laughter, Rey couldn't help but look at him with wide eyes.

"Is something funny?" She asked, chewing on the sweet fruit.

He chuckled and shook his head. "I don't know. It's pretty funny. My brother rented a yacht. It sunk. We're on a desert island."

Rey could only grin and shake her head. They quickly consumed the mango, followed by a papaya, and then a granola bar that Ben pulled from his bag and nearly forced Rey to eat. As she chomped on a raisin, she couldn't help but watch as Ben began to pile sticks and kindling a few feet from the existing fire.

"What are you doing?" She asked, practically hypnotized by the flexing muscles in his arms.

He ran a hand through his sweaty hair and began to grab more sticks from their pile. "I'm creating two new fires. It's a distress signal we're taught. Do things in threes. That and smoke signals."

Rey finished the bar and nodded. "Can I help?"

"No."

She groaned and rose to her feet. "Ben. I'm dying here. Can't I—"

"Don't even say that in jest, Rey," He growled out, his voice far more serious than she expected, "Just please. Sit down and let me get these fires started."

With a frown, she nodded and settled into the sand, watching Ben's skin glimmer in the sunlight.

-x-x-x-

A few hours later, two new fires were roaring along with their original one, a large triangle formed by the pits. Poe and Finn had collected more wood and fruit, and Rey couldn't help but giggle as she watched Finn use a giant stick to carve out 'SOS' into the sand.

It had taken him three tries, as it seemed no matter how far inland he wrote, one ambitious wave would wipe out his hard work. Finally, he found a perfect placement, and the letters were written into the sand.

Now, midday, Ben and Poe were fishing, leaving Finn to keep Rey company. As much as she enjoyed watching Ben work, he had become cold after their earlier interaction. She wasn't sure what she had said or done, but their once relaxed banter had disappeared.

Finn and Rey were weaving palms and leaves together after convincing themselves that making baskets wouldn't be too difficult. After about twenty minutes they realized it was no simple feat, but still continued, trying to make something of use.

They were sitting in silence, only the sound of the ocean and an occasion complaint from Poe audible. Finn, however, broke that with a clearing of his throat.

"Peanut, I wanted to tell you something," Finn began, staring at the palms in his hand like his life depended on it. Rey made a noise of acknowledgement, so he continued. "Well, Poe proposed to me."

Rey glanced over to the man next to her, meeting his chocolate gaze. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips. "Really? When?"

"When we were collecting wood. We found a waterfall and it was…" He shook his head, clearly blushing, "It seems so stupid, given the circumstances, but it was so romantic. And then he dropped down on one knee and he gave me this." Finn held up his hand, showing the braided palm on his ring finger, "Knowing Poe, he spent hours on this."

With a whimper, Rey threw her arms around her friend. "Oh, Finn, I'm so happy for you!" She kissed his cheek and sniffled, "You two are soul mates. I'm convinced of it."

He blushed and nodded. "I love him so much."

Almost on cue, his now fiancé glanced over from the water and grinned. He offered both Finn and Rey a generous wave before devoting his attention back to the water. Ben glanced back over to the pair, but immediately set his gaze on Rey.

Even at their current distance, she couldn't help but flush under his intense gaze. After a few moments, he finally returned to his fishing. Beside her, Rey could feel Finn fidgeting.

"So…. You and Ben?" Finn asked casually, still pretending to be enamored with the horribly misshapen palm weave in from of him, "How were the sleeping arrangements last night?"

Rey cleared her throat and set her weave down. It at least could be used as a plate. She looked at Finn. "Fine. Warm. It's not like I haven't slept with him before."

Her comment made Finn smirk. "Right. Any chance of a repeat performance?"

She glanced back at the water, watching as Ben raised his spear to the air, two poor fish impaled at the bottom. Giving Finn an answer would be nearly impossible. She had no idea what would happen. She had no idea what she wanted.

Well, that was partially true. She knew her body would be very happy for a repeat performance. But could her heart do that?

"I never know what Ben is thinking," She whispered, forcing herself to tear her gaze from Ben, "But yeah, I'd be happy for some hot sex. If we're stuck here, there needs to be some amusement."

Finn snorted. "Well, I can show you the waterfalls."

She made a face. "I take it that you and Poe have already broken them in?"

"Finders get first dibs so uh, yeah."

Rey giggled and pushed his shoulder. "Will you be a Solo?"

He smirked and nodded. "Yeah, I think so." He yawned and squeezed her hand, "Play your cards right Peanut and you can be too."

She flushed at the thought and shook her head.

Ben Solo didn't date.

-x-x-x-

 _December 2016_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Solo Residence_

 _Rey wandered into the massive Solo kitchen, her arms filled with the last-minute decorations Leia needed before her annual Christmas party. They only had two days left to prepare, but with Ben's arrival the previous evening, the family was quickly becoming distracted._

 _She set the shopping bags on the table and grabbed a fresh gingerbread cookie, watching as Ben argued with his mother. She raised an eyebrow and sat beside Poe, who watched the interaction with pure fascination._

" _Benjamin, I think you're being quite ungrateful about this! I went out of my way to set this up, and now you're refusing to do it? How do you think that makes me feel? How do you think that will make her feel?" Leia asked, adding in a sniffle that Rey was certain was fake, for good measure._

 _Ben groaned and pulled at his hair. "Ma, I explicitly asked you not to do it! Can you really blame me for saying no?"_

 _After finishing her cookie, Rey leaned close to Poe. "What are they arguing about?" She whispered._

 _Poe smirked. "Mom set him up on a blind date for tomorrow night. Ben's not happy."_

 _At Poe's words, Rey began to cough on the last bit of gingerbread, forcing Poe to smack at her back. She quickly grabbed herself a glass of water and took a gulp, now incredibly invested in the conversation between mother and son._

" _Would you please reconsider? It's just one date," Leia reminded, before her lips quirked into a smile, "Unless, of course, you like her. And then it can be much more than that."_

 _Ben groaned and rubbed at his temples. "Yeah? And how does that work if she lives in Denver, mom? I don't live here full time."_

 _Leia grinned and clasped her hands together, looking ever like an evil-mastermind. "Actually, Bazine lives in San Diego. She's only in town for a conference."_

 _He muttered too himself but eventually nodded. "Fine. I'll go out with her."_

" _Oh, you just made me so happy!" Leia squealed, before turning to look at Poe, "You're next! You better be putting a ring on that boy's finger and soon!"_

 _With a proud smirk, Leia waltzed out of the room, a now flushed Poe following close behind. Ben, however, remained, examining the gingerbread cookies resting on their cooling rack._

 _Rey cleared her throat. "So…." She began, intent on ignoring the way her cheeks had tinged pink, "A date? I didn't think Ben Solo went on dates."_

 _He shrugged and grabbed a cookie. "My mother seems hellbent on getting me in a relationship. Especially with Poe all figured out," He took a bite of the cookie and continued, "I think she thinks I'm lonely."_

 _Rey glanced down, suddenly unable to meet his chocolate gaze. She cleared her throat. "Are you?" She began, "Lonely, I mean?"_

 _Ben stared at her, only responding when her gaze met his. "Are you?"_

 _She frowned and began to pick at her nails. "Maybe a bit."_

" _Likewise, scavenger."_

 _She cleared her throat and forced herself to look away. "Well, Rose's sister keeps trying to set me up with this guy. Maybe I'll finally tell her yes."_

 _Ben blinked and nodded. "If that's what you want."_

 _They stared at each other for a moment, not a sound between them._

" _It'll do."_

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Somewhere in the Atlantic

After fishing with Poe, Ben had prepared the group food at midday, content to just listen to the harmless chatter between the other three. He had never been a man of many words, and while that drove some of the people closest to him in his life, mainly his mother and his brother crazy, that was just who he was.

At any rate, he had only disappeared for about five minutes to find a good place in the trees to pees, when he returned to find Rey and Finn gone. Poe was busy chomping away on a banana and staring at the ocean when Ben appeared beside them.

"Where did Finn and Rey go?" He asked, not liking the idea of Rey wandering around given her injury.

Poe rolled his eyes. "Relax, will you? She's fine. We found a waterfall earlier. She wanted to see it."

Ben crossed his arms. "Take me to see it."

"Are you serious? Weren't you the one who said someone should stay here at all times?"

With a grumble, Ben nodded, knowing his own words were being used against him. He forced himself to relax, knowing that she would be fine with Finn.

That was, of course, until Finn reappeared, a bushel of bananas in his arms. Ben growled.

"Where the fuck is Rey?" He asked, storming towards Finn.

Finn rolled his eyes and set the fruit down. "She wanted to bathe. I'm not going to watch her."

"You can't leave her alone!" Ben nearly roared, before pulling at his messy locks, "She's fucking injured and there could be animals out there! Snakes and shit!"

"Then go to her if you're going to be an ass about it," Finn retorted, before sitting beside his fiancé, "It's to the right of that double-trunked palm tree. By the big lot of mangoes."

Ben growled and stormed off, following Finn's directions. He didn't appreciate the implication that he was being controlling with Rey's care. She was injured, and it fucking pissed him off that his brother, and Finn, and even Rey herself didn't truly understand just how horribly things could have gone.

Cuts are bad. Bleeding is worse. But cuts and bleeding on the head are by far the most dangerous.

He took a moment to take a deep breath, trying not to think of the alternative. Thinking of worst circumstances would make him vomit and given the little food he had in him now, that wasn't exactly ideal.

At the sight of the double-trunked palm tree, he veered right, making note of a tree filled with what he believed to be passion fruit. Within a few minutes, he found himself at the edge of a ravine, a rather large pool of beautifully clear water encased by countless large rocks. It was far larger than the stream he had been collecting fresh water from and far more beautiful too.

He glanced at the hard rock at the northern end of the pool, momentarily distracted by the falling water. It looked to be at least twelve feet high, and based on the protruding rock, split into three steady streams, flowing back into the clear pool.

It was the picture definition of paradise, and for a moment, Ben forgot where he was. With the sound of the water, he allowed himself to think he was relaxing on vacation, instead of fighting for survival.

But, that fantasy was short lived. It was soon replaced with another.

Because standing below the waterfall, clad in nothing but golden skin was Rey, her head lolled back as the stream cascaded onto her naked form.

Ben was paralyzed. Absolutely paralyzed as he watched her, her hands running along her naked form, droplets of water covering every inch of her smooth skin.

It took him a few moments to shake himself out of his stupor, but he was quick to approach the edge. "Rey!" He yelled, immediately getting her attention. He momentarily enjoyed the look of surprise on her face, but even more enjoyed the way that she didn't even attempt to cover her body, "You're not supposed to be alone!"

She rolled her eyes and began to rub at a patch of dirt on her arm. "Finn didn't fancy watching me bathe."

"Well, good thing I don't mind." Ben dropped his shorts, deciding to leave his boxers on as to not embarrass himself given the semi he was already sporting, and dropped into the water. It was cool, but not cold, and a pleasant temperature on his skin.

He waddled towards her, unable to stop his gaze from dropping to her perky chest, and beautifully pink nipples. Once beside the roaring water, he met her gaze.

"You gotta be careful with this pressure on your cut!" He yelled over the water, "You can't damage the stitches."

"Then help me." She remarked, before paddling closer to him.

He cursed and began to gently bring water to her hair, careful to avoid her cut. She continued to rub the water all over her arms and chest, humming gently.

"Done," He muttered, keen to see her turn around. And when she did, he was again convinced he was hallucinating. Because in that water, with nothing but droplets on her gorgeous skin, she looked like a dream.

She paddled back to the falling water and let it hit her chest, squeals of delight escaping her lips. Ben grunted and swam after her. He quickly joined her and let the water soak his hair, immediately brushing his now wet locks back with his fingers.

"Isn't this beautiful?" She yelled, laughing as the water cascaded along her beautiful breasts, "Makes everything just about worth it, doesn't it?"

Ben merely grunted and nodded, too busy watching Rey swim and splash around, every inch of exposed skin making him harder and harder.

Finally, Rey swam to one of the shallower edges, propping herself against a large rock. She let out a soft sigh, enjoying the sunlight that peaked between the trees, and the immediate drying quality it had on her wet skin.

He simply watched, still under the falls, too delighted by her naked skin to speak or move. That was, until, she gave him a lazy smile and ran a hand down her stomach, resting it between her legs.

His eyes widened, watching as she parted her legs, her hand beginning to rub at her flesh leisurely. Her eyes fluttered shut and her lips parted into a delightful 'o'. It took him a moment to wake up, but Ben was immediately paddling over.

"Fuck, Rey," He grunted out, settling in the water before her, his eyes locked on her moving hand, "What are you doing?" He barely managed to choke out.

She moaned and continued her gentle prodding. "What does it look like I'm doing?" She retorted, a soft moan following her words, "There were other reasons why I sent Finn off."

Ben groaned and moved closer, his cock now fully hard below the water. "You don't need to be alone for this, Rey. I've been taking care of you since we got here. I'm not finished."

Rey moaned and opened her eyes, her hazel gaze sending another jolt to his cock. She bit her lip and stopped her ministrations, now looking at him expectantly. "You sure, Solo?"

He merely grunted and rushed forward, dropping in the water to his knees. Pulling her forward on the rock, he let her toned legs rest on his shoulders, before pressing his lips to her inner thigh. At the way she squealed and jolted forward, he nearly wet his pants.

She stared at him, her hazel gaze wide and impenetrable, watching as his kisses moved from the soft skin of her thigh to the crux between her legs. And when his tongue took one eager swipe along her swollen folds, she let out a cry and thrusted forward.

Ben grunted, encouraged by her noises, and began to lick in earnest, his tongue exploring every curve and crevice of her core, the vague memory of doing this while drunk emerging from the shadows of his subconscious. His tongue prodded at her weeping hole, his cock jumping at the memory in rhythm with his tongue.

Once her hands found his wet hair, he began to suck at her clit, enjoying the squeals of pleasure and the way she dug her heels into his upper back. And as his tongue and lips worked at her clit, he pressed a finger into her soaking heat, moaning himself at the tightness.

He wished he remembered more of his first time doing this. Because Rey was fucking responsive, moaning and whimpering and shaking every time he did anything. It was the hottest fucking thing he had ever seen and all he wanted was _more_ and _again_ and _forever_.

With another finger pressed into her, she let out one final squeal, her body shaking. He continued to lick and suck at the engorged nub, his fingers continuing their brutally deliciously pace into her. He didn't stop as she shook, only finally relenting as her arms dropped to her sides, just soft moans escaping her perfect lips.

Ben finally stopped his ministrations and gently set her legs down, meeting her hazel gaze. Her eyes were glassy, and the content smile on her lips was the hottest thing he had ever seen. With her eyes on him, he couldn't help but bring his fingers to his mouth, sucking away the last of her goodness.

She moaned and squeezed her chest. "Fuck, Ben," She whimpered, "Why are you so good at that?"

He wanted to give a snarky response, but all he could think about was the sheer number of times he imagined doing the same thing. Except, normally, said fantasies were while tucked into his childhood bed, or his cot while deployed.

In fact, if he was being honest with himself, it was a fantasy that existed since he discovered what oral sex even was.

She slid off the rock, back into the water, and moved towards him. What she wanted was as obvious on her face as it was in his pants.

Unfortunately, he took one look at the sky, and knew they couldn't. Every bone and nerve in his body, his cock especially, was screaming at him to ignore his training and to take this woman over every inch of rock.

But with those storm clouds hovering, he had to get them to shelter. He growled and moved forward, lifting Rey into his arms, before climbing out of the water. He desperately ignored her soft kisses on his neck as he stumbled around the rocks, trying to locate her clothes. When he found them, he set her down, having to close his eyes as her body slid down his, his cock bouncing excitedly.

"You gotta get dressed," He muttered, before grabbing her bikini and his shirt that she had been wearing.

Rey glanced at the clothes in his hands and then to the raging erection hidden behind his boxers. She glanced back to him and narrowed her eyes. "But—"

He growled and forced her to take the clothes. "Believe me Rey, there's nothing I'd rather do. But it's about to storm and we can't be here when it happens."

She glanced at the sky and sighed, before accepting the clothes. As she slipped back into her clothes, Ben located his shorts and fixed himself. Then, before she could argue, he lifted her back into his arms and started jogging back to his brother and Finn, desperately trying to ignore how difficult the task was with a raging hard on.

Deep down, the logical part of him knew he could simply have her hold onto his back, effectively giving her a piggy back ride. But, maybe it was the caveman in him, but he just loved holding her bridal style, positively addicted to the way she held onto his neck, occasionally meeting his gaze.

As the first rain began to fall, they escaped the tree line. Poe and Finn were still huddled around the fire, simply holding hands and talking.

"It's gonna storm," Ben barked, moving towards the shelter, "Get in and use the space blanket I gave you. It might be a long night."

Wordlessly, Poe and Finn followed his orders, only offering him and Rey curious glances. Once Ben was satisfied that they were secure, he tucked Rey underneath their shelter, and slid in after her. He had only tucked her under his space blanket when the sky really opened up, Ben watching with a sigh as their fires were destroyed.

"Ben?" She whispered, her eyes locked on his form.

He finally tore his gaze away from the torrential downpour and met hers. "Yeah?"

"We're not finished," Was all she whispered, her wet hair now clinging to her cheeks.

He swallowed and nodded. "Get some sleep, Rey."

Ben could tell she wanted to argue, especially since that was her specialty, but instead, she shut her eyes.

He didn't stop watching her until he was certain she was asleep.


	10. White Elephant

_May 2017_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Mos Eisley Cantina_

 _When Ben strolled into the Mexican restaurant he grew up frequenting after basketball games, he was relieved to see that almost nothing had changed. The floors were still in desperate need of cleaning, the bar still served eighteen types of tequila, and his senior basketball jersey was still hung on the wall above one of the booths towards the back of the place._

 _To this day, Ben figured it was the only time he had ever seen Han truly proud of him, standing in the Denver Coliseum, cheering his team on to a State Championship win._

 _But that didn't matter now. He was his second day into a week-long trip back home. It wasn't often he was able to take lengthy breaks outside of the holiday season, so the two weeks of leave had come as a blessing in disguise. He immediately flew home and would spend the other week just sleeping and reading in his apartment back in San Diego._

 _Those breaks were always the loneliest. But, after time with his family in Denver, they were necessary. He always needed some time to readjust. Being around his family was sensory overload._

 _Following Poe and Finn, Ben slid into one of the familiar booths, taking a moment to inhale the smell of garlic and lime and steak. It made his stomach growl and momentarily distracted him from the way Poe babbled on._

" _Anyways, you remember the guy I told you Rey was seeing a few months ago?" Poe asked, before grabbing a menu and tearing into it._

 _Ben glanced away from the menu in his hands and towards his brother. He did remember. For some reason, the news gave him trouble sleeping for a few nights, but he was pretty certain that was due to some bad turkey the canteen had fed them._

 _But that was in February. Why was Poe bringing it up now?_

" _Yeah, vaguely," Ben responded, as passive as ever._

 _Poe yawned and pointed behind Ben. "Well, they're still together and they're joining us."_

 _Ben blinked before looking over his shoulder, his eyes immediately landing on the incoming couple._

 _Dressed in a figure-hugging white dress and a pair of sandals, Rey looked ever as beautiful. Her brown locks were halfway pinned back, leaving some of the soft tresses to glide across her neck with every step she took. Beside her, Snap wore exactly what Ben expected a Princeton graduate to wear to a cheap Mexican restaurant._

 _The moron wore a blazer and pair of khaki pants._

 _Ben's eyes dropped to their hands, flinching as soon as he noticed their attachment. He cleared his throat and turned back to Poe._

" _Good for her," Ben muttered, before glancing back at the menu._

 _But his reading was immediately distracted as the couple appeared, sliding into the booth and exchanging hellos with Poe and Finn. It went silent for a moment, and Ben just knew without looking that everyone was waiting for him to acknowledge their presence._

 _He set the menu down and met Rey's familiar, hazel gaze. "Rey."_

" _Ben. Welcome back," She began, just the sound of her voice causing his heart to beat a bit faster. She smiled at her boyfriend and looked back to Ben, "Snap, this is Poe's brother, Ben. Ben, this is my boyfriend, Snap Wexley."_

 _Snap grinned and held out his perfectly manicured hand. "Nice to meet you! Thank you for your service, man."_

 _Ben sighed and shook the guy's hand, knowing he needed to be polite. "Likewise," He mumbled, before focusing back on the menu._

 _Unfortunately for Ben, Snap wasn't satisfied with just a hello. "So, I've heard so much about you! You're in the army, right?"_

 _Ben couldn't help but tense up. He set the menu down and glared at the man across from him. "Navy. I'm a SEAL," He explained, desperately trying to keep his voice polite._

 _Snap nodded, as intrigued as ever. "That's so awesome. You guys killed Bin Laden, right?"_

 _With a squeak, Rey gently smacked Snap's arm. "Snap, come on. You know he doesn't want to talk about that."_

" _Right, right, silly me! Hey, so who wants to hear the craziest story? So once my dad officially signed the company over to me, I inherited all of these ridiculous—"_

 _But Ben wasn't paying any attention to the Princeton prick. Instead, he couldn't look away from Rey, watching her every movement like a hawk._

 _And maybe it was the few margaritas Poe forced him to have, but he could have sworn she was too busy watching Ben to listen to Snap, too._

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Somewhere in the Atlantic

It seemed to rain for an entire day straight, the downpour outside of their shelter absolutely brutal. The sun never seemed to truly rise the following morning, and by midday, Ben was already whispering about the possibility of a hurricane. That made Rey sick to her stomach, for once drawing attention from the soreness in her head.

So, they stayed coped up in their shelter for what seemed like thirty-six hours, Ben wrapping her tight in his space blanket to prevent her shivering, every few hours making her drink from his canteen or eat a banana. And sure, it was scary, and cold, and all Rey really wanted was a cheeseburger, but it certainly wasn't as terrible as it could have been.

"We're not going to die, are we?" She finally asked, approximately twenty hours into the rain storm, "Because I always figured my last meal would be of the fried variety."

Unfortunately, Ben didn't laugh, unamused by her joke, and instead pulled her tighter into his arms. She tucked herself underneath his chin, warmed considerably by his wide frame and strong arms.

"I'd never let anything happen to you, Rey," He mumbled, his lips pressed against her hair, "Even if we're stuck here forever."

As she lulled into another cat nap, the sound of the rain filling her ears and the warmth of Ben's body keeping her sane, an image popped into her head. One of her, and Ben, underneath the waterfall, clad in nothing but their skin. But they weren't alone. A tiny child, wearing just a diaper made of palms, rested peacefully in Rey's arms.

She groaned. What a cute thought. But then she thought of childbirth without modern medicine and _that_ quickly put her to sleep.

-x-x-x-

When the rain finally stopped, and the sun reappeared, Rey was thrilled to climb out of the enclosed shelter and stretch her legs. Poe and Finn went to work on rebuilding the fires, and Ben immediately went to catch more fish, since almost two full days without protein was starting to get to everyone.

Mainly Rey, of course. No matter how many bananas or mangos Ben fed her, her stomach seemed intent on growling obnoxiously loud. She couldn't help it, really. After a childhood of not eating, followed by a life of _constant_ eating, her body had a preference.

So, within two hours, they all sat around the fire, enjoying grilled fish and pineapple, a welcome alternative to their previous meals. By the time she was on her second fish, the words out of Ben's mouth almost made her pounce on him right then and there.

"I think I saw avocado," He started, before biting into his fish, resting on the weaved palm Rey had worked on days before, "It looked like it, at least."

"Avocado?" She practically cried out, her body nearly shaking at the thought of the green delicacy being added to her diet, "Don't fuck with me Ben!"

Finn snorted and handed Rey the rest of his fish. "Calm down, peanut. We'll check it out."

Rey groaned and finished the fish, her mind reeling with the possibilities avocadoes could offer. In fact, by the time she was recounting what few items were in Ben's MREs, she realized Finn and Poe had disappeared. She looked to Ben.

"Where did they go?"

He shrugged and tossed a few twigs onto the fire. "Wanted some alone time, I guess."

She nodded, thinking back to her alone time with Ben. After their… activities at the waterfall, she was keen to resume in the shelter, but immediately recognized how tense and on alert Ben was. She knew it would be wrong (and potentially dangerous) to draw him away from his watch, and instead reveled in just being held in his arms.

But, with the storm gone, and their fires replenished, they had activities that needed to be resumed. She carefully peeled out of his t-shirt, clad in only her black bikini that she was really beginning to resent, and laid the shirt out to dry.

Ben was adding palms to their shelter, as if to make it bigger. She was torn—she longed for more space, but also loved the idea of being smooshed up against his big body. But, her thoughts of their shelter could wait as she strolled over to him, doing her best to wiggle her hips.

"Ben," She purred, stopping beside him, "I said we weren't finished at the waterfall."

He didn't bother to look away from the intricate weaving he was doing along the sticks. "I'm not going back there. God knows what my brother is doing."

She cleared her throat. "We don't need to be over there. Here is fine."

Ben finally glanced over to her and groaned, immediately dropping his gaze to her exposed skin. "Rey, shit. Please. I want to reinforce this in case it starts raining again."

"Yes, and I want to ride your cock now in case it rains again," Rey retorted, crossing her arms to show her irritation, "Why is it that after so long, you still can drive me bloody crazy?"

He grunted and shook his head. "Yeah, likewise, Scavenger." He grabbed another palm and continued his weaving, "Now listen to me. If you let me finish this batch of palms, I'll make you come again. But I'm not fucking you until I'm sure this storm is over and there's not a chance of my brother walking in."

Rey flushed red, not used to such a direct Ben Solo. Or, perhaps it was his promise to give her another earth-shattering orgasm, or even just the promise that _yes_ , he was going to fuck her again. She sighed and dropped to the sand, crossing her arms like a petulant child.

"And when do I get to touch you?" She asked, hypnotized by the way the muscles in his arms tightened as he worked on the shelter, "Because I still haven't gotten a look at the goods, and now I'm starting to wonder if you have some deformity I should know about."

That got Ben to stop. He turned to Rey and narrowed his eyes. "Oh, Scavenger, I promise. There's nothing wrong with my cock. It might be a too big for you, but we made it work once, and we'll make it work again."

She cleared her throat and pursed her lips. "Someone's sure of himself."

Ben smirked and just continued working, only the sound of the ocean breaking through their silence.

-x-x-x-

And he did keep his promise. Ben wasn't sure when Finn and Poe would return, so he insisted on them climbing into the shelter. Rey didn't mind the concern of her best friends walking in—if anything, it made things even sexier.

But Ben was different and loathed the thought of prying eyes. At least, that's why Rey assumed she was sprawled across the palms on the floor of their shelter, her legs pushed open as far as they could go, and Ben Solo's tongue deep inside her.

Despite wanting to lay back and just enjoy the ride, she couldn't help but prop herself up on her elbows, keen to watch his head move eagerly between her legs, and the occasional, smoldering glance he'd offer between licks.

"Fuck, Rey," He grunted, before pressing two deliciously thick fingers inside of her, "You taste so fucking sweet."

She let out a pathetic sounding moan and grabbed onto his hair, desperately trying to rut her cunt against his waiting mouth. "Must be all the fruit," She cried out, her fingers pulling at his dark locks.

He laughed into her thigh and began to suck at her clit, his fat fingers continuing their pace into her. Then, to solidify himself as Ben Solo, Navy SEAL and pussy eater extraordinaire, the guttural moans escaping his mouth every time his tongue and lips ravished another part of her, left her nether regions vibrating.

Rey knew she'd never have a need for a vibrator as long as Ben Solo lived.

It only took another minute of his tongue and his lips and those fingers and—

She wondered if Finn and Poe could hear her cry, despite being deep in the foliage. Her body shook and thrashed, Ben continuing his soft licks, until she finally rested on the palms, completely satiated. She could only moan as he began to kiss a path up her body, starting at her thoroughly pleased cunt and ending at her slightly sun-burned shoulder.

"God, you really are fucking responsive," He muttered, before sliding her back into her bikini bottoms and collapsing beside her.

Rey couldn't help but snort. "Sorry. Before, when we were uh, drunk, I'd never even…"

Ben blinked and sat up. "You were a virgin?"

"No!" She rolled her eyes and sat up as well. "No, of course not. I'd never been eaten out."

He cleared his throat and blushed. "Right, right, sorry. Stupid question. But… Really? Never?"

"Not all guys are into that."

Ben snorted. "I am."

"Yes, I can tell."

He made a show of licking his fingers before laying back down. "I just… Even Snap?"

Just the name of her ex-fiancé made Rey cringe. "Snap? Please. All he was interested in was getting his cock wet, and he lasted oh, I don't know, maybe three minutes on a good day."

Ben cleared his throat and looked away. "Right. I'm sorry about what happened with Snap."

"I'm over it," Rey was quick to respond, distracting herself with the ratty end of her braid, "If anything, everything that happened with him made me stronger."

Beside her, she felt Ben shift, now studying her. "But you loved him, and he hurt you."

She shook her head. "I thought I loved him."

"What do you mean you thought?" Ben sat up, now staring down at her.

Rey sighed and looked away. "I don't know. I thought what I felt for him was love but… I think it was about safety. Security. Feeling wanted."

Ben swallowed. "Oh. Good. I mean. Not good. But… Yeah."

"I mean, when I saw him, I wasn't drawn to him at all." Rey groaned and rubbed at her eyes, reliving the memory, "Paige, Rose's sister, if you remember, knew him through mutual friends. She really thought we'd hit it off and had been trying to set us up together for a while. I was never interested but…"

"But what?" Ben prompted, his dark eyes staring into hers, "What changed?"

Rey cleared her throat and looked away. "I don't know." That wasn't entirely true, but she also wasn't ready to admit certain things to herself, let alone Ben.

"But you must have felt a connection, right? I mean, you guys dated for a while. You agreed to marry him."

She just shrugged. "I thought it was time for me to settle. It felt like all my friends were on the cusp of marriage and… He made he felt wanted. He bought me things and took me places and called me beautiful," She sniffled and shook her head, suddenly embarrassed, "When you're thrown away when you're little because no one wants you, it's easy to fall for the first person who shows interest."

Ben frowned and looked away. "You deserve so much, Rey. Especially more than that piece of shit."

She merely nodded and allowed herself to be pulled into Ben's arms. He was warm, and safe, and familiar, and maybe something she had always needed.

It was as scary of a thought as it was enlightening.

-x-x-x-

Another two days passed, and the four quickly fell into routine. They rose when the sun peaked over the horizon and would quietly feast on whatever fruit they had collected before, usually consisting of mango, bananas, and passion fruit. Then, the men would split up, either to rebuild the fires, collect more wood and fruit, or to fish.

Rey was frustrated that she was still being treated like a fragile little flower, but then wondered if she'd really want to be climbing trees to reach whatever fruit caught her eyes. The cuts and scrapes on Poe's hands and legs were not something she was interested in replicating, especially with her head injury.

There was an unspoken tension as the days passed on the island. Rey thought they had reached a week, but truly wasn't sure. It was a subject that no one wanted to breach, and the concept of being rescued was relegated to their three fires, constantly growing, as well as the freshly written "SOS", always the first thing dear Finn did when he woke up.

From afar, Rey was certain that Finn and Poe were treating the excursion as a honeymoon of sorts, constantly running off to the waterfall, keen to be alone and enjoy each other. While she found it adorable and was thrilled that her best friends were using their crap circumstances to have fun, she also felt herself insanely jealous.

Since her conversation with Ben about Snap, and their second time of messing around, she could feel him pulling away. It was bloody frustrating too—she had barely touched him. He could ravish her body, but she had yet to even _see_ his cock.

She couldn't explain why he was being so… Well, to be quite honest, Ben wasn't _really_ acting abnormal. He was acting how he always did. If anything, their moment of connection was the abnormal part.

But, none of that mattered. She still wanted to be fucked, especially after she insisted they weren't finished when the rain interrupted their activities. Yet, since the last time she had his face between her legs, they instead only spoke of fruit and her head and bloody fish and the little bit of sunburn she had and if—

She was going mad. Was this what was meant by going island crazy? Surely that must be it.

So, come that morning, two days after he gave her a sand-shaking orgasm, Rey knew she wanted more. But gone were her constant thoughts of how massive his cock must be and how she'd do anything to see it.

No.

She wanted a kiss. A sweet, chaste, toe-curling, firework inducing _kiss_. Rey wanted the type of kiss that fourteen-year-old Rey used to dream of having under the bleachers or against her locker or while spinning in the rain.

At one point in her life, maybe she had even thought her first kiss would be the moody Solo boy, who despite his gruff attitude, always seemed to just be around.

It was a silly thing too, Rey realized, sitting on the sand of a desert island, thinking about her first kiss back in her sophomore year of high school. She only remembered bits of the party, particularly when she watched Kaydel Connix stumble out of Ben's room, looking disheveled and bloody _giggling_. Even at twenty-eight, she wondered if that evening was Ben's first kiss.

It had been hers, clinging onto Lando, desperate to feel something.

Anything.

She wondered how many times in her life Ben obliterated her expectations, both good and bad. She certainly never thought he'd become a SEAL. She assumed he'd play D1 basketball, at somewhere like Duke, and either play professionally or take over Han's dealerships.

She never thought he'd be a lone wolf, never with a woman on his arm. Ben was attractive and the definition of a jock, both during and after high school, yet he _never_ blew through women.

At one point, she even thought he was going to ask her to senior prom, which of course never panned out. And wouldn't that have been the joke of the year! The same boy who asked her to her very first dance, her freshman Homecoming, also asking her to her final dance…

At seventeen, Rey would have viewed it as the final mockery of her.

At twenty-eight, Rey wondered what could have been.

But this reflection and thoughts of the past was just downright silly. Here she sat, sunburned and in the sand, not knowing if she'd ever return home, and she was busy thinking about the unexpected decisions of Ben Solo over the years.

So, when Ben appeared an hour or so later, arms filled with some exotic fruit she didn't recognize, she decided the past was just that.

The past.

It didn't matter what this boy did or didn't do over the years. All that mattered was what this man was doing now.

And right now, that man was hovering close, cleaning her head wound with expert care.

"It's doing really well," He explained softly, his breath tickling her ears, "You've been so strong, especially with our limited pain medicine."

Rey sniffled, the burn of the vodka still strong, and nodded. "Thank you for taking care of me."

Ben merely nodded and continued to look over the wound. Rey, however, was more distracted by his proximity, warmed by his body surrounding hers. He had settled on his knees, one on either side of her hips, hovering over her like an oversized blanket.

And suddenly, all she cared about were those beautiful, pink lips. Sure, they had grown chapped in the sun, but they called to her, begging to be kissed, begging to finally put away the mystery of his lips on hers and if it would be like the movies and the songs of her teenage years and the promise of fireworks and shivers and, and, and—

She had to know. Before she could stop herself, her eyes had drifted shut, and her body leaned closer to his. With her hands on his chest, she moved her way up his body, one hand moving to cup his cheek. And then, with a shaky breath, she leaned in, ignoring the violent beating of her heart.

But, instead of feeling the press of his lips on hers, her body was pushed backwards, leaving her entire form to fall to the sand. Her eyes shot open, meeting Ben's neurotic gaze. He stood, staring down at her, his mouth agape.

"I'm sorry. I gotta uh. Fish. Rain. Dark coming," He exclaimed, before booking it towards the shoreline.

Rey simply sat up and watched his quick movements, her heart in her throat.

If soft and chaste wasn't going to do it for Ben, then she'd go for plan B.

There was no way he'd push her away in the middle of passionate sex.

Ben Solo was a warm-blooded man, after all.

-x-x-x-

The next day, Rey made a rash decision and took off for the waterfall, claiming she needed a rinse. While that was certainly true—oh, how she'd _kill_ for a hot shower—her plan was simply to get Ben to follow. He was sort of like a puppy these days, never leaving her alone, and only disappearing if he was certain she was in Finn or Poe's care.

With her two best friends still very much in their shelter, Ben did exactly what she expected and stalked after her. But, by the time he caught up, she was already nude, prancing around the cool water with no cares in the world.

"Rey!" Ben barked, standing at the edge of the water, "You can't just run off like that!"

She smirked and swam up to him, making no effort to cover her chest. "And why not? Am I not allowed to bathe with privacy?"

Ben cursed and rubbed at his eyes, his exhaustion evident. "We don't know how dangerous this place is, Rey. You can't take off by yourself."

"You'd hear me scream," She remarked, rather innocently, "and you'd come running."

Her comment made him furious. "Don't even fucking joke about that, Rey. In case you've forgotten, we're on an island in the middle of the fucking Atlantic with no access to medical care. If one of us gets seriously hurt, it's _over_."

His serious words momentarily knocked the playful grin off her face. But, instead of letting his morbid reminder ruin the interaction, she rose from the water, smirking the moment his eyes dropped to her very wet, very nude form.

"Well, then. We should enjoy the time we have left," She explained, taking a step closer to him, "Live in the moment."

Ben swallowed and took a step back, valiantly trying to look away. "Rey…"

"I said we weren't done, Ben," She reminded him, following his every moment, "And I always mean what I say."

Whatever ridiculous, likely chivalrous rebuttal Ben prepared to throw back died promptly in his throat as Rey dropped before him, letting her knees hit the lush grass of the island paradise. With expert hands, she brought his shorts to the ground, and finally, just _finally,_ Rey got a look at what Ben was packing.

Despite his cock still rising to attention at the sight of her nude form, Rey was still knocked speechless for a brief moment. It was exactly how she imagined—pale, thick, long, and angry.

Sort of like Ben.

Well, she could have spent forever admiring his appendage, but she had other things in mind. Within moments she had as much as she could fit inside her waiting mouth, moaning the minute the heated flesh met her anxious tongue.

And so Ben stood there, mouth agape and eyes wide, watching as Rey twisted and whined and moaned and sucked the life out of him through his cock. Her hands worked furiously at whatever her mouth couldn't reach, and by the time his hands had traveled to her hair, one of her hands had dropped between her legs.

Of course, the sight of her pleasuring herself was too much for Ben to take, and he quickly lifted her into his arms, moaning at the way his cock jerked out from between her lips. He set her on a large rock and slipped between her open legs, letting his engorged length tease her swollen lips.

"Fuck, Ben, _please_ ," Rey cried out, jerking her legs to tighten around his bare hips, "God, just fuck me finally!"

With her words, he needed no further prompting, and quickly sheathed himself inside of her. He let out a lewd moan, his head dropping to her shoulder, unable to handle just how warm and wet she felt around him.

"Rey," He grumbled, his lips pressing soft kisses down her shoulder and chest, "You feel like fucking paradise."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her fingers run into his hair, immediately pulling at the dark locks. "Fuck me, Ben! Now!"

As his hips began to move, sharp thrusts in and out of her shaking form, his mouth focused on one of her nipples. His tongue immediately began to prod at the erect pink, licking and circling it eagerly. Within moments, he had his hot mouth wrapped around it, sucking eagerly.

Rey couldn't help but grasp onto his large shoulders, squealing at every thrust of his hips. Even against the roaring sounds of the waterfall, the smack of his hips was an erotic melody to her ears, and only intensified her moans and cries.

Ben soon abandoned her chest and moved to her neck, his lips and tongue nipping at the smooth skin hidden above her shoulder. The harder he sucked, the harder he fucked her, and the louder she screamed.

"I can't—oh god, Ben—" She sobbed out, her fingers now pulling brutally at his hair, "Please!"

She felt his massive arms move, one to wrap around her lower back, the other to cup behind her head. His hips sped up, that massive cock of his hitting somewhere she didn't really believe existed, as his fingers tightened in her own hair.

And with his hand grasping her head, his own face moving forward, she was certain that not only would this fuck give her probably the best orgasm of her life, but also the kiss she had been begging for. But, as his thrusts began to waiver, indicating his own pending release, her face was pushed into his chest as he held her close.

"Oh, shit, Rey—" He cried out, his other hand peaking around her stomach to land between her legs, "God, you're so fucking soft—"

Apparently, all she needed was the feeling of his fingers on her clit, because in moments she was shaking, crying out as the strongest orgasm of her life ripped through her body. She knew how desperately close he was, especially since the moment her walls tightened around his length, he let out a lewd groan that would live forever in her fantasies.

All she could do was moan and shake as he reached his own peak. She pressed soft kisses to his massive chest as he shook, only stopping her movements as she felt him move, her limp body still in his arms.

"What—where—" Was all she managed, her brain melted after the fuck of a lifetime.

He merely chuckled, a deliciously deep noise, and led them into the cool water beside the waterfall. He helped her wrap her arms and legs around him, before leaning backwards to dunk his own head.

"I figured a good soak was in order," He explained, his voice softer than expected, "You know, to clean up."

She couldn't help but flush at his words, knowing he referred to the mix of liquid she had dripping between her thighs. That, combined with sweat and whatever weird island rock residue she had on her back, was enough reason to slip into the water.

And so, Rey let herself rest in his arms, never once complaining as he gently rinsed her with water, his hands soft and smooth on every inch of her body. When they finished, he helped her dress, and without asking, hoisted her back up.

When he tucked her back into their shelter, insisting she take a nap, she could only nod at his orders. She watched the muscles in his back ripple as he wandered to the shoreline, ready to catch fish for dinner.

Here he was, fucking her and then catching her dinner.

Suddenly, she had wet, hot, tears dripping down her face, unable to understand his actions, or her feelings, or why she was still crying over Ben Solo after all these years.

Because she had cried many times over that stupid boy.

But he was no longer a boy.

He proved that to her only moments ago.

Ben was a man.

But he wasn't hers.

-x-x-x-

Later that evening, Rey sat huddled around the fire, her belly legitimately full for the first time since she left Miami. Ben had an excellent afternoon fishing, and along with some avocados that he had surprised her with, Rey had stuffed her face. Of course, after being fucked by the waterfall, she needed the extra energy.

But once everyone had finished eating, Ben had taken Finn to help rebuild their other two fires, leaving Rey to sit with Poe. Despite his sunburn and exhaustion, he looked relatively happy, which was an upgrade from his first few days there of blaming himself for the entire fiasco.

"You have a good time at the waterfall with Ben?" Poe asked, a knowing glint in his eyes, "You two were gone for a while."

Rey considered playing coy, but ultimately decided against it. "Well, sometimes you have to earn good orgasms," She retorted, her lips twisting into a smirk.

He merely laughed. "Good. I'm glad you two have uh…" He paused, clearly at a loss for words, "Well, at least decided to work out your sexual tension."

She nodded, knowing Poe was right. For her entire life, she had battled with feelings of wanting to ruin Ben Solo while also kissing his stupid, plump lips. She wanted to watch him scream and cry but also whisper sweet nothings into her ear.

Rey rarely knew what she wanted with him, always at odds with herself. Except for right then and there, when she finally knew what she wanted from Ben.

"Poe, can I ask you something?" She asked, her voice soft against the waves of the ocean.

He smiled and nodded. "Of course, Rey. What's up?"

She bit her lip and glanced back to the other two fires, confirming that Finn and Ben were still working. Once satisfied, she looked to Poe. "It's about Ben. We've uh… We've now slept together twice."

"Go on…" Poe couldn't help but laugh.

She sighed. "Well, and he's also uh…" She made a lewd gesture with her tongue, one that had Poe rolling his eyes, "Twice. And of course, we sleep together every night. He never tries to pretend he doesn't want to hold me close."

Poe yawned and nodded. "Okay? So, what's the question? Are you asking me if I think you two are a thing now?"

She quickly shook her head. "No, no. It's not that. It's um. He won't kiss me." At the way Poe's eyebrows shot up, she cleared her throat and continued, "Yes, I know, it sounds insane that we've had sex twice and have never kissed but we haven't. I even tried to kiss him a few days ago and he bolted away from me like I'd burned him."

At that moment, despite Ben and Poe sharing no blood between them, she could immediately recognize the familial resemblance. Poe's face scrunched up the same way that Ben's did whenever confused. It was the same look Ben had given her throughout high school, right before any of their rather intense arguments.

But Poe simply shook his head. "You're positive? You two have never kissed?" When Rey shook her head, he continued, "Any type? Not even a peck?"

She sighed and looked out towards the water. "Nothing. His mouth has explored every inch of my body aside from my bloody lips." She wanted to be irritated, and confused, and still hate Ben Solo, but she had an aura of calm around her, given the beautiful sights of the ocean and the glorious fuck she had earlier.

"But… That doesn't make any sense. You and Ben have kissed before."

The moment the words escaped Poe's lips, her eyes darted back to the man beside her, her enjoyment of the environment gone. "Sorry, what?"

She watched, even in the moonlight, as the blood drained from Poe's face. He cleared his throat. "Fuck. I wasn't supposed to say anything."

"POE!" She nearly growled, inching closer to him, "How could we have kissed if we don't remember?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Uh, it was last Christmas. At my party? You were so drunk. Ben was really drunk too." He looked away, considering his words, "I didn't see everything. But what I did see was you two eating each other's faces."

His words paralyzed her. For years, she wondered about sharing a kiss with Ben Solo, and now, months after it occurred, she discovered that she had. And what a kicker it was that every first she had with that man—kiss, night in bed—was while inebriated.

"You didn't remember and since you were with Snap, I didn't think it was my place to tell you," Poe explained, nibbling on his lip nervously, "I'm sorry."

Rey looked back towards the water, unsure of what she was supposed to do with this new information. She could cry, or scream, or kick Poe, or—

A thought occurred to her.

"Poe, tell me honestly. Does Ben remember?"

She glanced at Poe, meeting his chocolate gaze. He merely nodded.

"He thinks he hurt you. Or some other macho man bullshit. Like he was touching someone else's goods. Betraying your trust. I don't think—"

His words were cut off by the reappearance of Ben and Finn. Finn smiled at his fiancé. "Let's go to bed, Poe."

Poe nodded again and jumped up. He looked between Rey and Ben, before following Finn away.

Rey, on the other hand, remained seated, staring at the water. It was only at the sound of Ben's voice that she looked to him.

"Should we go to bed?" He asked, his deep voice tickling her insides.

She merely nodded and let him pick her up, holding on tightly as they crossed the sand. As she leaned her face against his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of his skin and the breeze of the night air, she let her eyes close.

How much longer could she do this? Her entire relationship with Ben had been a series of miscommunications and she was just _so_ bloody tired.

That night, as he held her close, she dreamt of ugly Christmas jumpers and the taste of Hot Toddies on her tongue, and the moody scowl of a Navy SEAL on Poe's favorite armchair.

-x-x-x-

 _December 2017_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Yavin Gated Residences_

 _Ben sat in the corner of Poe and Finn's living room, halfway through his third drink of the evening: straight whiskey. His first two had been some fancy Christmas cocktail that Finn had drawn up, but after his second, he really needed something to take the edge off._

 _He hated the loud Christmas music. He hated the elegant decorations covering every inch of his brother's home. He hated the perfect dishes they prepared. He hated the laughter of their guests. He hated the fun everyone was having._

 _But, most of all, he hated_ _ **him.**_

 _His stupid styled hair, his stupid Princeton education, his stupid foreign car, his stupid second home in Aspen, his stupid fucking name… His stupid fucking everything._

 _Ben couldn't help but recall their meeting in May, when the intruder was introduced as Rey's boyfriend of five months. The prospect seemed ridiculous. The Scavenger hadn't held a boyfriend for longer than a month in all the time Ben had known her._

 _She was always free._

 _So, he was surprised when he returned to Denver a few days ago, ready to enjoy a free week and the holiday with his family._

 _The last thing he had expected to see was a ring on her finger._

 _And maybe it was the alcohol in his system, or things he had tried to bury deep, feelings he had tried to hide from the surface since he was eighteen years young. But watching her smile, watching her laugh, watching her hold his hand, her head thrown back, her red lips parted in delight…_

 _He felt sick. Physically sick._

 _He finished his drink and stumbled to the bar, quick to pour himself another glass. With any luck he'd get piss drunk. Maybe finally return Finn's co-workers flirting._

" _Might wanna take it easy, pal," His brother announced, rounding behind himself, dressed in a ridiculous Christmas sweater, featuring Santa in a rather X-rated position, "You don't want to waste one of your days recovering from a hangover."_

 _Ben just shrugged and tossed the drink back, enjoying the momentary burn of liquor against his throat. "Go enjoy your party. Looks like Finn is cutting into that fancy torte thing."_

 _Poe frowned and studied his brother. "You good? You don't look like you're enjoying yourself." He bit his lip and rubbed Ben's shoulder, "I know parties aren't exactly your thing, but you should have fun. Hang loose."_

" _Thanks. I'll try." Ben took another gulp and walked away, returning to his seat in the corner of the room._

 _And, unfortunately, people tried to chat him up. A few friends from high school. Some of Finn's co-workers. Some stragglers like himself. But he paid them little notice. He was too busy studying the petite brunette by the fireplace, entranced by her smiling features and cute, Christmas sweater._

 _She was busy giggling with an Asian girl he recognized as one of her college friends, holding a present between her hands. The diamond ring on her finger sparkled in the firelight, the silver band taunting his drunken gaze._

 _By the time her fiancé reappeared by her side, he had found himself on drink number five._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _For reasons unbeknownst to Poe, he had developed the so-called "clown" role in every one of the friend groups he had been a part of in his short twenty-seven years of life. Sure, he was laid back, and funny, and took life one step at a time, but he didn't appreciate the implication that followed._

 _That he was stupid, namely._

 _Because he was far from it. And watching his brother stew in the corner of the room for most of the evening certainly didn't require rocket science to determine the root of his bad behavior._

 _He rarely saw Ben drunk. Frankly, he was more concerned with Rey, who had drunk probably her body weight in Hot Toddies. The party, which had been a roaring success, was winding down, with most of their guests safely taken home with their DDs or in an uber. But, of course, Rey stayed behind, prancing around their living room in a headband with elf ears._

 _Snap had disappeared to help Finn in the kitchen, leaving Poe to watch his drunken best friend dance merrily to the music and his brother to stew in the corner._

 _But he had only turned for a second, only moved to collect discarded plates of cherry torte and pumpkin pie when he heard the soft, feminine gasp._

 _Poe whipped around, his eyes widening in surprise at the sight in front of him. Standing before him, under the expertly placed mistletoe by their powder room, were Rey and Ben, locked in a kiss. His brother was holding the woman tight to his body, one enormous hand grasping her cheek, the other steadying her back. Rey, who seemed to be in a state of shock, had her hands by her side, although clearly cautiously returning the kiss._

 _And so, Poe watched the two embrace, studying the way his brother practically devoured the woman, his lips moving ravenously against her red mouth, his tongue thrashing against hers. Rey's arms eventually slid up his chest, moving to wrap around his neck, her hand grasping a handful of his short, black hair._

 _Poe was still too shocked to do much more than stare, until he heard the incoming voice of his boyfriend and Snap. He rushed over to the two, grabbing his brother by the collar of his shirt, ripping him away from Rey._

" _Ben!" He hissed out, shoving him backwards, "She's engaged!" He found himself sputtering out, looking frantically between the two._

 _Ben swallowed and glanced at Rey, who in a drunken daze, stepped back, her mouth still parted. He let out a shaky breath. "I—the mistletoe—"_

 _His words were interrupted as Finn and Snap strolled in, huddled together and singing along to 'Last Christmas' which blasted through their speakers. Snap grinned at the trio and wrapped his arm around Rey._

" _Let's head out, babe." He kissed Rey's head and smiled at the other three men, "Awesome party, you guys! Just wait till my New Year's Extravaganza!"_

 _And then Snap disappeared, tugging Rey behind, her eyes glossy, her red lips swollen._

 _Finn continued humming along to the music, unaware of the staring contest occurring between his boyfriend and Ben._

 _Poe frowned. "Ben…"_

 _The taller man shook his head. His voice was gruff._

" _Don't."_

 _And then he strolled up the stairs, ready to pretend the night never occurred._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _December 2017_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Saber Diner_

 _The following day, Poe sat with Rey at a local diner, watching as the tired girl shoved a forkful of pancakes in her mouth. He cleared his throat and sipped his coffee._

" _So… How's your hangover treating you?" He asked hesitantly._

 _She groaned and swallowed her mouthful. "It's bloody awful! I'm jealous Snap didn't drink. I should have done that cleanse he's on."_

 _Poe just nodded, wondering if Finn had fallen into the toilet. He rubbed at his eyes, unsure of how to bring up the previous evening's finale. "So… About last night…."_

 _Rey sipped her coffee and laughed. "Gods, last night! I'm so embarrassed." She ate another forkful and groaned, "Truthfully, I don't remember anything after White Elephant! I had a slice of cherry torte, got that tea pot, and the rest is dark."_

 _Poe blinked. "Wait… You mean you don't remember…?"_

 _She made a face. "Remember what? What did I do?"_

 _He rubbed at his eyes and shook his head. He forced a smile at her. "You just got into a singing contest with one of Finn's co-workers, that's all."_

 _She groaned. "Gods, I hope that isn't on tape."_

 _Poe glanced at his coffee and sighed._

 _Somehow, he didn't think the memory would be so murky for his brother._


	11. The Promposal

_April 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Tatooine High School_

 _Ben sat eating his second ham and cheese sandwich, courtesy of his mother, and tried to stay interested in the way his brother was rambling on. While he and Poe usually ate lunch with a variety of different people, it was the midst of prom planning and college acceptance season, meaning their fellow seniors were all cooped up in classrooms and computer labs obsessing about dresses or thick envelopes._

 _That wasn't a concern for him. He already had the date he'd show up for training at a naval base in the Great Lakes. Poe was in a similar boat. A few weeks ago, he officially received his acceptance to Denver University and immediately sent in his enrollment fee._

 _Ben wasn't surprised that his brother wanted to stay so close to home. He also figured it had something to do with a certain football player with brown eyes and an infectious laugh, but it wasn't really his business to inquire._

 _But, while it wasn't his business, it did make him curious, especially as Poe sat across from him, covered in magic marker, making a promposal sign for someone who was most certainly not Finn Storm. Said person wasn't even of the male variety._

" _I think you might be going overboard," Ben began, before ripping into a bag of Cheetos, "Aren't flowers enough?"_

 _His brother scoffed and halted his careful writing on the poster board. He glared at Ben. "Just flowers? Are you insane? Did you see what Nodin did for Kaydel? He dyed his dog pink to match his roses and balloons!"_

 _Ben blinked and munched on a Cheeto. "Why did he need to dye his dog pink?"_

 _Poe shrugged and continued his careful lettering. "I dunno. I think it's her favorite color. Either way, it looked fucking cool. I gotta one up him."_

 _With a sigh, Ben opened a bag of crackers, wishing Leia had packed a second bag of Cheetos instead. "Yeah but… Kaydel and Nodin have been dating since like, junior year. You and Zam…"_

" _Made out at mom's Christmas party, so, it's basically the same thing," Poe replied snarkily, before shading in the giant 'P' on his poster with a blue sharpie, "I have a reputation to uphold. The rumor around town is I'm going to win the 'Most Spirited' superlative."_

 _Ben sighed and glanced at the poster. He rolled his eyes. "You're rhyming Zam and Jam?"_

" _Yes. We'll jam it out at prom," Poe cursed and grabbed the black sharpie, "Fuck, I'm so bad at keeping within the lines."_

 _With his last cracker, Ben shook his head. "I just think…" He groaned and ran a hand through his hair, "You're spending a lot of time on an invitation for a girl that you don't care about it."_

 _Poe glanced up from his artwork and narrowed his eyes. "You're one to talk! The last thing you need to worry about are my prom plans. What about yours?"_

 _Ben blanched at the subject. Truthfully, he hadn't thought about it. He figured he'd do what he normally did._

 _Well, actually, he normally avoided dances since his freshman year, but he knew both his mother and Poe would never forgive him if he didn't attend their senior prom. So, his second thought was just to go alone._

" _I'll go alone."_

 _Poe let out a noise that sounded like he was being run over. "Ben! You cannot go alone!" He jumped to his feet and pointed at his brother, "There's a huge chance you're going to be Prom King! You can't go alone!"_

 _Ben flinched at the thought. Him as Prom King? Why? It wasn't like he did much. Sure, he played basketball, but that was all. He didn't participate in spirit days like Poe or run other clubs like Finn or dominate the student council like Rey…_

 _He shook his head and looked at his brother. "What if I don't want to be Prom King?"_

 _Poe nearly choked. "God, I hate you sometimes! What's next? You don't want to get laid on prom night either?"_

 _Ben groaned and stood up. "I just don't see the big deal, ok? Most people don't stay with their dates anyways. You take some pictures and then it's over."_

" _You have to ask someone, Ben. I'll get mom involved," Poe threatened, waving a colorful hand at him._

 _With a sigh, Ben nodded. "I'll consider it."_

 _Poe opened his mouth to argue but was interrupted by Rey running towards them. Instead of her usual attire, she was dressed in a school play t-shirt circa 2002, one that was three sizes too large and covered with paint, along with a pair of ratty sweatpants equally as colorful._

 _And just like her clothes, she sported streaks of blue and gold, their school colors, across her cheeks. She stopped at their table and let out a harsh breath._

" _Poe, did you see Dryden Vos just ask Qi'ra Clarke? He got the janitors to dim the lights by the main staircase!" Rey squealed out, before grabbing a bag of goldfish from Ben's lunch and digging in, "Then the baseball team dropped gold balloons and confetti from the second level!"_

 _At this point, Ben was not even pretending to listen to the animated conversation between his brother and Rey. He was too busy watching the sunlight of the courtyard hit the gold on Rey's face. Along with the golden streaks in her honey hair, she looked positively glowing._

"— _you're sure the poster is enough?" He heard his brother babble, before holding up the half-finished product for Rey to look at._

 _She nodded excitedly. "She'll love it!" She glanced at Ben and crinkled her nose. "Thanks for the goldfish."_

" _You didn't ask, but you're welcome I guess." He muttered, "And nice paint on your face."_

 _Rey crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. "You know, the student council could use the extra help with preparing the decorations." She looked between Ben and Poe, who both looked uninterested, "Fine! Be that way! Even Finn volunteered!"_

 _Poe perked up at the name of his friend. "Oh? Finn is helping?"_

 _She nodded and grinned. "He's been a ton of help. He's super creative."_

" _Does he have a date yet?" Poe found himself asking, acting as disinterested as possible._

 _Rey shook her head. "No. I don't know what he's planning."_

" _Do you have a date?" Poe followed up with, "Because our Class President can't show up without a hunk on her arm."_

 _She rolled her eyes and shoved him. "We'll see. Someone would have to ask me." She motioned to her messy attire and laughed, "And I can't imagine I'm driving the boys crazy looking like this."_

 _At the sound of the school bell, she let out a curse. "Fuck! I gotta change and get to fifth period. Catch you later!" She waved at the boys and bolted off, leaving only the smell of flowers and paint behind her._

 _Poe turned to his brother and gave him a knowing look. "What a power couple the Class President and Prom King-Star Basketball Player would make, don't you think?"_

 _Ben rolled his eyes and walked away, ignoring his brother's prodding. But part of him kind of, sort of, agreed._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _Maybe that's why on Friday morning, he found himself buying a bouquet of white roses on the way to school and wearing a nice shirt instead of one of his usual basketball tournament t-shirts. He wasn't Poe, so he had no interest in making a frilly poster or dying a dog's fur or employing his basketball teammates to help._

 _If he was going to ask Rey, it was just going to be him. Well, he figured flowers added to the formality, but it would just be him and his words._

 _He hadn't even told Poe—he figured if he did, the entire senior class would know before second period. So, come lunch, he planned to get the roses from his car, and ask Rey, preferably in front of as little people as possible._

 _It really wasn't a big deal. It was just prom._

 _Rey was just some girl._

 _At least that's what he told himself when he strolled into the courtyard at lunch, wanting to make sure Rey was actually eating instead of doing her usual running around during the break. And she was there, sitting on the grass, laughing with Poe and Finn and…_

 _Lando._

 _And with her brown paper baggie, she held a bouquet of flowers to her chest, along with an obnoxiously bright orange poster, the bubble letter message making Ben want to vomit._

 _ **Would you shine some light on my prom experience by being my Rey of sunshine?**_

 _He slowed his walking, watching the foursome, the squeals audible from even where he stood._

" _You weren't expecting it at all?" Finn asked, before smelling the flowers she held, "Lando and I were convinced you knew!"_

 _She laughed and shook her head, before giving Lando a soft smile, "No, I had no idea. And it was very sweet of him." She kissed his cheek gently, "I didn't think anyone would ask me."_

 _And then Ben felt the air escape his lungs as her eyes met his, despite their distance._

 _He took a step backwards, unable to look away from her hazel gaze, before turning around and storming towards the parking lot. Sliding into his car, he drove off, uncaring about the rest of the school day. And then, in not his finest moment, he grabbed the overpriced bouquet sitting on his passenger seat and tossed it through the window, hoping one of the cars behind him managed to run it over._

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Somewhere in the Atlantic

Ben Solo wasn't the most versed when it came to social interaction, but even he could tell something was bothering Rey. And sure, they were deserted on an island in the middle of the Atlantic, uncertain if they'd ever be rescued and see their family again, but even Rey seemed to be taking that in stride.

Yet, after their afternoon by the waterfall, one that absolutely blew Ben's world, she seemed to have pulled away. It was weird for him, really, since Ben was the one who normally began to isolate himself from others, not the other way around.

She let Ben clean her wound on the morning after but was uncharacteristically quiet while they feasted on passion fruit and bananas for breakfast. Eventually, Ben decided it was best to leave her with Finn and take Poe to collect more firewood. Her bond with Finn was the strongest, and maybe time alone with him would cheer her up.

By the time Ben and Poe were deep into the trees, collecting whatever sticks and twigs they could get their hands on, the silence was starting to get to Ben. Like Rey, Poe was being uncharacteristically quiet, and his brother's silence was actually more disturbing to him than his usual constant chatter. After years with Poe, his brother's talkativeness was rather comforting.

"Christ, what is it with everyone today?" Ben muttered, as he reached down to grab another fallen branch, "Everyone's so quiet."

Poe cleared his throat and shrugged. "We have a lot on our minds."

Ben rolled his eyes and continued his collecting. "I do too. I mean, we're—"

"I'm worried you're going to break Rey's heart," Poe blurted out, his eyes widening the moment the words escaped his lips.

With arms full of twigs and sticks, Ben froze. He looked at his brother and cleared his throat. "Excuse me? Where did that come from?"

"She told me that you guys slept together yesterday. She also told me that you haven't kissed her, and not for a lack of trying on her part," Poe cleared his throat and began to shift side to side, clearly uncomfortable, "I told her about Christmas."

Ben proceeded to drop his arms, letting the sticks and twigs tumble to the ground. He narrowed his eyes. "You told her?"

"She had a right to know!" Poe shot back. He cursed and pointed an accusatory finger at Ben, "So what exactly are you two doing, huh? Because it's never made any fucking sense to me. And right now, I'm sure she's pretty vulnerable, considering we're stuck on a fucking island and—"

"And what about me?" Ben couldn't help but interrupt, his fists shaking at his sides, "What if I'm feeling vulnerable? What if I'm fucking scared, huh?" He cursed and rubbed at his face, refusing to look at Poe, "I'm not allowed to be scared, okay? I'm supposed to be holding everyone together. If I fall apart, _everyone_ falls apart."

Poe frowned and took a step towards Ben. "You shouldn't have to feel that way. It's not—"

"What? It's not true? Because you know it is." Ben shook his head and ran a shaking hand through his hair, "So what's this ambush about Poe? Are you telling me to stay away from Rey?"

"Of course not!" Poe hissed back, taking a step forward to touch his brother's arm, "All I've ever wanted is for you and Rey to be together! It's been literal fucking _decades_ of you two dancing around each other and it's ridiculous." He shook his head and cursed, "It's ridiculous when you're both in love with each other and you just won't do anything about it."

Ben frowned and finally met his brother's kind gaze. "She deserves so much better than me, Poe. She deserves a man who's going to be with her every night. Someone who will hold her close and tell her how amazing she is and be there to make breakfast and—"

"Stop. Just stop. You'll be away a lot because of your career. So, what? If you two love each other, you can make it work. Mom and Dad made it work."

Ben groaned. "You're comparing weeks away to months, Poe. They're not the same."

"It's time away from the person you love. It's hard for a day, let alone weeks or months. I'm not going to stand here and promise that it will be easy, because it won't be. But to be with her forever? If you love her, it'll be worth it."

With a frown, Ben began to pick up the sticks around him. "I'm scared of kissing her," He finally admitted, his voice softer than expected, "The last time I did, I took advantage of her state, and that wasn't fair."

Poe frowned and shook his head. "Ben, you were drunk too. You can't punish yourself forever."

"It's not just that!" He shot back, the muscles in his arms flexing as he grabbed more sticks, "What if we kiss and she hates it? What if after years and years of dreaming about being with her, there's nothing? No spark, no fireworks, nothing?"

Poe sighed and rubbed at his eyes, clearly tired, "Ben, you two had sex—"

"Sex is sex. It's physical. I'm talking about love and intimacy and all that bullshit Mom always talked about."

Poe smacked his brother's back and smiled. "You just gotta go for it, Ben. You know, I would have never had the balls to come out or to tell Finn how I felt if it wasn't for you. And I took some big fucking risks. I thought he was gay, but it was never confirmed. When I told him how I felt, I risked so many types of rejection. Finding out he was straight, or him not being interested." He shook his head but smiled at the memory, "I risked losing a friend, but it was worth it because now I'm with the love of my life."

Ben blinked back his surprise. " _Me_? If it weren't for me?"

Poe laughed. "Ben, you're the bravest person I know. Of course, you inspired me. If you could do the things you did, then I could suck up my fears and tell the man I loved how I felt."

"Me? Brave?" Ben couldn't help but repeat.

"The bravest. Your career aside… What you did for Rey? What you did for all of us?" Poe shook his head, tears welling in his eyes, "You didn't once stop and think about your own safety. All you cared about was saving us. And since the moment we got here, you've kept us alive." Poe sniffled and wiped at his cheeks, suddenly emotional, "Fuck, if it weren't for you, I'd probably already be dead."

Ben frowned. "Poe, don't—"

He shook his head and held up his hands. "Look, my point is, we've beaten all odds by being here and surviving. You've done the scary part. Telling the girl that you love her, or kissing her, or whatever it is that scares you, should be _nothing_ compared to this."

Ben considered his words. After a few moments of staring at his brother, he managed a nod and looked away. "You're right. I need to talk to her."

Poe snorted and began to collect his own sticks. "Yeah, you've needed to talk to her since like, 2002, but hey, better late than never."

With an eyeroll, Ben began his walk back to shoreline with his brother behind, listening to Poe transition to babbling about Finn and their first kiss and the time they got food poisoning from a Thai place by their house and how Finn's parents are insanely wealthy and how they want six kids and that—

Ben just smiled and nodded along. Any other time, he'd be cursing his brother's incessant chattering, but right now, it calmed him.

He hoped it would never end.

-x-x-x-

 _May 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Solo Residence_

 _Ben sat perched up on a kitchen stool, listening to his mother wail. Her theatrics were starting to get on his last nerve, but he knew asking her to stop her crying would not be the best way to handle the situation. To his credit, Poe, who sat beside him, looked just as irritated._

" _You must hate me!" Leia sobbed out, fat tears running down her cheeks, "That's why you're doing this, aren't you? Of all the low things you could do Benjamin!" She hiccupped and leaned against the kitchen counter, "Just say you hate your mother!"_

 _Han wandered into the kitchen and opened the fridge. He spared only a glance at his crying wife and two sons. He groaned. "Christ, did one of you knock a girl up?"_

 _Ben and Poe shared a look before turning to their father, scoffing out a "no" in perfect unison._

" _Then what's got her sobbing? I haven't seen her cry this much since—" Han glanced at Ben, clearly remembering a conversation months ago about Ben's post high school plans. Thankfully, Han was smart enough to stop that line of thought. "What's got her all upset now?"_

 _Leia hiccupped and tossed herself into Han's arms. "Your oldest, that's what! All he wants to do is shatter his poor mother's heart!"_

 _Han grumbled and looked at Ben. "Kid, what did you do?"_

" _I did nothing!" Ben shouted, his cheeks stained pink with irritation, "She asked Poe about pictures before prom and I told her that I wouldn't be taking photos with Poe and his group here. I rather take photos with my teammates."_

 _Leia let out another sob. "How am I going to get pictures of my sons together? First, you're not bringing anyone, and now you're ruining my photos? I hired a gardener for out back just for these shots!"_

 _Ben cursed and pinched his nose. "Mom, those are Poe's friends coming. Not mine."_

" _I didn't know you had friends, kid." Han muttered, before pressing a kiss to his wife's temple, "What's the big deal about taking photos? It's at our house, for Christ sakes. I didn't even think you liked half your teammates."_

 _Ben shrugged and looked away. "We won a state championship together. I was invited to Dryden's place. I don't see the big deal."_

 _Poe snorted and rose to his feet. "Sure, that's what this is about."_

 _Not wanting to deal with his brother, Ben stomped out of the room, ignoring his mother's wails and his father's attempt to comfort her. But, by the time he was halfway up the stairs, he knew his brother was behind him._

" _Go away, Poe. You said you didn't care. They're just some fucking photos."_

" _Not to mom!" Poe hissed out, before grabbing his brother's sleeve, "Stuff is going to change in a few months. Why can't you just give her this? You couldn't give two shits about your teammates. That's not what this is about."_

 _Ben glanced over his shoulder, meeting his brother's kind gaze. He shook his head. "I don't want to talk about this."_

 _Poe frowned. "Dammit, Ben. I know it was like cute or whatever before, the two of you always at each other's throats, but you're fucking 18. You're going to go off and serve our country. If you like a girl, you have to tell her!"_

 _With a grip on the banister so tight it could probably shatter the wood, Ben let out a growl. "Fine, Poe. I'll admit my feelings when you admit yours."_

 _And then he stormed into his room, slamming the door so hard it nearly broke off its hinge._

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Somewhere in the Atlantic

After returning to the Rey and Finn, it seemed Ben's discussion with Poe had inspired his brother to spend time with the man he loved. So, as soon as the fires were replenished, Finn and Poe disappeared beyond the trees, hand in hand.

Rey looked in slightly better spirits, but still wasn't her usual cheerful self. There were few things that Ben genuinely enjoyed in life, and after the days spent on this island, he realized quickly that seeing Rey smile was one of those things.

So, intent on seeing her eyes sparkle and her pearly whites appear, he dropped beside her. She didn't say anything, and instead continued to watch the waves roll in, seemingly fascinated by the vast ocean ahead of them.

"Incredible, isn't it?" Ben whispered, glancing between Rey and the water, "I've always had a thing for the ocean." He chuckled and rubbed at his chin, wishing more than anything he could shave the stumble away, "One of my first memories is of the ocean."

He felt Rey shift and looked towards him. He immediately recognized the tears welling in her eyes. "Funny," She whispered softly, as the first tear rolled down her cheek, "Mine is too."

"Really?" Ben couldn't help himself from asking. Rey rarely spoke of her life before moving in with Chewie. He knew her mother had been a druggie and that Rey spent a year in the foster system in London, but outside of those few details, her life pre-Denver was a mystery.

Rey sniffled and nodded. "I must have been four or five. I don't remember much. But I just have this vivid memory of holding my mother's hand and walking along the sand. The smell of the ocean was so strong," She wiped at her cheeks and looked down, suddenly sad, "I remember begging for something. Ice cream, I think. I don't remember what type. But my mother gave in and went to purchase me one."

She shook her head, fat tears strolling down her cheeks, and continued. "And she dug into her pockets and realized she didn't have enough money. So, I cried and cried and cried until the nice gentleman went ahead and gave it to me for free."

Dropping her head to her knees, she let out a small sob. "We walked away, and I was so bloody happy." Her voice cracked as she continued, "Until I dropped it into the sand."

She wiped her cheeks and looked at Ben, forcing herself to smile. "It's silly now. I don't know why I'm crying." She sniffled and shrugged, now running her fingers through the sand, "I just haven't thought about that in a long time."

Ben frowned and nodded, unsure of how to help. He wanted to hold her and comfort her and to never see her cry again, but he had the feeling that she was angry with him. Considering most of his life was spent with Rey angry at him, it was a feeling he had grown used to.

"If it makes you feel any better," Ben began, studying Rey, "My first memory at the beach was awful too. I was the same age, so it was before Poe was adopted. We went on vacation to Mexico and my Uncle Luke came along."

He tensed, recalling the memory with a shutter, "Well, my parents were arguing. Pretty typical. Luke was supposed to be watching me in the water, but he got caught up in watching over what he thought was a sea turtle's nest, or something."

Ben decided it was best to laugh at the memory, despite it scarring him early on. "Anyways, as you could expect, four-year-old me didn't know how to swim and quickly got swept into the waves. I really thought I was going to die."

He looked at Rey, who watched him intently, her hazel eyes wide. "But this guy saw me struggling. He was on vacation with his family and noticed me. He saved me." He smiled fondly at the rescue and continued, "He had been in the Navy for twenty-five years before retiring."

Rey sniffled and grabbed his hand, running her fingers along the firm skin. "Is that what inspired you to go into the Navy?"

"I think at first, yeah. I thought the guy was a superhero," He admitted, now staring at their hands, "But I knew I wanted to go into the military in some capacity after 9/11." He cleared his throat and looked away, "After my Grandmother died."

Ben touched the necklace hanging on his neck, one that he had rarely taken off since receiving it, so many years ago. It had been gifted to his Grandpa Anakin by his Grandma Padme when they first got married. When his Grandmother died, his Grandfather had essentially died too. He lasted another eighteen months, but that morning in September of 2001 changed everything for him.

Rey frowned and squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry. I remember the funeral."

He shrugged and looked down, trying to forget the memories of his mother screaming and watching the television, still clad in her nightgown, the sun barely over the horizon. "It was a long time ago. And my grandmother ran a charity. So, she died helping others and doing what she loved."

Ben glanced at the water, another bout of silence settling over the pair. After a few moments, he couldn't help but laugh.

"This entire thing really puts shit into perspective, doesn't it?" He asked, glancing over at Rey, "Knowing that we survived but not knowing what's ahead…"

She sniffled and squeezed his hand again. "Yeah. Makes everything else seem so stupid."

"When did we start hating each other?" Ben asked, surprised by his own question.

Rey met his gaze and bit her lip, clearly thinking through their many years together. "I'm not sure. Our first meeting wasn't great. You were kind of an arse and called me Mary Poppins."

Ben immediately chuckled, recalling their first interaction. He shook his head, still smiling. "But was that it?"

"Was there _one_ defining moment?" Rey wondered, staring into his chocolate eyes, "I just feel like it was a combination of our combating personalities and our own insecurities."

"Insecurities?" Ben found himself asking, his eyes locked on Rey.

She nodded. "I always thought we…" She cleared her throat and shrugged, "I always figured you hated me because Poe loved spending time with me, and your mother got the daughter she always wanted, and I got along so well with Chewie and as a result, your dad." She blushed and looked down, suddenly embarrassed, "And I resented you for having this perfect family life, with two loving parents and a brother, and a big house, and all the vacations."

Ben blinked, momentarily stunned by her analysis. Truthfully, he had never sat back and considered the reasons for his rocky relationship with Rey. That was just simply how it had always been.

He cleared his throat and forced himself to look away from her. "But… I feel like there must be more. There have to be other reasons why you hate me."

Rey sighed and continued to draw in the sand. "I never said I hated you, Ben."

He paused, digesting her words. "You have said it. You do hate me. You always have." He flinched and shook his head, before jumping to his feet. "We have _always_ hated each other."

"I don't, Ben. I don't think I ever really did," Rey explained, her voice soft. "Not one bit."

Her words had him recoiling. There was _no way_ Rey didn't hate him. Their entire relationship was filled with hatred. It was precisely why he could never be the man she needed. It was why he could never be the man she deserved.

He took a staggered breath and stepped away. "Yes, you do. We've always hated each other. Since I was a dick and we argued—"

She held up her hands and shook her head. "I don't hate you, Ben. Sure, we bicker, but that's it."

Ben began to shake his head vigorously, refusing to accept her words. "Yes, you do! We do so much more than bicker."

Rey frowned and looked away, her exhaustion clear in her features. "Ben, I don't hate you. Why is that so hard to believe?"

That was a loaded question. He stared at her, desperately trying to process her words. If Rey didn't hate him, what type of feelings did she harbor? His entire life had been framed around his rivalry with Rey. They hated each other. It was their thing.

Rivals. Enemies. Adversaries.

He gulped and ran a hand through his hair. "Because nothing has changed!" He retorted, his heart practically pounding out of his chest, "We still act how we always have."

"We argue. But I never really hated you." She explained, her eyes growing sad.

They stared at each other for a few moments, nothing but the sound of the ocean cutting through the tension. Ben took a few steps away, his face unreadable.

"You do hate me. You've told me so many times over the years. It's why I grew to hate you, Rey. It's why I always have. That's why we fight. There's no other reason," He explained, his voice cold.

He wasn't sure what was true anymore. Why else would he have wasted years fighting and competing with Rey? If they didn't hate each other, what games had they been playing?

Suddenly, he felt like his world was imploding before him.

Rey stood up and met his gaze, her own weary. She shook her head. "I like spending time with you, Ben. Maybe you made me angry when we were young, but I never hated you. I don't know why we fight. That was just how it always was."

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think or speak while staring into her big, very confused, very sad, hazel eyes.

So instead he walked away.

Because things were starting to make sense.

Rey didn't hate him.

He just hated himself.

-x-x-x-

Rey took a moment to steady her breathing, watching as Ben stormed away, his large body moving angrily along the shoreline. Their conversation had left her at a loss for words.

She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out why Ben had such a hard time accepting that she didn't hate him.

Not one bit.

Sure, in their almost twenty years of acquaintanceship, she had felt a lot of things towards Ben Solo. Anger, frustration, irritation, jealousy, attraction, lust….

Love.

She frowned and looked towards the ocean, desperate to remedy the conflicting emotions running through her heart and her head. Yes, she had told Ben she hated him before. On multiple occasions, in fact. But as Rey thought through his most frustrating actions—challenging her in classes, stealing her graduation speech, making her cry—none of those things warranted hatred.

Not when he had contrasting behavior. Not when that same boy taught her how to swim, and helped her learn stick shift, and asked her to her freshman Homecoming dance, and saved her life.

Ben saved her life. She couldn't help but bring a shaking hand to the ragged scar along her head, feeling where his handiwork was now a part of her.

That man saved her life. He had spent every waking moment on this island, trying to help her, Finn, and Poe.

How could she hate him after that?

She felt angry and fed up, but not hatred.

In fact, it finally became clear to her.

She could never hate Ben Solo.

Rey glanced along the shoreline, immediately spotting Ben's massive figure. He was hunched over Finn's previously written 'SOS', clearly trying to enlarge the letters with the aid of a large stick. With a deep breath, she jogged over, only stopping when she could hear his soft pants of his frustration.

"What's wrong?" She finally asked, deciding that she was finished playing games. Rey Johnson had been playing a game with Ben Solo since she was nine years old and it was time for it to end.

He didn't look towards her, instead continuing to drag the large stick through the letters. "Nothing."

"Ben!" She yelled, no longer able to keep her cool, "Look at me and tell me what's fucking wrong!"

With a growl deep in his throat, she watched as he tossed the stick. He stood to his full height, all six feet and three inches, and glared down at her. "You. It's always you."

She crossed her arms and pursed her lips, ever like a petulant child. "What about me?"

Ben ran two massive hands through his hair, pushing his wild mane into all different directions. He dropped his arms with a huff. "You…. You're just so…" He groaned and clenched his fists, his eyes angry, "God, I fucking hate you sometimes."

His words cut deep. It no longer sounded like playful banter. Rey looked away, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. Shaking, she managed to ask, "You really hate me?"

When she finally thought his silence had destroyed her, he spoke. "Yes. I really do." He started, his voice wavering as he moved towards her, "So, I just….. I need you to just…" With a roar to rival any animal in the forest, he moved against her and screamed, "Just shut up!"

Then, like in one of her dreams, he took her face between his massive hands and pressed his lips to hers. Lips that were warm, soft, and felt like the home Rey had spent so long without.

She kissed back with equal vigor, her own hands moving to wrap around his neck, desperate to keep their mouths and tongues entangled. And that's really all it was—a sloppy, passionate, angry kiss, one that featured far too much teeth and tongue.

But it was the best kiss Rey had ever experienced, considering it was almost two decades in the making.

"Ben—" She gasped, her hands drifting up his neck to play in his soft hair, "I—"

He groaned and bit at her lip, his mouth still on hers. "Shut up," He grumbled out, before pressing another ravenous kiss against her lips.

They stood on the sand, the afternoon sun coating their skin in a yellow sheen, lips angrily entangled. Their kiss seemed to never end, their soft gasps and groans, and the lewd sound of lips popping contrasting with the calm sound of the ocean.

Eventually, Rey pushed him away, knowing words were needed. Because she felt things in that kiss. She felt confirmation for years of confusion and yearning.

She finally knew what she wanted.

Ben rubbed at his swollen lips, his eyes wide. He looked at Rey and swallowed. "I gotta uh, fish."

Rey blinked a few times, registering his words. Was he really running away from her again? After the most marvelous kiss in the history of the entire bloody galaxy?

She cleared her throat. "So that's it?"

He stared at her for a few moments, before taking a shaky breath. "Close your eyes."

She glared at him, unbelieving of his words, but he maintained his own ferocious look. She sighed and did as he asked, shutting her eyes. Even under the strong afternoon sunlight, all she could feel on her skin was _Ben_.

Suddenly, the feeling of his presence became physical, as something cool and light dropped against her chest. It took her a moment to realize what was happening, and by the time she felt his fingers run along the back of her neck, his hands were gone.

Her eyes bolted open, immediately landing on Ben's figure, walking away. She wanted to yell after him. To scream, and to cry, and to call him a coward.

But she didn't. Instead, she glanced at her neck, noticing the small chain that now rested against her chest. She picked up the small charm, immediately recognizing the small infinity symbol dangling on the edge. That simple, silver chain, was the same necklace a young Poe had mocked Ben for wearing.

It was the same necklace that had been resting on Ben's neck since his grandfather died, fifteen years ago.

Now, it rested on her neck, sending her heart into a frenzy.

And as she opened her mouth to scream for Ben, to demand that he tell her the things that he must feel, to admit the feelings that she most certainly held, something else stole her attention.

Her eyes shot open as her head jerked to the sky.

Was she officially going island crazy, or was a helicopter circling around the island?

"BEN!" She screamed, tears now pouring down her face. She began to jump up and down, waving her arms frantically, "BEN! THERE'S A HELICOPTER!"

He appeared only seconds later, running up behind her, also waving his arms frantically. She knew she heard Finn and Poe's voices, and movements, but she was too busy holding onto Ben's torso, now sobbing hysterically.

The four watched as the helicopter lowered to the white sand, the overbearingly loud roar of the engine and the air it generated acting as an odd comfort.

And then, in probably a moment Rey would never forget, Han Solo climbed out of the pilot's seat, looking much younger than his sixty-two years of age. He walked along the sand, stopping to stare at the four, his eyes filled with tears.

"Hey, kids. Don't everybody thank me at once."


	12. The Class President and the Prom King

_February 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Tree Hill Park_

 _He was shaking. And it wasn't from the chill of the winter air in Denver. Not when he got to stew in his heated car._

 _Ben let out a frustrated roar and slammed at his dashboard, watching as a few Taco Bell wrappers from the previous weekend dropped to the floor of his car._

 _He hated his parents. He fucking loathed their hypocrisy._

 _How many years had his mother insisted that she would support her children no matter what? How many years had his father never given a shit about anything he did, to now suddenly take a complete 180?_

 _Ben slammed at his dashboard again, surprised by the few tears streaming down his face._

 _For parents that were supposedly so supportive, they had been nothing but. Because apparently, Ben wanting to serve his country, to fight the people who killed his grandmother, who posed a constant threat to the country he loved, was too much for them to take._

 _That evening had been the argument of all arguments. His parents had been vaguely on board with him joining the Navy because his mother had convinced herself he'd first attend the Naval Academy in Maryland. In fact, she already had a list of Colorado congressmen and woman that he could reach out to for letters of recommendation._

 _But he didn't want that. He was sick of school. And when he finally shot his parents down, explaining that there'd be no college, no basketball,_ _ **nothing**_ _, things only took a turn for the worst._

 _It was the fight to end all fights. He called his mother a bitch when her theatrics and screaming hit an all-time high._

 _And then, in a fit of anger, Han tried to hit him. Then Ben tried to hit him back._

 _It was an all-time low for all of them._

 _He was only thankful that Poe wasn't home to witness the meltdown._

 _Not knowing where else to go, Ben took off in his car, realizing that there was no one he could confide in._

 _No one he wanted to confide in._

 _So, he parked at his favorite park, the same place he shot hoops to clear his mind._

 _And he had been sitting in solitude, until his headlights illuminated a figure that caused his throat to dry up._

 _There she stood, bundled in a thick winter coat, a happy dog running ahead of her. Ben vaguely remembered Poe mentioning the cute dog that Rey was pet-sitting for one of Chewie's friends. She seemed at peace, laughing as the dog bolted ahead._

 _But then she froze, meeting Ben's gaze through his frosted windshield. He swallowed, before forcing himself to get out of the car._

 _She looked him up and down and raised an eyebrow._

" _Unlike finding you here not shooting some hoops, Solo. The cold too much for you?" She asked, smirking only feet from him._

 _He just watched her, her presence acting as a balm over his shaking form. "I just needed some time to think."_

 _She bit her lip, clearly considering her next words. "You okay?"_

 _Ben merely shrugged. "I have to be."_

" _Well, that's not exactly healthy," She retorted, before pausing to give the dog a generous rub, "I think even Artoo would agree."_

 _He swallowed and glanced at the silver dog, before looking back to her. "You seem to always be okay."_

 _Rey actually laughed. "Believe me, Solo, I am most certainly not. Every day, when I get home from school, I literally shake checking the mailbox." She sighed and gave the dog another rub, "I mean, can you believe a single piece of mail is going to either make my life or destroy me?"_

" _No. I can't imagine."_

 _She shrugged and yawned. "Well, enjoy your solitude then, Solo. It's kind of creepy just hanging in your car out here but hey, to each their own."_

" _You're the one chatting with the creep, then."_

 _But Rey just rolled her eyes, already walking away._

" _God, you're just such an arsehole!"_

 _Yet, for some reason, the insult only warmed his cold heart._

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Somewhere in the Atlantic

Looking back, everything happened so quickly.

The whirling of the helicopter engine, the mist of sand spattering across the air, the stunned silence of Han Solo staring back at the four of them, tears in his eyes.

She vaguely recalls Chewie climbing out of the flying machine, along with a medic, a kind woman who was quick to rush over, concerned about their wellbeing.

She vaguely recalls the sobbing, and the hugs, and the most emotional she had ever seen her guardian in her entire young life.

She vaguely recalls watching the small island disappear into the distance, the man-made huts of wood and foliage becoming smaller and smaller as the helicopter lifted into the air.

She vaguely recalls her own tear-stained cheeks and blurry vision impending the view.

But she definitely remembers Ben grabbing her hand, his big one keeping her safe, never separating as they flew off into the distance.

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

Miami Homestead General Aviation Airport

Alternatively, the sight that met their helicopter on that stretch of airfield in Miami would forever be seared into her memory.

Leia, looking unlike the Leia Rey knew, the bubbly woman with sparkling brown eyes and an infectious smile replaced with something far more devastating. With sunken cheeks, bags under her eyes, and what appeared to be the weight of the world on her shoulders, the smiling woman of Rey's youth was gone.

Finn's parents, who despite their luxurious clothes and regal demeanor, looked absolutely wrecked.

The paramedic staff stationed beside a Miami County ambulance, clearly ready for whatever was waiting inside that helicopter.

And just as the reunion with Han and Chewie was a blur, so too was reuniting was Leia.

Rey had stood by Chewie's side, reveling in just the proximity to her guardian, watching the happy families.

Finn sandwiched between his parents, hushed words whispered between the three.

Leia bouncing between sons, her words coming out in choked gasps.

Tears streaming down the woman's face, the color finally returning to her cheeks.

Han standing beside her, comfortably rubbing her shoulder, his own eyes glistening.

She would never forget that moment.

She would never want to.

-x-x-x-

July 2018

Miami, Florida

Dac Resort and Spa

After an emotional reunion, the foursome was given a rather in-depth evaluation by the onsite medical staff, receiving shots and vaccines for random tropical ailments Rey had never heard of. As soon as they were given the all clear, the entire group was escorted to a local resort.

Rey recalled little of the ride over, surprised by her own lack of excitement over being back in a car, or enjoying the air conditioning.

In fact, all she focused on during the ride was Leia.

Specifically, the older woman holding her sons' hands for the entire drive.

Specifically, the two grown boys, never once fighting the affection.

-x-x-x-

Rey offered no argument after being handed a room key. They were instructed to shower and change into the clothes provided in the rooms, before meeting Leia, Han, and Chewie in the presidential suite for a meal.

A _real_ meal.

But, as much as the promise of hot food and _meat_ delighted her, she was far more excited for the feeling of hot water pounding against her sun-kissed skin.

Of hot water caressing the delicate chain resting on her neck.

She didn't allow herself too long of a shower—not when the promise of food was calling from the top floor of the hotel.

After slipping into a sundress that Rey presumed was purchased from the hotel lobby, she ventured upstairs, the lights and the air conditioning and just everything attacking her in an intense sensory overload.

But those feelings disappeared when she entered the suite, her heart in her throat at the sight of Leia once again embracing her sons, Chewie and Han watching contently from a distance. And while Finn and his parents were enjoying their own reunion somewhere else in the hotel, Rey could only imagine the same embrace unfolding within the Storm family.

However, when Rey joined the group, the sweet reunion shifted into what could only be described as an eating contest. While the logical side of Rey knew the platters of chicken and vegetables and bread and beef and everything she could ever want would not disappear, she couldn't help herself.

She was a fiend, stuffing her face with chicken drumsticks and pasta and cake and anything she could get her hands on.

In fact, it took her until her third plate to realize that everyone else was talking.

"—Then we started capsizing," Ben continued, his deep voice causing butterflies to fill Rey's stomach, "The boat wasn't properly prepared. There weren't any lift bags, the control board was fried by the incoming water, the life boat was jammed…" He shook his head and paused to shove a forkful of pasta into his mouth, "And then Rey hit her head. I had to give her stitches as water filled the boat."

At Ben's words, Rey couldn't help but run her fingers across the jagged stitches in her head. She vaguely recalled the paramedic mentioning that she could get them removed, but that would be for another time.

She was more interested in listening to Ben retell their…adventure.

"—I just kept swimming until I found land," He added gently, glancing over at Rey and Poe before looking back to his parents, "And then we just… survived."

Rey watched as Leia leaned forward, wiping a dab of pesto from Ben's chin. The sweet gesture, and Ben's unusual appeasement of his mother nearly made Rey burst into tears.

"You didn't check for lift bags?" Han asked, studying his sons, "I thought I taught you better than that."

Poe immediately cut in, looking downcast. "It was my fault. The rental company gave me a list of what was included, and I just took it at face value. I know it was stupid."

He shifted, a frown painted across his usually happy features, "It almost killed us."

"How did you find us?" It took a moment before it occurred to Rey that said question had escaped her own lips.

Lips that returned to aggressive eating of tender steak and warm, French bread.

Leia set down her cup of tea and glanced between Ben, Poe, and Rey, her face somber. When she started to speak, it nearly had Rey burst into tears yet again.

"Your Uncle called me," Leia began, referring to the elusive Luke that Rey had only met a handful of times, "He said he had a funny feeling. He asked about you two. Wondered how you were." She sniffled and shifted in the seat, clearly antsy, "I didn't think much of it, until I remembered the last time he called with a funny feeling."

Ben glanced at his mother, his eyes sad. "I remember."

"Interesting, isn't it? Before, it was just a Monday night in September. I didn't think anything of it then and I didn't think anything of it now. Perhaps I should start taking your Uncle more seriously."

Han dropped beside his wife, grabbing her hand with a gentle smile. Leia sniffled and looked back at her sons, her cheeks glowing.

"When I didn't get any texts from Poe, I got concerned. He was sending me stuff from Miami daily," She glanced at the aforementioned son, her eyes shining with admiration, "He knows I love seeing how you two are doing. So I was expecting stuff from Turks and when it didn't arrive I…" She laughed and shook her head, "Well, I flipped out and contacted the hotel. They said you all never checked in."

She cleared her throat and looked down. "Then I called the port. They said the boat never arrived."

Han squeezed his wife's hand. "Your mother was hysterical," He added softly, "But maybe I wasn't much better."

Leia sniffled and continued her story. "Then began the worst period in my life. Dealing with the coast guard, trying to track the boat, wondering if you all made it…"

She let out a sob and shook her head, "Because the entire time, I didn't know if this was going to be a rescue or a recovery mission."

With a deep breath, she calmed herself and continued speaking. "Of course, with a serviceman involved, and my position, we got some press attention. With the aid of the coast guard and the navy, we pinpointed a one-hundred mile stretch that we thought…" She sniffled and wiped at her cheeks, "We hoped you could be."

"You must have spent so much money," Rey found herself choking out, immediately embarrassed by her words.

But Leia merely laughed. "Han and I would have sold everything if we needed to. But if you think our family is well-off, you'd be blown away by the money the Storms contributed for the search."

"We spent about a week searching until we saw the smoke," Han added, looking at his sons with a sort of reverence Rey had never seen before, "And then we knew everything was worth it."

The group settled into a comfortable silence, even the sound of chewing ceasing. Leia rose to her feet and approached her children, pressing soft kisses to both of the cheeks. She then turned to Rey, her eyes dropping to the familiar pendant resting on her neck.

Leia smiled softly and pressed a wet kiss to Rey's cheek. But, before pulling away, she whispered into the girl's ear.

"It seems we all endured changes of the heart while you were away."

Rey was left speechless, even as the older woman scurried away, a grin across her lips.

-x-x-x-

Ben wasn't one for sharing his emotions. He grew up with a father who had an allergy to saying "I love you", and while his mother attempted to be affectionate, she normally reserved her nurturing side for Poe, someone who was far more appreciative of the coddling.

So, Ben assumed the past few hours would have been more difficult. That the nonstop hugging and kissing and hand-holding and cheek caressing would have gotten to him.

But it didn't. Not one bit.

Because whenever his mother kissed his cheek or whispered that she loved him, Ben uttered the words back.

And not just to his mother.

To his father. To Chewie. To anyone that would listen.

Except the girl with freckled cheeks and sun-kissed skin.

Because no matter the bloodshed he'd faced, or the oceans he'd swam, such a confession still scared his blood cold.

In the morning, they'd return to Denver. Return to the real world, as if they hadn't been stranded on an island for weeks, worried about what was coming next.

His Commanding Officer had already given him a call, communicating just how thrilled everyone was to hear about his safe return. Ben had been given another two weeks to settle in before he was expected back.

As it turns out, returning to the real world also meant returning to deployment, no matter how unique the circumstances.

Of course, Ben was thrilled for the extra time to adjust, but a deep-seated dread coiled in his belly at the thought of leaving again. In fact, never in his life had he ever dreaded his deployment.

Yet at the thought of again leaving his family, he was suddenly singing a different tune.

But part of him knew his hesitation wasn't just separating from his family.

His hesitation had a name. One that he had been muttering in frustration for almost twenty years.

It was the name of the girl he had been pointedly steering clear of since returning to Miami. While both of their attention's were presently captured by returning to his parents and Chewie, he also knew he was going out of his way to not be alone with her.

Unfortunately, he was willing to allow himself to stew in blissful ignorance for a little while longer, especially as he returned to his room, but his brother appeared before him, immediately destroying those dreams.

"I feel sick," Poe groaned, rubbing at his stomach, "Maybe I should have taken it easy. I had probably the equivalent of thirty ounces of steak. And like a fourth of that cake."

Ben merely nodded, digging into the soft sweat pants he wore, the resort name embroidered along the leg. He retrieved his room key and glanced at Poe. "You just need some sleep. That's all."

Poe nodded and yawned. "Yeah, but Finn is with his parents, and I don't want to sleep until he's back. I don't know if I can fall asleep without him."

With a nod, Ben ventured into his room, Poe wordlessly following behind. He mindlessly paced, something that immediately caught his brother's attention.

"You okay?" Poe followed with, studying his brother carefully, "I know this has been kind of crazy." With a laugh, Poe shook his head, "Well, not kind of. Definitely crazy."

Ben dropped to the foot of his bed and sighed. "I did it."

His brother raised an eyebrow. "Did what?"

"I kissed her. I finally kissed her."

Poe offered his signature grin and nudged his brother's shoulder. "Thank god! It's about time Ben. Christ, how long did that take you? Fifty years?"

Ben rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "Shut up, Poe."

"What now? You two finally together? Is it time for us to double date?"

His brother's question had Ben tensing up. He cleared his throat and shook his head. "I don't think I should do it again. Now when I'm leaving."

Poe pursed his lips and shifted, watching Ben with a sort of intensity that filled him with anxiety. "I'm sorry. Backup. What was that?"

"I said I don't think I should—"

His brother held up his hand, signaling for Ben to stop speaking. "No, don't continue. I heard you. I just needed confirmation that you really, truly, are a fucking idiot."

Ben narrowed his eyes. "Look, I know you think you're helping, but this is my life—"

"No!" Poe exclaimed, stepping forward to poke at his brother's chest, "This is yours _and_ Rey's life. It's her feelings too. And frankly, I'm kind of fucking sick of you two toying with each other. You kissed her. You very clearly care about her. You can't possibly think this is the right thing to do!"

Poe's words weren't anything new to Ben—he was preaching to the choir, as far as Ben was concerned.

Because when it came down to it, what exactly did Ben want?

His desires hadn't changed in fifteen years.

But it wasn't as simple as going after what he wanted. It was a question of what Rey deserved.

And it wasn't a guy who rarely would be home. Someone who couldn't be around for breakfasts in bed, or to raise their children, or to be dragged to Sunday mass with his parents.

"She deserves more than what I can offer her," Ben found himself muttering, his eyes locked on the ground, "I can't be who she wants or needs."

Poe shook his head and stepped towards the door. "Okay. I'm officially done. I can't reason with you anymore. You care about her and she cares about you. Is it really so wrong for you to finally give into what you want?"

His brother opened the door and stepped out, continuing to look at Ben. "You need to stop punishing yourself. I know you think you don't deserve to be happy, or whatever, but it's bullshit. You love her and she loves you. Be a fucking man and tell her."

As the door slammed shut, Ben remained on the foot of his bed, his heart hammering in his chest.

Could Rey really love him?

The thought made him nauseous.

Mainly because it finally confirmed his own feelings.

He was in love with Rey Johnson.

-x-x-x-

When Rey finally found herself buried under blankets in a California King, moonlight streaming into her hotel room, she assumed falling asleep would be an easy task.

That she would simply just close her eyes, and everything would be over.

That none of what occurred over the past month was real.

That she was still in fact sitting in her bath tub back home, delirious after one glass too many of wine.

But sleep did not come easily. In fact, it didn't come at all.

It had taken her a few minutes to put two and two together, but she quickly realized her own discomfort was the lack of a warm body beside her.

Instinct took over.

She barely had the right mind to grab her room key before she raced out of her room.

-x-x-x-

It wasn't a surprised when Ben opened his door, looking just as unrested as she did. In fact, as he stared at her in surprise, Rey indulged herself and let her eyes dance across his exposed skin.

Because bathed only in the moonlight and the dim light of the hotel hallway, he looked decadent. He was shirtless—a state of undress that Rey had gotten _very_ used to—and wearing only a pair of sweatpants.

"Hi," She managed out, surprised by the sound of her own voice, "Can I come in?"

Ben wordlessly stepped aside, letting her join him inside. As soon as she crossed the threshold, he shut the door and turned to her, studying her with unyielding eyes.

"I don't want to fight," He practically whispered, looking as tired as Rey had ever seen him, "Not right now. Not today."

Rey swallowed and merely nodded. "Neither do I."

"Okay."

"Okay."

They stared at each other for a few moments, before Ben reached out his hand.

She didn't think twice before grabbing it.

Within moments they were tucked into his bed, his arms wrapped around her protectively, his face buried in her hair.

He was warm and safe and comfortable and everything she needed in that moment.

Falling asleep was easy.

-x-x-x-

So was waking up. Especially when one massive hand held her entire right breast, and the other gripped her leg, pushing it until her knee nearly met her stomach.

Especially when a hot mouth sucked at the sensitive skin of her neck.

Especially when aggressive thrusts slammed his hips into her ass, each movement causing her to see stars.

"Ben," She cried out, her hands pulling at the crisp white sheets of the hotel bed, "Please don't stop!"

He growled and increased the pace of his thrusts, his hand continuing to paw at her breasts. He let go of the skin of her neck with a loud smack, instead moving his lips to her shoulder.

"So fucking good, Rey," He moaned out, his teeth digging into her smooth skin, "You feel so good."

She knew exactly what he meant. Because with every thrust, with every caress of her skin, she was even closer to falling apart.

But she didn't want to fall apart with her face buried into blinding white.

Not when something so warm clung to her backside.

"Stop," She gasped out, desperately shifting beneath him, "Ben, stop—"

The man behind her stopped moving, despite his shaking body. Rey could only imagine the self-control he was exercising in that very moment.

"What's wrong?" He gasped out, pushing up on his elbow to stare down at her, "Are you okay?"

She swallowed and nodded, before shifting, effectively disconnecting them, no matter how desperately her body cried otherwise. Once content on her back, she reached for him.

"Like this," She whispered, tugging his hand towards her, "I want to see you."

A glimpse of something crossed his otherwise captivated face. Rey wasn't sure if it was fear, or hesitance, or excitement.

But he wordlessly obeyed her request, settling so he was atop her, quickly pushing back into her lithe form as if nothing had changed.

And then he resumed his movements. He continued his focused thrusts, so perfectly hitting a spot inside her that she was truly beginning to wonder if his body was simply made to pleasure hers.

Except she did this to meet his eyes. To stare into chocolate and whiskey and coffee and _warmth_.

"Look at me," She cried out, growing frustrated by the way his eyes had drifted closed, "Look at me, Ben!"

And so, he did, his eyes opening to lock on hers. He continued his pace, staring at her with so much intensity that she could feel the tears escaping the corner of her eyes.

"Rey," He choked out, his hands moving to her legs to force them further apart, "You were fucking made for me."

With one hand running through his sweat slicked hair and the other rubbing at his cheek, she finally gave into one of her deepest desires.

In fact, the sweet way she kissed him was almost humorous given the intensity of the way he was fucking her. But she persisted, kissing him with earnest and a tenderness that she didn't think she was capable of.

Maybe it was all they needed.

Because they both came apart quickly, dropping to the mattress in a tangled mess of satiated limbs, their kissing never stopping.

-x-x-x-

Rey wasn't sure how anything happened. She was practically hypnotized when she ventured to his room the previous evening, and the rate at which she had fallen asleep in his arms was almost comical.

Then, when they both awoke in each other's arms that morning, a rather insistent erection from Ben digging into her ass, things sort of just… happened.

How could she not give in?

Sure, she had no idea where they stood, especially since the last time they had a real conversation he had basically said he hated her before attacking her with his perfectly plush lips. But as it stood, she was practically home, reunited with people she never thought she would see again, and burdened with the memories of this beautiful man saving her life and destroying her over and over again.

There was no way she could say no to the wants of her body, not after finally reveling in the feeling of Ben Solo ravaging her.

And after their morning in bed, things sort of escalated from there. He joined her in the shower, taking his sweet time to help her shampoo her hair and soap up every inch of skin. Then, only when they were too pruney and warm to spend another moment under the hot water, they returned to bed, clad in only the resort-provided terry cloth robes.

They feasted on breakfast that Leia had presumably sent up, the cart curiously set for two, despite the woman having no way of knowing that Rey had joined her son sometime during the evening.

But instead of obsessing about the state of the food, they sat on the bed, eating in virtual silence.

It drove her fucking mad.

"So…" She began, before munching on a slice of bacon, "Poe said something about Finn's parents chartering a flight for us back to Denver."

Ben nodded and sipped his coffee. "Since we had so much luck on private transportation the first time."

She couldn't help but smile, despite the not-so-funny nature of his comment. With a shrug, she bit into her toast. "I'm just excited to be home. My poor team…" She frowned and bit her lip, for the first time considering what her absence must have meant for Rose and everyone else at Learnable.

"I know what you mean," Ben muttered, before shoving a forkful of eggs into his mouth, "My commanding officer already called. Apparently, he had been in contact with my mother during the entire… ordeal."

Rey frowned and nodded. "I'm just looking forward to returning back to how things were."

Ben couldn't help but laugh. He nodded in agreement and rubbed at his eyes. "You can say that again. They gave me two weeks but then it's back to work."

At his words, Rey couldn't help but tense up. Her plate was quickly abandoned as she shifted her attention to Ben.

"What do you mean back to work?" She found herself asking, her voice small.

He blinked a few times, clearly confused by her question. "I missed my deployment while we were away, Rey. Obviously given the circumstances there's no penalty but…" He shifted and set his own food down, "I still need to go. They're just being accommodating."

Despite his words, Rey still found herself unable to comprehend his meaning. What the hell was he telling her?

That after almost dying, after she almost lost him, he was leaving again?

No. That couldn't be it.

"You're leaving again?" She asked, her voice small, "How can you be fine being deployed after what we just went through?"

Ben cleared his throat and looked away, clearly uncomfortable meeting her gaze. "It's my job, Rey. It's what I do for a living. What just happened to us changes nothing."

Suddenly, his words had her rising to her feet. "Changes nothing?" She practically cried out, her heart hammering out of her chest, "We almost died! We could still be there, forever lost in the middle of the ocean!" She began to pace, shaking in the terry-cloth robe, "And you're just going back to war and danger?"

"You said it yourself," He began, his voice soft, "You're ready to return back to how things were. Your 'how things were' was and is much different than mine."

Her lip quivered. "I just thought…" She shook her head and sniffled, "I thought this would have changed things."

Ben swallowed and looked away. "My job isn't negotiable, Rey."

She turned away, unable to form words. If she sat down and thought long and hard about his words, she knew she was being ridiculous.

Ben was a Navy SEAL. It was his job to serve his country until he was no longer able to do so. Just because he single-handedly saved her life and took care of her in the wild would change nothing.

It couldn't change anything.

No matter how desperately Rey wished it could.

"You know," She began, her voice laced with emotion, "My entire life, you've been this unattainable… thing always hanging around." She sniffled and focused on the gorgeous beach view, her stomach twisting with the memories of the last time she felt sand between her toes, "No one has ever made such little sense to me as you."

Her lip quivered as she forced herself to continue speaking. "Everyone welcomed me with such open arms when I got here. Your parents, your brother, the entire community. Except for you, Ben." She let out a noise that could only be interpreted as a sob, "Except for you. You've never accepted me and for once I just want to know why."

He stared at her, clearly paralyzed by her words, unable to speak as she began to cry.

"That's not true," He finally forced out, his voice barely a whisper.

"Is it not?" She hiccupped, before wiping at her cheeks, "Because you were a brat to me when we were kids. And in high school, you went out of your way to one up with your stupid fucking basketball and awards and—"

Ben narrowed his eyes and stepped forward. "And you don't think you did the same to me?" He hissed back, his face caught between anger and sadness, "All you ever did was throw my wealth and my privilege in my face. You got angry when people placed me on a pedestal and dammit Rey, I never fucking asked for any of that!"

He ran a hand through his hair and began to pace. "If I wanted to fucking revel in attention for playing ball, don't you think I would have gone off and played in college? Played professionally? I hate the spotlight. I always have." He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, "I quit one of the only things I ever loved, one of the only things I was ever good at, simply because I couldn't stand the attention."

"And by the way," He continued, suddenly on a roll, "It was bullshit that me shooting fucking hoops outshined you doing real work in the community. It was bullshit that you couldn't give our graduation speech because our principal wanted to kiss the governor's ass. It was bullshit that the universe decided that anything that benefited me had to shit on you."

Rey sniffled, momentarily stunned silent by his words. Until, or course, she registered his response, and suddenly she was on _fire_ in a way she hadn't been since she was eighteen years young.

"Don't blame this on the fucking universe!" She practically screamed, her body vibrating with anger, "Don't pretend you're so fucking innocent! You constantly toyed with my feelings. You got some sick fucking kick out of seeing me upset!"

She pointed an accusatory finger at him. "You went out of your way to mock me freshmen year for not having a Homecoming date. You made sure to rub hooking up with Kaydel in my face—"

"Kaydel Connix?" He interjected, "What the hell are you talking about?"

But Rey wasn't finished. "You were nothing but an asshole to Snap when he was around—"

Ben growled and stepped forward, his eyes blown back. "Stop talking. Stop talking right now." He shook his head angrily, "How fucking dare you accuse me of being an asshole when that piece of shit tried to destroy you!"

And then his anger barreled on. "But where do you get off acting like you didn't rub your relationship with Calrissian in my face whenever you got the chance?" He spat back, frustration positively oozing from him, "You weren't fucking innocent, Rey."

She shook her head furiously. "What the hell are you talking about? First of all, Lando and I were never even an item and—"

Ben tensed and moved away, causing Rey to swallow her words. He stared at the balcony door for a few moments before turning to face her.

"Don't you get it, Rey?" He finally whispered, his face clearly tired, "I never had a thing with Kaydel. I never had a thing with anyone. Not until I was fucking 21 years old and my squadron caught wind of me never having kissed of girl. They practically forced me to get shitfaced enough to find a Frog Hog to just get it over with."

His shoulders dipped, the exhaustion taking over.

"I asked you to Homecoming because I thought you were cute. I bought you flowers to ask you to prom before Lando beat me to it," He looked away and shook his head, "Hell, at Finn's graduation party, I nearly told you how I felt until I walked in on you and Lando sucking face."

Rey just stared at him, unable to form words. He cursed and dropped to one of the chairs, his eyes sad.

"I want you to go into my emergency pack. Inside you'll find my grandfather's bible."

She wasn't sure what drove her to listen to his commands, but she obeyed him wordlessly. And as soon as she retrieved the tattered book, her fingers found the natural opening, flipping to a random page in the middle of the book.

Rey nearly dropped the book when she discovered a photo of herself staring back at her.

A photo of herself that she didn't know existed. One that looked like it was taken back in college, the edges showing its almost decade of use.

She looked at Ben, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You were all I wanted when I was eighteen, Rey," He finally whispered, forcing himself to meet her watery, hazel gaze, "Because when I considered what joining the military meant, I didn't give two shits about the lack of vacation time, or no flexibility to see my family, or only eating Taco Bell twice a year."

He cursed and dropped his head to his hands. "It was not seeing you that had me second guessing everything."

"But you didn't." Rey managed, staring at the photo.

He cleared his throat. "You're right. I didn't second guess myself. I still enlisted."

"Why?" She croaked out, the tears practically burning her skin.

Ben shifted and looked over her shaking form. "Because I thought you hated me."

"Sometimes I really think I do," She cried out, before slamming the photo down and retrieving her room key.

As she stormed to the door, she stopped to look back at the man in the corner, her body shaking in anger. "You don't get to sit here and claim you loved me for a decade!"

"And why not?" He finally roared, jumping to his feet, "What if I've always loved you just as much as I've hated you?"

But before she could speak, a loud knock came from the door.

"Ben? Are you awake? We want to head to the airfield soon," Poe's voice filtered into the tense room, leaving Rey and Ben to simply stare at one another.

And before Ben could respond, Rey ripped open the door and looked at Poe, causing the man to jump back in surprise.

"Jesus, Rey, you scared me. I didn't realize you were with Ben—"

She sniffled and shoved past him, storming to her own room.

"Don't worry. I'm not."

And once she was safely in her own hotel room, she finally allowed herself to burst into tears.

 _-x-x-x-_

 _May 2012_

 _Cambridge, Massachusetts_

 _Harvard University, Harvard Yard_

 _Rey was shaking. Absolutely, positively, shaking as she listened to the Dean of the University, drone on and on about the wonderful accomplishments of the class of 2012. Suddenly, she wished she had followed the trend of many of her classmates and gotten completely shitfaced before the event itself._

 _But she wanted to remember this moment. She wanted to remember when Rey Johnson, the orphaned girl of a druggie and a no one, graduated from Harvard._

 _Beside her, Rose leaned over and groaned. "God, this is taking forever. Just imagine how long the afternoon ceremony is going to be."_

 _Rey bit her lip and nodded. She knew commencement would be long—two ceremonies filled with lots of speakers, and during the second in the afternoon, the handing out of hundreds of diplomas. But she knew the minute she walked across the stage later that afternoon, it would just all be worth it._

 _Finally, after what seemed like hours, the band began to play, and the graduates were led out, soon to rejoin their families for a small break before the next ceremony. Rose smiled and gave her friend a hug._

" _I see my family, so we'll catch up later, okay?" Rose said, looking just as cheerful as Rey, "I have to go diffuse some tension. Both sets of grandparents came and well…" She laughed and shook her head, "They don't exactly get along. Poor Paige is probably pulling her hair out."_

 _Rey nodded and smiled. "Tell them I said hello!" As Rose ran off, Rey sighed and looked around the grassy area, filled with thousands of people, the graduates sticking out in the black and crimson robes. She knew Chewie was sitting off towards the sides, having met him earlier in the morning. He had flown in last night and was weary from the time difference, but overall excited to both see her and celebrate her big day._

 _So, admittedly, it was a huge shock when she rounded the family seating and saw that his massive form was not alone. He was joined by three more people._

 _Han, Leia…_

 _And Ben._

 _Given that Finn and Poe were unable to fly in because they were still in the midst of finals, Rey did not expect to see Han and Leia. As exciting as graduating was, the commencement ceremonies were well…_

 _Painful. Long, dull, and extremely overcrowded._

 _It was beyond her why anyone would want to show up for one of these ceremonies when it wasn't their child doing the graduating._

 _Maybe their attendance was the last confirmation Rey needed._

 _Han and Leia saw her as a daughter._

 _But her excitement of seeing them took a back seat when her eyes landed on the other massive form lingering by Chewie._

 _Despite his distance, Rey was still awed by the sheer size of him._

 _His bulging muscles, his thick thighs, even his massive hands momentarily had her blushing something fierce. Like most of the other male attendees, he was dressed in a fitted button down, the expensive material clinging to his thick limbs._

 _And while she desperately missed the shaggy hair he sported in high school, he still looked incredibly handsome with his hair chopped short._

 _Unwilling to go another moment without greeting the group, she jogged over, uncaring that she'd be paying the price of wearing cute, wedged sandals later in the day. At the present, the only thing that mattered was seeing some of the people she cared most about._

 _As soon as she stumbled in front of the four, her eyes met Ben's. And despite showing up to_ _ **her**_ _graduation, he looked absolutely floored to see her. Shock, and surprise, and astonishment painted across his features._

 _She cleared her throat and glanced at Han and Leia. "You guys came! What a surprise!"_

 _Leia pulled Rey into her arms. "Please, as if we'd miss this! Poe is still devastated he couldn't make it."_

 _Rey smiled softly, recalling the phone conversation she had with the aforementioned boy and his boyfriend the previous week. "I know. Him and Finn talked about flying in last night, but both have a huge final tomorrow. It just seemed silly," She shifted on her feet and bit her lip, "Besides, I'll be at theirs next week."_

 _After accepting a hug and some hushed words of congrats from Han, she turned to Ben. The two simply stared at one another, seemingly incapable of producing words. Finally, however, Rey managed to speak._

" _Ben… I had no idea you were coming home," She began, desperately trying to prevent her voice from cracking._

 _He shifted and ran a hand through his hair, a nervous tick Rey had picked up on years ago. "Yeah, I uh… I didn't know if I'd be able to."_

 _She merely nodded. "And Han and Leia dragged you here?"_

 _Ben cleared his throat and shrugged. "Something like that."_

 _Unfortunately, their catch-up was cut short by the university representatives, wandering around and waving for the graduates to make their way to the smaller ceremonies. In this one, Rey would hear her name called and get the chance to walk across the stage._

 _And as she walked the length of her beloved campus for seemingly the last time, sandwiched between three people who raised her, she grew frustrated with herself._

 _Her dreams of shedding her pathetic upbringing of an orphan, of a child of a druggie, of the definition of having a chip on her shoulder…_

 _The goal was in reach. Within two hours, she'd hold a slip of paper declaring her a graduate of the best university in the country._

 _No, she realized, the_ _ **world**_ _._

 _But as she stumbled along the pavement, dodging between other happy graduates and their families, a scary thought occurred to her._

 _Another glance at the boy behind her, the same boy who had proverbially pulled her pigtails and called her names for her entire life, had her preoccupied with a slew of other, unrelated thoughts._

 _How could she care about stumbling across a stage in uncomfortable heels when Ben Solo was in the crowd, watching her with his gentle eyes and pouty lips?_

 _It appeared that nothing had changed._

 _Four years and one degree later, Rey still felt like she hadn't learned anything._

 _Not when Ben Solo was concerned._

-x-x-x-

August 2018

Denver, Colorado

Solo Residences

The return to Denver had been bittersweet. Rey was relieved to return to her beloved apartment, despite having a pile of bills and many dead plants to take care of. Returning to work had been equally as difficult, but her fantastic team had made everything work in her absence.

Reuniting with Rose had been yet another tearful afternoon, spent blubbering and shaking with relief.

Of course, their story had turned them into not only local celebrities, but also had them making national headlines.

Poe was already going on about writing a book.

But as for Rey, the past week had been hard. She and Ben had gone out of their way to avoid each other.

She found herself unable to restart their abandoned conversation from back in Miami.

Nothing made sense to her anymore.

Because the boy who she thought hated her, the boy who she thought enjoyed making her life miserable…

Well according to him, he didn't.

Not one bit.

And apparently, confronting her feelings was very much not Rey's strong suit.

So, she threw herself back into work and getting used to life after the nightmare.

But she never forgot the impending deadline.

One week.

She had one week to figure things out.

One week before he disappeared.

Just like he always did.

Rey was distracted from her inner turmoil as the man captivating her thoughts strolled into his childhood kitchen, looking just as tired as she felt. Her eyes immediately met his.

Suddenly, she couldn't breathe.

"So where are we going for lunch?" Leia asked, wandering into the kitchen with Poe and Finn following closely behind.

Thankfully, the arrival of the rest of Ben's family didn't allow them to finally have yet another conversation. But, even their presence did little to prevent her from just admiring the strong man, lurking in the corner.

Han followed closely behind his wife and looked over Poe and Finn with a raised eyebrow. "Why are you two so dressed up? Leia promised me diner food."

His wife rolled her eyes and smacked at his chest. "I most certainly did not! I said it was up to the kids."

Poe and Finn shared a look, small smiles building on their lips. With a deep breath, Poe began to speak.

"About that. Lunch is going to have to wait a bit."

Finn blushed and jumped in. "Because we're stopping at the courthouse."

"We're getting married," Poe finished off.

Well, that announcement drew Rey's attention from studying Ben in the corner. She cleared her throat and glanced at her best friends. Leia, however, beat Rey to speaking.

"A courthouse wedding? I didn't even know you two were engaged! I assumed you'd want a big wedding," She exclaimed, looking torn between delight and concern, "Poe, I thought you always wanted something massive and—"

Her son immediately held up his hand. "I did. At one point. But after almost losing each other, we've decided that all that matters is our closest family being around."

"And my parents are here for the rest of the month. Ben is here. This is the time to do it," Finn finished off, excitement rolling off his features.

Leia rushed forward and embraced the men, before breaking into sobs. "Okay. Let's have a wedding."

-x-x-x-

August 2018

Denver, Colorado

Denver City Courthouse, Clerk & Recorder Office

Rey was starting to wonder if her body could produce more tears. Because as it stood, in the past nine days, she had cried more than she ever had.

And as she stood in the tiny, air-conditioned room, watching her two best friends become married in the eyes of the law, she couldn't stop herself.

She cried and cried and cried.

As expected, she wasn't alone. Leia was equally as emotional. Han was stoic was usual, as was Chewie, but thankfully Finn's parents balanced their calm and collected viewing with sniffles and wet eyes.

And then there was Ben.

He looked dashingly handsome in a button-down shirt, his focus completely centered on his brother and future brother-in-law.

And while he wasn't tearful, he looked touched. Reverent, almost.

Rey could only imagine what was running through his head.

Because she had been wondering it for almost twenty years.

When Finn and Poe shared their first kiss as a married couple, Rey was inconsolable.

Everything just seemed to hit at once.

Her best friends finally getting their happily ever after. Almost dying. Ben leaving.

The sad state of her own love life.

So, she didn't think twice when Ben wrapped his arms around her, pressing a shaking kiss to her temple as he led her to a bench to sit down.

As he rocked her back and forth, letting her sob, he pressed his lips to her ear and whispered words so gentle that Rey wasn't sure she had heard him.

"It's okay," He murmured, his lips ghosting across her ear, "I feel it too."

-x-x-x-

 _May 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Solo Residence_

 _Ben took another look in the mirror, knowing he was going to dread the coming evening. He really, truly, hated wearing tuxedos. Sure, given his mother's line of work, he probably had more experience in the constricting menswear than most, but he still hated the way the thick material clung to his limbs._

 _He supposed he was lucky that his mother had insisted on purchasing him and Poe tuxes instead of going the normal prom route and renting them. Ben shuttered at the thought of the fit of a rental tux. Even if this one was uncomfortable, it was certainly lightyears ahead of anything a rental store would have provided him._

 _With another glance, he stepped away from the mirror, knowing he looked as good as he could. Happy with how his hair looked, he gave himself one more spritz of cologne before finally leaving his bedroom._

 _Once in the hallway however, he immediately regretted leaving his haven. Poe stood in the upstairs hallway, still only in a button down and boxers, frantically combing at his hair._

" _It looked so flat!" He cried out, continuing his combing, "So I tried to curl it! But now I look like a poodle!"_

 _Ben rolled his eyes and looked at his watch. "Well, your friends are due in like forty-five minutes, so your clock is winding down."_

 _Poe let out a frustrated cry but momentarily calmed down at the sight of Han wandering up the stairs, beer in hand. "Dad! DAD! My hair is a mess! What do I do?"_

 _Han looked at Poe's hair and snorted before walking into his bedroom. "Shave it off." He retorted, in all seriousness. And knowing their father, Han was mentally preparing for the houseful of randy teenagers and his emotional wife that would soon be taking over the property._

 _But as their father moved to shut the bedroom door, ready to isolate himself before all hell broke loose, he stopped, his face twisting into a smile, "Well, my, don't you look beautiful!"_

 _Ben and Poe shared looks of confusion, only seeing their father's back and half of the oak door blocking the master bedroom. But the door soon opened, showing Leia fussing over Rey's hair._

" _Calrissian's boy is in for a treat!" Han added, a smile across his lips, "But if he's anything like his father, be careful around Junior."_

 _Poe took one look at the girl and let out another cry. "Fuck! Everyone looks so good except for me!" He quickly disappeared into the bathroom, the door slamming behind him._

 _Ben, however, stood rooted to the floor, staring at Rey through the open door. She looked, well, as Han had put it, beautiful. Clad in a flowing white dress that hugged every inch of her curves, Rey looked absolutely radiant. Her hair was tied into a simple updo, soft tresses of hair falling along her cheeks, framing her soft smile._

 _She met Ben's gaze and blushed. Beside her, Leia continued to fuss, adding another round of hairspray to the updo._

" _What are you doing here so early?" Ben found himself asking, surprised by the sound of his own voice._

 _Before Rey could even answer, his mother turned to glare at him. She removed a few bobby pins from between her teeth and scoffed. "Isn't it obvious, Benjamin? I'm doing her hair and makeup. I would have done yours if you asked nicely."_

 _Ben glared and crossed his arms. "I was just curious, that's all. And if anyone needs help, it's Poe. He's having a hair crisis."_

 _From behind the closed door of the bathroom, Poe let out another cry. "It's not a crisis! It's a full-blown emergency!"_

 _His mother rolled her eyes and stepped away from Rey. "Let me go help Poe. Just put on your lipstick and then you're good to go." She grinned and hurried out of the room, hands equipped with hair care tools that even Ben couldn't name._

 _He watched as she knocked on the bathroom door and was quickly ushered inside. "Oh, Poe, what did you do?" He heard her ask, followed by another one of Poe's dramatic cries._

 _His brother may have been adopted, but he certainly inherited Leia's penchant for theatrics and drama. Ben glanced back at Rey, who had moved out of his parent's bedroom, and now stood in front of a hallway mirror, applying a pink lipstick to her lips. He cleared his throat._

" _You look nice," He forced out, watching with fascination as she blotted her lips._

 _Rey glanced over at him and actually smiled. "Thank you," She began, before applying more of the pink to her lips, "You look nice, too."_

 _Ben cleared his throat and scratched as his neck. "I gotta head out now." He explained, moving towards the stairs, "I'm going to Dryden's place."_

" _Right. Poe mentioned that." She stepped away from the mirror and smiled, "Have fun then. I'm sure I'll see you later, if the rumors are true."_

 _At the clear confusion across his features, she rolled her eyes. "You really are clueless sometimes, Ben." She shook her head and began to play with the rings on her fingers, "Honestly. I think there's a pretty high chance you'll be named Prom King."_

 _He coughed. "Oh… Yeah. That's not really my thing."_

 _Rey groaned and shook her head. "Well, as Class President, I'll be the one reading the slips and handing out the crowns, so you better not embarrass me up there, Ben Solo!"_

 _He could only nod, especially as his mother called for Rey, and she raced into the bathroom, ready to assist Poe. As he stumbled down the stairs, thinking about her in that white dress, he wondered if being Prom King would really be so bad._

 _Especially if he had the right Queen by his side._

-x-x-x-

August 2018

Denver, Colorado

Tree Hill Park

Basketball had always been Ben's outlet growing up. It was one of the only activities that allowed him to bond with his father, and the sheer physical exertion required allowed him to work off his constant anger.

Normally, when something went wrong in his life, he always found himself at Tree Hill Park, aggressively shooting hoops at the hopelessly decaying nets hanging from the community court.

It was where he sought solace after his grandmother's death. It was where he practiced nonstop before trying out for the varsity squad. It was where he destroyed both nets after a memorable fight with his parents at age 15.

He ran suicides on the fading lines after Rey and Lando sucked face at a party in his own home during his sophomore year.

He sat on the warm concrete in July, staring at the stars the night before he left for his first round of training at the tender age of 18.

And now he was back, a basketball in his hands. He spent a solid hour digging through his father's garage, desperate to find one of his old balls, before journeying out to the park.

Ben had a lot on his mind. He was leaving in a week and he had shared less than twenty words with Rey since returning to Denver.

He felt sick after their last conversation.

Their last fight.

And while part of him was more than happy to be a coward and chicken out of the necessary follow-up conversation, his heart screamed otherwise.

Especially after watching his brother get married earlier in the day.

As he took his first shot, the same stirring of pride in his stomach the moment the ball whished through the hoop, he couldn't help but think back to the conversation he had with his brother, only a week ago.

He had always been relatively close with Poe. But to hear that Ben had somehow inspired his brother, somehow encouraged his brother to go after the man he loved…

It made him feel pathetic.

It made Ben so fucking angry that Poe did it. That Poe could go after the man he loved and not take no for an answer.

But Ben? Well, he'd been in love with a girl for most of his life and he was no closer to making her his than he was at age seventeen.

"I wonder if I'm in a time warp, Solo," a sweet voice said, breaking through the sound of only his breathing and the crickets chirping around him.

Ben grabbed the ball that flew towards him and stopped to face her.

She was a vision, standing there in nothing but a Harvard t-shirt and jean shorts, her warm skin glowing in the moonlight.

"A time warp?" He found himself asking.

Rey nodded and smacked the ball from his hands. "Yeah. We had a few arguments down here. You practically lived here. Which never really made sense to me since you have a basketball court in your backyard."

Ben shrugged, watching as she dribbled. "I liked being alone. And playing at home usually meant Leia poking her head out every five minutes reminding me to stay hydrated."

She smiled, nodding in agreement. "Right. Makes sense."

They stood in silence, just staring at one another. Until he just had to speak.

"What are you doing here?"

She cleared her throat and looked away, gnawing at her lip. "I don't… I don't really know," She explained, her voice quiet, "I felt like taking a walk and just sort of… ended up here."

Ben just nodded, unable to look away from her. "I get it. I needed to think a bit after the wedding."

Rey shifted side to side, still gnawing on her lip. "Yeah? And what are you thinking about?"

He could only laugh. "What do you think?"

Her frown nearly split his heart in two. "I don't know. I can never figure out what you're thinking."

With a few steps, he retrieved the ball and took another shot, the adrenaline immediately smothering him with a sense of calmness. Once the ball returned to his hands, he cleared his throat and turned to Rey.

"I had a conversation with Poe before we left the island and he just went on and on about how brave I am. How I had somehow inspired him to come out and go after Finn."

He shook his head and dribbled aggressively, his heart hammering in his chest. "But frankly, I just think it's kind of bullshit."

Rey frowned and crossed her arms. "That's not really fair, is it? Calling your brother's kind words bullshit?"

Ben shrugged and took another shot. "I'm not brave, Rey. Not really."

His words had her face contorting in anger. "Ben, you can't possibly be serious! You're a fucking Navy Seal! If it weren't for you, all of us would have drowned in the ocean. I would have bled out and—"

"None of that matters, Rey," He interrupted, shaking his head in frustration, "None of it fucking matters because I've been too chickenshit to tell you how I feel."

Rey tensed, just watching as he took a deep breath. When the ball bounced against the concrete and hit his shin, he kicked it against a tree and began to pace.

"But not anymore," He whispered, as if to himself, before stopping to look at her, "We've wasted too fucking long dancing around each other and I can't do anymore. Maybe I'm getting too old for this shit."

He approached her, his eyes locked on her confused face. "Rey, I've been shot at, blown up, forced to survive in the freezing cold and hellish heat and _nothing_ , I mean _nothing_ , has scared me more than seeing you unconscious, your blood soaking Finn's shirt."

She opened her mouth to respond, but he was quick to interrupt, clearly not finished.

"I was so fucking scared, Rey. I've never been scared of death. I know I could die any moment of any day on the job and it doesn't faze me. But the thought of losing you?" He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, "It nearly destroyed me."

Rey swallowed and reached forward, gently touching his arm. "Ben…"

"No, no! I'm not done, okay? Just listen. For once." He cursed and glanced at her hand, before meeting her gaze, "I can tell you now that I had feelings for you when we were in high school. I loved you then. But it doesn't matter because that was ten years ago."

He rubbed at his face, suddenly struggling with his words. "But what you deserve to know is how I feel now. And the truth is, I've never stopped loving you."

With a step away, he let out a terse breath. "Hearing about you and Snap…. It… It destroyed me in a way I didn't know what was possible. And when I heard what he did to you, I almost shot myself in the fucking foot just to fly back and kick his ass."

"I don't know why we've always butted heads," He continued, his voice wavering, "The truth is, I don't fucking care because every minute that I've spent with you has been a moment I wouldn't trade for anything in the world," He swallowed and looked away, suddenly bashful, "I just… You don't have to feel the same. I just… Felt like you deserved to know."

Ben simply stared at her, his body shaking as he waited for her to speak. But Rey simply stood in the moonlight, just staring at him with wide eyes, her mouth agape.

He wondered if he had broken her.

Or if she didn't believe him.

But then Rey stopped forward and smacked his chest, before launching herself into his arms. Nothing felt more right than pulling her closer, listening to her soft cries.

"Oh my god," She cried softly, gripping the soft material of his t-shirt for his dear life, "oh you stupid, man! Of course I feel the same way!"

Ben swallowed and pulled her closer, unbelieving of her words. "You do?"

"Yes!" She practically sobbed out, before pressing a frantic kiss to his chest, the only part of him she could reach without him bending over, "I've been struggling with my complicated feelings for you since the moment I met you!"

He just held her close, savoring the feeling of her in his arms. Yet, even with her words, he still struggled to believe her. Thankfully, she wasn't finished speaking.

"Part of the reason I hated you so much was because of how much I just didn't hate you," She explained with a hiccup, shoving at his chest gently, "But you were always so moody and mysterious. You made everything so difficult."

After a moment to calm her breathing, she nuzzled into his chest, content with the arrangement. "I was really into Snap for a while," She began, her voice vibrating against his chest, "You know, the honeymoon period with any couple. I thought for awhile that things were right. That maybe he was the one."

Ben couldn't help but tense, listening to her discuss her ex-fiancé. While the logical part of him knew the man was no longer a threat, her words still had him on high alert.

"And then it all changed the night we went to Mos's," She explained softly, glancing up at him, "I saw you for the first time after starting to date him and…" She couldn't help but laugh softly, "I knew no one would ever compare."

"But you kept dating him," Ben couldn't help but follow-up with, not wanting to start a fight but unable to not state the obvious.

Rey nodded and kissed his chest. "Yeah," She whispered, her voice sad, "Because he was interested and you… weren't."

He just pulled her closer, basking in just the ability to hold her. So much so that the words just escaped out.

"I love you."

She glanced up at him, her cheeks tinting pink, "I love you, too," She added, before nuzzling into him, "But where do we go from here?"

It was a question that Ben dreaded. It was one of the biggest reasons he hesitated in ever coming clean to Rey about his feelings.

"I still have to leave."

"I know."

He pressed a kiss to her head and shut his eyes. "You could move to San Diego."

She glanced up at him, her face thoughtful. "I think Chewie would like the beach."

"I don't anymore," Ben found himself muttering, causing Rey to laugh.

She pressed another kiss to his chest. "We have time to make it work. But right now, I just…" She sniffled and grabbed his hand, "I just want to be with you."

Ben swallowed and leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips.

"I've been waiting for you to say that for almost twenty years."

 _-x-x-x-_

 _May 2008_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _The Dagobah Hotel_

 _Considering how much his parents paid in tuition for the acclaimed private school, it wasn't really a surprise that their prom was held at the most luxurious, exclusive hotel in Denver, smackdab in the middle of the theater district._

 _Similarly, it shouldn't have been a surprise when Ben was named Prom King, especially after warnings from Poe, Rey, and most of his teammates. He did hear that Dryden was actively campaigning towards the end of the week, especially after the murmurs around school accurately predicted that his prom date, Qi'ra Clarke, would be named Prom Queen._

 _The entire thing was ridiculous, if you asked Ben. Who campaigned to be Prom King? Ben would have happily given Dryden the crown if it meant he could have stood to the side, watching the festivities rather than be a part of them._

 _But it didn't matter now. Just as Rey had explained, she stood on the stage, glowing in the dimmed lights, holding an envelope with the freshly counted votes. Beside her stood her vice president and date, Lando, holding a fancy looking pillow with the crowns resting on top._

 _Ben wasn't sure what bothered him more—the matching baby blue corsage and boutonniere that Rey and Lando wore, or the way that every person in the room was staring at Ben and Qi'ra, dancing alone._

 _He didn't ask for this. Any of it. He didn't ask for the crown, or the attention, or his teammate sending daggers into his back, or for his attention to be more focused on the girl standing on stage, wearing a white dress that sent his thoughts way deep into the future._

 _And as Rey and Lando left the stage, and joined Ben and Qi'ra on the dancefloor, something scary occurred to him._

 _When school ended, and he entered basic training, the life he had grown accustomed to would disappear. And no, he didn't care about shortened showers and no more midnight runs to Taco Bell with his brother and sleeping until noon on the weekends and playing his Xbox until 4am._

 _None of that mattered._

 _In fact, as he watched Rey spin on the dancefloor, her smile bright and her laugh infectious, he realized she would be what he missed the most._


	13. The Solo Family

_November 2006_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Solo Residence_

" _I'm so sorry, Rey—" Leia explained, despite having her nose buried in a pile of paperwork, "Han won't be back for another three weeks. He wants to expand outside of Colorado so he's touring facilities in New Mexico, Arizona, California, Utah, Nevada—"_

 _Rey frowned, on the verge of tears. "Then could you teach me?" She asked, her voice shaky as the waterworks threatened to fall, "Please?"_

 _Leia frowned and finally looked up from her papers. "I would, Rey. But the truth is, I don't know how to drive stick shift."_

 _At the woman's words, she broke into tears. Deep down, Rey knew she was overreacting. She really, truly did. But, her sixteenth birthday had been almost a week ago, and Chewie surprised her with a beautiful old truck that he and Han had restored. Unfortunately, it had a manual transmission, which Rey didn't know how to drive, despite frequently helping Han out at one of his servicing facilities._

 _Chewie, of course, knew Rey lacked the knowledge, and had anticipated teaching Rey the minute she had the new keys in her hands. But lady luck didn't seem to be on her side. The following day, Chewie threw his back out, and was told by the doctor to be off his feet for at least another few weeks._

 _Which meant Rey, who had received the nicest present in the history of the world, had to stare at her car parked in the driveway, unable to drive it for god knows how long. It was a cruel twist of fate, and as a teenager, that car was meant to represent her freedom._

 _But with Chewie hurt, Han out of town, and Leia lacking the skillset, there was no one else she could ask._

 _That was, until, Ben strolled in, wearing only a pair of basketball shorts, his bare torso shining with sweat. If Rey wasn't so upset given the turn of events, she might have been intrigued by his appearance. Instead, she continued her sniffling, desperately trying to stop her tears._

 _Ben took one look at her and froze. "Uh. Why are you crying?" He asked, as he reached into the refrigerator to grab himself a bottle of water._

 _Leia sighed and rubbed at her tired eyes. "Benjamin, put a shirt on for god's sake," She muttered, watching her son critically as he slipped into a Tatooine High School sweatshirt. Then, she continued, "You saw the truck Chewie bought Rey for her birthday. Well, it's a stick shift, and she doesn't know how to drive it. Since Chewie's now on bedrest and your father is out of town, I don't know who else can teach her."_

 _Ben ran a hand through his sweaty hair and glanced at Rey. She managed to stop the tears, but her cheeks and nose were still stained red. He sighed. "Mom, I can teach her."_

 _Leia laughed. "Ben, you don't know how to drive stick shift."_

" _Yes, I do," He retorted, rolling his eyes, "Dad taught me."_

 _That perked Leia's interest. "And when would your father have taught you?"_

" _Uh… When the Starkiller was still running."_

 _Leia scoffed and crossed her arms. "That old thing hasn't run since you were what, thirteen years old?"_

 _The mother and son shared a look, one that had Leia cursing. "Your father took you out to drive at thirteen? And where was your brother?"_

 _Ben snorted. "Poe was too nervous. He sat in the backseat."_

" _Of all the things Han could do—putting my sons in danger—I've got the right mind to call him right now and give him a piece of my mind—"_

 _But Rey interrupted Leia's rant, her teary eyes staring at Ben. "You mean it? You'll teach me?"_

 _Ben shrugged. "Yeah. I can try, I mean. I'm not an expert or anything, but I know the basics."_

 _Rey rushed forward and grabbed his hand. "Please! I'll take anything! I just want to be able to drive my own car!"_

 _He opened his mouth to respond but dropped his gaze to her grip. Her tiny tan hand, with pink nails and all, was quite a contrast to his very sweaty, very pale forearm. She gulped and immediately jerked her hand away._

" _Right, so, can we start now?"_

 _Ben grumbled and finished his water. "Let me take a quick shower and then I'm all yours."_

 _Rey let out such a high-pitched squeal that both Ben and Leia cringed. As Ben wandered up the stairs, Rey began to bounce up and down, her excitement practically oozing from her bones. Leia simply smiled and shook her head._

" _Now, behave with him. I know how you two like to argue," Leia chuckled and began to collect her papers, "That's probably an understatement. Regardless, Ben has a temper when he drives. Just keep the road rage down to a minimum, okay?"_

 _With an excited nod, Rey assured Leia everything would be absolutely fine, and booked it to the front porch, clutching her keys to her chest._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _When Ben finished his shower, they began the fifteen-minute walk back to Rey's house, a calm silence over the pair of them. Despite the cool breeze picking up, Ben wore only a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, his shaggy hair still wet. It was quite the contrast to Rey's outfit. She was notorious for getting cold easily, and came prepared, dressed in a winter jacket._

 _Once they reached Chewie's tiny bungalow, they stopped in the driveway, staring at her baby blue truck._

" _Wow," Ben began, before glancing at Rey, "It's—"_

 _She immediately huffed and held up her hand. "I know. It's not your brand new X5, but it's perfect," She ran her hands along the fresh paint job, tears welling in her eyes, "I helped them repair it. I had no idea that Chewie was going to buy it for me."_

 _Ben sighed and slid into the passenger seat. "First of all, I didn't ask for a BMW. I just got one," He buckled up and ran a hand through his damp hair, "Second, I was going to compliment it. You don't have to assume everything coming out of my mouth is an insult, Rey."_

 _Now seemingly embarrassed by his words, she slid into the driver's seat and buckled up. Once settled in the seat, she gripped the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white. She glanced over at Ben._

" _Right! I'm ready!"_

 _He rolled his eyes. "Jesus, Rey, do you even have your license? You look like you're about to vomit."_

" _Of course, I have my license!" She hissed back, dropping her hands from the wheel, "I'm just…" She looked down and whimpered, "I'm scared. I never want anything to happen to this car."_

 _Ben sighed and nodded. "I get it. I do." He offered her a reassuring smile, "I'll help how I can. Now start the engine."_

 _Rey grinned and did exactly what he asked._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _Three hours later, the truck zipped down Ben's street, stopping precariously in front of the Solo home. As soon as the car stopped, Ben threw himself out the door and groaned. Rey leaned over the empty passenger seat and waved._

" _Thanks for all the help, Ben!" She cried delightedly, her smile massive, "I'm so excited to get this baby on the road!"_

 _Ben shook his head frantically. "I am_ _ **never**_ _driving with you again, Rey! You're a fucking lunatic on the road!"_

 _She merely laughed and shifted out of park. "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen!" With a wink, she drove off, leaving Ben to watch the baby blue truck practically fly away._

 _But from the comfort of his front lawn, he finally got a clear view of the license plate._

 _ **SCAVNGR**_

 _He couldn't help but smile as he wandered back inside._

-x-x-x-

November 2018

Landstuhl, Germany

Landstuhl Regional Medical Center

Everyone told her not to go. As soon as Leia and Han were assured his injuries weren't fatal, they were content with waiting for him to be flown back to DC for further treatment, just as they were advised to.

But not Rey.

Not when she got the call from Poe.

That his team was surrounded. There had been a bomb. Some gunfire. That four of his fellow servicemen were dead. That Ben was hurt, being airlifted to Germany for treatment.

She really didn't think twice. In mere minutes, she had her passport in her hand and was in an uber heading to the airport. She could not have cared less that her flight to Frankfurt cost more than her monthly rent.

Rey had to see him.

-x-x-x-

January 2019

Denver, Colorado

Coruscant Condos

"You need to start your stretches," Rey reminded him, joining him on the sofa. She set a tray down, filled with Leia's homemade lasagna and some lemonade, and quickly set a plate in front of him.

Ever since Ben returned home injured, almost three months ago, his mother was constantly over to drop off food and check in on her son.

Because to everyone's surprise (and delight), Ben had decided to stay in Denver while he recovered, not his own place in San Diego.

In fact, he was basically living with Rey at this point.

And the arrangement worked. Her job had some flexibility, so she frequently accompanied him to his appointments at the VA, although Poe or his parents would step in if Rey was unavailable.

She watched as Ben began to eat, shifting uncomfortably. Despite desperately trying not to think back to finding him on a hospital bed in Germany, she simply couldn't. Not when she recalled the list of injuries explained to her by the hospital personnel.

A broken sternum, a broken leg, two bullets in his ribs, second degree burns on his back, the potential for permanent nerve damage…

She watched him, hypnotized as he calmly dug into the lasagna, and swallowed.

He was here. He was okay.

Hurt, starting physical therapy, but he was okay.

"You okay?" He asked, surprised by her intimate attention.

She sniffled and grabbed his hand. "Are you?"

Ben merely smiled. "Why wouldn't I be?"

No words were needed. She simply kissed him.

-x-x-x-

 _September 2015_

 _Denver, Colorado_

 _Coruscant Condos_

 _She could kill Finn. Her best friend must harbor some serious feelings of resentment towards her. Hardcore hatred, in fact, if she had to guess._

 _What other reasoning could he have for forcing her to make the call?_

 _It was a simple task, really. Poe's birthday was at the end of the month and Rey had graciously stepped in to help Finn plan his boyfriend a surprise party. In fact, given Leia's connections, most of the details were already set in stone._

 _The rooftop of the Dagobah Hotel had been booked, forcing Rey to relive her memories from Senior Prom for the evening. The food was being catered by local celebrity chef Jabba Hutt, the cake was being artfully crafted by Bobba Bakeries, and the big present of the evening was a romantic getaway for Finn and Poe—the two were being gifted a wonderful week in Europe right before the holidays, meaning romantic strolls in the chilly air, exploring Christmas markets, and drinking mulled wine to their hearts' content._

 _So, it seemed to Rey that most of everything was set and ready to go. Until Finn got another brilliant idea to have his videographer friend create a video featuring Poe's closest friends talking about well, Poe._

 _It was simple enough. Finn, Rey, or Han and Leia had access to almost every single person they wanted to talk to._

 _In fact, the only person not readily available was arguably the person Poe would most want to see on the big screen._

 _That was precisely why a phone call was necessary._

 _Rey simply did not understand why it was her placing the call and not Finn._

 _But there was no use in complaining forever. All she could do was double-check the time difference and place the call with the number given to her._

" _Solo," his deep voice answered after a few rings, "Is this mom or Poe?"_

 _Rey gulped and sat on the edge of her bed, her belly suddenly filled with butterflies._

" _Erm, neither," She explained gently, suddenly wishing she could see his face, "It's your favorite person."_

 _Silence followed her words, before his soft chuckle filled her ears._

" _Rey," He began, the way he said he name practically lighting her stomach on fire, "Is everything okay?"_

 _She bit her lip and laid back on her bed, clutching the phone tightly to herself. "Everything is fine. I hope I didn't disappoint you, you know. Not being your mother or Poe."_

 _He laughed again, sending shivers down her spine. "It's always Poe or mom so this is a refreshing change. I'm just…" she could hear the phone moving, causing her to momentarily panic about his signal, "Surprised to hear from you, that's all."_

" _Well, someone has to torment you even when you're away. That's always been my job, hasn't it?" She inquired, bringing her knees to her chest, "It's a job I take quite seriously."_

 _Ben snorted. "Please. It's the reverse, Rey. I thought I was the one that drove you crazy. I'm sure you miss that desperately."_

 _She couldn't help but blush. "Me miss you? Nuts! You're crazy, Ben Solo!"_

" _Well, fair. But my crazy is limited. Your crazy extends to behind the wheel. In the kitchen. In swimming pools."_

 _Rey laughed, practically hypnotized by the sound of his voice. "Did you just insult my driving, cooking, and swimming ability in a single sentence?"_

" _Mhm, I think so. I even tried to help you with all three."_

 _She rolled her eyes. "Oh, of course! I will never forget Ben Solo in a pair of pink floaties."_

" _And I'll never forget you almost killing me when I taught you stick shift."_

 _With a gasp, she lurched forward. "You take that back! I learned so quickly—Han and Chewie were so impressed!"_

 _Ben snorted again. "Probably because they're such awful drivers, too. But I promise you, they'd agree on your lack of skills in the kitchen."_

 _Rey couldn't help but pout. "Unfair. Dinners with Chewie were of the canned or frozen variety. You can't fault me for being unable to cook!"_

" _Well, I survived off Taco Bell for most of my 16_ _th_ _year and even I can cook."_

 _She groaned and bit her lip. "You're so annoying, Ben Solo. Just absolutely the worst."_

 _He laughed again, the deep rumbling tickling her ear. "You know what's the worst? Your singing. Remember the Talent Show in seventh grade?"_

" _BEN!" She shrieked, herself trying to forget the memory, "We agreed to never bring that up again!"_

 _With a laugh, he retorted, "No, you agreed to that. I never agreed to anything."_

" _Fine! Shall we discuss the Staff vs Students basketball game our sophomore year when you let Vice Principal Snoke get around your defense twice?"_

 _She could practically hear him roll his eyes. "Well, I had to stay on that asshole's good side so, that was a calculated decision. Your terrible singing though…"_

 _Rey gasped again. "Alright, well, how about when Finn and I went into your internet history freshmen year and—"_

" _Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not get ahead of ourselves here—"_

" _I think it would be a fun topic to discuss, don't you think?"_

" _I think not! What about when you had your first period and—"_

" _Stop right there, Ben Solo!"_

" _Will you make me?"_

" _You'd be surprised what I'm capable of!"_

 _-x-x-x-_

 _After a two-hour conversation that only ended when Ben was forced off the phone, a thought occurred to Rey._

 _She never even asked him about the recording._

-x-x-x-

April 2019

Denver, Colorado

Denver International Airport

Rey stood by Ben's side, their hands interlocked. He was finally walking normally after months of physical therapy, but Rey still saw his occasional wince. The bones had healed, but some of the nerve damage was forever.

As were the memories.

She used to dream about having him all to herself, no longer worrying about him being in danger.

She just wished he didn't have to be hurt for that to happen.

Ben would never voice his struggle, but she knew the mental adjustment had been even harder for him than the physical pain. After more than a decade of service, he was permanently back to the civilian world.

It was a huge adjustment.

All Rey could do was hold his hand and stand by his side.

So that's what she did, squeezing his hand with a smile. He glanced to his side and offered her an equally as charming one.

From beside her, Leia squealed. "There they are!" She exclaimed, gripping her husband's hand in delight, "Oh my god, it's finally happening!"

Rey glanced at the walkway, looking through the arriving travelers and endless rolling suitcases.

But she too saw them.

Poe, grinning, holding far too many bags.

And to his side, Finn, holding a little girl, no older than two years old.

The pair were returning from Guatemala, where they had adopted a little girl. It was the same place the Solos had adopted Poe so many years ago, making it an obvious choice for where to adopt their child and honoring Poe's heritage.

Within minutes, the couple appeared in front of them, Finn cradling the little girl to his chest. With olive skin and a headful of dark curls, she looked like an angel.

"This is Beatriz," Poe explained, gently brushing a curl away from the sleeping girl's face, "We're going to call her Bebe."

Rey grinned as the child was passed around, tears filling her eyes as Leia gushed over the little girl.

And then the little angel ended up in Ben's arms. When his eyes met Rey's, she found she couldn't breathe.

Not watching his large form hold the tiny child so close, so delicately, so perfectly.

New feelings welled in her chest.

She knew they wouldn't go away anytime soon.

-x-x-x-

June 2019

Denver, Colorado

Mos Eisley Cantina

"Wait, I'm still so lost. Who exactly did you sue?" Rose asked, sitting comfortably in the corner booth, taking a sip of her margarita.

Rey bit her lip, her body still buzzing with the news. Only mere hours ago, Finn had called her, explaining that the case was settled out of court.

Then, he proceeded to give her a monetary figure that caused her to scream. Ben even charged into the room, afraid she was hurt.

She was most certainly not hurt.

"Um, well, the boat manufacturer and the port and rental company in Miami for negligence," Rey explained, still iffy on the legal jargon herself, "Finn and his firm actually did all the work. I just… You know, signed my name and stuff."

Rose nodded, fascinated by the situation. "Would you… be comfortable giving me a figure?"

Rey bit her lip, considering if she should. But, ultimately, she couldn't hold it in.

"Guess."

"Half a million?"

"Higher."

Rose quirked an eyebrow and ate a tortilla chip. "A million."

"Higher."

"Two?"

"Higher."

Rose groaned and waved her hand. "Alright, never mind. But holy shit girl, you're loaded now. What are you going to do?"

In the hours since Finn gave her the news, she had asked herself the same question. But, ultimately, two answers immediately came to mind.

"Well, first, I'm going to buy Chewie a new place. Somewhere he can retire in style. And with a hot tub," She explained, smiling at the thought, "He's always wanted one of those."

Rose awed and nudged her friend. "That's so sweet! Anything else?"

Rey swallowed and bit her lip. "Yes, actually. We're expanding Learnable."

-x-x-x-

August 2019

Denver, Colorado

1983 Endor Terrace

She groaned and took him deeper, loving the way his cock hit the base of her throat. It almost made her gag, but the feeling was otherworldly. Besides, Ben's moans always destroyed her, as did the way he pulled at her hair.

"Fuck, Rey, you gotta stop—" He gasped out, his eyes nearly rolling back, "I want to—fuck—"

But she didn't care what he wanted. So, she hummed along his cock, nearly squealing when she felt him erupt in her mouth. As he settled his breathing, she smirked and sat up, glancing down at him.

He groaned and rubbed at his eyes. "Fuck, you kill me Rey."

With a laugh, she ran her hands delicately across his chest, never growing tired of his post-orgasm face. And while she certainly could use some attention, she was more interested in sharing some exciting news.

"I want to tell you something," She began, nibbling on her lip.

Her words perked his interest. "Yeah? What's up?"

Rey smiled and grabbed his hands. "Well, I used some of my portion of the settlement to expand Learnable. I'm starting a new team to work specifically with children of servicemen and women."

But Ben didn't immediately respond. He simply stared at her, his face giving nothing away. In fact, his lack of response had her heart in her stomach.

"Ben?" She whispered, frowning, "Aren't you going to say something?"

He didn't. He merely picked her up and set her on the bed, before disappearing out of their shared bedroom.

In the house they were now renting together.

Tears burned in her eyes. Sure, she knew she idealized things, and it would have been totally understandable if Ben wasn't as excited about the expansion of her non-profit as she was.

But for him to say nothing?

To just walk out on her?

As the tears began to stream down her cheeks, she noticed Ben stroll back in. She hiccupped and looked at him.

"I didn't want to do this now," He explained gently, staring at her with a sort of reverence that made her heart soar, "But then you do things and I just… I can't not act."

She had no words as he dropped to his knee, a small velvet box in his hands. When he flipped it open, exposing a gorgeous diamond band, she was forever gone.

"Will you marry me?" He whispered, his loving gaze just destroying her, "You'd make me the happiest man in the world. And I know this isn't ideal. I had this entire romantic evening planned but then you just—you did this amazing thing—and I can't wait any longer—"

And Rey couldn't wait any longer either. She launched herself into his arms, kissing him with a sort of intensity that curled her toes and set her on fire.

He laughed and gently pulled her away, smiling down at her with tears in his eyes.

"Is that a yes?" He whispered, removing the ring from its box.

Rey sniffled and shoved him gently. "Of course, it's a yes, you big moron!"

And as soon as it was on her finger, she launched another aggressive kissing attack, only relenting when he nuzzled into her ear, whispering naughty things.

Suddenly, there were plenty of other places she much preferred his kisses.

-x-x-x-

December 2019

Denver, Colorado

Tatooine High School

Ben looked delectable in his black slacks and baby blue button down, his hair finally back to the length that Rey had once loved in their high school years.

In fact, despite how difficult the adjustment to civilian life had been for Ben, both mentally and emotionally, she knew he was beyond delighted to finally have his hair fully covering his ears again.

But, currently, he looked upset, and Rey knew why. Despite the game having ended almost forty-five minutes ago, and most of the parking lot having emptied, Ben continued to pace around their car.

"Hey," She began, stopping his movements with a firm hand on his shoulder, "Don't beat yourself up over this."

Ben cursed and shook his head, his cheeks red with frustration. "I just… We got our asses kicked out there!" He exclaimed, rubbing at his jaw, "Now I know how Coach Maul used to feel."

But Rey didn't want him to get upset over something as trivial as the varsity squad losing their first game of the season. She knew he had a competitive streak, and losing was disappointing, but it wasn't worth the stress.

"Hey," She whispered, stepping close enough to rest her hands on his chest, "You did a great job, Coach Solo."

Clearly the title did something to him, if the way his eyes darkened was any indication. "Did I now?" He whispered, his voice dangerously low.

Rey smirked and began to toy with the buttons straining against his chest. "You did. You've been working so hard. Helping me at Learnable, taking classes at the University, and now coaching at your alma mater?"

He growled and leaned closer. "Yeah. I have been working hard."

"You know what I always wanted to do?" She practically purred, now working open his top button.

He gulped and leaned closer, absolutely paralyzed by her words. "What?"

"Get fucked on the backseat of the Prom King's car," She explained, batting her eyelashes in the process.

Ben gulped and nodded slowly. "Right. Prom King?"

"Mhm. I heard he coaches basketball now."

Her smirk only intensified when his hungry mouth met hers.

-x-x-x-

February 2020

Denver, Colorado

Bliss Books

Rey followed Ben into the small bookstore, her wedding band sitting comfortably on her ring finger. She still wasn't used to the piece of jewelry, but whenever she saw it, her heart exploded.

Leia had been a bit upset that they too had taken the same route Poe and Finn had, electing to get married in a courthouse. But they quickly decided that after so many near death experiences and so many hurdles preventing them from getting together, all that mattered was the title.

Finn now joked that they were both Solos.

Nothing made her happier.

Ben grinned and nudged her, pointing at a display sign sitting by a stack of books.

A rather serious headshot of Poe stared back at them, followed by a title that still made Rey giggle.

 _ **The Triangle: A True Story of Love, Family, and Being Stranded on an Island**_

 _ **Written by Poe D. Solo**_

It came out right around Christmas time and immediately topped the New York Time's Best Sellers' List. And now, on a Saturday afternoon, Poe had a line of people out the door ready for the first signing on his book tour.

"I can't believe he really did it," Ben explained, glancing at his wife with a grin, "He kept saying he'd write a book but I kind of thought he was bullshitting."

"Poe is always kind of bullshitting," Another voice added, forcing both Ben and Rey to spin around.

Finn appeared, Bebe holding his hand. The little girl was tightly wrapped in a stylish pea-coat, holding what appeared to be a child-sized hot chocolate from Starbucks.

Apparently, they were starting her young.

Rey hugged her _brother-in-law_ and kissed his cheek, before pressing a kiss to her _niece's_ head.

She knew those titles would never get old.

Ben bit his lip and grabbed Rey's hand. "I gotta be honest, Finn." He started, looking rather embarrassed, "I haven't read it. Neither has Rey. We just uh… Can't get ourselves to read it."

Finn looked a bit disheartened by the news, but quickly shook his head. "I get it. It's hard to relive but…" He considered his words, before continuing, "You need to. There's an entire section written about you two."

"About us?" Rey managed to squeak out, glancing at Ben and back at Finn, "What do you mean?"

The man merely shrugged, a grin across his lips.

"Read it and you'll find out."

Their conversation was broken apart by rapturous cheers. They watched with proud smiles as Poe was led in, seated behind a stack of books with his face on it.

-x-x-x-

February 2020

Denver, Colorado

1983 Endor Terrace

 _It's hard watching someone you love so much, someone you trust so much, someone you'd give anything for struggle to admit their feelings._

 _But it's even harder when it's two people._

 _Ben and Rey have such an interesting history, one that even to this day, they desperately try to downplay. The truth is, the minute Rey appeared from across the pond, I swear my mother was placing bets on her and Ben ending up together._

 _I used to wonder, before it became quite apparent that I was not into women, why my mother didn't think Rey and I would end up happily ever after. Because she and I had so much in common—we were both orphaned and adopted, both avid readers and lovers of her best friend and my husband Finn, and overall, just goofballs._

 _But now, it's easy to see what pulled the two of them together. The fire that burns between them is remarkable. It singes and it stings, and it has the ability to light the world ablaze._

 _Sometimes, when I hold Finn close at night, I like to tell myself that true love is something that only I have. That it's something that only he and I were lucky enough to find._

 _But whenever I see my brother, and now my sister-in-law, I know that isn't true. The chemistry and the love they share is incredible._

 _It is real and it is desperate._

 _The connection they share is unlike anything I've ever encountered, and I truly can't wait to share some of their story._

Rey shut the book, unable to read any more. Not with the flood of tears streaming down her cheeks. She hiccupped and looked at her husband.

He simply stared at her, his eyes filled with wonder.

"I love you so much," He whispered, his voice disappearing in his throat, "So fucking much."

Rey let out a sob and nodded. "I love you too."

Ben pressed a frantic kiss to her lips, his body shaking. "I can't believe he wrote this."

"We owe him a lot."

"Can we ever repay him?" Ben asked, a desperate laugh on his lips.

Rey merely swallowed. "We could make him our baby's godfather."

Ben just stared at her, mouth agape. "What?"

"I'm pregnant."

-x-x-x-

June 2020

Denver, Colorado

1983 Endor Terrace

She was ravenous. It started with her stuffing bits of cheeseburger in her mouth, continuing with hurried slurps of a sugary, creamy strawberry milkshake, and only ending when every last French fry disappeared from the bottom of the greasy, paper bag.

Well, it didn't end. Not exactly.

Her hunger shifted.

Specifically, to the bespectacled man beside her.

Ben had taken up wearing reading glasses, usually putting them on when he studied his business text books.

They did something to Rey.

Apparently, her husband sensed the attention and shut his text book, glancing back at her. His smile made her toes curl.

"How was your meal?" He asked, glancing at the empty wrappers surrounding her, "I should probably stop answering your every food whim. My mother would kill me if she knew I let you have cheeseburgers two nights in a row."

Rey snorted and rose to her feet, sauntering over to Ben, "First of all, I'm an independent woman and can eat whatever I want." She stopped only when she stood over him, finally at his height while he remained seated, "And second, my meal isn't over."

Ben hummed and set his book down. "Did you want my chicken sandwich?"

"No. Take your pants off."

She watched his lips twitch into a smirk. "What was that?"

Rey let out a groan. "Dammit, Ben! Get naked! I'm dying."

And to really get across her point, she practically ripped the comfortable cotton maxi dress off her body, delighted to stand in front of Ben in only a pair of blue cotton underwear.

Ben grunted and stood up. "Alright, you've got my attention."

She practically mewled the entire walk over to the bedroom, only stopping her whining when he lifted her onto the bed and ridded himself of his clothes. And then he was kissing down her body, taking ample time to lick and nip at her enlarged breasts, making lewd comments the entire way down her body.

"Fuck, your tits are just perfect," He moaned out, before gently nipping at the right one, "All fucking plump and beautiful right now."

His mouth dragged down her chest and stomach, where he pressed gentle kisses along the bump. "And look at how my baby is growing in your belly," He whispered, bringing both of his hands to rub against her skin, "You look so good with my baby inside you."

Rey whimpered and waved her arms, desperately trying to get him closer to her. He quickly appeared her, dropping his mouth to the crux between her legs, humming eagerly at the sight that met him.

"So wet for me," He purred, before disposing of her panties, "So fucking hot and wet and tight."

She nearly jerked off the bed when his hot tongue met her core, enthusiastically licking and sucking at her flesh with a sort of reverence that would never get old. His thick fingers soon joined his mouth, and within moments, he had her falling apart on his tongue.

When she finally finished shaking and crying out, he kissed back up her belly and grinned.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I sure as hell liked my meal."

Rey growled and sat up. "Boxers off."

Ben smirked. "Yes, ma'am."

-x-x-x-

October 2020

Denver, Colorado

Denver Memorial Hospital

He was speechless, unable to do much but stare at the tiny form in his arms, a stirring in his chest that he knew would now never disappear.

Because the tiny form smelled like happiness and despite his wiggling and cries of discomfort, he was absolutely perfect.

A thick head of dark hair, a button nose, and the cutest bottom Ben had ever seen.

He was perfect.

Rey shifted from her bed, watching them with a soft smile.

"He doesn't cry much," Rey whispered, clearly tired from the activities of earlier in the day.

Ben chuckled and held the child closer. "Maybe he takes after me. You know I don't talk much."

Before Ben could revel in the silence, of just sharing soft smiles with his wife and new child, the rest of the family barreled in. Finn held Bebe, who in turn held a giant 'It's a Boy!' balloon. Poe held what appeared to be coffee—something Ben was immensely happy to see.

And his mother was being restrained by both his father and Chewie, looking ready to practically pounce.

"Oh my god," Leia sobbed out, trudging forward to stand in front of Ben and the baby, "He's perfect. You two did so well!"

Rey smiled and accepted a kiss from Han and Chewie, before turning her attention back to Leia. "He is perfect. We're so lucky."

Ben carefully handed the child over, truthfully excited to see his mother hold his son for the first time.

As she held the baby close, his father moved over, staring at the child as well. He glanced at his son, looking more emotional than Ben was used to.

"What did you name him?" He asked, attempting to keep his composure.

Rey and Ben shared a look and a smile.

"His name is Dylan," Rey responded, her cheeks pink with pride.

Ben grinned and glanced down at the baby in his mother's arms.

"It means son of the sea," He added, a new wave of emotion hitting him.

-x-x-x-

December 2020

Denver, Colorado

Solo Residences

Ben was comfortable sitting on the ground, Rey between his legs. Dylan was content in her arms, clad in a tiny elf costume, better behaved than any two-month-old he had ever encountered.

These massive Christmases felt new, despite being something they did every year. Perhaps it was because every year seemed to bring a new guest.

Now, with his parents, Finn, Poe, and Bebe, as well as Rey, Dylan, himself, and Chewie, it was really turning into a full house. Then, out of nowhere, his Uncle Luke showed up at his mother's house the previous evening, offering no notice of his arrival but at least bringing along some fruit cake.

Rey looked over her shoulder, offering him a mischievous grin. "Did you like the sweater your mom knitted for you? She's been going on about it for months."

Ben nodded and glanced at their abandoned pile of open presents, before looking back to his wife and child. Truthfully, he could care less about the sweater he got, or the calligraphy set Finn and Poe got him, or the sweet drawing his niece made for him.

In fact, he quickly realized that no gift would ever compare to the ones sitting in his arms.

Nothing would compare to Rey.

Or to Dylan.

With that thought, he smiled and handed Rey a small box. "This is for you."

She grinned and opened it slowly, impeded by the small child in her arms. But, finally, the tiny green plant was revealed. With a quirk of her eyebrow, she looked back over her shoulder at her husband.

"What exactly is this?" She asked.

Ben smiled and plucked the plant from her hands, now hovering it over her head.

"Mistletoe."

And before she could inquire further, he pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, only shortened by the gurgle of the baby in her arms.

"What was that?" She whispered, a grin growing on her lips, "Because it was a bit short."

Ben merely smiled. "To make up for our last mistletoe kiss. Since you don't remember."

Rey grinned and kissed him again.

"We'll have plenty more to make up for it."

 _ **THE END**_


End file.
